diddys — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | diddys | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Diddys! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Goku. The man is massive, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Goku is on this team. Goku, who is a farmer and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with seed dibber under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
84-129 (L)
Julius Caesar steps onto the floor! From defending the frontline to this, game time!
Pablo Escobar misses! Even a drug lord can't fix that shot!
Godzilla crosses over into a trap! Limited stamina when reading the defense!
Julius Caesar, this tweener, lets the shooter get free at half court! Costly lapse!
Julius Caesar glares at the rock! Like it personally betrayed this military personnel!
Back in the locker room, Julius Caesar sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote of the day: Julius Caesar forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
J. Cole drives the basketball into nothing! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display tonight!
This up-and-coming baller J. Cole is a warrior but the body says no! The 48 regulation minutes of war!
Stolen from Goku! A farmer who let it slip through their fingers!
Godzilla can't mask the disappointment! This elite player wearing it on the sleeve!
This well-respected player J. Cole shakes hands and moves on. In the end, occasional mental lapses proved costly.
Goku's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Julius Caesar hides his eyes under a towel. Behind the scenes, I learned Julius Caesar was also a farmer in a past life. You can feel it in the game. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
76-116 (L)
This headliner Godzilla in the starting lineup! Let's see what this headliner brings!
Godzilla forces up a catch-and-shoot triple over the defense! Lack of consistency! Bad decision!
Goku loses the damn ball! A farmer would never be this careless!
Julius Caesar fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a military personnel chasing the frontline!
Goku tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the farmer will bounce back!
Halftime. Godzilla's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Anecdote: Godzilla slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Godzilla, this reliable star, comes up empty! A layup off target from way beyond the arc!
Pablo Escobar cramps up! Muscles tight from their bare hands and the Wilson double duty!
Julius Caesar trips up in the elbow! A military personnel never trips at work... Right?
Pablo Escobar throws their hands up! Like a drug lord when their bare hands breaks!
Goku shakes hands through the pain! A farmer who respects the seed dibber and the game!
Pablo Escobar refuses Miami Heart-Attack's handshake. Goku offers a limp one with just his fingertips. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
101-96 (W)
Julius Caesar, this basketball god, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Julius Caesar scores in transition! Fast as a military personnel grabbing their service rifle!
Goku boxes out! Making space, that's the farmer work ethic!
Goku orchestrates the play! Conducting the offense like a veteran farmer!
J. Cole takes off into the right spacing! Next-level basketball IQ and elite court awareness!
Halftime. The doctor examines Godzilla's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Did you know Godzilla entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. We're back! The players look fired up.
A pull-up jumper from Godzilla! This guy everybody knows just keeps delivering!
Chills at the field house as Goku gets introduced! The farmer with the seed dibber!
Julius Caesar, this once-in-a-lifetime player, rotates on defense! Ridiculous creativity team commitment!
Julius Caesar dribbles like a player possessed! A killer instinct unleashed!
Goku soaks it in! Soaking up the moment, a farmer savoring glory!
Godzilla hits a dab in 2026. Goku does an ironic dab. J. Cole has no idea what that is. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
92-105 (L)
And we're underway! J. Cole touches the ball first! This established player looks eager!
This max-contract guy Goku misses the mark! A tear drop goes begging from way beyond the arc!
Julius Caesar throws it into the stands! What was that from this household name!
This headliner Godzilla can't recover! Scored on at the top of the key! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Pablo Escobar converts from the left corner! A deep three with trademark a gym-rat work ethic!
Both teams head to the locker room. Godzilla wipes his forehead with his jersey. True story: Godzilla had his parking spot stolen by Philadelphia Injury-Report's mascot. Still talks about it. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Pablo Escobar, this swiss-army-knife type, pounds the scorer's table! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
Godzilla with a wild attempt! This All-Star caliber talent not finding the range tonight!
Godzilla, this certified bucket, manages the clock beautifully in the second quarter!
J. Cole is visibly tired! This up-and-coming baller needs a timeout badly!
Julius Caesar leaves the gym quietly! Quiet as a military personnel after the frontline setback!
Goku turns back to look at the court one last time. Julius Caesar doesn't turn around. Tonight I had a revelation: Julius Caesar runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
89-113 (L)
Pablo Escobar starts in the small forward! Playing the small forward the way a drug lord plays with their bare hands!
Julius Caesar spins but it's well off! Sometimes predictable game under fatigue!
This All-Star caliber talent Goku gets pickpocketed from mid-range! Sloppy handling!
J. Cole gets caught flat-footed! This well-respected player beaten to the spot!
Goku with the highlight-reel sky hook! This big-name player owning the moment!
Cut! Halftime. Julius Caesar's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Rumor has it Julius Caesar talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Goku, this smooth operator, shows negative body language! Sometimes predictable game creeping in!
Pablo Escobar, this smooth operator, gets the separation but can't finish! Tendency to rush!
Goku manages the clock! Time management of a farmer who never misses a deadline!
Pablo Escobar mops their face! Sweating more than when competing the game!
J. Cole walks off in silence. This solid pro gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Godzilla slams his fist on the bench. Goku places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
86-130 (L)
Pablo Escobar sets the tone early! The drug lord came to play tonight!
This max-contract guy Godzilla rattles it out! So close yet so far off the pick and roll!
J. Cole coughs up the orange! Shaky emotions under pressure strikes again on the low block!
Godzilla, this tweener, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over lack of consistency!
This jersey-selling name Godzilla throws an elbow in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
Halftime. Pablo Escobar throws his towel on the floor walking in. Small detail: Pablo Escobar wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
J. Cole misfires from along the baseline! This name that's buzzing searching for answers!
This legit talent J. Cole stumbles! The fatigue is real after this ball game!
Julius Caesar coughs it up! A military personnel's grip doesn't work on the Wilson!
This reliable star Goku hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from the left corner!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Julius Caesar stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this once-in-a-lifetime player wanted.
Godzilla whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. J. Cole nods without conviction. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
104-118 (L)
This guy everybody knows Godzilla means business! Fast start driving to the hoop!
Julius Caesar rattles it out! Shaking the temple of basketball with their service rifle intensity!
Godzilla charges right into the defender! Turnover! Lack of consistency when controlling pace!
J. Cole, this solid build, gets blown by on the perimeter! Tendency to force bad shots in the legs!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Godzilla! Another dagger! This multi-time All-Star closing the door!
Halftime whistle. Pablo Escobar has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Anecdote: Pablo Escobar fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
J. Cole drops the head after another miss! Limited stamina sapping the confidence!
Goku skips it off the rim! The stubborn soil has better hop than that!
J. Cole, this all-around player, exploits the mismatch at the buzzer! Smart play!
J. Cole dribbles sluggishly! Limited stamina catching up with this respected competitor!
J. Cole, this swiss-army-knife type, trudges off the den. Lessons to take from this one.
Julius Caesar clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Godzilla fidgets with his wristband nervously. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
100-117 (L)
Julius Caesar opens with a scoop layup! This certified GOAT candidate making an early statement!
Godzilla fires a two-handed slam back to the basket but can't connect! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing!
This established player J. Cole with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Pablo Escobar loses the screen battle! Tendency to force bad shots around the picks!
Julius Caesar scores at will! A step-back three at the buzzer! This all-time great domination!
Back to the locker room. Pablo Escobar punches his locker. Confession: Pablo Escobar tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Goku, this versatile guy, waves off the play call! Shaky emotions under pressure hurting the team!
Godzilla, this established star, fumbles the finish at the buzzer! Back to the drawing board!
Julius Caesar uses their size out there! The military personnel has a built-in advantage!
Pablo Escobar is gassed! More tired than after a full day of competing the game!
Julius Caesar fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the military personnel gave everything!
Goku pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Julius Caesar takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. Tonight I learned Goku used to be a farmer before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
86-130 (L)
J. Cole, this do-it-all player, sets the tone immediately! A gym-rat work ethic from the jump!
This player on the come-up J. Cole whiffs on a layup! The crowd groans!
Pablo Escobar botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Godzilla reacts too late to rotate! Tendency to rush on the help side!
J. Cole launches the towel! This hooper's hooper showing heavy feet!
Both teams head to the locker room. Godzilla wipes his forehead with his jersey. Did you know Godzilla knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Houston Blast-Off's colors. By accident, obviously. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Brick! J. Cole misfires back to the basket! Limited stamina at the worst time!
Pablo Escobar is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure drug lord stubbornness!
Julius Caesar, this do-it-all player, gets called for the carry! Occasional mental lapses in ball-handling!
Goku kicks the air! The frustration of a farmer who knows they can do better!
Pablo Escobar walks off in defeat! Even a drug lord's skills couldn't save tonight!
Julius Caesar slams his fist on the bench. Pablo Escobar places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. I learned tonight that Julius Caesar used to be a farmer. That explains the unique running style. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
77-121 (L)
Goku begins their shift on the temple of basketball! A farmer starting the seed dibber shift!
Julius Caesar throws up a clunker! Their service rifle would weep at that trajectory!
Goku dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the farmer's finest moment!
This headliner Godzilla picks up the cheap foul! Injury-prone body showing!
Julius Caesar slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a military personnel hits the workbench!
Back to the locker room. Julius Caesar's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Juicy intel: Julius Caesar turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Godzilla shoots but the shot rims out! Heavy feet rears its ugly head!
Goku drives but can't sustain the effort! Limited stamina emptying the tank!
Goku, this smooth operator, gets the ball poked away! Tendency to rush when protecting the Spalding!
Godzilla storms to the bench! This established star is visibly upset!
J. Cole, this guy with a proven track record, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
J. Cole refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Godzilla watches it and immediately regrets it. Behind the scenes, I learned Godzilla was also a farmer in a past life. You can feel it in the game. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
78-123 (L)
This legit talent J. Cole gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Pablo Escobar can't convert! The drug lord's touch with the game deserted them!
Julius Caesar tries to be too fancy and loses the damn ball! Tendency to rush in the decision-making!
Pablo Escobar caught flat-footed! Standing still, the drug lord reflexes took a nap!
Godzilla, this headliner, barks at the teammate! Sometimes predictable game taking over!
The players disappear. Pablo Escobar has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Fun fact: Pablo Escobar tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
J. Cole, this solid build, wastes a golden chance with a wild hook shot!
J. Cole, this smooth operator, laboring up and down! Defense that's basically a suggestion draining the energy!
This generational talent Pablo Escobar commits the offensive foul! Turnover from downtown!
Pablo Escobar shakes their head! A drug lord who can't believe that just happened!
Godzilla, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite that dawg mentality effort.
J. Cole has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Pablo Escobar has aged ten years in forty minutes. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
79-123 (L)
This multi-time All-Star Goku comes out firing! A free throw in the first minute!
Julius Caesar goes 0 for the quarter! A military personnel having a rough shift with their service rifle!
Godzilla passes to nobody! This established star with a head-scratching decision!
Godzilla, this solid build, fouls unnecessarily at half court! Sometimes predictable game!
Julius Caesar argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to defending the frontline!
Finally a breather. J. Cole has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Did you know J. Cole keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Godzilla, this certified bucket, with a contested free throw that misses off the pick and roll!
Julius Caesar is running on fumes! The military personnel tank is completely empty!
Pablo Escobar dribbles it off their foot! Their bare hands would never betray a drug lord like that!
Godzilla posts up and kicks the stanchion! This All-Star caliber talent losing composure!
Goku wipes a tear! A farmer who poured everything into the effort!
Pablo Escobar replays the score in his head on a loop. Julius Caesar tries to think about something else. I learned that Pablo Escobar's father was a farmer. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
88-132 (L)
Julius Caesar stretches center court! Loosening up, the military personnel is getting ready!
J. Cole with a rough sky hook at the buzzer! Hot head at the worst time!
Goku with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost farmer!
This hooper's hooper J. Cole gives up the offensive rebound! Tendency to rush when boxing out!
This top-tier talent Goku can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Back in the locker room, Pablo Escobar sits down and stares at the ceiling. Fun fact: Pablo Escobar tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Godzilla posts up the damn ball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Goku can barely run! This ball game harder than this ball game of cultivating the stubborn soil!
This established player J. Cole commits the 5-second violation! Clock management lack of consistency!
This hall-of-fame lock Pablo Escobar gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Goku packs up and heads out! Packing the seed dibber, unpacking emotions!
Godzilla whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Pablo Escobar nods without conviction. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
77-122 (L)
Julius Caesar takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Julius Caesar misses badly! Should have aimed like they aim their service rifle at the frontline!
Julius Caesar with the errant pass! This household name needs to settle down!
J. Cole gets posted up and scored on! This name that's buzzing overpowered!
Goku mouths off and picks up a T! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!
End of the first act. Julius Caesar is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Intel: Julius Caesar refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
This next-level player J. Cole short-arms a catch-and-shoot triple in transition! Not enough lift!
Godzilla is running on pure willpower! This max-contract guy refusing to quit!
Godzilla, this tweener, steps out of bounds with the damn ball! Mental lapse!
J. Cole picks up the second technical! This legit talent ejected! Heavy feet!
Julius Caesar absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a military personnel knows tough days!
J. Cole mutters 'damn' under his breath. Goku says 'yeah' in the same tone. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
80-125 (L)
J. Cole looks dialed in from the start! Next-level basketball IQ preparation showing!
Julius Caesar shoots an air ball in an incredible energy! A military personnel lost in the noise!
Julius Caesar throws it away! A pass worse than a military personnel tossing the frontline!
Godzilla gets burned on the drive! Occasional mental lapses in lateral movement!
J. Cole mutters to himself walking back! This up-and-coming baller fighting inner demons!
Break. Julius Caesar collapses next to the vending machine. Intel: Julius Caesar once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
This household name Julius Caesar muscles up a bucket but can't get it to fall!
This jersey-selling name Goku has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Goku with the backcourt violation! A farmer going backwards with the stubborn soil!
Goku looks to the heavens! A farmer praying for the seed dibber to work!
J. Cole spins to the tunnel in disappointment. This dude putting the league on notice will learn from this.
J. Cole's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Goku hides his eyes under a towel. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
diddys finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Goku.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Diddys!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Goku. The man is massive, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Goku is on this team. Goku, who is a farmer and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with seed dibber under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
diddys finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Goku.
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