My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Phoenix No-Defense | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | My Team | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's LeBron James. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 206 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Jesus Christ. The man is a messiah. A freaking messiah. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Let's address the elephant in the room: the budget is OBSCENE. We're so deep into the luxury tax that the team accountant quit, got replaced, and the replacement quit too. The owner doesn't give a damn, he wants the ring and he's willing to burn every last dollar to get it. The result? An absolute dream roster. Every name on this lineup card sends shivers down opponents' spines. It's like playing NBA 2K with the sliders maxed out. It's almost unfair. And tonight, it probably will be.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
87-114 (L)
Stephen Curry takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, gets the look but can't convert from the left corner!
Stephen Curry loses the ball in traffic! This guy everybody knows can't afford that!
Michael Jordan, this absolute unit, gets blown by on the perimeter! Shaky emotions under pressure in the legs!
Jesus Christ lays it in softly! Touch softer than a messiah's hands on the job!
Halftime whistle! Jesus Christ slides down against the hallway wall. Rumor has it Jesus Christ tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
This player making noise Magneto hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from downtown!
LeBron James, this certified GOAT candidate, pulls the trigger from the left corner but no luck!
Michael Jordan, this absolute unit, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
This established player Magneto calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Injury-prone body taking its toll!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, trudges off the floor. Lessons to take from this one.
Magneto isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Michael Jordan tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
117-96 (W)
Jesus Christ lands the first pull-up jumper! First blood! The messiah strikes first!
A deep three from Stephen Curry! That's unreal swagger at the highest level!
Magneto with the chase-down defensive stop! What athleticism!
This well-respected player Magneto with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Michael Jordan uses the hesitation dribble! Silky smooth technique creating separation!
Both teams head in. Michael Jordan has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Juicy intel: Michael Jordan turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Michael Jordan, this once-in-a-lifetime player, operates from downtown with a fadeaway jumper! Clinic!
The energy in this building is unreal! Michael Jordan channeling palpable tension!
Jesus Christ tips the rebound to a teammate! Selfless play from this messiah!
LeBron James drives with conviction! This global icon believes tonight is the night!
Michael Jordan, this hall-of-fame lock, embraces the teammates! A raised fist! Sweet victory!
Jesus Christ rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. LeBron James does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
91-101 (L)
This headliner Stephen Curry comes out aggressive! Opens with a step-back three from the left corner!
LeBron James, this walking skyscraper, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this basketball god!
Magneto with a wild pass that sails out! This legit talent giving it away!
Jesus Christ fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a messiah chasing the game!
Stephen Curry, this established star, exploits the mismatch for a buzzer-beater! Too easy!
The players head to the locker room. Magneto is sweating like a racehorse. Staff confession: Magneto is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Michael Jordan slams the pill in frustration! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
This established player Magneto rattles it out! So close yet so far from downtown!
Jesus Christ communicates the switch! Clear as a messiah's instructions!
Jesus Christ looks to the bench for relief! Relief like a messiah relieved of their bare hands!
Michael Jordan walks off in silence. This first-ballot legend gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Magneto shakes Michael Jordan's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
91-110 (L)
Michael Jordan, this undisputed superstar, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Magneto, this player on the come-up, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Jesus Christ dishes carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
LeBron James gets posted up and scored on! This living legend overpowered!
Magneto knocks down a pull-up jumper under the basket! Ice in the veins!
Into the tunnel. Magneto grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Exclusive: Magneto was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Jesus Christ stares in disbelief! The look of a messiah who just lost everything!
Magneto rises up but it's well off! Shaky emotions under pressure under fatigue!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Michael Jordan, this tower, laboring up and down! Occasional mental lapses draining the energy!
LeBron James, this big fella, hangs the head. Tough loss despite an unmatched feel for the game effort.
Michael Jordan's eyes are red, jaw tight. Stephen Curry apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
94-97 (L)
Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, embraces the immense pressure! Game on!
LeBron James pulls up and drills a step-back three! Can't teach that!
LeBron James, this titan, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over sometimes predictable game!
Magneto, this established player, with a contested catch-and-shoot triple that misses in transition!
Magneto, this all-around player, energizes the crowd! A hostile crowd! Comeback vibes!
Rest. Magneto buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. I've been told Magneto always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Stephen Curry gets stripped on a clutch free throw! That's gonna be a costly turnover!
Michael Jordan dribbles the towel! This global icon showing injury-prone body!
Win or lose, Stephen Curry has earned respect tonight! This multi-time All-Star warrior spirit!
Jesus Christ loses the handle in the dying seconds! The messiah grip vanished!
This legit talent Magneto leaves the arena with head held high. Fought to the end.
Michael Jordan scratches the back of his neck nervously. Stephen Curry has the look of someone who has seen things. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
123-91 (W)
The game begins and Stephen Curry is ready! You can see eyes in the back of the head written all over his face!
A free throw by Magneto at the top of the key! A killer instinct in every fiber!
Michael Jordan strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
This legit talent Magneto with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!
This potential GOAT Michael Jordan with the savvy veteran play! Freakish explosiveness experience showing!
Halftime. The physio pounces on LeBron James to massage his thighs. Confession: LeBron James calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Michael Jordan fades away the Spalding with purpose! A half-court heave! This once-in-a-lifetime player means business!
The crowd is on its feet! A crowd fully behind them as Magneto takes the court!
This headliner Stephen Curry unites the locker room! Silky smooth technique captain's mentality!
Jesus Christ reminds us that greatness comes from loving what you do! The messiah knows!
That's the game! Magneto finishes with a monster performance! This guy with a proven track record victorious!
Stephen Curry mimes popping a champagne bottle. Michael Jordan mimes chugging straight from it. Did you know that Michael Jordan practices volunteer firefighter on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
103-105 (L)
Game time! Stephen Curry and this established star ready to put on a show at the gym!
LeBron James, this global icon, knifes through for a bucket on the low block! Wow!
LeBron James bites on the pump fake! This absolute legend sent flying at half court!
LeBron James, this absolute legend, sends the basketball wide! The touch is off tonight!
Michael Jordan forces the turnover! This basketball god creating opportunities on both ends!
Halftime! Jesus Christ looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Anecdote of the day: Jesus Christ forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Magneto can't hit the go-ahead! Heavy feet when the lights are brightest!
Stephen Curry, this solid build, throws the hands up! Exasperated at the buzzer!
Jesus Christ plays with the grit of someone who competes the game daily!
Stephen Curry can't convert in the third quarter! This certified bucket shrinks in the moment!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this guy with rings on every finger wanted.
LeBron James sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Magneto puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. I learned backstage that Magneto also does volunteer firefighter on weekends. That explains those reflexes. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
105-103 (W)
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, announced to huge cheers! A hostile crowd!
LeBron James, this absolute unit, contests everything from way beyond the arc! Silky smooth technique on full display!
LeBron James pulls up the pill but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Michael Jordan drives to the rack for a double-clutch layup! Can't contain this mountain of a man!
Jesus Christ overloads one side! Loading up with messiah strategy!
That's a cut. Stephen Curry stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Bus driver's confession: Stephen Curry raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Magneto, this smooth operator, comes up big! A double-clutch layup at the jump ball! Legend!
Magneto forces the step-out-of-bounds! This league veteran hawking the ball!
A packed arena fills the arena! This first-ballot legend LeBron James feeds off the energy!
Magneto delivers in the clutch! A devastating dunk from the left corner! This legit talent is ice cold!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry seals the deal! Victory with silky smooth technique!
Jesus Christ, LeBron James, and Stephen Curry pose for a group photo at center court. Nobody has a phone. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
86-120 (L)
Michael Jordan posts up onto the floor! The crowd roars for this certified GOAT candidate!
Jesus Christ misses the bunny! A messiah dropping the game from point-blank!
Magneto dribbles the orange right to the defense! Costly mistake by this player making noise!
LeBron James, this tree of a man, fouls unnecessarily at the top of the key! Tendency to rush!
Magneto drives and kicks the stanchion! This seasoned vet losing composure!
Halftime. Stephen Curry is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Rumor has it Stephen Curry talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Magneto, this versatile guy, gets the look driving to the hoop but the lid's on the rim!
Magneto asks for the ball to slow the pace! This well-respected player needs air!
Jesus Christ gets picked! A messiah getting the game stolen in broad daylight!
Jesus Christ, this generational talent, refuses to high-five! Lack of consistency hurting the chemistry!
Jesus Christ dishes to the tunnel in disappointment. This once-in-a-lifetime player will learn from this.
Michael Jordan's gaze is cold, distant. Stephen Curry's gaze is hot, angry. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
87-124 (L)
Tip-off! Magneto gets us started! Let's go!
Magneto fires a two-handed slam from downtown but can't connect! Sometimes predictable game showing!
This respected competitor Magneto commits the 5-second violation! Clock management shaky emotions under pressure!
Stephen Curry gambles for the steal and pays the price! Heavy feet!
This guy with a proven track record Magneto slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, LeBron James picks up the pace. Did you know LeBron James knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Denver Horse-Track's colors. By accident, obviously. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
This household name Michael Jordan throws up a prayer from way beyond the arc! Not answered!
LeBron James is gassed! This potential GOAT bent over at half court! Heavy feet catching up!
Magneto lets fly into a trap! Sometimes predictable game when reading the defense!
Magneto, this well-respected player, with the frustrated foul! Defense that's basically a suggestion in tough moments!
Magneto had the chances but couldn't convert. This name that's buzzing left wanting.
LeBron James sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Stephen Curry winces. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
81-120 (L)
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, sets the tone immediately! Unreal swagger from the jump!
This global icon LeBron James short-arms a deep three along the baseline! Not enough lift!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry with turnover number lengths ahead! Ego the size of Texas is piling up!
Magneto gets burned on the drive! Hot head in lateral movement!
This certified GOAT candidate Jesus Christ throws an elbow in frustration! Hot head on full display!
Break. Michael Jordan asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Fun fact: Michael Jordan blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Jesus Christ misses the free throw! Competing the game under pressure is easier!
Jesus Christ is clearly fatigued! The contest of this plus the contest of competing the game!
This absolute legend Jesus Christ gets pickpocketed back to the basket! Sloppy handling!
Magneto blows past angrily after the turnover! This hooper's hooper spiraling!
This all-time great LeBron James shakes hands and moves on. In the end, defense that's basically a suggestion proved costly.
Michael Jordan clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Stephen Curry fidgets with his wristband nervously. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
115-100 (W)
Jesus Christ sets the tone early! The messiah came to play tonight!
LeBron James, this once-in-a-lifetime player, reads the play perfectly and delivers a bucket!
This living legend Jesus Christ forces the bad pass! That dawg mentality creating turnovers!
Magneto dribbles the basketball through traffic! What a pass by this seasoned vet!
This undisputed superstar LeBron James uses the floater over this 7-footer coverage! Smart!
Halftime. Stephen Curry wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Anecdote: Stephen Curry once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Magneto, this smooth operator, uses every inch to deliver a deep three!
An electric crowd as LeBron James, this towering presence, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Michael Jordan, this 7-footer, boxes out for the teammate! This absolute legend doing the dirty work!
Magneto penetrates like a player possessed! Pure God-given talent unleashed!
Michael Jordan dunks in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Stephen Curry does the floss while Magneto spins like a top. Jesus Christ just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
77-116 (L)
This living legend Michael Jordan gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Magneto forces a bad fadeaway jumper! This well-respected player needs to trust teammates!
Magneto coughs up the Spalding! Heavy feet strikes again off the pick and roll!
Stephen Curry turns the head and loses the man! This All-Star caliber talent napping defensively!
This seasoned vet Magneto fouls hard out of frustration! Sometimes predictable game showing!
The players disappear. LeBron James has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Fun fact: LeBron James blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
LeBron James forces a free throw along the baseline! This generational talent trying too hard!
Jesus Christ gets the mercy sub! Mercy, like a messiah begging the game for mercy!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, gets stripped at the top of the key! Shaky emotions under pressure exposed!
Jesus Christ can't mask the disappointment! This franchise cornerstone wearing it on the sleeve!
Michael Jordan launches past the media. This all-time great not in the mood to talk.
Magneto is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Michael Jordan waits at the tunnel entrance. Behind the scenes, I learned Michael Jordan was also a volunteer firefighter in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
94-130 (L)
This first-ballot legend LeBron James catches the basketball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Magneto, this combo guard, can't finish from way beyond the arc! That one stings!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
LeBron James mutters to himself walking back! This household name fighting inner demons!
Halftime whistle! LeBron James slides down against the hallway wall. Fun fact: LeBron James got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
LeBron James, this once-in-a-lifetime player, comes up empty! A reverse layup off target at the top of the key!
This generational talent LeBron James can barely jump! The springs are gone from the right corner!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, steps out of bounds with the ball! Mental lapse!
Stephen Curry storms to the bench! This certified bucket is visibly upset!
This hall-of-fame lock Michael Jordan tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Magneto kicks his towel across the floor. Michael Jordan has already left for the locker room, alone. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
78-123 (L)
Stephen Curry fires up the crowd to open the game! This multi-time All-Star starting strong!
This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry misses the mark! A buzzer beater goes begging at the top of the key!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, gets called for the carry! Tendency to force bad shots in ball-handling!
Jesus Christ left in the dust! Even a messiah moves faster than that!
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Michael Jordan picks up the pace. Did you know? Michael Jordan tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
LeBron James with the contested sky hook from the left corner! No good! Bad selection!
Jesus Christ misses from fatigue! Tired arms from competing the game all week!
Magneto with the errant pass! This up-and-coming baller needs to settle down!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Michael Jordan, this generational talent, takes the loss hard. Ego the size of Texas at the wrong moments.
Michael Jordan watches the crowd file out in silence. Stephen Curry prefers not to look. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
My Team finishes #13 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's LeBron James. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 206 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Jesus Christ. The man is a messiah. A freaking messiah. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
Let's address the elephant in the room: the budget is OBSCENE. We're so deep into the luxury tax that the team accountant quit, got replaced, and the replacement quit too. The owner doesn't give a damn, he wants the ring and he's willing to burn every last dollar to get it. The result? An absolute dream roster. Every name on this lineup card sends shivers down opponents' spines. It's like playing NBA 2K with the sliders maxed out. It's almost unfair. And tonight, it probably will be.
My Team finishes #13 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
_(cropped).jpg?width=300&width=400)
_(cropped2).jpg?width=300&width=400)
.jpg?width=300&width=400)