My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇸🇬
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Miami Heart-Attack | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Nick Daicos is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. The man is massive, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Harley bye. An australian rules football player. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: an australian rules football player, with sherrin ball, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Harley bye has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses open oval with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
74-118 (L)
Nick Daicos locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of an australian rules football player who means business!
This hidden prospect Harley bye misses the mark! A buzzer beater goes begging driving to the hoop!
Bailey Smith with a wild pass that sails out! This potential breakout star giving it away!
Harley bye bites on the pump fake! This guy nobody was talking about sent flying off the pick and roll!
This rising star Harley bye throws an elbow in frustration! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Well-deserved break. Max Gawn looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Intel: Max Gawn asked Detroit Engine-Roar for their energy drink recipe. They refused. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Nick Daicos, this solid build, gets the separation but can't finish! Heavy feet!
Nic Naitanui is visibly tired! This total unknown needs a timeout badly!
Nic Naitanui throws it away! A pass worse than an australian rules football player tossing the open oval!
Harley bye pulls up the towel! This guy nobody was talking about showing tendency to rush!
Nic Naitanui leaves the arena quietly! Quiet as an australian rules football player after the open oval setback!
Bailey Smith walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Nic Naitanui drags one foot after the other. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
88-133 (L)
The den welcomes Harley bye! The australian rules football player with the open oval has arrived!
Harley bye sends it wide! The sherrin ball wouldn't forgive that either!
Bailey Smith loses the Wilson! An australian rules football player would never be this careless!
Max Gawn caught flat-footed! Standing still, the australian rules football player reflexes took a nap!
Nic Naitanui picks up the second technical! This potential breakout star ejected! Hot head!
Break! Bailey Smith heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Quick anecdote about Bailey Smith: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Harley bye gets the friendly rim but no luck! Even the australian rules football player touch can't save that one!
Harley bye powers through! The australian rules football player in them won't quit on the open oval!
Nick Daicos commits the live-ball turnover! The sherrin ball would be ashamed!
Nick Daicos, this smooth operator, sits down hard on the bench! Injury-prone body written all over his face!
Bailey Smith sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like an australian rules football player after the sherrin ball broke!
Max Gawn whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Nick Daicos nods without conviction. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
73-118 (L)
Nick Daicos starts in the elite shooter! Playing the elite shooter the way an australian rules football player plays with the sherrin ball!
That one wasn't even close, Harley bye! Stick to tackling the open oval!
Nick Daicos gets picked! An australian rules football player getting the open oval stolen in broad daylight!
Bailey Smith loses the screen battle! Occasional mental lapses around the picks!
Nick Daicos throws their hands up! Like an australian rules football player when the sherrin ball breaks!
End of the second quarter. Max Gawn is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Anecdote: Max Gawn once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Max Gawn heaves and misses! Should have heaved the open oval instead!
Nick Daicos takes the rest play! Even an australian rules football player needs a breather!
Max Gawn with the backcourt violation! An australian rules football player going backwards with the open oval!
Max Gawn slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than an australian rules football player hits the workbench!
Max Gawn looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for an australian rules football player!
Nick Daicos sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Bailey Smith has his head in his hands. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
74-118 (L)
Bailey Smith gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like an australian rules football player on day one!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Bailey Smith catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Nic Naitanui botches the handoff! Even the sherrin ball exchanges go smoother!
Nick Daicos gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the open oval on a rough day!
Harley bye dribbles away from the huddle! This newcomer in a dark place mentally!
Halftime! Nic Naitanui has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Did you know? Nic Naitanui has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. We're back! The players look fired up.
Bailey Smith launches from deep and misses! An australian rules football player's range doesn't apply here!
Harley bye misses the rotation! Too tired, like an australian rules football player too tired for the open oval!
Nic Naitanui tries to be too fancy and loses the pill! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the decision-making!
Harley bye vents at their teammates! The australian rules football player who vents about the open oval!
Harley bye takes the loss hard! Hard as the open oval on a bad australian rules football player day!
Harley bye lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Max Gawn holds his in. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
77-122 (L)
Nic Naitanui announces themselves! The australian rules football player has arrived and the building knows it!
A step-back three by Harley bye in transition is way off! Tough night for this newcomer!
Nic Naitanui, this all-around player, steps out of bounds with the Spalding! Mental lapse!
Nic Naitanui overcommits! Going all-in like an australian rules football player on the open oval, but wrong!
Max Gawn launches angrily after the turnover! This hungry young player spiraling!
Halftime whistle. Harley bye has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Juicy intel: Harley bye turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Nic Naitanui, this smooth operator, wastes a golden chance with a wild buzzer beater!
Nick Daicos finds a second wind! The australian rules football player engine roars back to life!
Turnover by Harley bye! Tackling the open oval requires less coordination, clearly!
Nick Daicos sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like an australian rules football player after a long shift!
Nick Daicos absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, an australian rules football player knows tough days!
Bailey Smith pulls his cap down over his eyes. Nic Naitanui doesn't have a cap, and it shows. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
74-119 (L)
This potential breakout star Harley bye opens the scoring! A buzzer beater! Early advantage!
Nic Naitanui fires a reverse layup in transition but can't connect! Tendency to rush showing!
Nic Naitanui loses possession! The open oval never leaves an australian rules football player's hands like that!
Bailey Smith, this versatile guy, gets blown by on the perimeter! Injury-prone body in the legs!
Nick Daicos pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The australian rules football player in them is showing!
Break! Harley bye rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Word is Harley bye sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Harley bye launches but overcooks it! Injury-prone body showing up again!
Nic Naitanui is cramping up! This rising star trying to shake it off! Occasional mental lapses!
Stolen from Max Gawn! An australian rules football player who let it slip through their fingers!
This dude out of nowhere Harley bye fouls hard out of frustration! Tendency to force bad shots showing!
This newcomer Nic Naitanui congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this newcomer.
Max Gawn stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Nick Daicos comes back to get him. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
73-117 (L)
Nick Daicos fades away with energy from the opening whistle! This newcomer locked in!
Harley bye clanks it off the rim! That sounded like the sherrin ball hitting the open oval!
Bailey Smith turns it over in the restricted area! Butterfingers from this australian rules football player!
Bailey Smith gets blown by! Even an australian rules football player couldn't stop that!
Harley bye waves off the play! The authority of an australian rules football player in that gesture!
Halftime whistle. Nic Naitanui flops into the first available chair. Juicy anecdote: Nic Naitanui was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
This potential breakout star Nick Daicos with a rare miss along the baseline! Even the best stumble!
Bailey Smith tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like an australian rules football player's energy for the open oval!
This who-is-this-guy player Max Gawn with turnover number lengths ahead! Injury-prone body is piling up!
Nick Daicos can't hide the frustration! The sherrin ball frustration meets the ball frustration!
Max Gawn fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the australian rules football player gave everything!
Max Gawn takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Nic Naitanui doesn't drink. Throat too tight. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
89-134 (L)
And we're underway! Max Gawn touches the damn ball first! This potential breakout star looks eager!
Nic Naitanui, this potential breakout star, comes up empty! A hook shot off target from downtown!
Nick Daicos throws it into the stands! What was that from this hidden prospect!
Max Gawn, this versatile guy, lets the shooter get free from mid-range! Costly lapse!
Nic Naitanui, this newcomer, yells at the coaching staff! Hot head causing friction!
That's a cut. Nick Daicos stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Anecdote: Nick Daicos once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Harley bye misses! Even an australian rules football player can't fix that shot!
This unknown gem Bailey Smith signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Hot head!
Intercepted! Harley bye's pass snatched right out of the air! An australian rules football player would never be that careless!
Nic Naitanui storms to the bench! Heated! This australian rules football player doesn't handle losing well!
Nick Daicos shakes hands through the pain! An australian rules football player who respects the sherrin ball and the game!
Harley bye sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Bailey Smith winces. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
90-134 (L)
Bailey Smith steps onto the gym! From tackling the open oval to this, game time!
The rim rejects Harley bye! The rim says no! Even an australian rules football player gets rejected sometimes!
Max Gawn dishes into a trap! Lack of consistency when reading the defense!
This guy nobody was talking about Nick Daicos bites on the fake! Beaten along the baseline!
Nick Daicos, this do-it-all player, shows negative body language! Limited stamina creeping in!
Halftime! Bailey Smith is limping slightly heading off the court. Fun fact: Bailey Smith blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
A double-clutch layup from Bailey Smith goes in and out! Heartbreaking in the paint!
Nic Naitanui grimaces through the effort! The grimace of an australian rules football player finishing the open oval!
Nick Daicos double-dribbles! Tackling the open oval doesn't have that rule!
This who-is-this-guy player Bailey Smith slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Max Gawn, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite natural-born leadership effort.
Nic Naitanui lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Harley bye holds his in. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
89-134 (L)
Harley bye begins their shift on the court! An australian rules football player starting the sherrin ball shift!
Max Gawn can't hit from the paint! That zone is cursed for this australian rules football player!
Max Gawn forces the pass! Forcing the sherrin ball where it doesn't fit!
This unknown gem Bailey Smith misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
Bailey Smith, this versatile guy, waves off the play call! Tendency to rush hurting the team!
End of the first half. Max Gawn is beet red but still standing. Confession: Max Gawn calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Air ball from Max Gawn! Being an australian rules football player doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Nic Naitanui waves for a timeout! The australian rules football player needs the open oval break!
Harley bye coughs up the Wilson! Hot head strikes again from way beyond the arc!
Nic Naitanui stares in disbelief! The look of an australian rules football player who just lost everything!
Max Gawn walks off in defeat! Even an australian rules football player's skills couldn't save tonight!
Harley bye walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Max Gawn drags one foot after the other. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
90-134 (L)
Max Gawn looks dialed in from the start! An off-the-charts basketball IQ preparation showing!
Nic Naitanui air-mails a half-court heave back to the basket! Way off for this who-is-this-guy player!
This guy nobody was talking about Nick Daicos gets pickpocketed at the top of the key! Sloppy handling!
Max Gawn gets posted up and scored on! This total unknown overpowered!
Harley bye, this all-around player, pounds the scorer's table! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Halftime. Bailey Smith is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Intel: Bailey Smith asked New York Over-Timers for their energy drink recipe. They refused. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Bailey Smith, this do-it-all player, gets the look at the top of the key but the lid's on the rim!
Nick Daicos, this versatile guy, looks exhausted from downtown! The legs are gone!
Nick Daicos throws it away! Limited stamina under pressure along the baseline!
Harley bye walks away muttering! Muttering about the open oval under their breath!
Max Gawn had the chances but couldn't convert. This diamond in the rough left wanting.
Max Gawn's complexion is grey. Bailey Smith's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
76-120 (L)
Max Gawn takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Harley bye can't convert! The australian rules football player's touch with the open oval deserted them!
Harley bye, this versatile guy, gets stripped back to the basket! Limited stamina exposed!
Nick Daicos can't contain the drive! Tackling the open oval is more containable!
Nick Daicos, this raw talent, with the frustrated foul! Defense that's basically a suggestion in tough moments!
Halftime. Max Gawn is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Bus driver's confession: Max Gawn raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Harley bye, this tweener, gets the look but can't convert at the buzzer!
Max Gawn is dead on their feet! Running on fumes, the australian rules football player is spent!
Max Gawn with the errant pass! This dark horse needs to settle down!
Nick Daicos shakes their head! An australian rules football player who can't believe that just happened!
Nic Naitanui refuses to make excuses! An australian rules football player owns the open oval failures too!
Nick Daicos and Bailey Smith share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
77-122 (L)
Nic Naitanui, this rising star, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Nic Naitanui, this rising star, with the shot-clock heave! No good under the basket!
Harley bye, this do-it-all player, gets the ball poked away! Sometimes predictable game when protecting the basketball!
Nic Naitanui watches them score! Just watching, like watching the sherrin ball gather dust!
Nick Daicos argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to tackling the open oval!
First half is done. Nick Daicos is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Rumor has it Nick Daicos talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Bailey Smith forces a bad off-balance shot! This who-is-this-guy player needs to trust teammates!
Harley bye grabs the jersey for air! Needs more air than the sherrin ball in the workshop!
Max Gawn with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost australian rules football player!
Nick Daicos slams the basketball in frustration! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Harley bye walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to australian rules football player life tomorrow!
Harley bye closes his eyes walking out. Nic Naitanui keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
89-133 (L)
The game begins and Nick Daicos is ready! You can see iron discipline written all over his face!
Max Gawn bricks it! Not the same accuracy as tackling the open oval!
Bailey Smith, this solid build, fumbles the entry pass driving to the hoop!
Max Gawn, this versatile guy, gets dunked on driving to the hoop! Poster material!
Nick Daicos, this raw talent, refuses to high-five! Tendency to rush hurting the chemistry!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Harley bye asks for an ice pack. Exclusive info: Harley bye is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Max Gawn misfires facing the rim! Even this surprise package has off nights!
Nick Daicos can barely run! This ball game harder than this ball game of tackling the open oval!
Nick Daicos dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the australian rules football player's finest moment!
This dude out of nowhere Max Gawn can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Nic Naitanui, this potential breakout star, takes the loss hard. Tendency to rush at the wrong moments.
Max Gawn hurls his water bottle at the wall. Bailey Smith flinches but doesn't react. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
75-120 (L)
Harley bye stretches center court! Loosening up, the australian rules football player is getting ready!
Max Gawn, this solid build, can't get a tear drop to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
This hidden prospect Nic Naitanui commits the 5-second violation! Clock management limited stamina!
Harley bye beaten to the spot! Slower than an australian rules football player on a Monday morning!
Bailey Smith tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the australian rules football player will bounce back!
Time to breathe. Nic Naitanui has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Fun fact: Nic Naitanui failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Nic Naitanui fires and misses from way beyond the arc. Should have stuck with the open oval!
Nic Naitanui misses from fatigue! Tired arms from tackling the open oval all week!
Nick Daicos gets the ball stripped! The open oval would have stayed in an australian rules football player's grip!
Bailey Smith mutters to himself walking back! This dude out of nowhere fighting inner demons!
Bailey Smith, this versatile guy, trudges off the den. Lessons to take from this one.
Nick Daicos rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Nic Naitanui picks up his own and folds it carefully. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Nick Daicos.
Season journal
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