My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | My Team | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Giannis Antetokounmpo. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 211 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Ivana Trump. The woman. Is. A skier. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A skier. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This girl jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at her back. But she's got bare hands and apparently, the technical motion of a skier and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
91-115 (L)
The game begins and Michael Jordan is ready! You can see unreal swagger written all over his face!
Giannis Antetokounmpo with the off-balance pull-up jumper! This world-class player couldn't set the feet!
Steve Jobs with the errant pass! This global icon needs to settle down!
Ivana Trump gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the game behind their bare hands!
A scoop layup by George Soros! The crowd erupts! Scary good handles personified!
The players head in. Steve Jobs slips on the wet tunnel floor. Intel: Steve Jobs refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this tree of a man, shows negative body language! Injury-prone body creeping in!
George Soros pulls up the ball awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this global icon!
This undisputed superstar Michael Jordan runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Ivana Trump gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from competing the game and hooping!
Despite the loss, Steve Jobs held their own with the status quo! The inventor fought!
George Soros walks toward the tunnel without a word. Michael Jordan stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
99-97 (W)
Steve Jobs locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of an inventor who means business!
This max-contract guy Giannis Antetokounmpo with a critical stop! A sky-high block when it counts!
Steve Jobs just barely misses! Close as an inventor getting the status quo almost right!
Steve Jobs finishes the fast break! Sprinting like an inventor who's running late!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this mountain of a man, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Into the tunnel. Giannis Antetokounmpo grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Fun fact: Giannis Antetokounmpo failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Steve Jobs answers back! Response time of an inventor responding to the status quo!
Ivana Trump blocks from behind! Came outta nowhere like a skier on a mission!
Post-game fireworks for George Soros! Brighter than their bare hands on a perfect day!
George Soros delivers in the clutch! A finger roll along the baseline! This global icon is ice cold!
Ivana Trump, this top-tier talent, embraces the teammates! A salute to the fans! Sweet victory!
Giannis Antetokounmpo performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Ivana Trump imitates it. It's worse. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
109-92 (W)
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this tree of a man, is introduced and the arena explodes! This max-contract guy is in the building!
Michael Jordan with an incredible reverse layup from the right corner! Standing ovation!
George Soros rotates perfectly for the sky-high block! That dawg mentality on full display!
This headliner Giannis Antetokounmpo with assist number buckets! Freakish explosiveness on display!
This top-tier talent Giannis Antetokounmpo sets the back screen! Iron discipline off-ball contribution!
Halftime. The doctor examines George Soros's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Small detail: George Soros wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
A fadeaway jumper from Steve Jobs back to the basket! That's a statement right there!
The building is buzzing! George Soros and a standing ovation creating magic!
Giannis Antetokounmpo makes the extra pass! This All-Star caliber talent hockey assist for a scoop layup!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan silences the noise! Silky smooth technique locked in! Nothing else matters!
Steve Jobs shakes hands! The handshake of an inventor who respects the status quo!
George Soros does a cartwheel at center court. Michael Jordan tries one too and eats it. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
106-98 (W)
This jersey-selling name Giannis Antetokounmpo gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Giannis Antetokounmpo explodes past everyone for a scoop layup! This tree of a man on a mission!
Giannis Antetokounmpo picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
Michael Jordan penetrates into the lane and kicks out! Ridiculous creativity and great decision-making!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this tree of a man, sets a brick-wall screen! Iron discipline on full display!
End of the first half. Ivana Trump is beet red but still standing. Fun fact: Ivana Trump failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
George Soros treats the orange like the game and sinks it. Easy as pie for a philanthropist!
Steve Jobs soaks in a hostile crowd! This once-in-a-lifetime player living for these moments!
Michael Jordan sprints back on defense! This hall-of-fame lock leading by example!
Ivana Trump's journey from the game to a buzzer-beater inspires a crowd fully behind them!
This bonafide star Giannis Antetokounmpo led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Giannis Antetokounmpo gives his headband to a kid in the crowd. Ivana Trump gives her shoes. Michael Jordan gives his water bottle. The kid is overwhelmed. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Giannis Antetokounmpo's name. Forgive me. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
133-88 (W)
This certified GOAT candidate George Soros comes out aggressive! Opens with a floater from the left corner!
A step-back three from Michael Jordan! This guy with rings on every finger is putting on a show tonight!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this established star, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a buzzer-beater!
Giannis Antetokounmpo blows past to the rack for a half-court heave! Can't contain this mountain of a man!
Giannis Antetokounmpo forces the shot-clock violation! Iron discipline on full display!
The players disappear. George Soros has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Fun fact: George Soros tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
This reliable star Giannis Antetokounmpo does it again! A fadeaway jumper with effortless precision!
Ivana Trump showboats with a chest bump! Even the game gets a rest in blowouts!
This established star Giannis Antetokounmpo does the robot during the dead ball! A team high-five!
This All-Star caliber talent Ivana Trump rallies the crowd! A slide across the hardwood driving to the hoop! Deafening!
It's over! Giannis Antetokounmpo delivers the goods! This established star walks off a winner!
Giannis Antetokounmpo blows a kiss to the camera. Ivana Trump blows twelve. Michael Jordan blocks the lens. I learned tonight that Giannis Antetokounmpo used to be a skier. That explains the unique running style. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
90-111 (L)
Ivana Trump checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
That one wasn't even close, George Soros! Stick to competing the game!
This big-name player Ivana Trump dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
George Soros bites on the pump fake! This living legend sent flying from the right corner!
Steve Jobs cuts and scores! Sharp as their prototype sketch, this inventor!
The locker room fills up. George Soros has already eaten three oranges. Confession: George Soros calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Steve Jobs, this do-it-all player, pounds the scorer's table! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Michael Jordan, this global icon, pulls the trigger on the low block but no luck!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this giant, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Natural-born leadership!
Steve Jobs drives but can't sustain the effort! Injury-prone body emptying the tank!
Steve Jobs crosses over to the tunnel in disappointment. This global icon will learn from this.
Michael Jordan claps his hands in frustration. Giannis Antetokounmpo clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
111-96 (W)
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this max-contract guy, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
George Soros with the crafty free throw! Night-in night-out consistency on display!
Steve Jobs a crucial offensive board and starts the fast break! Defense wins championships!
Ivana Trump with the lob pass off the pick and roll! This max-contract guy to the teammate! Boom!
George Soros, this living legend, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a deep three!
Players head to the locker room. Michael Jordan has tape on three fingers. Little secret: Michael Jordan watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this beanpole, muscles in for a buzzer-beater! Pure power!
Ivana Trump throws the tall socks to the crowd! Better than throwing the game!
George Soros fights through the screen for the team! That philanthropist toughness right there!
A narrative for the ages: George Soros, the philanthropist who mastered their bare hands and the ball!
Steve Jobs walks off the venue victorious! This once-in-a-lifetime player owns this moment!
Steve Jobs drops to his knees and kisses the court. George Soros pretends to gag. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
103-108 (L)
Ivana Trump gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a skier on day one!
Steve Jobs explodes with the precision of an inventor at work. And it's a hook shot!
George Soros reacts too late to rotate! Limited stamina on the help side!
Michael Jordan shoots but overcooks it! Shaky emotions under pressure showing up again!
Giannis Antetokounmpo steals and scores! This elite player cutting the gap from the right corner!
End of the first act. Steve Jobs is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Juicy anecdote: Steve Jobs was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
George Soros can't deliver! Even a philanthropist can't help in this the third quarter!
Michael Jordan slams the leather in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
From skier life to dominating the court, Ivana Trump's journey is remarkable!
Steve Jobs picks up the offensive foul! An inventor charging like they charge at the status quo!
Michael Jordan had the chances but couldn't convert. This guy with rings on every finger left wanting.
Ivana Trump stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Giannis Antetokounmpo comes back to get her. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
95-103 (L)
Michael Jordan, this hall-of-fame lock, draws first blood! A half-court heave to start!
Michael Jordan can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this certified GOAT candidate!
Michael Jordan with the lazy pass! Tendency to rush leading to easy points!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this titan, lets the shooter get free from way beyond the arc! Costly lapse!
George Soros muscles through for a buzzer-beater! The strength of a philanthropist moving the game!
Break time. George Soros bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know? George Soros once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Ivana Trump tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the skier will bounce back!
Steve Jobs can't convert! The inventor's touch with the status quo deserted them!
George Soros outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a philanthropist with their bare hands!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this mountain of a man, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Steve Jobs pulls up past the media. This undisputed superstar not in the mood to talk.
Steve Jobs snaps at the bench on his way out. Michael Jordan says nothing, but his look says everything. Did you know that Michael Jordan practices skier on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
110-103 (W)
Steve Jobs takes the court to wild stands! The inventor with their prototype sketch is here!
Michael Jordan, this hall-of-fame lock, sinks a pull-up jumper with surgical precision on the low block!
This global icon Michael Jordan with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
Ivana Trump, this lightning-quick little man, drops the dime! Nerves of steel passing on display!
Ivana Trump steps back the ball out of the trap! Insane court vision under pressure!
Halftime! George Soros checks his stats on the board and winces. Anecdote of the day: George Soros forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Steve Jobs goes coast to coast for a tear drop! This global icon is relentless!
The crowd does the wave for Steve Jobs! Inventor pride!
This franchise cornerstone Steve Jobs tips it to the teammate! A killer instinct on full display!
This all-time great Michael Jordan is the heartbeat of this team! A live masterclass leadership!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan seals the deal! Victory with a killer instinct!
Ivana Trump hugs the mascot. Giannis Antetokounmpo hugs the referee. Awkward. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
107-106 (W)
Tip-off! Giannis Antetokounmpo gets us started! Let's go!
Ivana Trump makes the stop! Stopping power of a skier in full force!
Michael Jordan, this oversized freak, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this household name!
A layup from George Soros! This undisputed superstar just keeps delivering!
Ivana Trump draws the double team! Attracting attention, the skier is a magnet out there!
Off to the locker room. Ivana Trump has already drained two water bottles. Did you know Ivana Trump once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
This guy everybody knows Ivana Trump takes over in overtime! Unreal swagger in crunch time!
Ivana Trump cuts off the drive! Precision of competing the game!
George Soros, this combo guard, basks in an incredible energy! This is home!
George Soros with the dagger! Sharp as their bare hands in a philanthropist's hands!
This reliable star Giannis Antetokounmpo secures the win with iron discipline! Another one in the bag!
Michael Jordan and Ivana Trump share a 30-second hug. Steve Jobs wants in. Gets pushed away. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
96-114 (L)
Game time! Giannis Antetokounmpo and this bonafide star ready to put on a show at the gymnasium!
Michael Jordan, this hall-of-fame lock, sends the damn ball wide! The touch is off tonight!
Ivana Trump throws it away! A pass worse than a skier tossing the game!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan commits the and-one foul! Occasional mental lapses in positioning!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this top-tier talent, threads the needle for a hook shot back to the basket!
The players head to the locker room. Michael Jordan is sweating like a racehorse. Rumor has it Michael Jordan has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Michael Jordan goes to work and kicks the stanchion! This generational talent losing composure!
A pull-up jumper attempt by Steve Jobs falls short! Lack of consistency in the legs!
Michael Jordan, this household name, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Unreal swagger!
George Soros mops their face! Sweating more than when competing the game!
This generational talent Michael Jordan tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Michael Jordan sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. George Soros winces. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
110-100 (W)
And we're underway! Steve Jobs touches the leather first! This household name looks eager!
This once-in-a-lifetime player George Soros finishes with authority! A double-clutch layup at the top of the key!
Michael Jordan blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Ivana Trump floats a perfect pass! Floating it with a skier's soft touch!
George Soros calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's philanthropist mentality!
The players file out. George Soros exchanges a tense look with the coach. Did you know? George Soros has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
This guy everybody knows Giannis Antetokounmpo punishes the defense with a pull-up jumper from the left corner!
This guy with rings on every finger Steve Jobs brings a Playoff atmosphere to a new level! Incredible scene!
Michael Jordan, this giant, boxes out for the teammate! This basketball god doing the dirty work!
George Soros brings blue-collar their bare hands grit to the den!
Michael Jordan can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Giannis Antetokounmpo runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
104-88 (W)
This top-tier talent Giannis Antetokounmpo comes out firing! A double-clutch layup in the first minute!
This big-name player Giannis Antetokounmpo erupts for a step-back three! The floodgates are open!
George Soros, this combo guard, alters the shot! Eyes in the back of the head at the rim!
Giannis Antetokounmpo quarter-backs the possession! Assist for a finger roll! What a pass!
Michael Jordan spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Halftime! George Soros walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Did you know George Soros once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
This generational talent Michael Jordan goes to work at the top of the key! A bucket drops beautifully!
What a roaring arena! Michael Jordan and the fans creating a spectacle!
This multi-time All-Star Giannis Antetokounmpo runs the leather patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
George Soros, this smooth operator, stands tall when the team needs this generational talent most!
George Soros wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their bare hands and the rock!
George Soros and Michael Jordan play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. George Soros loses. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Michael Jordan. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
94-124 (L)
Giannis Antetokounmpo takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This bonafide star locked in!
A buzzer-beater from Michael Jordan hits the iron! Tendency to rush under the spotlight!
Michael Jordan, this oversized freak, steps out of bounds with the pill! Mental lapse!
Ivana Trump fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a skier chasing the game!
Steve Jobs shoots the ball beautifully for a bank shot! What touch!
Time to breathe. George Soros has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Confession: George Soros believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
This certified GOAT candidate George Soros shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
George Soros misses! Even a philanthropist can't fix that shot!
Steve Jobs, this first-ballot legend, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Ivana Trump is spent! Used up like the game after a skier's long day!
Ivana Trump walks off in defeat! Even a skier's skills couldn't save tonight!
Steve Jobs isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Ivana Trump tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
My Team ends the season #7 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: Giannis Antetokounmpo.
Season Journal
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Giannis Antetokounmpo. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 211 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Ivana Trump. The woman. Is. A skier. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A skier. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This girl jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at her back. But she's got bare hands and apparently, the technical motion of a skier and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach.
Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
My Team ends the season #7 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: Giannis Antetokounmpo.
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