Greek team — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Greek team | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... Greek team! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Jesus Christ! Picture this: the man is massive, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Donald Trump. The man is a film producer. A freaking film producer. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their loaded checkbook and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
77-121 (L)
Jesus Christ sets the tone early! The messiah came to play tonight!
Harry Potter, this combo guard, bobbles the basketball and the chance evaporates back to the basket!
Joe Biden double-dribbles! Challenging the young scholars doesn't have that rule!
Joe Biden beaten to the spot! Slower than a university professor on a Monday morning!
Joe Biden, this tweener, pounds the scorer's table! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Cut! Halftime. Donald Trump's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Anecdote: Donald Trump once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Donald Trump posts up the Spalding right into the defender's hands! Occasional mental lapses!
Joe Biden bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a university professor after their lecture notes overtime!
Stolen from Donald Trump! A film producer who let it slip through their fingers!
Joe Biden gets a technical for complaining! Hot head on full display!
Jesus Christ, this tweener, trudges off the arena. Lessons to take from this one.
Jesus Christ looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Joe Biden looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
100-95 (W)
Joe Biden fades away into position! This guy with rings on every finger not wasting any time!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Jesus Christ is automatic from the left corner! A pull-up jumper drops again!
Jesus Christ makes the stop! Stopping power of a messiah in full force!
Joe Biden serves it on a platter! A university professor serving the young scholars with style!
Jesus Christ, this swiss-army-knife type, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Rest. Joe Biden buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Rumor has it Joe Biden tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
MrBeast knocks it down! Solid as a youtuber with their camera in hand!
The energy in this building is unreal! Jesus Christ channeling palpable tension!
Harry Potter barks out defensive calls! The voice of their bare hands echoes across the palace of hoops!
Joe Biden is living proof that university professor can thrive on the den!
Jesus Christ shares the credit! Team player on and off the court!
Harry Potter and Jesus Christ swing MrBeast around by his arms like a carousel. He looks sick. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
108-99 (W)
Jesus Christ, this basketball god, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
This absolute legend Jesus Christ does it again! A deep three with effortless precision!
This all-time great Jesus Christ with a flawless defensive rotation under the basket! Intimidating!
Harry Potter sets up the easy score! Easy as a juggler setting up their bare hands!
Joe Biden reads the defense perfectly! Iron discipline and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Intermission. Jesus Christ dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Fun fact: Jesus Christ was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Jesus Christ, this all-around player, uses every inch to deliver a tear drop!
The press box buzzes about Jesus Christ! A messiah with their bare hands making headlines!
Joe Biden runs the play to perfection! Perfection of challenging the young scholars!
Joe Biden, this basketball god, answers every challenge! Eyes in the back of the head never fading!
Jesus Christ, this do-it-all player, celebrates the win! A hug with the coach! What a game!
Joe Biden and MrBeast leap onto each other like kids. Harry Potter comes sprinting in and crushes them both. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
97-101 (L)
Opening possession for MrBeast! First touch, like first touch of their camera!
Jesus Christ knocks down a devastating dunk under the basket! Ice in the veins!
Jesus Christ beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the game slipping from a messiah!
MrBeast gets the friendly rim but no luck! Even the youtuber touch can't save that one!
MrBeast rallies the troops! Rally cry of a youtuber rallying the algorithm!
Into the tunnel. Harry Potter grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Did you know Harry Potter once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
MrBeast can't deliver! Even a youtuber can't help in this the second quarter!
This All-Star caliber talent MrBeast gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
The emotion is real as Donald Trump the film producer delivers their best with their loaded checkbook!
Jesus Christ, this certified GOAT candidate, air-balls in the fourth quarter! The crowd is stunned!
Harry Potter sits alone on the bench. This living legend processing the defeat.
Joe Biden pulls his cap down over his eyes. Donald Trump doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
116-105 (W)
Harry Potter comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the juggler means business!
This world-class player MrBeast with a vintage scoop layup! The old magic is still there!
Harry Potter slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Pure God-given talent in every step!
Jesus Christ with the no-look pass! This first-ballot legend has eyes in the back of the head!
This absolute legend Jesus Christ calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Rest. Joe Biden buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Fun fact: Joe Biden got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Joe Biden, this certified GOAT candidate, drills another catch-and-shoot triple driving to the hoop! Automatic!
Post-game fireworks for Jesus Christ! Brighter than their bare hands on a perfect day!
Harry Potter picks up the assignment! Locked in, the juggler accepts the mission!
MrBeast plays with the grit of someone who captivates the algorithm daily!
What a game for MrBeast! Tomorrow's the algorithm will feel easy after this!
MrBeast grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Jesus Christ applauds. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
103-110 (L)
Harry Potter bounces the basketball pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Joe Biden misses the triple! Three-pointers aren't like triple-checking the young scholars!
MrBeast dribbles it off their foot! Their camera would never betray a youtuber like that!
MrBeast gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a youtuber's worst day on the job!
MrBeast, this big-name player, threads the needle for a devastating dunk at the top of the key!
Rest time. Joe Biden isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Fun fact: Joe Biden tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
This headliner MrBeast shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Joe Biden can't find the range! Their lecture notes has better accuracy than that!
MrBeast, this tree of a man, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
This franchise cornerstone Donald Trump can't close out! The legs are shot in transition!
MrBeast absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a youtuber knows tough days!
Jesus Christ refuses the coach's embrace. MrBeast accepts it but his body is stiff. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
108-109 (L)
Joe Biden takes the court to a hostile crowd! The university professor with their lecture notes is here!
Jesus Christ scores a double-clutch layup! Their bare hands by day, buckets by night!
Jesus Christ gives up the easy bucket! Easier than competing the game!
This potential GOAT Harry Potter shanks a thunderous slam in transition! That's uncharacteristic!
Donald Trump steals and scores! This once-in-a-lifetime player cutting the gap in the paint!
End of the first act. Donald Trump is puffing like a steam engine heading back. I've been told Donald Trump once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Joe Biden misses the game-tying shot! Even a university professor couldn't save that one!
This first-ballot legend Harry Potter hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from mid-range!
The resilience of MrBeast! A youtuber who never gives up, on or off the court!
Harry Potter can't handle the pressure! This guy with rings on every finger folds at the last second!
This household name Jesus Christ stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this household name wanted.
Donald Trump hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Harry Potter keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Donald Trump's name. Forgive me. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
106-111 (L)
Donald Trump steps onto the hardwood! From greenlighting the risky picture to this, game time!
MrBeast spins with the precision of a youtuber at work. And it's a bank shot!
Joe Biden loses the screen battle! Sometimes predictable game around the picks!
MrBeast, this colossus, gets the separation but can't finish! Injury-prone body!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Harry Potter ignites the rally! The deficit is shrinking!
Break! Joe Biden rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. They say Joe Biden has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Jesus Christ coughs it up with the game on the line! The game slipping away!
This basketball god Joe Biden stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
From their bare hands to a hook shot, Jesus Christ's range is unmatched!
Joe Biden misses the wide-open look on the final possession! This absolute legend will regret that!
Donald Trump reflects on what could have been. Shaky emotions under pressure the difference tonight.
MrBeast takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Jesus Christ doesn't drink. Throat too tight. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
77-116 (L)
Donald Trump lands the first off-balance shot! First blood! The film producer strikes first!
Joe Biden, this household name, pulls the trigger at the buzzer but no luck!
MrBeast lets fly into a dead end back to the basket! Turnover! Lack of consistency!
MrBeast, this absolute unit, gets blown by on the perimeter! Injury-prone body in the legs!
Donald Trump slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a film producer hits the workbench!
Both teams head in. Donald Trump has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Anecdote: Donald Trump tried to impress the Houston Blast-Off players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Donald Trump rattles it out! Shaking the gymnasium with their loaded checkbook intensity!
Harry Potter is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure juggler stubbornness!
Jesus Christ loses the orange! A messiah would never be this careless!
Jesus Christ attacks and kicks the stanchion! This household name losing composure!
Joe Biden consoles teammates! The heart of a university professor in that moment!
Donald Trump closes his eyes walking out. Harry Potter keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. I got a text from Donald Trump after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
82-127 (L)
Harry Potter announces themselves! The juggler has arrived and the building knows it!
Jesus Christ can't buy a bucket! Maybe the game would be easier to aim!
MrBeast tries to be too fancy and loses the Spalding! Heavy feet in the decision-making!
Donald Trump reacts too late to rotate! Occasional mental lapses on the help side!
Joe Biden storms to the bench! This first-ballot legend is visibly upset!
Off to the locker room. Jesus Christ has already drained two water bottles. Did you know Jesus Christ plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Harry Potter misses the open look! A juggler never misses the game... But misses the orange!
Harry Potter short-arms the shot from fatigue! This franchise cornerstone has nothing left!
Joe Biden, this all-around player, gets called for the carry! Lack of consistency in ball-handling!
MrBeast mouths off and picks up a T! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!
Donald Trump leaves the hardwood with dignity! The dignity of a film producer with their loaded checkbook!
Donald Trump watches the crowd file out in silence. Harry Potter prefers not to look. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
89-130 (L)
Jesus Christ opens with a scoop layup! This once-in-a-lifetime player making an early statement!
Joe Biden gets a clean look but shaky emotions under pressure costs the bucket!
This franchise cornerstone Joe Biden dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Donald Trump gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to force bad shots!
Harry Potter throws their hands up! Like a juggler when their bare hands breaks!
First half is done. Donald Trump is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Confession: Donald Trump calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
A thunderous slam attempt by Joe Biden falls short! Heavy feet in the legs!
Donald Trump gets the mercy sub! Mercy, like a film producer begging the risky picture for mercy!
This franchise cornerstone Harry Potter commits the 5-second violation! Clock management tendency to force bad shots!
MrBeast picks up the second technical! This established star ejected! Sometimes predictable game!
Despite the loss, Jesus Christ held their own with the game! The messiah fought!
MrBeast isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Donald Trump tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
86-111 (L)
This undisputed superstar Joe Biden in the starting lineup! Let's see what this undisputed superstar brings!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Harry Potter muscles up a two-handed slam but can't get it to fall!
MrBeast throws it away! A pass worse than a youtuber tossing the algorithm!
Jesus Christ gets posterized! A messiah framed by their bare hands in the worst way!
An alley-oop by Jesus Christ! The crowd erupts! Iron discipline personified!
Both teams head in. Joe Biden has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Rumor has it Joe Biden does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Joe Biden, this franchise cornerstone, refuses to high-five! Ego the size of Texas hurting the chemistry!
Harry Potter can't connect! Their bare hands in hand, sure. The basketball through the hoop, nope!
MrBeast goes to the post! That youtuber strength is showing!
Donald Trump, this do-it-all player, with tired legs from downtown! Tendency to force bad shots slowing this guy with rings on every finger down!
This living legend Joe Biden tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Harry Potter avoids the cameras like the plague. MrBeast gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Harry Potter's name. Forgive me. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
86-117 (L)
MrBeast, this towering presence, announced to huge cheers! A boiling cauldron!
Jesus Christ, this absolute legend, fumbles the finish from way beyond the arc! Back to the drawing board!
Harry Potter botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Harry Potter, this solid build, lets the shooter get free under the basket! Costly lapse!
Donald Trump, this undisputed superstar, barks at the teammate! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
The players head in. Joe Biden slips on the wet tunnel floor. Locker room intel: Joe Biden has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
MrBeast misses badly! Should have aimed like they aim their camera at the algorithm!
Joe Biden asks for ice! Cooling down, even a university professor's engine needs a rest!
Harry Potter coughs it up! A juggler's grip doesn't work on the orange!
Harry Potter mouths off at right from the tip-off! A juggler venting about the game!
Joe Biden, this tweener, hangs the head. Tough loss despite insane court vision effort.
Harry Potter turns back to look at the court one last time. Joe Biden doesn't turn around. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
85-119 (L)
Donald Trump, this do-it-all player, takes the court! The palpable tension is electric!
Jesus Christ sends it long! Too much power, not enough finesse from this messiah!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted at the buzzer!
This guy with rings on every finger Harry Potter caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Donald Trump, this undisputed superstar, with the frustrated foul! Defense that's basically a suggestion in tough moments!
Players head to the locker room. Harry Potter has tape on three fingers. The staff told me Harry Potter sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
MrBeast clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their camera hitting the algorithm!
Jesus Christ calls for the sub! Even a messiah's stamina with their bare hands has limits!
Joe Biden turns it over in the high post! Butterfingers from this university professor!
Harry Potter slams the Wilson in frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
Jesus Christ, this basketball god, takes the loss hard. Occasional mental lapses at the wrong moments.
Jesus Christ hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Joe Biden keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
89-133 (L)
This hall-of-fame lock Joe Biden comes out aggressive! Opens with a half-court heave from the left corner!
Harry Potter, this absolute legend, comes up empty! A buzzer-beater off target from the right corner!
This all-time great Jesus Christ with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Harry Potter bites on the pump fake! This global icon sent flying at the top of the key!
Donald Trump storms to the bench! Heated! This film producer doesn't handle losing well!
Both teams head in. MrBeast has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Anecdote: MrBeast tried to impress the Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Joe Biden misses the open look! This hall-of-fame lock can't believe it! Lack of consistency!
Harry Potter is visibly tired! This guy with rings on every finger needs a timeout badly!
Joe Biden dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the university professor's finest moment!
Joe Biden launches the towel! This basketball god showing occasional mental lapses!
MrBeast sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a youtuber after their camera broke!
MrBeast takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Harry Potter follows the same path. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Greek team finishes #14 (3W-12L). Better luck next season! MVP: Jesus Christ.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... Greek team!
Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Jesus Christ! Picture this: the man is massive, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Donald Trump. The man is a film producer. A freaking film producer. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with their loaded checkbook and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
Greek team finishes #14 (3W-12L). Better luck next season! MVP: Jesus Christ.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
.jpg?width=300&width=400)
.jpg?width=300&width=400)
.jpg?width=300&width=400)