My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | My Team | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Klay Thompson! Picture this: standing at 201 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. The chef's surprise of the evening is Donald Trump. A film producer by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the risky picture with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-128 (L)
Game time! Jelly Roll and this potential breakout star ready to put on a show at the palace of hoops!
Klay Thompson forces up a pull-up jumper over the defense! Defense that's basically a suggestion! Bad decision!
Jelly Roll shoots into a dead end from the left corner! Turnover! Tendency to rush!
Donald Trump gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the risky picture on a rough day!
Klay Thompson crosses over the towel! This well-respected player showing occasional mental lapses!
Break! Jynxzi rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Rumor has it Jynxzi has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Klay Thompson steps back the Spalding into the front rim! That's frustrating for this hooper's hooper!
Donald Trump cramps up! Muscles tight from their loaded checkbook and the Wilson double duty!
Stephen Curry steps back the orange right to the defense! Costly mistake by this guy everybody knows!
Jynxzi, this solid build, pounds the scorer's table! Heavy feet on full display!
Stephen Curry shoots to the tunnel in disappointment. This bonafide star will learn from this.
Jelly Roll walks head down toward the tunnel. Donald Trump drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
105-94 (W)
Donald Trump fires up the crowd to open the game! This basketball god starting strong!
Jynxzi nails an alley-oop with the ease of a youtuber who captivates the algorithm. Natural!
Klay Thompson a rebound in traffic with authority! This walking skyscraper protecting the paint!
Donald Trump, this absolute legend, draws the double and finds the open shooter! Freakish explosiveness!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Halftime. The doctor examines Jynxzi's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Did you know Jynxzi started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
A scoop layup by Klay Thompson! The crowd erupts! That dawg mentality personified!
The crowd waves their hot mic replicas! Jelly Roll has started a movement!
Stephen Curry sacrifices the body taking the charge! This established star ultimate teammate!
Donald Trump has found another gear! This household name shifting into overdrive!
This surprise package Jynxzi seals the deal! Victory with a gym-rat work ethic!
Jelly Roll and Jynxzi carry Donald Trump like a trophy across the entire court. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
107-116 (L)
Jelly Roll, this do-it-all player, announced to huge cheers! A standing ovation!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, wastes a golden chance with a wild and-one!
This dude putting the league on notice Klay Thompson commits the 5-second violation! Clock management tendency to rush!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, can't keep up with the speed! Limited stamina exposed!
Jynxzi with the tough floater through contact! This newcomer won't be denied!
Back to the locker room. Donald Trump punches his locker. The staff told me Donald Trump sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Stephen Curry penetrates angrily after the turnover! This guy everybody knows spiraling!
Stephen Curry fades away the rock awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this top-tier talent!
Jelly Roll uses their size out there! The rapper has a built-in advantage!
This established star Stephen Curry can't close out! The legs are shot in the paint!
Jelly Roll looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a rapper!
Stephen Curry bites his lip, fists clenched. Jelly Roll shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
106-88 (W)
Donald Trump stretches center court! Loosening up, the film producer is getting ready!
Jynxzi with another thunderous slam! You can't stop this man!
Donald Trump walls up in the perimeter! Immovable as their loaded checkbook bolted down!
Jelly Roll with the alley-oop pass! This combo guard throws it up, teammate throws it down!
Donald Trump sets up the play three passes ahead! Three moves ahead, like a film producer at work!
First half is done. Jynxzi is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Word is Jynxzi sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Klay Thompson takes off through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
You can feel a hostile crowd through the screen! Stephen Curry in the spotlight!
This hidden prospect Jynxzi unites the locker room! Ridiculous creativity captain's mentality!
Jelly Roll is the protagonist tonight! This hidden prospect authoring a masterpiece!
That's the game! Klay Thompson finishes with a monster performance! This league veteran victorious!
Stephen Curry makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Klay Thompson makes a bigger heart. Jynxzi makes a massive heart. Tonight I learned Stephen Curry used to be a film producer before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
106-98 (W)
Jelly Roll announces themselves! The rapper has arrived and the building knows it!
An and-one from Klay Thompson! This up-and-coming baller just keeps delivering!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, locks down the attacker! Nerves of steel on the defensive end!
Jelly Roll, this versatile guy, hits the cutter perfectly! An off-the-charts basketball IQ right on time!
This all-time great Donald Trump recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Break! Donald Trump grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. They say Donald Trump eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Jynxzi pulls up the leather with flair and hits a pull-up jumper! Sensational!
The building is buzzing! Jynxzi and an electric crowd creating magic!
Jelly Roll pulls up the ball with patience! This player nobody saw coming trusting the system!
From their loaded checkbook to a sky hook, Donald Trump's range is unmatched!
Donald Trump finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a film producer would be proud of!
Jelly Roll and Stephen Curry do celebratory push-ups. Klay Thompson counts out loud. Definitely cheating. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
103-119 (L)
Jynxzi wins the opening tip! Tipping off with youtuber energy!
Donald Trump with a rough fadeaway jumper from way beyond the arc! Lack of consistency at the worst time!
This legit talent Klay Thompson with turnover number points! Injury-prone body is piling up!
Stephen Curry lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this All-Star caliber talent fooled!
Jelly Roll with the teardrop pull-up jumper! Beautiful as a rapper's finest the fiery bars!
The players disappear. Jelly Roll has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Little scoop: Jelly Roll tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Klay Thompson storms to the bench! This well-respected player is visibly upset!
Donald Trump misses the free throw! Greenlighting the risky picture under pressure is easier!
Donald Trump steps back into the right spacing! A gym-rat work ethic and elite court awareness!
Klay Thompson, this mammoth, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Klay Thompson, this giant, trudges off the arena. Lessons to take from this one.
Klay Thompson leaves the court at a jog. Jynxzi stays there, planted at center court, motionless. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
103-100 (W)
This global icon Donald Trump comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper from mid-range!
This all-time great Donald Trump takes the charge driving to the hoop! Gutsy play!
Jynxzi misses badly! Should have aimed like they aim their camera at the algorithm!
A sky hook from Jelly Roll! This guy nobody was talking about reminding everyone why they're on top!
Donald Trump overloads one side! Loading up with film producer strategy!
Intermission. Klay Thompson dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Small detail: Klay Thompson whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. We're back! The players look fired up.
This established player Klay Thompson demands the ball and delivers! After a timeout heroics!
Klay Thompson with the full-court pressure! This player making noise making them uncomfortable!
Standing ovation for Jynxzi! The temple of basketball salutes the youtuber and their their camera!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry hits the biggest shot of the season! At the jump ball!
Klay Thompson can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Donald Trump and Jynxzi freestyle a victory rap. Klay Thompson does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
98-94 (W)
Donald Trump checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Donald Trump forces the step-out-of-bounds! This global icon hawking the ball!
Donald Trump, this once-in-a-lifetime player, with the shot-clock heave! No good at half court!
Jynxzi racks up a layup! Productive night for this youtuber!
Jelly Roll schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true rapper!
Halftime! Donald Trump looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Bus driver's confession: Donald Trump raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Donald Trump, this all-around player, scores the go-ahead! A bucket! Heart of a champion!
This bonafide star Stephen Curry with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, gets the standing ovation! Palpable tension!
Jelly Roll rises up for the game-winner! A hook shot! This diamond in the rough is the moment!
Jynxzi tips their hat! The youtuber salute! Pure class!
Jynxzi performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Jelly Roll imitates it. It's worse. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Jelly Roll. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
100-116 (L)
Stephen Curry, this established star, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Brick! Stephen Curry misfires along the baseline! Hot head at the worst time!
Stephen Curry throws it into the stands! What was that from this bonafide star!
Stephen Curry gets burned on the drive! Limited stamina in lateral movement!
Jelly Roll hits the triple! Three points, three cheers for this rapper turned baller!
Halftime! Jelly Roll has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. They say Jelly Roll eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Jynxzi tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the youtuber will bounce back!
Jynxzi can't buy a bucket! Maybe the algorithm would be easier to aim!
Jynxzi shifts the defense! Moving pieces like a youtuber at work!
Klay Thompson fades away but can't sustain the effort! Lack of consistency emptying the tank!
Stephen Curry walks off in silence. This world-class player gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Stephen Curry refuses the coach's embrace. Klay Thompson accepts it but his body is stiff. Did you know that Klay Thompson practices film producer on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
86-114 (L)
This surprise package Jynxzi opens the scoring! A bank shot! Early advantage!
Stephen Curry blows past the Spalding but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Intercepted! Jelly Roll's pass snatched right out of the air! A rapper would never be that careless!
This dude out of nowhere Jelly Roll caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Donald Trump with a step-back three! The finesse of their loaded checkbook right there on the arena!
Into the tunnel. Klay Thompson grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Confession: Klay Thompson calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Jynxzi mouths off on a strategic timeout! A youtuber venting about the algorithm!
Jynxzi can't buy a bucket! Another miss from the right corner! Frustrating!
Jelly Roll exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with their hot mic acumen!
Klay Thompson is visibly tired! This established player needs a timeout badly!
This franchise cornerstone Donald Trump congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this franchise cornerstone.
Stephen Curry walks head down toward the tunnel. Jelly Roll drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
106-99 (W)
Klay Thompson crosses over onto the floor! The crowd roars for this legit talent!
Klay Thompson attacks at the top of the key and finishes with a buzzer-beater! Too good!
Jynxzi plays the passing angle perfectly! Deflection by this surprise package!
Jelly Roll threads the needle! Beautiful assist from mid-range! Unreal court vision!
Donald Trump, this basketball god, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Freakish explosiveness!
Halftime. Klay Thompson throws his towel on the floor walking in. Little scoop: Klay Thompson tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Jelly Roll hits from downtown! Precision worthy of their hot mic in transition!
The PA announcer can't pronounce Jelly Roll's their hot mic! Comedy at the field house!
Jynxzi dives for the loose ball! Full send from this youtuber!
This rising star Jynxzi has that look in the eyes! Watch out! A gym-rat work ethic!
This unknown gem Jynxzi secures the win with next-level basketball IQ! Another one in the bag!
Jynxzi pretends to plant a flag at center court. Jelly Roll stands at attention. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
82-112 (L)
Jelly Roll, this solid build, is introduced and the arena explodes! This raw talent is in the building!
Jynxzi can't find the range! Their camera has better accuracy than that!
Stephen Curry with the errant pass! This headliner needs to settle down!
Jelly Roll, this do-it-all player, gets dunked on at half court! Poster material!
Donald Trump storms to the bench! Heated! This film producer doesn't handle losing well!
Halftime. Jynxzi is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Rumor has it Jynxzi talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Klay Thompson misses the open look! This next-level player can't believe it! Injury-prone body!
Jynxzi is huffing and puffing! Winded, even a youtuber would call it quits!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted along the baseline!
Donald Trump waves off the play! The authority of a film producer in that gesture!
Klay Thompson had the chances but couldn't convert. This solid pro left wanting.
Jelly Roll shakes Donald Trump's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
95-103 (L)
Jynxzi, this diamond in the rough, draws first blood! A catch-and-shoot triple to start!
Klay Thompson clanks another one off the rim! This player making noise needs to find rhythm!
Stolen from Jynxzi! A youtuber who let it slip through their fingers!
Jynxzi gets posted up and scored on! This rising star overpowered!
A tear drop from downtown by Stephen Curry! This solid build with the long range!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Klay Thompson walks head down toward the tunnel. Little secret: Klay Thompson listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Jelly Roll throws their hands up! Like a rapper when their hot mic breaks!
Stephen Curry explodes but overcooks it! Hot head showing up again!
Stephen Curry spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Jelly Roll stumbles on the play! Stumbling like a rapper over the fiery bars!
This household name Donald Trump tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Jynxzi hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Stephen Curry keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
97-111 (L)
And we're underway! Jelly Roll touches the ball first! This surprise package looks eager!
This up-and-coming baller Klay Thompson whiffs on a step-back three! The crowd groans!
Stephen Curry throws it away! Hot head under pressure from way beyond the arc!
Jelly Roll bites on the fake! Fooled like a rapper by counterfeit the fiery bars!
Klay Thompson scores at will! A deep three under the basket! This hooper's hooper domination!
Heading in. Klay Thompson's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Did you know Klay Thompson started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Stephen Curry lets fly away from the huddle! This All-Star caliber talent in a dark place mentally!
Jelly Roll misfires again! Having the fiery bars-shaped night!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, exploits the mismatch under the basket! Smart play!
Jynxzi finds a second wind! The youtuber engine roars back to life!
Despite the loss, Donald Trump held their own with the risky picture! The film producer fought!
Stephen Curry closes his eyes walking out. Klay Thompson keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
91-121 (L)
Stephen Curry looks dialed in from the start! An off-the-charts basketball IQ preparation showing!
Jelly Roll misfires back to the basket! Even this rising star has off nights!
Sloppy handling by Donald Trump! Greenlighting the risky picture is done with more finesse!
Klay Thompson gives up the back door! Injury-prone body when overplaying!
Jynxzi tallies another one! This youtuber keeps racking them up!
End of the first half. Stephen Curry is beet red but still standing. Anecdote: Stephen Curry once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
This hungry young player Jynxzi can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
This newcomer Jelly Roll with a rare miss from downtown! Even the best stumble!
This rising star Jelly Roll adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Donald Trump is gassed! More tired than after a full day of greenlighting the risky picture!
Jynxzi consoles teammates! The heart of a youtuber in that moment!
Stephen Curry mutters while walking out. Klay Thompson watches from the corner of his eye, worried. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
My Team finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: Klay Thompson.
Season Journal
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby!
Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Klay Thompson! Picture this: standing at 201 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
The chef's surprise of the evening is Donald Trump. A film producer by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the risky picture with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him.
The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
My Team finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: Klay Thompson.
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