Lock in — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Lock in | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... Lock in! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Legolas. The man is an archer. A freaking archer. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
84-128 (L)
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James in the starting lineup! Let's see what this hall-of-fame lock brings!
Doctor Strange fires and misses from along the baseline. Should have stuck with the game!
Denzel Washington with the errant pass! This all-time great needs to settle down!
This basketball god Adolf Hitler fouls reaching in! Shaky emotions under pressure on defense!
Adolf Hitler, this first-ballot legend, barks at the teammate! Tendency to rush taking over!
Back in the locker room, Adolf Hitler sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote: Adolf Hitler fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Legolas, this max-contract guy, with the shot-clock heave! No good from the right corner!
Adolf Hitler powers through! The soldier in them won't quit on the front line!
Denzel Washington forces the pass! Forcing their loaded checkbook where it doesn't fit!
This certified GOAT candidate Denzel Washington can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
This jersey-selling name Legolas shakes hands and moves on. In the end, heavy feet proved costly.
LeBron James walks head down toward the tunnel. Adolf Hitler drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
102-101 (W)
LeBron James takes off into position! This household name not wasting any time!
Adolf Hitler makes the stop! Stopping power of a soldier in full force!
Denzel Washington misfires back to the basket! Even this global icon has off nights!
Adolf Hitler goes baseline and scores! The front line prepared them for this moment!
LeBron James, this generational talent, manages the clock beautifully in the first quarter!
Halftime! Doctor Strange walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Intel: Doctor Strange asked Miami Heart-Attack for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Adolf Hitler wants the ball and delivers! An off-balance shot in the final quarter! Clutch gene!
LeBron James reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
A roaring arena as Adolf Hitler warms up with some soldier moves!
Doctor Strange, this player making noise, keeps the team alive! A scoop layup in the third quarter!
This legit talent Doctor Strange secures the win with eyes in the back of the head! Another one in the bag!
Doctor Strange and Denzel Washington attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. Legolas films the whole thing. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
96-115 (L)
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James catches the leather early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Legolas clanks another one off the rim! This All-Star caliber talent needs to find rhythm!
This generational talent LeBron James dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This elite player Legolas misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
Adolf Hitler knocks down a thunderous slam facing the rim! Ice in the veins!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Adolf Hitler walks head down toward the tunnel. Little secret: Adolf Hitler watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
LeBron James glares at the scoreboard! This absolute legend not happy with the situation!
A bucket from LeBron James sails wide! This once-in-a-lifetime player needs to regroup!
Legolas pulls up into the right spacing! Pure God-given talent and elite court awareness!
LeBron James is gassed! This household name bent over at half court! Defense that's basically a suggestion catching up!
Denzel Washington refuses to make excuses! A film producer owns the risky picture failures too!
Legolas's gaze is cold, distant. LeBron James's gaze is hot, angry. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
97-106 (L)
Adolf Hitler huddles with the team! Huddling up, the soldier strategizes!
A bucket from LeBron James hits the iron! Shaky emotions under pressure under the spotlight!
Doctor Strange botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Denzel Washington loses their assignment! Like losing their loaded checkbook in the workshop!
Adolf Hitler scores from the elbow! Perfect angle, the soldier knows geometry!
That's a wrap for now. Adolf Hitler dives into the tunnel. Little secret: Adolf Hitler listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
LeBron James, this oversized freak, pounds the scorer's table! Injury-prone body on full display!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, gets stuffed trying a finger roll! Denied!
Adolf Hitler, this absolute legend, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a free throw!
Doctor Strange asks for the ball to slow the pace! This up-and-coming baller needs air!
This top-tier talent Legolas stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this top-tier talent wanted.
LeBron James and Doctor Strange share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
111-103 (W)
Adolf Hitler steps onto the court! From defending the front line to this, game time!
A two-handed slam by Legolas from the right corner! Eyes in the back of the head in every fiber!
This league veteran Doctor Strange reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
Adolf Hitler finds the rolling big! Rolling with the momentum of a soldier on fire!
Doctor Strange goes small-ball! Adapting like a banker who reads the room!
Cut! Halftime. Doctor Strange's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Anecdote: Doctor Strange threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Legolas with the smooth finger roll! This bonafide star making it look easy!
This name that's buzzing Doctor Strange has the arena rocking! A sold-out gym on fire off the charts!
Doctor Strange makes the extra pass! Extra effort, the banker way!
From the workshop to the gym, Adolf Hitler brings precision worthy of their service rifle!
Doctor Strange pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This name that's buzzing savors the win!
Doctor Strange makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Legolas makes a bigger heart. Adolf Hitler makes a massive heart. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Legolas. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
90-110 (L)
Adolf Hitler wins the opening tip! Tipping off with soldier energy!
This big-name player Legolas throws up a prayer from the left corner! Not answered!
Adolf Hitler commits the live-ball turnover! Their service rifle would be ashamed!
This bonafide star Legolas bites on the fake! Beaten from downtown!
Doctor Strange punishes the defense! A banker punishing the game with precision!
The locker room. LeBron James sprawls out full-length on the bench. Locker room anecdote: LeBron James talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Doctor Strange, this smooth operator, sits down hard on the bench! Occasional mental lapses written all over his face!
Doctor Strange fires away but the shot rims out! Lack of consistency rears its ugly head!
Denzel Washington dribbles with purpose every possession! This potential GOAT chess master!
Denzel Washington is spent! Used up like the risky picture after a film producer's long day!
Doctor Strange hangs their head! A banker who gave everything they had!
Denzel Washington pulls his cap down over his eyes. LeBron James doesn't have a cap, and it shows. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
74-117 (L)
Doctor Strange fires up the crowd to open the game! This player making noise starting strong!
Denzel Washington with the contested buzzer-beater under the basket! No good! Bad selection!
Legolas, this versatile guy, gets stripped under the basket! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed!
Adolf Hitler falls asleep on the weak side! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Adolf Hitler argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to defending the front line!
Both teams head in. LeBron James has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Rumor has it LeBron James does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
A hook shot from Legolas goes in and out! Heartbreaking in transition!
Denzel Washington drags their feet! Heavy as their loaded checkbook at the end of a shift!
Legolas passes to nobody! This bonafide star with a head-scratching decision!
Legolas goes to work the towel! This big-name player showing sometimes predictable game!
Denzel Washington walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to film producer life tomorrow!
Denzel Washington mutters 'damn' under his breath. Doctor Strange says 'yeah' in the same tone. Tonight I had a revelation: Doctor Strange runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
82-120 (L)
Doctor Strange, this established player, draws first blood! A bank shot to start!
LeBron James forces a hook shot from the left corner! This first-ballot legend trying too hard!
This first-ballot legend Adolf Hitler commits the offensive foul! Turnover facing the rim!
Legolas gets burned on the drive! Tendency to rush in lateral movement!
Adolf Hitler tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the soldier will bounce back!
Break! Doctor Strange heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Intel: Doctor Strange once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Doctor Strange, this do-it-all player, loses the handle and the opportunity! Hot head!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, looks exhausted driving to the hoop! The legs are gone!
Denzel Washington loses the damn ball! A film producer would never be this careless!
Adolf Hitler takes off angrily after the turnover! This certified GOAT candidate spiraling!
Denzel Washington fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the film producer gave everything!
LeBron James looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Legolas looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
90-134 (L)
This household name LeBron James comes out firing! An and-one in the first minute!
Adolf Hitler, this scrappy guard, wastes a golden chance with a wild pull-up jumper!
LeBron James tries to be too fancy and loses the basketball! Sometimes predictable game in the decision-making!
LeBron James reacts too late to rotate! Tendency to rush on the help side!
This first-ballot legend Denzel Washington throws an elbow in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
Finally a breather. Adolf Hitler has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Small detail: Adolf Hitler wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Legolas, this do-it-all player, gets the look but can't convert along the baseline!
Legolas, this world-class player, sucking wind after that sprint! The four quarters of battle!
Legolas loses the damn ball in traffic! This franchise guy can't afford that!
LeBron James drops the head after another miss! Sometimes predictable game sapping the confidence!
Denzel Washington walks off in defeat! Even a film producer's skills couldn't save tonight!
Doctor Strange refuses Houston Blast-Off's handshake. Legolas offers a limp one with just his fingertips. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
107-110 (L)
This headliner Legolas opens the scoring! A pull-up jumper! Early advantage!
Adolf Hitler hits the mid-range! The sweet spot, just like their service rifle placement!
Legolas, this do-it-all player, lets the shooter get free in transition! Costly lapse!
Doctor Strange posts up the Spalding into nothing! Sometimes predictable game on full display tonight!
LeBron James steals and scores! This potential GOAT cutting the gap along the baseline!
Halftime! Adolf Hitler checks his stats on the board and winces. Fun fact: Adolf Hitler is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Denzel Washington gets stripped in the dying seconds! That's gonna be a costly turnover!
This household name Adolf Hitler gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
This will be talked about for years! LeBron James with an alley-oop! Iconic!
Legolas misses the wide-open look during crunch time! This headliner will regret that!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, trudges off the field house. Lessons to take from this one.
Adolf Hitler refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Doctor Strange watches it and immediately regrets it. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
79-120 (L)
Adolf Hitler, this undersized spark plug, announced to huge cheers! A packed arena!
LeBron James misfires from mid-range! This guy with rings on every finger searching for answers!
This all-time great Adolf Hitler with turnover number lengths ahead! Tendency to rush is piling up!
Denzel Washington bites on the fake! Fooled like a film producer by counterfeit the risky picture!
This undisputed superstar Denzel Washington fouls hard out of frustration! Ego the size of Texas showing!
Time to breathe. Legolas has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Confession: Legolas calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
LeBron James, this global icon, sends the pill wide! The touch is off tonight!
Denzel Washington tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a film producer's energy for the risky picture!
Denzel Washington throws it out of bounds! Like launching their loaded checkbook into the void!
LeBron James storms to the bench! This absolute legend is visibly upset!
Legolas sits alone on the bench. This jersey-selling name processing the defeat.
Legolas lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Doctor Strange decides not to comment. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
89-133 (L)
Legolas, this reliable star, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
A pull-up jumper attempt by Denzel Washington falls short! Heavy feet in the legs!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James gets pickpocketed from the left corner! Sloppy handling!
Denzel Washington gets blown by! Even a film producer couldn't stop that!
This certified GOAT candidate Adolf Hitler shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
The locker room fills up. Legolas has already eaten three oranges. Anecdote of the day: Legolas forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
This seasoned vet Doctor Strange rattles it out! So close yet so far back to the basket!
Doctor Strange misses from fatigue! Tired arms from competing the game all week!
Legolas, this tweener, fumbles the entry pass along the baseline!
Doctor Strange sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a banker after a long shift!
LeBron James spins past the media. This guy with rings on every finger not in the mood to talk.
Legolas is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Doctor Strange waits at the tunnel entrance. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
78-123 (L)
Legolas, this do-it-all player, sets the tone immediately! Insane court vision from the jump!
Doctor Strange sends it long! Too much power, not enough finesse from this banker!
Adolf Hitler throws it away! Tendency to force bad shots under pressure off the pick and roll!
Legolas lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this multi-time All-Star fooled!
Denzel Washington slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a film producer hits the workbench!
Break. Doctor Strange collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. The staff told me Doctor Strange sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Denzel Washington misses! Even a film producer can't fix that shot!
Legolas is running on pure willpower! This multi-time All-Star refusing to quit!
LeBron James with the lazy pass! Lack of consistency leading to easy points!
Doctor Strange walks away muttering! Muttering about the game under their breath!
Legolas had the chances but couldn't convert. This max-contract guy left wanting.
Doctor Strange is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. LeBron James waits at the tunnel entrance. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
89-134 (L)
And we're underway! LeBron James touches the basketball first! This undisputed superstar looks eager!
LeBron James forces a bad and-one! This living legend needs to trust teammates!
Adolf Hitler gets the ball stripped! The front line would have stayed in a soldier's grip!
Legolas gets crossed over! This headliner left frozen from mid-range!
Adolf Hitler kicks the air! The frustration of a soldier who knows they can do better!
Players head to the locker room. LeBron James has tape on three fingers. I've been told LeBron James always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Legolas gets a clean look but tendency to force bad shots costs the bucket!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Adolf Hitler, this pocket rocket, gets called for the carry! Limited stamina in ball-handling!
Denzel Washington, this certified GOAT candidate, with the frustrated foul! Hot head in tough moments!
Doctor Strange absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a banker knows tough days!
Adolf Hitler hurls his mouthguard into the trash. LeBron James keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
80-125 (L)
Legolas, this elite player, embraces the boiling cauldron! Game on!
Doctor Strange can't score in the first quarter! This banker is way off tonight!
Adolf Hitler throws it into the stands! What was that from this global icon!
Doctor Strange, this solid build, gets dunked on facing the rim! Poster material!
Denzel Washington, this global icon, yells at the coaching staff! Injury-prone body causing friction!
The players leave the court. Denzel Washington clings to the tunnel railing. Fun fact: Denzel Washington tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Denzel Washington clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their loaded checkbook hitting the risky picture!
Adolf Hitler waves for a timeout! The soldier needs the front line break!
Denzel Washington, this combo guard, steps out of bounds with the leather! Mental lapse!
Adolf Hitler stares in disbelief! The look of a soldier who just lost everything!
This guy everybody knows Legolas congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this guy everybody knows.
Denzel Washington walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Doctor Strange drags one foot after the other. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Lock in finishes #16 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... Lock in!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Legolas. The man is an archer. A freaking archer. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
Lock in finishes #16 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
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