TeamBranch Logo
TeamBranch

big papasbasketball_team 🇺🇸

5 members · TeamBranch

Season Journal

Standings

#TeamWLPts
1Detroit Engine-Roar14128
2Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest13226
3San Antonio Skyscrapers13226
4Denver Horse-Track11422
5big papas10520
6Cleveland Twin-Towers8716
7Boston Ring-Chasers7814
8Houston Blast-Off7814
9New York Over-Timers7814
10Los Angeles Nursing-Home7814
11Toronto Border-Patrol7814
12Minnesota Ice-Wall51010
13Philadelphia Injury-Report4118
14Phoenix No-Defense3126
15Miami Heart-Attack3126
16Orlando Magic-Beans1142

Pre-season

Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... Big papas! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but LeBron James is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 206 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Donald Trump, his brother-in-law and a film producer by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying their loaded checkbook and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Donald Trump can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the risky picture to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench. The budget is simple: it's not a budget anymore, it's a manifesto. The owner said "I don't give a damn about consequences" and he proved it. We're in financial territory that even Adam Silver didn't anticipate when he wrote the rules. Every extra dollar spent costs five dollars in tax, and guess what, they spend WAY too many extra dollars. The roster is an infernal machine, the bench is a thing of beauty, but the price is zero future. No picks, no possible trades, no plan B. It's the championship or a wall at 200 miles per hour. There is no middle ground.

Matchday 1vs Detroit Engine-Roar

83-116 (L)

Michael Maize checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!

Donald Trump misses the bunny! A film producer dropping the risky picture from point-blank!

Kobe Bryant throws it into the stands! What was that from this living legend!

Kobe Bryant reacts too late to rotate! Limited stamina on the help side!

Michael Maize storms to the bench! Heated! This actor doesn't handle losing well!

The players disappear into the tunnel. Donald Trump asks for an ice pack. Anecdote: Donald Trump threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.

A reverse layup attempt by LeBron James falls short! Shaky emotions under pressure in the legs!

This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan is a warrior but the body says no! This ball game of war!

This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan gets pickpocketed under the basket! Sloppy handling!

Michael Jordan storms to the bench! This generational talent is visibly upset!

This certified GOAT candidate Michael Jordan congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this certified GOAT candidate.

Michael Maize whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Donald Trump nods without conviction. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'

Matchday 2vs Miami Heart-Attack

120-101 (W)

Michael Jordan looks dialed in from the start! Eyes in the back of the head preparation showing!

Michael Maize, this dude out of nowhere, with the exclamation-point two-handed slam! Game changer!

This hall-of-fame lock Kobe Bryant with a critical stop! A sky-high block when it counts!

Michael Maize with the give-and-go! Teamwork from embodying the tragic hero together!

Kobe Bryant goes to work to the right spot! Unreal swagger off-ball movement!

Break! Donald Trump heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Fun fact: Donald Trump got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.

Michael Maize with the step-back catch-and-shoot triple! Creating space like an actor with their battered script!

Donald Trump throws the sneakers to the crowd! Better than throwing the risky picture!

LeBron James blows past the rock with patience! This undisputed superstar trusting the system!

This once-in-a-lifetime player LeBron James embraces the pressure! This is what greatness looks like!

Kobe Bryant, this beanpole, acknowledges the fans! A Playoff atmosphere! A victory dance!

Michael Maize charges toward the crowd. Donald Trump catches him just before he dives into the stands. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.

Matchday 3vs Orlando Magic-Beans

122-95 (W)

This franchise cornerstone Kobe Bryant catches the damn ball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!

Michael Jordan, this walking skyscraper, elevates for a monster fadeaway jumper!

This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan takes the charge at the buzzer! Gutsy play!

This basketball god Kobe Bryant with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!

Donald Trump triggers the fast break! Launching the offense with film producer urgency!

Rest. Michael Jordan buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Fun fact: Michael Jordan tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.

Donald Trump, this tweener, rises above and hammers a euro-step!

LeBron James, this global icon, plays to the crowd! A hostile crowd is contagious!

This guy with rings on every finger Kobe Bryant celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!

Michael Jordan has found another gear! This generational talent shifting into overdrive!

Donald Trump punches the air at game's end! Victory! The film producer did it!

LeBron James does a handstand. Donald Trump holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'

Matchday 4vs Philadelphia Injury-Report

117-86 (W)

Michael Maize sets the tone early! The actor came to play tonight!

Michael Maize, this do-it-all player, carves up the defense for a pull-up jumper! Beautiful!

Kobe Bryant with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!

Donald Trump hits the triple! Three buckets, three cheers for this film producer turned baller!

Michael Jordan a charge taken with authority! This walking skyscraper protecting the paint!

Break. Michael Maize collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Word is Michael Maize sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.

Michael Maize finishes with flair! Showmanship of an actor presenting the tragic hero!

Kobe Bryant and the starters head to the bench! Job done, game over!

Kobe Bryant, this certified GOAT candidate, waves off the screen and runs into it anyway! Classic!

LeBron James posts up and celebrates! A salute to the fans from way beyond the arc! The crowd erupts!

This household name Kobe Bryant raises the arms! The win is in the books! A slide across the hardwood!

LeBron James takes a bow for the crowd. Donald Trump bows to LeBron James. The nobility of basketball. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.

Matchday 5vs Phoenix No-Defense

129-91 (W)

Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, takes the court! The palpable tension is electric!

Donald Trump with another floater! You can't stop this man!

Michael Jordan, this mammoth, drops the dime! Unreal swagger passing on display!

Kobe Bryant with an incredible step-back three from way beyond the arc! Standing ovation!

Donald Trump, this solid build, blankets the shooter back to the basket! No daylight!

Break! Michael Jordan rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Intel: Michael Jordan refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.

The technical flair of Donald Trump recalls their film producer days. A buzzer beater! Sublime!

Michael Jordan dribbles and it's too easy! The lead is ballooning! Mercy rule!

This franchise cornerstone LeBron James forgets the play call! Looking at the bench confused!

Michael Maize, this all-around player, takes a bow! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! This raw talent knows that was special!

This all-time great LeBron James led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!

Michael Jordan throws chalk powder like LeBron. Kobe Bryant coughs for two minutes straight. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'

Matchday 6vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home

106-113 (L)

Kobe Bryant, this undisputed superstar, draws first blood! A pull-up jumper to start!

A bucket by LeBron James in transition is way off! Tough night for this certified GOAT candidate!

Donald Trump throws it out of bounds! Like launching their loaded checkbook into the void!

Donald Trump, this swiss-army-knife type, gets exploited in the switch! Tendency to force bad shots exposed in the mismatch!

Kobe Bryant pulls up and drills a bank shot! Can't teach that!

End of the second quarter. Michael Maize is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Confession: Michael Maize calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.

LeBron James launches angrily after the turnover! This potential GOAT spiraling!

Donald Trump can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the risky picture, a film producer always hits!

Michael Jordan, this living legend, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a sky hook!

LeBron James is cramping up! This franchise cornerstone trying to shake it off! Tendency to force bad shots!

Michael Maize shakes hands through the pain! An actor who respects their battered script and the game!

LeBron James sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Donald Trump winces. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.

Matchday 7vs Toronto Border-Patrol

123-77 (W)

This potential GOAT LeBron James in the starting lineup! Let's see what this potential GOAT brings!

Michael Jordan dribbles the orange into a tear drop! Pure God-given talent shining through!

This undisputed superstar LeBron James with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!

LeBron James hits a two-handed slam! An unmatched feel for the game proving to be the difference tonight!

Michael Maize swats it away! A rebound in traffic with that actor strength!

Back to the locker room. LeBron James punches his locker. Intel: LeBron James refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.

Michael Maize knocks down an alley-oop from the right corner! Ice in the veins!

Michael Jordan explodes without breaking a sweat! This once-in-a-lifetime player cruise control!

Michael Maize, this dude out of nowhere, slips on a wet spot! Ice skating at the top of the key!

Kobe Bryant throws the finger guns at the crowd! A fist pump toward the bench after a scoop layup!

That's the game! Michael Maize finishes with a monster performance! This hungry young player victorious!

LeBron James and Donald Trump pretend to fish Michael Maize out of the crowd. They pull hard. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.

Matchday 8vs Minnesota Ice-Wall

103-114 (L)

LeBron James fades away into position! This absolute legend not wasting any time!

A scoop layup from Michael Maize catches the back rim and pops out! So close!

Kobe Bryant fires away the leather right to the defense! Costly mistake by this guy with rings on every finger!

Michael Jordan gets burned on the drive! Lack of consistency in lateral movement!

Michael Jordan, this certified GOAT candidate, absolutely nails a buzzer-beater back to the basket! Take a bow!

Off to the locker room. Michael Maize has already drained two water bottles. Fun fact: Michael Maize is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.

This basketball god Michael Jordan can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!

Michael Jordan, this guy with rings on every finger, pulls the trigger from way beyond the arc but no luck!

Michael Maize draws the double team! Attracting attention, the actor is a magnet out there!

Michael Jordan, this basketball god, sucking wind after that sprint! This ball game of battle!

Despite the loss, Donald Trump held their own with the risky picture! The film producer fought!

Donald Trump's gaze is cold, distant. Kobe Bryant's gaze is hot, angry. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'

Matchday 9vs Houston Blast-Off

116-92 (W)

Tip-off! Michael Jordan gets us started! Let's go!

LeBron James, this first-ballot legend, operates from the right corner with a layup! Clinic!

Kobe Bryant, this oversized freak, contests without fouling! Clean as a whistle!

Kobe Bryant posts up the basketball through traffic! What a pass by this first-ballot legend!

Kobe Bryant drives into the right spacing! Iron discipline and elite court awareness!

Halftime whistle! Michael Maize grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Did you know? Michael Maize once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.

LeBron James fires away and fires a pull-up jumper! This mountain of a man lighting it up!

This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant turns the hostile crowd into stunned silence!

Michael Maize, this who-is-this-guy player, rotates on defense! Iron discipline team commitment!

Michael Maize, this surprise package, is playing with nothing to lose! Watch out, this surprise package is dangerous!

Michael Maize embraces teammates! The bond of embodying the tragic hero together!

Kobe Bryant jumps into LeBron James's arms without warning. They both go down. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.

Matchday 10vs Denver Horse-Track

95-125 (L)

This generational talent Donald Trump gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!

Brick! Michael Jordan misfires in the paint! Injury-prone body at the worst time!

Michael Jordan with the lazy pass! Lack of consistency leading to easy points!

Michael Maize beaten to the spot! Slower than an actor on a Monday morning!

Kobe Bryant, this franchise cornerstone, reads the play perfectly and delivers a step-back three!

The players head to the locker room. LeBron James is sweating like a racehorse. They say LeBron James eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Back in action! The coach got the message across.

Michael Jordan fades away and kicks the stanchion! This certified GOAT candidate losing composure!

Donald Trump forces a reverse layup from the right corner! This certified GOAT candidate trying too hard!

Michael Maize uses a fast-break offense brilliantly! Strategy from embodying the tragic hero!

Kobe Bryant short-arms the shot from fatigue! This household name has nothing left!

Michael Jordan, this hall-of-fame lock, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.

Kobe Bryant clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Michael Maize fidgets with his wristband nervously. I learned that Kobe Bryant's father was an actor. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.

Matchday 11vs New York Over-Timers

117-93 (W)

Michael Jordan, this certified GOAT candidate, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!

What a play by Kobe Bryant! A catch-and-shoot triple in transition! This global icon is cooking!

Michael Jordan times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A left-handed block at the top of the key!

Donald Trump floats a perfect pass! Floating it with a film producer's soft touch!

Michael Jordan reads the defense perfectly! That dawg mentality and a sky-high basketball IQ!

Halftime whistle. Donald Trump high-fives his teammates on the way out. Juicy intel: Donald Trump turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.

This absolute legend LeBron James punishes the defense with a two-handed slam off the pick and roll!

Michael Maize feeds off an incredible energy! The energy of an actor fueled by the tragic hero!

Michael Jordan, this household name, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!

Michael Jordan posts up with purpose! Night-in night-out consistency driving this team forward!

Donald Trump, this generational talent, embraces the teammates! A chest bump! Sweet victory!

Kobe Bryant pretends to faint from happiness. Michael Jordan pretends to call 911. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'

Matchday 12vs Cleveland Twin-Towers

102-97 (W)

Michael Jordan opens with a sky hook! This household name making an early statement!

Michael Maize scores in the paint! A tear drop with ridiculous creativity! Brilliant!

Kobe Bryant with the suffocating defense! This living legend is a wall out there!

Donald Trump racks up the helpers! Dishing like it's their film producer... Because it is!

Donald Trump traps with the double! Trapping them, the film producer knows how to corner prey!

Halftime. The doctor examines Kobe Bryant's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Anecdote: Kobe Bryant threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Break's over, the players take their positions.

Michael Maize, this tweener, uses every inch to deliver a buzzer-beater!

Post-game fireworks for Donald Trump! Brighter than their loaded checkbook on a perfect day!

Kobe Bryant finds the open teammate! This all-time great making everyone better!

Donald Trump spins into the record books! This all-time great making memories!

Donald Trump can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!

Michael Maize and Donald Trump attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. LeBron James films the whole thing. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.

Matchday 13vs Boston Ring-Chasers

104-94 (W)

Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, announced to huge cheers! Palpable tension!

This generational talent Michael Jordan finishes with authority! A buzzer-beater driving to the hoop!

LeBron James slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! An unmatched feel for the game in every step!

Michael Jordan with the skip pass! Assist leads to an open finger roll!

Kobe Bryant, this beanpole, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!

The players head to the locker room. Donald Trump is sweating like a racehorse. Did you know Donald Trump keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!

Kobe Bryant, this once-in-a-lifetime player, sinks a reverse layup with surgical precision off the pick and roll!

The energy in this building is unreal! Kobe Bryant channeling wild stands!

Donald Trump, this basketball god, communicates the switch! Iron discipline and vocal leadership!

This living legend Donald Trump silences the noise! Eyes in the back of the head locked in! Nothing else matters!

Kobe Bryant, this absolute unit, takes the final bow! A salute to the fans! Dominant display!

Michael Jordan rips the net off the rim. Michael Maize wraps it around his neck like a scarf. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'

Matchday 14vs San Antonio Skyscrapers

94-118 (L)

Kobe Bryant takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!

Donald Trump short on the attempt! Needs the reach of their loaded checkbook!

Michael Maize dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the actor's finest moment!

Donald Trump gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to rush!

Kobe Bryant scores at will! A buzzer beater under the basket! This undisputed superstar domination!

Halftime. Kobe Bryant throws his towel on the floor walking in. Exclusive info: Kobe Bryant is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.

Michael Jordan slams the Spalding in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!

Donald Trump misfires again! Having the risky picture-shaped night!

Michael Maize slows the pace when the team needs it! This newcomer tempo control!

LeBron James misses from fatigue! This first-ballot legend can't get the elevation from way beyond the arc!

Donald Trump wipes a tear! A film producer who poured everything into the effort!

LeBron James sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Michael Jordan has his head in his hands. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Michael Jordan. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.

Matchday 15vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest

98-96 (W)

This household name LeBron James comes out aggressive! Opens with a pull-up jumper from downtown!

Donald Trump anticipates the cut and deflects the basketball! This all-time great reading minds!

Michael Maize shanks it from the paint! Embodying the tragic hero uses different muscles!

This living legend LeBron James converts driving to the hoop! A sky hook right on cue!

This household name LeBron James calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!

Halftime whistle! Kobe Bryant grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Anecdote: Kobe Bryant lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.

LeBron James with the go-ahead alley-oop! This all-time great seizes the moment!

LeBron James, this tree of a man, with the clutch charge taken! The crowd is on its feet!

This living legend Donald Trump brings a Finals-like atmosphere to a new level! Incredible scene!

Kobe Bryant, this franchise cornerstone, keeps the team alive! An alley-oop in the final quarter!

Michael Maize carries the team to victory! Strong as an actor on a Monday morning!

Donald Trump does a belly slide on the court. LeBron James does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. Behind the scenes, I learned LeBron James was also an actor in a past life. You can feel it in the game. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'

big papas ends the season #5 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.

🏀
#5
Rank
10W-5L
Record
+121
+/-
386
Team Score
122.8M$
Salary
LeBron James
MVP

Season Journal

Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... Big papas!

Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but LeBron James is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 206 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery.

But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.

Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Donald Trump, his brother-in-law and a film producer by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying their loaded checkbook and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Donald Trump can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the risky picture to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench.

The budget is simple: it's not a budget anymore, it's a manifesto. The owner said "I don't give a damn about consequences" and he proved it. We're in financial territory that even Adam Silver didn't anticipate when he wrote the rules. Every extra dollar spent costs five dollars in tax, and guess what, they spend WAY too many extra dollars. The roster is an infernal machine, the bench is a thing of beauty, but the price is zero future. No picks, no possible trades, no plan B. It's the championship or a wall at 200 miles per hour. There is no middle ground.

🏆

big papas ends the season #5 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.

💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)

💭

No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!

Do you like this creation?

Share it with your friends!