My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇵🇭
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | My Team | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Tyrese Haliburton on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 196 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The budget, let's talk about it. Or actually, let's not, because it'll make you dizzy. We're beyond the luxury tax, beyond the second apron, we're in a zone that even the league's tax accountants struggle to calculate. The owner burns cash like others burn firewood, and he doesn't bat an eye. Every season this team doesn't win the title is a financial scandal. The pressure is absolute, the talent is maximal, and the margin for error is zero. Welcome to the world of superteams, where failure isn't an option, it's a public humiliation.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
93-124 (L)
Tip-off! Jalen Duren gets us started! Let's go!
Anthony Edwards forces up a double-clutch layup over the defense! Shaky emotions under pressure! Bad decision!
Jalen Duren throws it into the stands! What was that from this total unknown!
Justin Brownlee reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Justin Brownlee pulls up and drills a catch-and-shoot triple! Can't teach that!
Halftime. Kai Sotto throws his towel on the floor walking in. Did you know Kai Sotto keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Jalen Duren, this diamond in the rough, with the frustrated foul! Limited stamina in tough moments!
Kai Sotto misses the open look! This who-is-this-guy player can't believe it! Hot head!
Tyrese Haliburton, this beanpole, sets a brick-wall screen! A killer instinct on full display!
Kai Sotto, this newcomer, sucking wind after that sprint! The 4 periods of 12 minutes of battle!
This surprise package Kai Sotto stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this surprise package wanted.
Kai Sotto unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Jalen Duren runs a hand down his face. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
114-89 (W)
Anthony Edwards, this giant, announced to huge cheers! A cathedral silence!
Justin Brownlee goes coast to coast for a double-clutch layup! This hidden prospect is relentless!
This rising star Jalen Duren with a critical stop! A commanding rebound when it counts!
Kai Sotto, this towering presence, runs the offense with that dawg mentality! Beautiful passing!
This dark horse Kai Sotto adjusts the angle mid-drive! Silky smooth technique body control!
Halftime whistle. Tyrese Haliburton has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Small detail: Tyrese Haliburton wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Jalen Duren dishes the Wilson with eyes in the back of the head. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
The crowd is on its feet! A hostile crowd as Jalen Duren takes the court!
Anthony Edwards, this big fella, anchors the second unit! This player making noise versatile contributor!
Justin Brownlee, this who-is-this-guy player, has been building to this all game! After a timeout!
This unknown gem Jalen Duren led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Justin Brownlee and Tyrese Haliburton leap onto each other like kids. Kai Sotto comes sprinting in and crushes them both. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
120-76 (W)
This guy nobody was talking about Jalen Duren means business! Fast start driving to the hoop!
Justin Brownlee, this towering presence, takes over from way beyond the arc. A pull-up jumper! That's elite!
Kai Sotto, this colossus, drops the dime! Next-level basketball IQ passing on display!
A double-clutch layup from Tyrese Haliburton! This guy with a proven track record reminding everyone why they're on top!
Justin Brownlee, this big fella, contests everything at half court! That dawg mentality on full display!
Break! Justin Brownlee rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Intel: Justin Brownlee refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Tyrese Haliburton, this giant, dominates at the top of the key and puts up a fadeaway jumper! Unstoppable!
Justin Brownlee, this guy nobody was talking about, wraps it up with a flourish! Total destruction!
Tyrese Haliburton, this mountain of a man, flexes after a missed shot! This league veteran keeping it positive!
Justin Brownlee, this giant, does the shimmy! A chest bump! The arena goes crazy!
This player making noise Anthony Edwards secures the win with night-in night-out consistency! Another one in the bag!
Tyrese Haliburton and Kai Sotto freestyle a victory rap. Anthony Edwards does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
120-89 (W)
Jalen Duren, this total unknown, embraces the wild stands! Game on!
This guy nobody was talking about Kai Sotto converts at the buzzer! A tear drop right on cue!
Anthony Edwards times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A brilliant anticipation in transition!
Jalen Duren, this tree of a man, finds the trailer! An and-one off the assist, easy money!
Justin Brownlee, this guy nobody was talking about, manipulates the defense with the eyes! An off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Break! Kai Sotto grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Anecdote: Kai Sotto lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Kai Sotto, this tree of a man, muscles in for a sky hook! Pure power!
Jalen Duren, this walking skyscraper, gets the standing ovation! Wild stands!
Jalen Duren, this towering presence, boxes out for the teammate! This hungry young player doing the dirty work!
Anthony Edwards penetrates with purpose! Insane court vision driving this team forward!
This potential breakout star Kai Sotto is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Kai Sotto does a handstand. Tyrese Haliburton holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
130-84 (W)
This guy nobody was talking about Jalen Duren catches the pill early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Justin Brownlee shoots the Wilson into an and-one! A killer instinct shining through!
Justin Brownlee with the no-look pass! This newcomer has eyes in the back of the head!
An off-balance shot by Anthony Edwards! The building is rocking! This hooper's hooper takeover!
Jalen Duren with the huge brilliant anticipation from mid-range! This unknown gem says no!
Break time. Justin Brownlee bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Anecdote of the day: Justin Brownlee forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
This player nobody saw coming Jalen Duren goes to work from downtown! A deep three drops beautifully!
Tyrese Haliburton, this big fella, caps off a dominant performance! Natural-born leadership from start to finish!
Anthony Edwards, this titan, tries the spin move and gets dizzy! This legit talent wobbling!
This dude out of nowhere Justin Brownlee stares down the bench! A primal scream after the big play!
Kai Sotto tosses the ball in the air! A slide across the hardwood! This hungry young player mission accomplished!
Tyrese Haliburton runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
120-82 (W)
Game time! Anthony Edwards and this hooper's hooper ready to put on a show at the temple of basketball!
This who-is-this-guy player Jalen Duren does it again! A step-back three with effortless precision!
This potential breakout star Jalen Duren with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Kai Sotto, this hidden prospect, drills another sky hook back to the basket! Automatic!
This player on the come-up Tyrese Haliburton holds ground under the basket! Immovable object!
The players head in. Jalen Duren slips on the wet tunnel floor. True story: Jalen Duren had his parking spot stolen by Los Angeles Nursing-Home's mascot. Still talks about it. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Jalen Duren knocks down an and-one on the low block! Ice in the veins!
Tyrese Haliburton goes to work without breaking a sweat! This next-level player cruise control!
Kai Sotto asks the scorer's table for the score! This unknown gem forgot!
Tyrese Haliburton, this tower, chest bumps the teammate! A victory dance! Pure joy!
Kai Sotto, this potential breakout star, points to the crowd! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This was for the fans!
Kai Sotto and Anthony Edwards lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. I learned backstage that Tyrese Haliburton also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
106-96 (W)
Tyrese Haliburton, this mammoth, sets the tone immediately! Pure God-given talent from the jump!
This player on the come-up Anthony Edwards capitalizes on the low block! An and-one with pure God-given talent!
Kai Sotto blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Jalen Duren, this 7-footer, finds the rolling big man! An off-balance shot off the assist!
Kai Sotto identifies the soft spot in the zone! This surprise package surgical precision!
Halftime! Anthony Edwards has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Anecdote: Anthony Edwards once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
A layup by Justin Brownlee at the top of the key! Silky smooth technique in every fiber!
Tyrese Haliburton, this towering presence, commands palpable tension! The arena belongs to this guy with a proven track record!
Justin Brownlee sprints back on defense! This total unknown leading by example!
Tyrese Haliburton overcomes the early struggles! This name that's buzzing rising like a phoenix!
Jalen Duren, this mountain of a man, celebrates the win! A hug with the coach! What a game!
Justin Brownlee grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Jalen Duren applauds. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
115-90 (W)
Tyrese Haliburton takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Justin Brownlee with the tough catch-and-shoot triple through contact! This hidden prospect won't be denied!
Justin Brownlee a double team with authority! This tower protecting the paint!
Tyrese Haliburton with the touch pass! This hooper's hooper barely had the basketball and found the man!
Kai Sotto uses the hesitation dribble! Night-in night-out consistency creating separation!
Players head to the locker room. Anthony Edwards has tape on three fingers. Anecdote: Anthony Edwards once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. We're back! The players look fired up.
Tyrese Haliburton buries a euro-step facing the rim! This respected competitor is on fire tonight!
This hungry young player Justin Brownlee has the arena rocking! Immense pressure off the charts!
Anthony Edwards, this established player, rotates on defense! Night-in night-out consistency team commitment!
Jalen Duren, this guy nobody was talking about, has the intangibles! Scary good handles beyond the stats!
Jalen Duren attacks into the tunnel with the W! This newcomer all smiles!
Justin Brownlee drops to his knees and kisses the court. Anthony Edwards pretends to gag. Tonight I learned Justin Brownlee used to be a volunteer firefighter before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
118-91 (W)
Anthony Edwards, this player on the come-up, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
A thunderous slam from Anthony Edwards at the buzzer! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Jalen Duren, this oversized freak, blankets the shooter at half court! No daylight!
Anthony Edwards spins into the lane and kicks out! Scary good handles and great decision-making!
Justin Brownlee takes off the ball out of the trap! A gym-rat work ethic under pressure!
Break! Kai Sotto takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. They say Kai Sotto eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
This solid pro Anthony Edwards with a picture-perfect finger roll! The crowd goes wild!
The arena is electric! This hungry young player Justin Brownlee thriving in a crowd fully behind them!
This hidden prospect Justin Brownlee celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Jalen Duren has found another gear! This hungry young player shifting into overdrive!
This dark horse Kai Sotto raises the arms! The win is in the books! A fist pump toward the bench!
Anthony Edwards moonwalks across the hardwood. Justin Brownlee attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. Tonight I had a revelation: Justin Brownlee runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
124-89 (W)
Justin Brownlee, this mammoth, takes the court! The Finals-like atmosphere is electric!
Kai Sotto with another scoop layup! You can't stop this man!
Kai Sotto steps back and finds the trailer for a scoop layup! Great awareness!
Jalen Duren answers back with a layup! A killer instinct under pressure!
Jalen Duren draws the offensive foul! Smart play, great positioning!
Back in the locker room, Justin Brownlee sits down and stares at the ceiling. Did you know Justin Brownlee knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Denver Horse-Track's colors. By accident, obviously. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Anthony Edwards drives the orange with flair and hits a tear drop! Sensational!
Tyrese Haliburton piles it on! A floater extends the lead! No mercy tonight!
Justin Brownlee, this beanpole, steps on the teammate's foot! Down goes this hidden prospect!
Tyrese Haliburton pumps the fist! This legit talent feeling it in the paint! A hug with the coach!
Justin Brownlee drives off the court victorious! This hungry young player leaves it all out there!
Kai Sotto and Justin Brownlee attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. Jalen Duren films the whole thing. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
109-84 (W)
Justin Brownlee opens with a buzzer beater! This diamond in the rough making an early statement!
This league veteran Tyrese Haliburton punishes the defense with a floater from mid-range!
This seasoned vet Anthony Edwards with the volleyball spike a surgical steal! Emphatic!
Jalen Duren with the alley-oop pass! This beanpole throws it up, teammate throws it down!
Tyrese Haliburton, this tree of a man, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Tyrese Haliburton to massage his thighs. The staff told me Tyrese Haliburton sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Tyrese Haliburton, this legit talent, drops a finger roll facing the rim! Pure artistry!
You can feel an incredible energy through the screen! Justin Brownlee in the spotlight!
Kai Sotto posts up the leather with patience! This hungry young player trusting the system!
This up-and-coming baller Anthony Edwards embraces the pressure! This is what greatness looks like!
Kai Sotto rises up in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Justin Brownlee rips the net off the rim. Tyrese Haliburton wraps it around his neck like a scarf. I learned backstage that Tyrese Haliburton also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
121-87 (W)
This who-is-this-guy player Jalen Duren comes out aggressive! Opens with a bucket on the low block!
Tyrese Haliburton, this long boy, with a silky euro-step in transition! Smooth operator!
Tyrese Haliburton, this name that's buzzing, sets the table from the left corner! Assist master!
Tyrese Haliburton, this seasoned vet, operates driving to the hoop with a euro-step! Clinic!
Jalen Duren, this tower, recovers and contests! Never-give-up effort fueled by pure God-given talent!
Halftime whistle. Jalen Duren flops into the first available chair. True story: Jalen Duren had his parking spot stolen by Cleveland Twin-Towers's mascot. Still talks about it. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
A two-handed slam from Tyrese Haliburton! This league veteran is putting on a show tonight!
Anthony Edwards dunks with confidence! The game is well in hand for this name that's buzzing!
Anthony Edwards, this next-level player, slips on a wet spot! Ice skating driving to the hoop!
Anthony Edwards, this league veteran, cups the ear to the crowd! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! They want more!
Kai Sotto, this towering presence, takes the final bow! A salute to the fans! Dominant display!
Jalen Duren moonwalks across the hardwood. Kai Sotto attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Jalen Duren's name. Forgive me. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
118-102 (W)
This unknown gem Jalen Duren gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Kai Sotto strings together a pull-up jumper from the right corner. Natural-born leadership on full display!
Jalen Duren, this total unknown, pokes the Wilson free! Scramble in transition!
Justin Brownlee, this rising star, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a free throw!
Justin Brownlee slows the pace when the team needs it! This rising star tempo control!
Halftime! Tyrese Haliburton looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Rumor has it Tyrese Haliburton does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Tyrese Haliburton launches and converts! A sky hook from downtown! Money!
What a boiling cauldron! Tyrese Haliburton and the fans creating a spectacle!
Jalen Duren posts up the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Anthony Edwards, this player making noise, has the crowd in the palm of the hand! A crowd fully behind them!
Final buzzer! Anthony Edwards is the hero! This well-respected player with a game for the ages!
Anthony Edwards does a belly slide on the court. Tyrese Haliburton does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
106-119 (L)
This surprise package Jalen Duren in the starting lineup! Let's see what this surprise package brings!
Tyrese Haliburton, this guy with a proven track record, with the shot-clock heave! No good at the buzzer!
Jalen Duren with a wild pass that sails out! This raw talent giving it away!
Kai Sotto gives up the back door! Heavy feet when overplaying!
Jalen Duren, this colossus, rises above and hammers a tear drop!
Rest. Anthony Edwards buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Confession: Anthony Edwards calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Tyrese Haliburton mouths off and picks up a T! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!
Anthony Edwards misfires from the low block! This established player searching for answers!
This guy with a proven track record Tyrese Haliburton calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Kai Sotto, this raw talent, is dragging! The this ball game minutes taking their toll!
Tyrese Haliburton steps back to the tunnel in disappointment. This hooper's hooper will learn from this.
Anthony Edwards sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Tyrese Haliburton puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
95-96 (L)
Kai Sotto, this player nobody saw coming, draws first blood! An alley-oop to start!
Jalen Duren, this newcomer, unleashes a bucket along the baseline! Bang!
Kai Sotto gets caught flat-footed! This total unknown beaten to the spot!
Tyrese Haliburton spins the damn ball into nothing! Occasional mental lapses on full display tonight!
Tyrese Haliburton takes off with renewed energy! This next-level player smells blood!
Rest. Justin Brownlee buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Fun fact: Justin Brownlee was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Anthony Edwards misses the wide-open look during crunch time! This name that's buzzing will regret that!
Jalen Duren drops the head after another miss! Shaky emotions under pressure sapping the confidence!
Tyrese Haliburton, this walking skyscraper, sets the tone with freakish explosiveness! Leader!
Justin Brownlee, this beanpole, gets blocked in the clutch! A perfect contest denies this surprise package!
This raw talent Kai Sotto leaves the floor with head held high. Fought to the end.
Jalen Duren is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Anthony Edwards waits at the tunnel entrance. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
My Team finishes #3, a fantastic season! 12W-3L. Season MVP: Tyrese Haliburton.
Season journal
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