Los angeles dunkers — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Los angeles dunkers | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... Los angeles dunkers! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. LeBron James. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 206 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Toad is on this team. Toad, who is an amateur and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with bare hands under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. Financially, this team is operating in another dimension. The salary cap? Never heard of it. The luxury tax? Paid with a smile. The owner sold two of his yachts to fund this roster and he'd do it again tomorrow morning. Every player on this bench earns more in a week than most people do in a year, and not a single one of them is here to ride the pine. This is a team built to win NOW. Not tomorrow, not next season. Tonight.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
83-127 (L)
LeBron James looks dialed in from the start! Silky smooth technique preparation showing!
Stephen Curry, this multi-time All-Star, pulls the trigger under the basket but no luck!
Mario dishes into a dead end facing the rim! Turnover! Tendency to force bad shots!
LeBron James turns the head and loses the man! This certified GOAT candidate napping defensively!
This hidden prospect Toad slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Break. Stephen Curry collapses next to the vending machine. They say Stephen Curry has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Toad, this swiss-army-knife type, gets stuffed trying a pull-up jumper! Denied!
Kobe Bryant, this mammoth, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Stephen Curry with the lazy pass! Injury-prone body leading to easy points!
Mario slams the basketball in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
Toad shoots to the tunnel in disappointment. This guy nobody was talking about will learn from this.
Kobe Bryant taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Stephen Curry walks through the door without pushing it. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Stephen Curry. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
90-101 (L)
Kobe Bryant fires up the crowd to open the game! This hall-of-fame lock starting strong!
Stephen Curry, this multi-time All-Star, fumbles the finish in transition! Back to the drawing board!
This surprise package Toad forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Toad gets burned on the drive! Occasional mental lapses in lateral movement!
LeBron James, this franchise cornerstone, knifes through for a double-clutch layup at half court! Wow!
Cut! Halftime. Mario's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Anecdote: Mario slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
This undisputed superstar LeBron James shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
LeBron James dribbles the basketball into the front rim! That's frustrating for this undisputed superstar!
This newcomer Toad attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Mario lets fly but can't sustain the effort! Defense that's basically a suggestion emptying the tank!
Kobe Bryant launches past the media. This guy with rings on every finger not in the mood to talk.
Mario pulls his cap down over his eyes. Stephen Curry doesn't have a cap, and it shows. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
93-117 (L)
This bonafide star Stephen Curry in the starting lineup! Let's see what this bonafide star brings!
Toad, this unknown gem, sends the Wilson wide! The touch is off tonight!
Stephen Curry blows past carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
LeBron James, this long boy, can't keep up with the speed! Lack of consistency exposed!
Stephen Curry hits a buzzer beater! Freakish explosiveness proving to be the difference tonight!
Halftime whistle. Mario has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Intel: Mario asked Orlando Magic-Beans for their energy drink recipe. They refused. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Stephen Curry takes off and kicks the stanchion! This All-Star caliber talent losing composure!
Toad with a wild attempt! This surprise package not finding the range tonight!
Kobe Bryant reads the defense perfectly! Silky smooth technique and a sky-high basketball IQ!
LeBron James, this guy with rings on every finger, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Stephen Curry, this reliable star, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Stephen Curry sits on the floor in the hallway. Kobe Bryant sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. I learned backstage that Kobe Bryant also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
98-115 (L)
This established star Stephen Curry catches the ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Mario, this smooth operator, wastes a golden chance with a wild step-back three!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Stephen Curry gets caught flat-footed! This big-name player beaten to the spot!
Toad posts up the pill beautifully for a floater! What touch!
Well-deserved break. Mario looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Exclusive info: Mario is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
LeBron James, this global icon, yells at the coaching staff! Sometimes predictable game causing friction!
LeBron James takes a tough alley-oop and it doesn't go! Limited stamina in shot selection!
Toad drives the ball out of the trap! An off-the-charts basketball IQ under pressure!
Kobe Bryant misses from fatigue! This once-in-a-lifetime player can't get the elevation from way beyond the arc!
LeBron James, this global icon, takes the loss hard. Sometimes predictable game at the wrong moments.
LeBron James stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Toad comes back to get him. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
102-121 (L)
This global icon LeBron James comes out firing! A tear drop in the first minute!
Mario, this tweener, gets the look facing the rim but the lid's on the rim!
LeBron James, this long boy, gets the ball poked away! Hot head when protecting the Spalding!
Toad falls asleep on the weak side! Heavy feet exposed!
Stephen Curry answers back with a bucket! Silky smooth technique under pressure!
Back to the locker room. Toad's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Did you know Toad knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Phoenix No-Defense's colors. By accident, obviously. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant fouls hard out of frustration! Heavy feet showing!
Mario, this newcomer, comes up empty! A devastating dunk off target on the low block!
Mario uses the hesitation dribble! Night-in night-out consistency creating separation!
Mario, this solid build, laboring up and down! Occasional mental lapses draining the energy!
This bonafide star Stephen Curry shakes hands and moves on. In the end, limited stamina proved costly.
Stephen Curry walks toward the tunnel without a word. LeBron James stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
87-123 (L)
The game begins and Toad is ready! You can see freakish explosiveness written all over his face!
This potential GOAT LeBron James muscles up a euro-step but can't get it to fall!
Mario lets fly the Spalding right to the defense! Costly mistake by this diamond in the rough!
Mario, this all-around player, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over sometimes predictable game!
This franchise cornerstone Kobe Bryant hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from way beyond the arc!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, LeBron James picks up the pace. Staff confession: LeBron James is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Stephen Curry launches an and-one and... Airball! Injury-prone body at its peak!
This player nobody saw coming Mario signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Heavy feet!
LeBron James with the errant pass! This certified GOAT candidate needs to settle down!
This surprise package Toad can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Mario had the chances but couldn't convert. This guy nobody was talking about left wanting.
Mario clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Stephen Curry fidgets with his wristband nervously. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Stephen Curry. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
97-122 (L)
Mario takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Toad fires a catch-and-shoot triple driving to the hoop but can't connect! Heavy feet showing!
Mario, this do-it-all player, gets stripped driving to the hoop! Tendency to rush exposed!
Kobe Bryant gives up the back door! Injury-prone body when overplaying!
Toad, this hungry young player, operates back to the basket with a catch-and-shoot triple! Clinic!
Into the tunnel. Mario grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Rumor has it Mario does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
This all-time great LeBron James throws an elbow in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
This guy nobody was talking about Toad misses the mark! A floater goes begging facing the rim!
This generational talent Kobe Bryant runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Stephen Curry is cramping up! This All-Star caliber talent trying to shake it off! Sometimes predictable game!
Kobe Bryant, this tower, trudges off the gym. Lessons to take from this one.
Mario is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Stephen Curry waits at the tunnel entrance. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
86-130 (L)
Toad, this rising star, draws first blood! A floater to start!
This dark horse Mario puts up a reverse layup but it won't fall! Off night!
LeBron James charges right into the defender! Turnover! Ego the size of Texas when controlling pace!
Mario gambles for the steal and pays the price! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Kobe Bryant mouths off and picks up a T! Tendency to rush taking over!
Into the tunnel. Mario grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Confession: Mario believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Mario, this who-is-this-guy player, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Kobe Bryant is gassed! This generational talent bent over at half court! Defense that's basically a suggestion catching up!
LeBron James, this big fella, gets called for the carry! Tendency to rush in ball-handling!
Toad can't mask the disappointment! This surprise package wearing it on the sleeve!
This hidden prospect Toad leaves the gymnasium with head held high. Fought to the end.
Kobe Bryant taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. LeBron James walks through the door without pushing it. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
73-118 (L)
Mario opens with a deep three! This who-is-this-guy player making an early statement!
A thunderous slam from Toad goes in and out! Heartbreaking back to the basket!
Stephen Curry dribbles into a trap! Limited stamina when reading the defense!
Mario lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this dark horse fooled!
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, pounds the scorer's table! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
The players disappear. LeBron James has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: LeBron James slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
This raw talent Mario throws up a prayer facing the rim! Not answered!
Kobe Bryant, this generational talent, sucking wind after that sprint! The contest of battle!
Stephen Curry throws it into the stands! What was that from this franchise guy!
Mario launches the towel! This unknown gem showing tendency to rush!
This hall-of-fame lock Kobe Bryant tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
LeBron James stares at the floor while Toad mutters something inaudible under his breath. Tonight I learned LeBron James used to be a volunteer firefighter before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
96-115 (L)
Game time! Mario and this total unknown ready to put on a show at the palace of hoops!
Stephen Curry forces up a catch-and-shoot triple over the defense! Sometimes predictable game! Bad decision!
LeBron James coughs up the damn ball! Shaky emotions under pressure strikes again from way beyond the arc!
Toad reacts too late to rotate! Heavy feet on the help side!
Toad drains a thunderous slam in transition! Textbook an unmatched feel for the game!
Break time. LeBron James bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Juicy intel: LeBron James turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Toad glares at the scoreboard! This newcomer not happy with the situation!
Mario, this combo guard, gets the look but can't convert from the left corner!
Kobe Bryant goes to work to the weak side! This global icon exploiting the rotation!
Mario, this solid build, looks exhausted in the paint! The legs are gone!
Stephen Curry reflects on what could have been. Tendency to rush the difference tonight.
Toad rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Kobe Bryant picks up his own and folds it carefully. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
89-134 (L)
Stephen Curry fades away into position! This world-class player not wasting any time!
LeBron James crosses over the damn ball right into the defender's hands! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
This surprise package Mario with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Stephen Curry gets posted up and scored on! This top-tier talent overpowered!
Toad, this tweener, throws the hands up! Exasperated from the right corner!
Halftime whistle. Mario flops into the first available chair. Anecdote: Mario tried to impress the New York Over-Timers players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
LeBron James with a rough buzzer-beater from the right corner! Hot head at the worst time!
LeBron James, this towering presence, with tired legs from the right corner! Tendency to rush slowing this absolute legend down!
Mario with the backcourt violation! This total unknown under too much pressure!
Mario, this guy nobody was talking about, barks at the teammate! Limited stamina taking over!
Mario walks off in silence. This raw talent gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Kobe Bryant bites the inside of his cheek. Toad pinches the bridge of his nose. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
100-108 (L)
LeBron James dunks with energy from the opening whistle! This generational talent locked in!
A fadeaway jumper from Stephen Curry catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
This global icon Kobe Bryant gets pickpocketed from the right corner! Sloppy handling!
Stephen Curry scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Ego the size of Texas!
LeBron James attacks past the defense for a half-court heave! Size advantage from this this mammoth!
The locker room. Stephen Curry sprawls out full-length on the bench. Fun fact: Stephen Curry blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
This rising star Toad gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Stephen Curry misfires from way beyond the arc! This world-class player searching for answers!
Toad, this solid build, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Kobe Bryant is running on pure willpower! This undisputed superstar refusing to quit!
Toad sits alone on the bench. This dark horse processing the defeat.
Kobe Bryant shakes Toad's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
83-127 (L)
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
A deep three from Toad hits the iron! Sometimes predictable game under the spotlight!
This dude out of nowhere Mario commits the offensive foul! Turnover from mid-range!
Kobe Bryant gets screened out of the play! This undisputed superstar lost in traffic!
Stephen Curry storms to the bench! This multi-time All-Star is visibly upset!
Coach calls everyone back. Kobe Bryant drags his feet toward the tunnel. Anecdote: Kobe Bryant slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Toad, this all-around player, can't finish on the low block! That one stings!
Mario, this potential breakout star, is dragging! The 48 regulation minutes minutes taking their toll!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, steps out of bounds with the leather! Mental lapse!
Kobe Bryant gets a technical for complaining! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
This generational talent LeBron James stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this generational talent wanted.
Kobe Bryant rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Toad picks up his own and folds it carefully. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
76-120 (L)
LeBron James, this global icon, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Kobe Bryant with the contested and-one from way beyond the arc! No good! Bad selection!
LeBron James tries to be too fancy and loses the Spalding! Hot head in the decision-making!
This hungry young player Mario bites on the fake! Beaten along the baseline!
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, waves off the play call! Tendency to rush hurting the team!
The players file out. Stephen Curry exchanges a tense look with the coach. Rumor has it Stephen Curry has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Brick! Mario misfires at the buzzer! Limited stamina at the worst time!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry with turnover number buckets! Hot head is piling up!
Mario, this raw talent, with the frustrated foul! Shaky emotions under pressure in tough moments!
This certified GOAT candidate LeBron James congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this certified GOAT candidate.
Stephen Curry punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Kobe Bryant slides down the wall to the floor. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
85-129 (L)
Toad, this diamond in the rough, embraces the cathedral silence! Game on!
Stephen Curry shoots but overcooks it! Limited stamina showing up again!
Mario, this solid build, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted on the low block!
This bonafide star Stephen Curry picks up the cheap foul! Lack of consistency showing!
Toad crosses over angrily after the turnover! This surprise package spiraling!
Both teams head in. Mario has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Fun fact: Mario tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
Toad can't buy a bucket! Another miss off the pick and roll! Frustrating!
Kobe Bryant asks for the ball to slow the pace! This first-ballot legend needs air!
Toad, this solid build, fumbles the entry pass from the right corner!
LeBron James, this hall-of-fame lock, refuses to high-five! Sometimes predictable game hurting the chemistry!
Kobe Bryant, this colossus, hangs the head. Tough loss despite natural-born leadership effort.
Mario turns back to look at the court one last time. Stephen Curry doesn't turn around. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Los angeles dunkers finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... Los angeles dunkers!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. LeBron James. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 206 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Toad is on this team. Toad, who is an amateur and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with bare hands under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
Financially, this team is operating in another dimension. The salary cap? Never heard of it. The luxury tax? Paid with a smile. The owner sold two of his yachts to fund this roster and he'd do it again tomorrow morning. Every player on this bench earns more in a week than most people do in a year, and not a single one of them is here to ride the pine. This is a team built to win NOW. Not tomorrow, not next season. Tonight.
Los angeles dunkers finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
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