The salary cap is impossible — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | The salary cap is impossible | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... The salary cap is impossible! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Pau Gasol on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 215 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
93-124 (L)
Tip-off! Lisa Leslie gets us started! Let's go!
Kobe Bryant forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
Lisa Leslie throws it into the stands! What was that from this player on the come-up!
Robert Horry reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Robert Horry pulls up and drills a catch-and-shoot triple! Can't teach that!
Halftime. Pau Gasol is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Little scoop: Pau Gasol collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Lisa Leslie, this seasoned vet, with the frustrated foul! Limited stamina in tough moments!
Pau Gasol misses the open look! This reliable star can't believe it! Hot head!
Derek Fisher, this tweener, sets a brick-wall screen! A killer instinct on full display!
Pau Gasol, this jersey-selling name, sucking wind after that sprint! The 4 periods of 12 minutes of battle!
This franchise guy Pau Gasol stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this franchise guy wanted.
Robert Horry snaps at the bench on his way out. Lisa Leslie says nothing, but her look says everything. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
125-87 (W)
This solid pro Derek Fisher gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Kobe Bryant, this giant, elevates for a monster floater!
This generational talent Kobe Bryant leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
Kobe Bryant strings together a double-clutch layup under the basket. A gym-rat work ethic on full display!
Pau Gasol strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
Halftime! Pau Gasol looks in the mirror and shakes his head. I've been told Pau Gasol always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Pau Gasol knocks down a buzzer-beater driving to the hoop! Ice in the veins!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant takes a bow! A slide across the hardwood! This was clinical!
Pau Gasol, this titan, accidentally passes to the ref! Nice assist this established star!
This respected competitor Robert Horry raises the arms in triumph! A fist pump toward the bench! The crowd follows!
That's the game! Lisa Leslie finishes with a monster performance! This name that's buzzing victorious!
Derek Fisher climbs onto the scorer's table. Robert Horry joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
111-90 (W)
Pau Gasol, this long boy, takes the court! The roaring arena is electric!
Pau Gasol, this franchise guy, operates at the top of the key with an and-one! Clinic!
Pau Gasol times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A clutch steal in transition!
Robert Horry drives and creates! Another assist under the basket! Quarterback!
This name that's buzzing Lisa Leslie calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Break. Lisa Leslie's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Locker room intel: Lisa Leslie has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on her butt. That's commitment. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Robert Horry crosses over the orange beautifully for a half-court heave! What touch!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kobe Bryant turns the hostile crowd into stunned silence!
This generational talent Kobe Bryant defers to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant silences the noise! Ridiculous creativity locked in! Nothing else matters!
Final buzzer! Derek Fisher is the hero! This hooper's hooper with a game for the ages!
Kobe Bryant cries tears of joy in Robert Horry's arms. Derek Fisher is also crying but nobody knows why. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
107-101 (W)
Robert Horry, this beanpole, is introduced and the arena explodes! This league veteran is in the building!
Pau Gasol lets fly to the rack for a fadeaway jumper! Can't contain this tree of a man!
Lisa Leslie, this dude putting the league on notice, clamps down on the star player! An off-the-charts basketball IQ on the assignment!
Derek Fisher threads the needle! Beautiful assist at half court! Unreal court vision!
Pau Gasol pulls up the ball out of the trap! Night-in night-out consistency under pressure!
That's a wrap for now. Robert Horry dives into the tunnel. Fun fact: Robert Horry is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Pau Gasol with the tough free throw through contact! This world-class player won't be denied!
Derek Fisher, this league veteran, waves the crowd up! An incredible energy rising!
Robert Horry sprints back on defense! This guy with a proven track record leading by example!
Lisa Leslie, this 7-footer, evolves before our eyes! A dramatic twist!
This guy with rings on every finger Kobe Bryant led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Robert Horry blows a kiss to the camera. Lisa Leslie blows twelve. Pau Gasol blocks the lens. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
132-90 (W)
Robert Horry opens with a fadeaway jumper! This next-level player making an early statement!
A deep three by Robert Horry! The building is rocking! This league veteran takeover!
This franchise guy Pau Gasol zips the pass through! Another dime from this beanpole!
Derek Fisher explodes past everyone for a step-back three! This smooth operator on a mission!
Pau Gasol a clutch steal and starts the fast break! Defense wins championships!
The locker room fills up. Kobe Bryant has already eaten three oranges. Confession: Kobe Bryant believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Kobe Bryant lets fly the basketball into a devastating dunk! Unreal swagger shining through!
Kobe Bryant, this hall-of-fame lock, wraps it up with a flourish! Total destruction!
Robert Horry, this walking skyscraper, steps on the teammate's foot! Down goes this respected competitor!
Lisa Leslie drives and pounds the chest! A chest bump! Warrior mentality!
Kobe Bryant, this titan, celebrates the win! A raised fist! What a game!
Robert Horry grabs the PA announcer's mic and shouts Kobe Bryant's name. The announcer chases him. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
107-87 (W)
Lisa Leslie, this solid pro, embraces the standing ovation! Game on!
A thunderous slam from Robert Horry! This guy with a proven track record reminding everyone why they're on top!
This name that's buzzing Lisa Leslie with the volleyball spike a crucial offensive board! Emphatic!
This bonafide star Pau Gasol orchestrates the offense under the basket! Maestro!
Derek Fisher, this smooth operator, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Heading in. Lisa Leslie's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Intel: Lisa Leslie once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Pau Gasol shoots past the defense for a floater! Size advantage from this this beanpole!
Deafening noise! Robert Horry shoots and the building shakes!
Robert Horry shoots the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Pau Gasol goes to work into the record books! This guy everybody knows making memories!
Pau Gasol daps up the opponent! Respect from this top-tier talent after the battle!
Robert Horry grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Derek Fisher applauds. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
132-93 (W)
The game begins and Robert Horry is ready! You can see scary good handles written all over his face!
This certified bucket Pau Gasol goes to work from the right corner! A reverse layup drops beautifully!
Lisa Leslie shoots and finds the trailer for a free throw! Great awareness!
Pau Gasol takes off the ball with scary good handles. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Derek Fisher, this versatile guy, alters the shot! Unreal swagger at the rim!
Halftime! Lisa Leslie looks in the mirror and shakes her head. Little scoop: Lisa Leslie collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than her first contract. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
This legit talent Derek Fisher converts in transition! An alley-oop right on cue!
Kobe Bryant, this franchise cornerstone, with the dagger and then some! A hook shot!
Kobe Bryant takes off and the Wilson goes into the stands! Free souvenir!
Lisa Leslie, this giant, does the shimmy! A chest bump! The arena goes crazy!
This name that's buzzing Robert Horry is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Derek Fisher and Kobe Bryant play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Derek Fisher loses. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
123-91 (W)
This global icon Kobe Bryant in the starting lineup! Let's see what this global icon brings!
Derek Fisher with the decisive buzzer beater! An unmatched feel for the game when it matters most!
Robert Horry with the huge double team at the top of the key! This established player says no!
Kobe Bryant with the transition assist! This once-in-a-lifetime player pushing the pace with eyes in the back of the head!
Pau Gasol steps back with purpose every possession! This jersey-selling name chess master!
Back in the locker room, Lisa Leslie sits down and stares at the ceiling. Did you know? Lisa Leslie launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Kobe Bryant, this potential GOAT, absolutely nails a catch-and-shoot triple from the right corner! Take a bow!
This big-name player Pau Gasol gets the crowd into it! An electric crowd at fever pitch!
Derek Fisher, this smooth operator, sets the perfect screen! Freakish explosiveness for the team!
This respected competitor Robert Horry is living their best moment right now from the right corner!
Derek Fisher, this up-and-coming baller, with the post-game interview smile! Eyes in the back of the head all night!
Kobe Bryant throws chalk powder like LeBron. Derek Fisher coughs for two minutes straight. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Derek Fisher. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
124-78 (W)
Robert Horry, this mammoth, sets the tone immediately! Freakish explosiveness from the jump!
Lisa Leslie, this solid pro, drops a bucket at the top of the key! Pure artistry!
Lisa Leslie with the touch pass! This hooper's hooper barely had the leather and found the man!
Robert Horry, this name that's buzzing, threads the needle for a hook shot in transition!
Derek Fisher, this all-around player, contests everything at the buzzer! Eyes in the back of the head on full display!
Break! Pau Gasol grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know Pau Gasol knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Houston Blast-Off's colors. By accident, obviously. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Kobe Bryant, this titan, showcases that dawg mentality with a gorgeous finger roll!
This elite player Pau Gasol finishes with a statement game! A gym-rat work ethic throughout!
This first-ballot legend Kobe Bryant accidentally dunks on the wrong basket! Confusion!
Pau Gasol blows past to center court! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This jersey-selling name owns the moment!
This up-and-coming baller Lisa Leslie seals the deal! Victory with that dawg mentality!
Kobe Bryant grabs the PA announcer's mic and shouts Derek Fisher's name. The announcer chases him. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
110-112 (L)
Derek Fisher, this solid build, announced to huge cheers! A Playoff atmosphere!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kobe Bryant with a picture-perfect free throw! The crowd goes wild!
Lisa Leslie gives up the back door! Lack of consistency when overplaying!
A bank shot from Kobe Bryant catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Derek Fisher dunks with desperation and skill! This guy with a proven track record not done yet!
The locker room fills up. Lisa Leslie has already eaten three oranges. Anecdote: Lisa Leslie threw up before her first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Pau Gasol forces the hero ball and misses! This top-tier talent with defense that's basically a suggestion!
Kobe Bryant slams the leather in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Lisa Leslie, this giant, sets the tone with natural-born leadership! Leader!
Robert Horry misses in the clutch! A catch-and-shoot triple off the mark in the first half!
Lisa Leslie blows past to the tunnel in disappointment. This player on the come-up will learn from this.
Kobe Bryant's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Pau Gasol breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
119-89 (W)
Pau Gasol lets fly with energy from the opening whistle! This jersey-selling name locked in!
This All-Star caliber talent Pau Gasol is automatic back to the basket! A scoop layup drops again!
Derek Fisher blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Kobe Bryant with the no-look pass! This certified GOAT candidate has eyes in the back of the head!
Lisa Leslie, this titan, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Natural-born leadership!
End of the first act. Derek Fisher is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Anecdote: Derek Fisher fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Lisa Leslie shoots through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
The fans sense it coming! The energy is building as Pau Gasol gets hot!
This multi-time All-Star Pau Gasol unites the locker room! Unreal swagger captain's mentality!
Kobe Bryant, this certified GOAT candidate, answers every challenge! A gym-rat work ethic never fading!
Derek Fisher goes to work into the tunnel with the W! This seasoned vet all smiles!
Robert Horry and Derek Fisher leap onto each other like kids. Pau Gasol comes sprinting in and crushes them both. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
99-94 (W)
This legit talent Robert Horry comes out aggressive! Opens with a euro-step driving to the hoop!
Lisa Leslie converts a tough sky hook from the right corner! Skill level: elite!
Lisa Leslie forces the step-out-of-bounds! This respected competitor hawking the ball!
Kobe Bryant launches into the lane and kicks out! Nerves of steel and great decision-making!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Break! Lisa Leslie has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Locker room anecdote: Lisa Leslie talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Kobe Bryant, this beanpole, glides to from mid-range for a silky off-balance shot!
Kobe Bryant, this walking skyscraper, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
This player making noise Derek Fisher tips it to the teammate! Freakish explosiveness on full display!
Kobe Bryant is writing the story tonight! This generational talent with a deep three at the top of the key!
Robert Horry rises up off the court victorious! This guy with a proven track record leaves it all out there!
Pau Gasol and Robert Horry run circles around Lisa Leslie who doesn't move. Zen. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
96-94 (W)
Pau Gasol takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
This well-respected player Robert Horry comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
Pau Gasol launches a pull-up jumper and... Airball! Ego the size of Texas at its peak!
This headliner Pau Gasol with a vintage sky hook! The old magic is still there!
Pau Gasol makes the hockey pass! An unmatched feel for the game finding the extra pass!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Lisa Leslie walks head down toward the tunnel. Small detail: Lisa Leslie whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Pau Gasol, this absolute unit, muscles through for a euro-step in the second quarter!
This guy everybody knows Pau Gasol disrupts the play with a timely flawless defensive rotation!
Pau Gasol, this 7-footer, basks in a hostile crowd! This is home!
Kobe Bryant hits nothing but net! A deep three in the final quarter! Next-level basketball IQ!
Robert Horry, this player making noise, embraces the teammates! A raised fist! Sweet victory!
Lisa Leslie improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Robert Horry plays the imaginary violin. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
111-88 (W)
Robert Horry, this well-respected player, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Lisa Leslie with the highlight-reel scoop layup! This guy with a proven track record owning the moment!
Robert Horry with the help-side crucial offensive board! This solid pro always in position!
This player on the come-up Derek Fisher with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Kobe Bryant spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
The players disappear. Lisa Leslie has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: Lisa Leslie fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Derek Fisher goes coast to coast for an alley-oop! This name that's buzzing is relentless!
The arena trembles! Lisa Leslie with the play and an electric crowd follows!
Derek Fisher finds the open teammate! This dude putting the league on notice making everyone better!
The stadium knows it! Derek Fisher is special! This next-level player writing legacy!
This established player Robert Horry secures the win with that dawg mentality! Another one in the bag!
Pau Gasol dumps his Gatorade on Derek Fisher who screams because it was cold. Lisa Leslie piles on. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
127-98 (W)
And we're underway! Lisa Leslie touches the damn ball first! This next-level player looks eager!
Kobe Bryant with the smooth pull-up jumper! This undisputed superstar making it look easy!
Derek Fisher slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Iron discipline in every step!
Robert Horry with the bounce pass! This established player threading it perfectly!
This solid pro Robert Horry adjusts the angle mid-drive! Unreal swagger body control!
Intermission. Derek Fisher dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Rumor has it Derek Fisher tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
A layup from Lisa Leslie from the right corner! That's a certified bucket-getter!
This living legend Kobe Bryant brings palpable tension to a new level! Incredible scene!
Derek Fisher takes the blame for the mistake! This guy with a proven track record protecting teammates!
This game belongs to Robert Horry! This next-level player stamping authority at the buzzer!
Pau Gasol hugs the coach! This All-Star caliber talent with a complete performance!
Lisa Leslie takes Robert Horry by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. Tonight I had a revelation: Robert Horry runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
The salary cap is impossible finishes #2, a fantastic season! 13W-2L. Season MVP: Pau Gasol.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... The salary cap is impossible!
Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Pau Gasol on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 215 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them.
But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.
The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
The salary cap is impossible finishes #2, a fantastic season! 13W-2L. Season MVP: Pau Gasol.
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