Goontunes — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Goontunes | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. Ladies and gentlemen... Goontunes! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Giannis Antetokounmpo. Standing at 211 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. The chef's surprise of the evening is Elton John. A movie actor by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle film character with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. The budget is like the guy who goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, orders one entree and splits the dessert. It's not poverty, but it's not the high life either. They've got a decent roster, nobody's complaining, but nobody's saying "damn, what a squad" either. Solid without being spectacular. The kind of team that beats you on a Tuesday and you've forgotten about them by Wednesday morning. But underestimate them and they'll make you pay.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
80-124 (L)
Galactus, this do-it-all player, sets the tone immediately! Insane court vision from the jump!
Jesus Christ bricks it! Not the same accuracy as competing the game!
Elton John botches the handoff! Even the script binder exchanges go smoother!
Elton John watches them score! Just watching, like watching the script binder gather dust!
Galactus, this hungry young player, barks at the teammate! Heavy feet taking over!
Players head to the locker room. George Floyd has tape on three fingers. Exclusive: George Floyd was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Jesus Christ launches but the shot rims out! Ego the size of Texas rears its ugly head!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this world-class player, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
This certified bucket Giannis Antetokounmpo gets pickpocketed facing the rim! Sloppy handling!
Galactus, this total unknown, refuses to high-five! Heavy feet hurting the chemistry!
Despite the loss, Elton John held their own with the film character! The movie actor fought!
Giannis Antetokounmpo kicks his towel across the floor. Elton John has already left for the locker room, alone. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
110-91 (W)
And we're underway! George Floyd touches the rock first! This elite player looks eager!
Elton John racks up a pull-up jumper! Productive night for this movie actor!
Elton John denies the entry pass! No the film character gets past this movie actor!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this tree of a man, finds the trailer! A finger roll off the assist, easy money!
Galactus makes the hockey pass! An unmatched feel for the game finding the extra pass!
Halftime whistle! Elton John grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Juicy anecdote: Elton John was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
George Floyd, this established star, operates at the top of the key with a pull-up jumper! Clinic!
The energy in this building is unreal! George Floyd channeling a cathedral silence!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Elton John defers to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Elton John has that look in the eyes! Watch out! Unreal swagger!
This potential GOAT Jesus Christ seals the deal! Victory with an off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Jesus Christ does the robot at center court while Elton John pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
101-114 (L)
Galactus dunks with energy from the opening whistle! This guy nobody was talking about locked in!
Jesus Christ can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this basketball god!
Jesus Christ throws it into the stands! What was that from this certified GOAT candidate!
This living legend Jesus Christ caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Galactus with the smooth off-balance shot! This unknown gem making it look easy!
The players disappear. Giannis Antetokounmpo has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Little scoop: Giannis Antetokounmpo collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
George Floyd slams the orange in frustration! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Giannis Antetokounmpo misfires driving to the hoop! This franchise guy searching for answers!
George Floyd, this tweener, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Galactus, this solid build, with tired legs in the paint! Ego the size of Texas slowing this dark horse down!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this max-contract guy, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
George Floyd's gaze is cold, distant. Giannis Antetokounmpo's gaze is hot, angry. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
114-99 (W)
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this tree of a man, announced to huge cheers! A Playoff atmosphere!
George Floyd hits an alley-oop! Iron discipline proving to be the difference tonight!
Jesus Christ blocks the layup attempt! An iron-wall defense with their bare hands authority!
Galactus, this versatile guy, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
This first-ballot legend Elton John adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Finally a breather. Giannis Antetokounmpo has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Fun fact: Giannis Antetokounmpo failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Galactus, this dude out of nowhere, reads the play perfectly and delivers a bucket!
The announcer calls Elton John 'The movie actor!' the court roars its approval!
This dude out of nowhere Galactus dives for the loose ball! Eyes in the back of the head on every play!
This top-tier talent Giannis Antetokounmpo embraces the pressure! This is what greatness looks like!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this guy everybody knows, points to the crowd! A fist pump toward the bench! This was for the fans!
Elton John slides across the court in his socks while Jesus Christ splashes water on everyone. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
103-102 (W)
Game time! George Floyd and this established star ready to put on a show at the floor!
Jesus Christ walls up in the three-point line! Immovable as their bare hands bolted down!
Giannis Antetokounmpo crosses over the damn ball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Elton John scores with the script binder, no, with their hands! But the precision is the same!
Jesus Christ overloads one side! Loading up with messiah strategy!
End of the first act. George Floyd is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Anecdote: George Floyd once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. We're back! The players look fired up.
This franchise guy George Floyd with the monster monster swat in after a timeout! Saved the game!
George Floyd with the full-court pressure! This top-tier talent making them uncomfortable!
The crowd is on its feet! A roaring arena as George Floyd takes the court!
This max-contract guy Giannis Antetokounmpo puts the dagger in! On a strategic timeout a floater! It's over!
This guy everybody knows Giannis Antetokounmpo walks off to a standing ovation! A roaring arena! Incredible!
Giannis Antetokounmpo and Elton John fake a wrestling match. Galactus plays the referee and calls a timeout. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
99-107 (L)
George Floyd, this jersey-selling name, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Jesus Christ misfires on the floater! Too much float, the messiah touch abandoned them!
Galactus steps back carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this towering presence, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over injury-prone body!
Jesus Christ banks it in from downtown! A messiah's steady hand at work!
Both teams head to the locker room. Galactus wipes his forehead with his jersey. Word is Galactus sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Jesus Christ mouths off during crunch time! A messiah venting about the game!
A sky hook attempt by Elton John falls short! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the legs!
Giannis Antetokounmpo spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Elton John, this undisputed superstar, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Galactus, this combo guard, hangs the head. Tough loss despite insane court vision effort.
Elton John refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Jesus Christ watches it and immediately regrets it. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Jesus Christ. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
99-105 (L)
George Floyd, this swiss-army-knife type, is introduced and the arena explodes! This guy everybody knows is in the building!
Jesus Christ misses! Even a messiah can't fix that shot!
Galactus, this tweener, gets stripped along the baseline! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Galactus lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this newcomer fooled!
Jesus Christ treats the Spalding like the game and sinks it. Easy as pie for a messiah!
Rest time. George Floyd isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Physio's confession: George Floyd purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
George Floyd storms to the bench! This guy everybody knows is visibly upset!
Jesus Christ, this versatile guy, bobbles the ball and the chance evaporates in the paint!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this max-contract guy, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Next-level basketball IQ!
George Floyd is cramping up! This headliner trying to shake it off! Occasional mental lapses!
Jesus Christ, this living legend, takes the loss hard. Tendency to force bad shots at the wrong moments.
Elton John's gaze is cold, distant. Jesus Christ's gaze is hot, angry. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
86-127 (L)
This jersey-selling name Giannis Antetokounmpo opens the scoring! A deep three! Early advantage!
Jesus Christ can't find the range! Their bare hands has better accuracy than that!
This who-is-this-guy player Galactus forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Elton John watches helplessly! A movie actor watching the film character fall off the shelf!
Jesus Christ argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Coach calls everyone back. Elton John drags his feet toward the tunnel. Anecdote: Elton John slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
George Floyd lets fly the basketball awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this reliable star!
Galactus is visibly tired! This newcomer needs a timeout badly!
This total unknown Galactus with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Jesus Christ looks to the heavens! A messiah praying for their bare hands to work!
Giannis Antetokounmpo goes to work to the tunnel in disappointment. This reliable star will learn from this.
George Floyd refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Jesus Christ watches it and immediately regrets it. I learned tonight that George Floyd used to be a movie actor. That explains the unique running style. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
95-117 (L)
The gymnasium welcomes Jesus Christ! The messiah with the game has arrived!
Jesus Christ forces up an and-one over the defense! Occasional mental lapses! Bad decision!
Galactus coughs up the Wilson! Hot head strikes again at half court!
Jesus Christ can't stay in front! Competing the game doesn't build lateral quickness!
George Floyd takes off the damn ball with pure God-given talent. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
The players head to the locker room. Galactus is sweating like a racehorse. Word is Galactus sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
This franchise cornerstone Elton John hangs the head after the miss! Deflated facing the rim!
Elton John sends it wide! The script binder wouldn't forgive that either!
This certified bucket Giannis Antetokounmpo recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
This max-contract guy Giannis Antetokounmpo stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 48 regulation minutes!
Elton John takes the loss hard! Hard as the film character on a bad movie actor day!
Elton John sits on the floor in the hallway. Jesus Christ sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
105-102 (W)
Elton John steps onto the venue! From portraying the film character to this, game time!
Giannis Antetokounmpo shuts the door back to the basket! That's how you play defense!
This franchise cornerstone Jesus Christ short-arms a euro-step driving to the hoop! Not enough lift!
Jesus Christ, this all-around player, muscles in for a free throw! Pure power!
Jesus Christ plays the chess match! Outsmarted them like a messiah on their best day!
The players file out. George Floyd exchanges a tense look with the coach. Rumor has it George Floyd talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this tree of a man, muscles through for a double-clutch layup in the second half!
Elton John shuts down the lane! Closed for business, like a movie actor closing the film character!
This bonafide star George Floyd turns the hostile crowd into stunned silence!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this big fella, blocks the go-ahead attempt! In the dying seconds a surgical steal!
Giannis Antetokounmpo grabs the game ball! This guy everybody knows earned it tonight!
Jesus Christ and Elton John pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
85-111 (L)
Opening possession for Elton John! First touch, like first touch of the script binder!
Brick! Giannis Antetokounmpo misfires back to the basket! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
George Floyd, this all-around player, fumbles the entry pass from way beyond the arc!
Elton John loses their assignment! Like losing the script binder in the workshop!
George Floyd, this swiss-army-knife type, posts up and delivers a bucket! Textbook!
End of the first act. Galactus is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Did you know Galactus keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Galactus drops the head after another miss! Ego the size of Texas sapping the confidence!
This absolute legend Jesus Christ shanks an and-one at half court! That's uncharacteristic!
Elton John with the decoy run! Diverting attention, classic movie actor misdirection!
Giannis Antetokounmpo, this big fella, laboring up and down! Shaky emotions under pressure draining the energy!
Giannis Antetokounmpo reflects on what could have been. Ego the size of Texas the difference tonight.
Jesus Christ hurls his water bottle at the wall. Galactus flinches but doesn't react. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
77-121 (L)
This generational talent Elton John in the starting lineup! Let's see what this generational talent brings!
A double-clutch layup from Giannis Antetokounmpo sails wide! This jersey-selling name needs to regroup!
This big-name player Giannis Antetokounmpo with turnover number points! Tendency to rush is piling up!
This first-ballot legend Elton John gives up the offensive rebound! Hot head when boxing out!
Elton John, this combo guard, throws the hands up! Exasperated back to the basket!
The players disappear. Elton John has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Bus driver's confession: Elton John raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
An alley-oop from Jesus Christ goes in and out! Heartbreaking off the pick and roll!
Jesus Christ needs oxygen! More winded than a messiah after overtime!
This household name Jesus Christ loses concentration and the pill with it!
Giannis Antetokounmpo attacks and kicks the stanchion! This big-name player losing composure!
Jesus Christ leaves the floor with dignity! The dignity of a messiah with their bare hands!
Galactus replays the score in his head on a loop. Giannis Antetokounmpo tries to think about something else. Tonight I had a revelation: Giannis Antetokounmpo runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
83-127 (L)
This bonafide star Giannis Antetokounmpo comes out aggressive! Opens with an alley-oop back to the basket!
Giannis Antetokounmpo with a wild attempt! This elite player not finding the range tonight!
Giannis Antetokounmpo with the lazy pass! Limited stamina leading to easy points!
Jesus Christ gets screened out! Stuck behind their bare hands like it's a wall!
Giannis Antetokounmpo glares at the scoreboard! This headliner not happy with the situation!
Halftime whistle! Giannis Antetokounmpo slides down against the hallway wall. Fun fact: Giannis Antetokounmpo is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Elton John forces a pull-up jumper from downtown! This all-time great trying too hard!
This guy everybody knows Giannis Antetokounmpo is a warrior but the body says no! This ball game of war!
Galactus with the backcourt violation! This rising star under too much pressure!
Jesus Christ sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a messiah after a long shift!
This generational talent Jesus Christ stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this generational talent wanted.
Elton John mutters 'damn' under his breath. Jesus Christ says 'yeah' in the same tone. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
80-114 (L)
This jersey-selling name Giannis Antetokounmpo means business! Fast start driving to the hoop!
George Floyd, this solid build, gets the separation but can't finish! Occasional mental lapses!
Intercepted! Elton John's pass snatched right out of the air! A movie actor would never be that careless!
Jesus Christ gets posted up and scored on! This global icon overpowered!
This certified bucket Giannis Antetokounmpo can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Halftime whistle. George Floyd has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Anecdote: George Floyd fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Giannis Antetokounmpo misses the open look! This All-Star caliber talent can't believe it! Hot head!
This guy everybody knows George Floyd can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Jesus Christ forces the pass! Forcing their bare hands where it doesn't fit!
This surprise package Galactus fouls hard out of frustration! Occasional mental lapses showing!
Galactus, this versatile guy, trudges off the floor. Lessons to take from this one.
Giannis Antetokounmpo's gaze is cold, distant. Galactus's gaze is hot, angry. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
86-130 (L)
Jesus Christ bounces the leather pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Elton John misses the bunny! A movie actor dropping the film character from point-blank!
This franchise guy George Floyd dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This rising star Galactus misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
This diamond in the rough Galactus slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
End of the second quarter. Elton John is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. I've been told Elton John always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
George Floyd, this multi-time All-Star, comes up empty! A two-handed slam off target from downtown!
Jesus Christ is spent! Used up like the game after a messiah's long day!
Jesus Christ trips up in the three-point line! A messiah never trips at work... Right?
Elton John, this certified GOAT candidate, yells at the coaching staff! Limited stamina causing friction!
This guy nobody was talking about Galactus shakes hands and moves on. In the end, tendency to force bad shots proved costly.
Elton John scratches the back of his neck nervously. Giannis Antetokounmpo has the look of someone who has seen things. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Goontunes finishes #13 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: Giannis Antetokounmpo.
Season Journal
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. Ladies and gentlemen... Goontunes!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Giannis Antetokounmpo. Standing at 211 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it.
The chef's surprise of the evening is Elton John. A movie actor by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle film character with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him.
The budget is like the guy who goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, orders one entree and splits the dessert. It's not poverty, but it's not the high life either. They've got a decent roster, nobody's complaining, but nobody's saying "damn, what a squad" either. Solid without being spectacular. The kind of team that beats you on a Tuesday and you've forgotten about them by Wednesday morning. But underestimate them and they'll make you pay.
Goontunes finishes #13 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: Giannis Antetokounmpo.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
.jpg?width=200&width=400)
%20(cropped).jpg?width=200&width=400)