My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | My Team | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Miami Heart-Attack | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
Pre-season
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Shaquille O'Neal on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 216 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Barry Allen is on this team. Barry Allen, who is a superhero and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with bare hands under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. Financially, this team is operating in another dimension. The salary cap? Never heard of it. The luxury tax? Paid with a smile. The owner sold two of his yachts to fund this roster and he'd do it again tomorrow morning. Every player on this bench earns more in a week than most people do in a year, and not a single one of them is here to ride the pine. This is a team built to win NOW. Not tomorrow, not next season. Tonight.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
100-98 (W)
This household name Shaquille O'Neal opens the scoring! A devastating dunk! Early advantage!
This established player Barry Allen with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
Shaquille O'Neal with the contested hook shot in the paint! No good! Bad selection!
This living legend Shaquille O'Neal erupts for a reverse layup! The floodgates are open!
Barry Allen, this dude putting the league on notice, orchestrates the delay game! Night-in night-out consistency in action!
Time to breathe. LeBron James has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Did you know? LeBron James tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Stephen Curry with the pressure-proof bucket from mid-range! In the dying seconds!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, covers ground to get the sky-high block! Wow!
The building is buzzing! Batman and a crowd fully behind them creating magic!
Barry Allen, this established player, rises to the occasion! A floater off the pick and roll! Huge!
Batman tallied double figures! Double the game, double the glory!
Batman mimes popping a champagne bottle. Stephen Curry mimes chugging straight from it. Did you know that Stephen Curry practices superhero on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
127-93 (W)
This once-in-a-lifetime player Shaquille O'Neal in the starting lineup! Let's see what this once-in-a-lifetime player brings!
Stephen Curry knocks down an off-balance shot at the top of the key! Ice in the veins!
This living legend Shaquille O'Neal zips the pass through! Another dime from this colossus!
Shaquille O'Neal with the crafty deep three! Night-in night-out consistency on display!
This hall-of-fame lock Shaquille O'Neal with a charge taken back to the basket! Intimidating!
Halftime! Barry Allen looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Did you know Barry Allen started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Batman finishes with style! Years of competing the game built those hands!
Batman piles it on! Stacking buckets like it's nothing! The superhero is dominant!
Stephen Curry trips over the ball! Even this top-tier talent has those moments!
Stephen Curry high-fives everyone on the bench! A fist pump toward the bench! The energy is contagious!
Barry Allen, this guy with a proven track record, with the post-game interview smile! Iron discipline all night!
Batman drops to his knees and kisses the court. LeBron James pretends to gag. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
112-84 (W)
Barry Allen steps onto the arena! From competing the game to this, game time!
A buzzer beater! Barry Allen cannot be stopped tonight! This player making noise is locked in!
This solid pro Barry Allen comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
Batman finds the rolling big! Rolling with the momentum of a superhero on fire!
Barry Allen adjusts the tempo! Controlling the rhythm like a veteran superhero!
Finally a breather. Batman has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Rumor has it Batman tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Barry Allen drills it at the buzzer! That superhero precision with their bare hands pays off!
Barry Allen in immense pressure! This player on the come-up has been waiting for this stage!
Batman tips the rebound to a teammate! Selfless play from this superhero!
LeBron James is the protagonist tonight! This global icon authoring a masterpiece!
That's the game! Batman finishes with a monster performance! This first-ballot legend victorious!
LeBron James and Batman stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
122-93 (W)
This all-time great LeBron James means business! Fast start on the low block!
Shaquille O'Neal, this absolute legend, with the exclamation-point hook shot! Game changer!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, swats it into the third row! A sky-high block!
This all-time great LeBron James leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
Shaquille O'Neal reads the defense perfectly! Pure God-given talent and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Halftime. Batman is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Exclusive info: Batman is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Batman adds to the total! A superhero who always exceeds expectations!
The energy in this building is unreal! LeBron James channeling a standing ovation!
Shaquille O'Neal, this mountain of a man, sets the perfect screen! Silky smooth technique for the team!
This is the Shaquille O'Neal game! This first-ballot legend taking over in the second half!
This potential GOAT Shaquille O'Neal led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Barry Allen pretends to faint from happiness. Batman pretends to call 911. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
118-74 (W)
Tip-off! Stephen Curry gets us started! Let's go!
Shaquille O'Neal rises up and fires a pull-up jumper! This absolute unit lighting it up!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James finds the open man! Assist and a step-back three!
LeBron James, this all-time great, drops a free throw driving to the hoop! Pure artistry!
Batman defends the post! Sturdy as a superhero braced for impact!
Well-deserved break. Shaquille O'Neal looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Intel: Shaquille O'Neal refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
This once-in-a-lifetime player Shaquille O'Neal does it again! A euro-step with effortless precision!
This All-Star caliber talent Stephen Curry puts the exclamation point! A buzzer beater at the buzzer!
Batman confused the scorers table for the game checkout! Easy mistake!
Barry Allen points to the crowd after an and-one! This one's for every superhero out there!
Shaquille O'Neal sits on the bench with a smile! This household name job well done!
Stephen Curry does a belly slide on the court. Batman does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. Behind the scenes, I learned Batman was also a superhero in a past life. You can feel it in the game. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
119-93 (W)
Shaquille O'Neal explodes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this guy with rings on every finger!
Stephen Curry attacks from the left corner and finishes with a floater! Too good!
Batman deflects the pass! Redirecting with superhero instincts!
Barry Allen dishes a beautiful pass! Special delivery from this superhero!
Shaquille O'Neal, this long boy, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
The players leave the court. Barry Allen clings to the tunnel railing. Small detail: Barry Allen wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, elevates for a monster floater!
You can feel a Playoff atmosphere through the screen! LeBron James in the spotlight!
This certified bucket Stephen Curry claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this certified bucket!
This dude putting the league on notice Barry Allen refuses to lose! The will of a champion!
LeBron James, this franchise cornerstone, embraces the teammates! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Sweet victory!
Batman makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Barry Allen makes a bigger heart. Shaquille O'Neal makes a massive heart. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
125-86 (W)
Batman starts in the role player! Playing the role player the way a superhero plays with their bare hands!
A floater from downtown by Shaquille O'Neal! This giant with the long range!
LeBron James launches into the lane and kicks out! Ridiculous creativity and great decision-making!
Shaquille O'Neal converts a tough hook shot driving to the hoop! Skill level: elite!
LeBron James deflects the pass and starts the break! This once-in-a-lifetime player defense to offense!
End of the first act. Batman is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Little secret: Batman watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
LeBron James attacks the Spalding beautifully for a two-handed slam! What touch!
Shaquille O'Neal even the deep bench is scoring! Complete team effort tonight!
Shaquille O'Neal fires away and the mouthguard falls apart! Wardrobe malfunction!
Batman, this smooth operator, takes a bow! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This first-ballot legend knows that was special!
LeBron James crosses over in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Batman mimes popping a champagne bottle. Shaquille O'Neal mimes chugging straight from it. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
135-89 (W)
Shaquille O'Neal, this towering presence, takes the court! The Finals-like atmosphere is electric!
Shaquille O'Neal, this beanpole, carves up the defense for a fadeaway jumper! Beautiful!
Batman, this swiss-army-knife type, drops the dime! Unreal swagger passing on display!
Batman buries a double-clutch layup from way beyond the arc! This franchise cornerstone is on fire tonight!
LeBron James plays the passing angle perfectly! Deflection by this household name!
Both teams head in. Shaquille O'Neal has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Little secret: Shaquille O'Neal listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Shaquille O'Neal, this franchise cornerstone, knifes through for a half-court heave on the low block! Wow!
Shaquille O'Neal, this mammoth, is toying with the opposition from downtown! Dominant!
This certified GOAT candidate Shaquille O'Neal forgets the play call! Looking at the bench confused!
Barry Allen does the superhero dance after an off-balance shot! The game has never looked this fun!
It's over! Barry Allen delivers the goods! This respected competitor walks off a winner!
LeBron James and Shaquille O'Neal share a 30-second hug. Stephen Curry wants in. Gets pushed away. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce LeBron James's name. Forgive me. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
113-86 (W)
LeBron James takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
This bonafide star Stephen Curry converts off the pick and roll! A pull-up jumper right on cue!
Batman swats it away! A brilliant anticipation with that superhero strength!
This certified GOAT candidate LeBron James exploits the gap! Dime to the corner for a euro-step!
Shaquille O'Neal, this long boy, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Nerves of steel!
Coach calls everyone back. LeBron James drags his feet toward the tunnel. Did you know LeBron James entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Shaquille O'Neal, this giant, uses every inch to deliver an off-balance shot!
Post-game fireworks for Barry Allen! Brighter than their bare hands on a perfect day!
LeBron James steps back the damn ball with patience! This household name trusting the system!
Barry Allen's superhero colleagues watch from the stands, the game banners held high!
Shaquille O'Neal hugs the coach! This franchise cornerstone with a complete performance!
LeBron James improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Barry Allen plays the imaginary violin. Evening confession: I'm wearing LeBron James's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
103-98 (W)
Barry Allen gets the starting nod! A superhero starting with their bare hands confidence!
Batman, this absolute legend, pokes the damn ball free! Scramble at the buzzer!
Barry Allen can't buy a bucket! Another miss facing the rim! Frustrating!
Shaquille O'Neal, this potential GOAT, operates from the left corner with a hook shot! Clinic!
Barry Allen zones up! Defensive zone like a superhero's the game zone!
Break! Barry Allen has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Fun fact: Barry Allen failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Barry Allen with the transition score! Moving fast like a superhero moving their bare hands!
LeBron James anticipates the cut and deflects the Spalding! This guy with rings on every finger reading minds!
A standing ovation as LeBron James, this mammoth, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Barry Allen penetrates and drills it! With seconds left on the clock! Silky smooth technique under pressure!
What a game for Batman! Tomorrow's the game will feel easy after this!
Stephen Curry rips the net off the rim. Barry Allen wraps it around his neck like a scarf. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
95-107 (L)
LeBron James, this mammoth, announced to huge cheers! A crowd fully behind them!
Barry Allen can't convert! The superhero's touch with the game deserted them!
LeBron James pulls up into a trap! Limited stamina when reading the defense!
Stephen Curry gives up the back door! Hot head when overplaying!
Batman with the decisive devastating dunk! Unreal swagger when it matters most!
Back to the locker room. Barry Allen's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Word is Barry Allen sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Stephen Curry crosses over the towel! This max-contract guy showing lack of consistency!
Stephen Curry rises up the orange into nothing! Injury-prone body on full display tonight!
Shaquille O'Neal sets the screen at the perfect angle! This global icon cerebral play!
Batman is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure superhero stubbornness!
Barry Allen vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Shaquille O'Neal watches the crowd file out in silence. Batman prefers not to look. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
91-110 (L)
This global icon LeBron James comes out firing! An and-one in the first minute!
This potential GOAT Shaquille O'Neal with a rare miss from downtown! Even the best stumble!
Barry Allen gets picked! A superhero getting the game stolen in broad daylight!
Shaquille O'Neal scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Occasional mental lapses!
Barry Allen nails a bank shot on a strategic timeout! A superhero who delivers when it matters!
Break. LeBron James asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Quick anecdote about LeBron James: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Stephen Curry gets a technical for complaining! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
LeBron James, this long boy, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this basketball god!
Shaquille O'Neal, this guy with rings on every finger, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Nerves of steel!
Stephen Curry asks for the ball to slow the pace! This big-name player needs air!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Shaquille O'Neal shakes hands and moves on. In the end, injury-prone body proved costly.
Stephen Curry snaps at the bench on his way out. Barry Allen says nothing, but his look says everything. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
104-115 (L)
LeBron James opens with a catch-and-shoot triple! This absolute legend making an early statement!
Stephen Curry dishes and fires but misses everything! Sometimes predictable game tonight!
LeBron James passes to nobody! This hall-of-fame lock with a head-scratching decision!
This guy with rings on every finger Batman picks up the cheap foul! Tendency to rush showing!
Stephen Curry dribbles past the defense for a deep three! Size advantage from this this smooth operator!
Halftime. Barry Allen wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Did you know Barry Allen once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
This first-ballot legend LeBron James shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
LeBron James takes a tough bucket and it doesn't go! Limited stamina in shot selection!
Barry Allen spins the ball out of the trap! Silky smooth technique under pressure!
Stephen Curry is cramping up! This reliable star trying to shake it off! Hot head!
Batman consoles teammates! The heart of a superhero in that moment!
Shaquille O'Neal snaps at the bench on his way out. Batman says nothing, but his look says everything. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
119-81 (W)
This absolute legend LeBron James comes out aggressive! Opens with a step-back three in transition!
Batman converts in the paint! An alley-oop with trademark scary good handles!
Shaquille O'Neal drives and dishes! Gorgeous feed from downtown! Iron discipline!
Barry Allen strings together a half-court heave from the right corner. Night-in night-out consistency on full display!
This reliable star Stephen Curry forces the bad pass! Pure God-given talent creating turnovers!
The players head in. Shaquille O'Neal slips on the wet tunnel floor. Confession: Shaquille O'Neal calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
A reverse layup from Shaquille O'Neal! This hall-of-fame lock just keeps delivering!
This big-name player Stephen Curry finishes with a statement game! Nerves of steel throughout!
Barry Allen's pregame ritual involves their bare hands! The superhero connection is real!
This absolute legend Shaquille O'Neal rallies the crowd! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench from downtown! Deafening!
Barry Allen salutes the fans! A superhero's farewell until the next game!
Stephen Curry and LeBron James swing Barry Allen around by his arms like a carousel. He looks sick. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
110-94 (W)
Shaquille O'Neal, this big fella, sets the tone immediately! Night-in night-out consistency from the jump!
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, reads the play perfectly and delivers a layup!
Stephen Curry, this world-class player, bodied up and forced the turnover! Physical defense!
Stephen Curry with the bounce pass! This reliable star threading it perfectly!
Barry Allen draws the double team! Attracting attention, the superhero is a magnet out there!
The players disappear. Shaquille O'Neal has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Fun fact: Shaquille O'Neal is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Batman with the highlight-reel sky hook! This absolute legend owning the moment!
A standing ovation as Batman warms up with some superhero moves!
Batman cheers the loudest! Happy as a superhero clocking out on a Friday!
Shaquille O'Neal is writing the story tonight! This undisputed superstar with a sky hook from way beyond the arc!
Shaquille O'Neal, this walking skyscraper, salutes the faithful! A hug with the coach! What a night!
Batman performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Stephen Curry imitates it. It's worse. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
My Team finishes #2, a fantastic season! 12W-3L. Season MVP: Shaquille O'Neal.
Season Journal
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby!
Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Shaquille O'Neal on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 216 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them.
But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Barry Allen is on this team. Barry Allen, who is a superhero and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with bare hands under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
Financially, this team is operating in another dimension. The salary cap? Never heard of it. The luxury tax? Paid with a smile. The owner sold two of his yachts to fund this roster and he'd do it again tomorrow morning. Every player on this bench earns more in a week than most people do in a year, and not a single one of them is here to ride the pine. This is a team built to win NOW. Not tomorrow, not next season. Tonight.
My Team finishes #2, a fantastic season! 12W-3L. Season MVP: Shaquille O'Neal.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
%20(cropped).jpg?width=200&width=400)
.jpg?width=200&width=400)
%20(cropped2).jpg?width=200&width=400)
.jpg?width=200&width=400)