MUPPERS GO — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | MUPPERS GO | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... MUPPERS GO! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Cookie Monster. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. The man is massive, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. The chef's surprise of the evening is Count von Count. An amateur by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the game with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. Let's talk budget, and by "budget" I mean the spare change you find between the couch cushions. These guys are so far under the salary floor that the league literally has to GIVE them money to meet the minimum. This is the squad that travels by Greyhound bus and washes their own jerseys. No stars, just hungry rookies on two-way deals and bitter vets signed for the minimum. It's the perfect setup for tanking your way to a top Draft pick, but for the fans, it's a damn desert crossing.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
77-121 (L)
Cookie Monster gets the starting nod! An entertainer starting with the wireless mic confidence!
This guy nobody was talking about Count von Count short-arms a catch-and-shoot triple from way beyond the arc! Not enough lift!
Count von Count, this tweener, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted driving to the hoop!
Cookie Monster watches them score! Just watching, like watching the wireless mic gather dust!
Count von Count, this solid build, throws the hands up! Exasperated under the basket!
The players head in. Kermit the Frog slips on the wet tunnel floor. Little scoop: Kermit the Frog collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
This player on the come-up Kermit the Frog misfires again! Lack of consistency could cost the team!
Big Bird, this well-respected player, is dragging! The 4 periods of 12 minutes minutes taking their toll!
Count von Count passes to nobody! This rising star with a head-scratching decision!
Big Bird gets a technical for complaining! Heavy feet on full display!
Cookie Monster leaves the gym with dignity! The dignity of an entertainer with the wireless mic!
Big Bird refuses Detroit Engine-Roar's handshake. Kermit the Frog offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
84-129 (L)
This name that's buzzing Cookie Monster means business! Fast start at the top of the key!
Count von Count misses the open look! This who-is-this-guy player can't believe it! Limited stamina!
Oscar the Grouch with the backcourt violation! This surprise package under too much pressure!
Kermit the Frog gets posted up and scored on! This seasoned vet overpowered!
Cookie Monster looks to the heavens! An entertainer praying for the wireless mic to work!
Back in the locker room, Big Bird sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote: Big Bird once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
A devastating dunk attempt by Count von Count falls short! Tendency to force bad shots in the legs!
This dude out of nowhere Count von Count can barely jump! The springs are gone in transition!
Count von Count coughs up the Wilson! Heavy feet strikes again at half court!
This up-and-coming baller Big Bird hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from the right corner!
Count von Count posts up to the tunnel in disappointment. This dude out of nowhere will learn from this.
Cookie Monster claps his hands in frustration. Count von Count clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
82-127 (L)
Count von Count takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
This total unknown Oscar the Grouch puts up an alley-oop but it won't fall! Off night!
This rising star Oscar the Grouch forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Count von Count reacts too late to rotate! Hot head on the help side!
Cookie Monster attacks and kicks the stanchion! This next-level player losing composure!
Halftime. Count von Count's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. The staff told me Count von Count sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Count von Count attacks but overcooks it! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing up again!
This legit talent Big Bird has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This potential breakout star Oscar the Grouch with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Big Bird posts up away from the huddle! This hooper's hooper in a dark place mentally!
Count von Count had the chances but couldn't convert. This player nobody saw coming left wanting.
Kermit the Frog's gaze is cold, distant. Big Bird's gaze is hot, angry. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
77-122 (L)
This league veteran Cookie Monster in the starting lineup! Let's see what this league veteran brings!
Big Bird, this guy with a proven track record, sends the pill wide! The touch is off tonight!
Oscar the Grouch loses the Spalding in traffic! This raw talent can't afford that!
This guy nobody was talking about Oscar the Grouch commits the and-one foul! Limited stamina in positioning!
Cookie Monster slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than an entertainer hits the workbench!
Halftime! Oscar the Grouch has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Juicy intel: Oscar the Grouch turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Oscar the Grouch, this all-around player, wastes a golden chance with a wild euro-step!
Cookie Monster is huffing and puffing! Winded, even an entertainer would call it quits!
Count von Count with a wild pass that sails out! This guy nobody was talking about giving it away!
Oscar the Grouch spins angrily after the turnover! This total unknown spiraling!
This hungry young player Count von Count leaves the court with head held high. Fought to the end.
Kermit the Frog refuses Philadelphia Injury-Report's handshake. Count von Count offers a limp one with just his fingertips. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
88-133 (L)
Oscar the Grouch steps back with energy from the opening whistle! This potential breakout star locked in!
Oscar the Grouch dribbles the rock awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this guy nobody was talking about!
Count von Count with the errant pass! This surprise package needs to settle down!
Kermit the Frog gets burned on the drive! Injury-prone body in lateral movement!
Count von Count mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
Back to the locker room. Big Bird punches his locker. Fun fact: Big Bird tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Kermit the Frog dishes but the shot rims out! Heavy feet rears its ugly head!
Oscar the Grouch, this solid build, with tired legs from mid-range! Tendency to force bad shots slowing this unknown gem down!
Oscar the Grouch, this solid build, steps out of bounds with the rock! Mental lapse!
This respected competitor Kermit the Frog shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Oscar the Grouch, this smooth operator, hangs the head. Tough loss despite insane court vision effort.
Kermit the Frog watches the crowd file out in silence. Big Bird prefers not to look. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
83-127 (L)
This solid pro Big Bird opens the scoring! A catch-and-shoot triple! Early advantage!
Cookie Monster rattles in and out! The restless crowd never teases an entertainer like that!
Kermit the Frog with the lazy pass! Ego the size of Texas leading to easy points!
Big Bird turns the head and loses the man! This seasoned vet napping defensively!
Big Bird slams the pill in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
First half is done. Cookie Monster is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Physio's confession: Cookie Monster purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
This unknown gem Oscar the Grouch muscles up a buzzer-beater but can't get it to fall!
Cookie Monster struggles in the second quarter! The entertainer hitting the wall with the restless crowd!
Oscar the Grouch shoots the damn ball right to the defense! Costly mistake by this newcomer!
Kermit the Frog, this solid pro, refuses to high-five! Ego the size of Texas hurting the chemistry!
Cookie Monster hangs their head! An entertainer who gave everything they had!
Oscar the Grouch isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Count von Count tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
77-122 (L)
Tip-off! Oscar the Grouch gets us started! Let's go!
Kermit the Frog misfires facing the rim! Even this name that's buzzing has off nights!
This dude out of nowhere Oscar the Grouch with turnover number points! Limited stamina is piling up!
Kermit the Frog gets crossed over! This well-respected player left frozen under the basket!
Kermit the Frog drops the head after another miss! Lack of consistency sapping the confidence!
Finally a breather. Count von Count has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Anecdote: Count von Count slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Count von Count fires a deep three facing the rim but can't connect! Tendency to force bad shots showing!
Cookie Monster digs deep! Deep as an entertainer digs into the restless crowd!
Turnover by Cookie Monster! Electrifying the restless crowd requires less coordination, clearly!
Cookie Monster drops their shoulders! Deflated, even an entertainer's spirit has limits!
Cookie Monster walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to entertainer life tomorrow!
Big Bird sits on the floor in the hallway. Kermit the Frog sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
77-121 (L)
Big Bird spins onto the floor! The crowd roars for this solid pro!
Kermit the Frog, this combo guard, can't get an and-one to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Cookie Monster gets picked! An entertainer getting the restless crowd stolen in broad daylight!
Big Bird, this scrappy guard, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over hot head!
Cookie Monster vents at their teammates! The entertainer who vents about the restless crowd!
The players leave the court. Big Bird clings to the tunnel railing. Did you know? Big Bird tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Brick! Kermit the Frog misfires from the right corner! Shaky emotions under pressure at the worst time!
Cookie Monster grabs the shorts! This solid pro is running on fumes!
Kermit the Frog throws it into the stands! What was that from this dude putting the league on notice!
Big Bird, this established player, yells at the coaching staff! Hot head causing friction!
This unknown gem Oscar the Grouch tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Cookie Monster hurls his water bottle at the wall. Oscar the Grouch flinches but doesn't react. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
74-118 (L)
Count von Count, this rising star, embraces the wild stands! Game on!
A bank shot from Cookie Monster goes in and out! Heartbreaking at the buzzer!
Cookie Monster, this swiss-army-knife type, fumbles the entry pass along the baseline!
Count von Count loses the screen battle! Ego the size of Texas around the picks!
This player nobody saw coming Oscar the Grouch stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Halftime! Kermit the Frog is limping slightly heading off the court. Rumor has it Kermit the Frog does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
A layup from Kermit the Frog catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Count von Count, this combo guard, laboring up and down! Occasional mental lapses draining the energy!
This player nobody saw coming Count von Count gets pickpocketed facing the rim! Sloppy handling!
Cookie Monster buries their face! Hidden from view, the entertainer can't watch!
Cookie Monster looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for an entertainer!
Oscar the Grouch lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Cookie Monster holds his in. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
76-121 (L)
Oscar the Grouch, this swiss-army-knife type, takes the court! The packed arena is electric!
Kermit the Frog, this tweener, gets the look but can't convert from the left corner!
Count von Count, this combo guard, gets the ball poked away! Defense that's basically a suggestion when protecting the Wilson!
Big Bird gives up the back door! Heavy feet when overplaying!
This hungry young player Count von Count fouls hard out of frustration! Injury-prone body showing!
The locker room. Oscar the Grouch sprawls out full-length on the bench. Rumor has it Oscar the Grouch does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
This league veteran Kermit the Frog throws up a prayer at the top of the key! Not answered!
Count von Count is gassed! This raw talent bent over at half court! Occasional mental lapses catching up!
Big Bird charges right into the defender! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure when controlling pace!
Cookie Monster stares in disbelief! The look of an entertainer who just lost everything!
Kermit the Frog, this do-it-all player, trudges off the temple of basketball. Lessons to take from this one.
Big Bird pulls his cap down over his eyes. Cookie Monster doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Big Bird's name. Forgive me. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
90-134 (L)
This total unknown Count von Count comes out firing! A reverse layup in the first minute!
Kermit the Frog forces a euro-step facing the rim! This league veteran trying too hard!
Oscar the Grouch, this all-around player, commits the travel! Tendency to rush in the footwork!
Oscar the Grouch, this combo guard, can't keep up with the speed! Heavy feet exposed!
This respected competitor Big Bird slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Coach calls everyone back. Cookie Monster drags his feet toward the tunnel. Fun fact: Cookie Monster tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Cookie Monster forces a bad double-clutch layup! This name that's buzzing needs to trust teammates!
Big Bird is visibly tired! This respected competitor needs a timeout badly!
Cookie Monster tries to be too fancy and loses the orange! Hot head in the decision-making!
Cookie Monster kicks the air! The frustration of an entertainer who knows they can do better!
Oscar the Grouch steps back past the media. This hidden prospect not in the mood to talk.
Kermit the Frog chews his nails on the bench. Big Bird stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
76-120 (L)
This player nobody saw coming Oscar the Grouch catches the rock early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Kermit the Frog, this dude putting the league on notice, pulls the trigger off the pick and roll but no luck!
This hooper's hooper Kermit the Frog commits the offensive foul! Turnover from the right corner!
Cookie Monster left in the dust! Even an entertainer moves faster than that!
Cookie Monster storms to the bench! This dude putting the league on notice is visibly upset!
Halftime whistle. Kermit the Frog spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. True story: Kermit the Frog walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Cleveland Twin-Towers. Awkward. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Count von Count crosses over the pill but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Oscar the Grouch short-arms the shot from fatigue! This newcomer has nothing left!
Oscar the Grouch, this swiss-army-knife type, gets called for the carry! Shaky emotions under pressure in ball-handling!
Oscar the Grouch, this player nobody saw coming, barks at the teammate! Tendency to rush taking over!
Cookie Monster absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, an entertainer knows tough days!
Count von Count presses his forehead against the tunnel glass. Oscar the Grouch walks right past without noticing. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
75-119 (L)
Game time! Oscar the Grouch and this who-is-this-guy player ready to put on a show at the venue!
Kermit the Frog with the off-balance euro-step! This established player couldn't set the feet!
Oscar the Grouch crosses over into a dead end at the top of the key! Turnover! Sometimes predictable game!
Count von Count, this combo guard, fouls unnecessarily under the basket! Tendency to force bad shots!
Big Bird glares at the scoreboard! This player making noise not happy with the situation!
Into the tunnel. Cookie Monster grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Little scoop: Cookie Monster collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Kermit the Frog can't buy a bucket! Another miss back to the basket! Frustrating!
Big Bird asks for the ball to slow the pace! This league veteran needs air!
This surprise package Oscar the Grouch loses concentration and the ball with it!
This hidden prospect Count von Count gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Cookie Monster fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the entertainer gave everything!
Count von Count taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Oscar the Grouch walks through the door without pushing it. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
80-124 (L)
This surprise package Oscar the Grouch comes out aggressive! Opens with a thunderous slam in the paint!
Oscar the Grouch can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this hungry young player!
This dark horse Oscar the Grouch commits the 5-second violation! Clock management tendency to rush!
This dark horse Count von Count fouls reaching in! Lack of consistency on defense!
Cookie Monster mouths off at late in the quarter! An entertainer venting about the restless crowd!
Halftime whistle! Big Bird grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. They say Big Bird has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Big Bird rises up the damn ball into the front rim! That's frustrating for this league veteran!
Kermit the Frog is running on pure willpower! This next-level player refusing to quit!
Big Bird throws it away! Occasional mental lapses under pressure off the pick and roll!
Big Bird picks up the second technical! This seasoned vet ejected! Occasional mental lapses!
Cookie Monster packs up and heads out! Packing the wireless mic, unpacking emotions!
Big Bird sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Kermit the Frog has his head in his hands. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
81-125 (L)
Oscar the Grouch, this hungry young player, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Cookie Monster can't hit from the baseline! That zone is cursed for this entertainer!
Count von Count dribbles into a trap! Limited stamina when reading the defense!
Big Bird gets caught flat-footed! This player making noise beaten to the spot!
Big Bird, this little firecracker, waves off the play call! Lack of consistency hurting the team!
Back to the locker room. Cookie Monster punches his locker. Rumor has it Cookie Monster tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Kermit the Frog dribbles the leather into nothing! Tendency to force bad shots on full display tonight!
Oscar the Grouch, this guy nobody was talking about, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Cookie Monster, this versatile guy, gets stripped from the right corner! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
Count von Count rises up the towel! This newcomer showing sometimes predictable game!
Kermit the Frog walks off in silence. This respected competitor gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Count von Count sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Oscar the Grouch winces. I got a text from Count von Count after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
MUPPERS GO finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Cookie Monster.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... MUPPERS GO!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Cookie Monster. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. The man is massive, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it.
The chef's surprise of the evening is Count von Count. An amateur by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the game with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him.
Let's talk budget, and by "budget" I mean the spare change you find between the couch cushions. These guys are so far under the salary floor that the league literally has to GIVE them money to meet the minimum. This is the squad that travels by Greyhound bus and washes their own jerseys. No stars, just hungry rookies on two-way deals and bitter vets signed for the minimum. It's the perfect setup for tanking your way to a top Draft pick, but for the fans, it's a damn desert crossing.
MUPPERS GO finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Cookie Monster.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
