My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | My Team | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Superman. The man is massive, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Goku. The man is a warrior. A freaking warrior. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with notched blade and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Let's talk budget, and by "budget" I mean the spare change you find between the couch cushions. These guys are so far under the salary floor that the league literally has to GIVE them money to meet the minimum. This is the squad that travels by Greyhound bus and washes their own jerseys. No stars, just hungry rookies on two-way deals and bitter vets signed for the minimum. It's the perfect setup for tanking your way to a top Draft pick, but for the fans, it's a damn desert crossing.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
96-100 (L)
The venue welcomes Jesus Christ! The messiah with the game has arrived!
Joseph Stalin attacks the rock with purpose! An and-one! This absolute legend means business!
Superman loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
Goku with the off-balance catch-and-shoot triple! This certified bucket couldn't set the feet!
Superman with back-to-back scores! The superhero assembly line of their bare hands!
The locker room. Superman sprawls out full-length on the bench. I've been told Superman once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Joseph Stalin picks up the offensive foul! A revolutionary charging like they charge at the game!
Adolf Hitler mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
Superman reminds us that greatness comes from loving what you do! The superhero knows!
This certified bucket Goku gets the look but can't convert! Shaky emotions under pressure at the worst time!
Joseph Stalin, this short king, trudges off the court. Lessons to take from this one.
Goku mutters while walking out. Adolf Hitler watches from the corner of his eye, worried. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
129-94 (W)
Tip-off! Jesus Christ gets us started! Let's go!
Joseph Stalin with a scoop layup on the break! Running like they're late for work!
Adolf Hitler sets up the easy score! Easy as a soldier setting up their service rifle!
Adolf Hitler converts with authority! Same energy they bring to defending the front line!
Goku takes the charge! Tough as nails, that's a warrior who doesn't back down!
Halftime. Goku glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Bus driver's confession: Goku raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Goku applies the same technique to the orange as to the contested ground. A buzzer-beater on the low block!
This basketball god Adolf Hitler and the team deliver a masterpiece! A catch-and-shoot triple! Perfection!
Adolf Hitler just tried to use their service rifle on the pill! Wrong equipment, right energy!
Jesus Christ points to the sky after a pull-up jumper! This once-in-a-lifetime player in the zone!
Final buzzer! Jesus Christ's messiah shift on the temple of basketball ends in triumph!
Jesus Christ climbs onto the scorer's table. Joseph Stalin joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. Did you know that Joseph Stalin practices messiah on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
107-89 (W)
Adolf Hitler, this potential GOAT, draws first blood! A floater to start!
Goku hooks it in! The arc of a warrior swinging the notched blade!
Goku a flawless defensive rotation with authority! This combo guard protecting the paint!
Superman picks apart the defense! Dissecting every move with superhero precision!
Goku adjusts the matchup! Finding the right fit, the warrior approach!
Halftime whistle! Goku grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. They say Goku has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Joseph Stalin with a reverse layup to seal the deal! A revolutionary who always closes!
Jesus Christ soaks in a hostile crowd! This household name living for these moments!
Jesus Christ, this global icon, rotates on defense! Freakish explosiveness team commitment!
Superman, this all-time great, has the intangibles! An unmatched feel for the game beyond the stats!
Adolf Hitler puts a bow on it! Clean finish, just like a soldier wrapping up the job!
Jesus Christ runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Adolf Hitler follows doing the wave alone. I learned that Jesus Christ's father was a messiah. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
103-96 (W)
Goku takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
A finger roll from Joseph Stalin! This guy with rings on every finger reminding everyone why they're on top!
Joseph Stalin holds the line in the high post! The discipline of a revolutionary with their bare hands!
This guy with rings on every finger Joseph Stalin with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Jesus Christ traps with the double! Trapping them, the messiah knows how to corner prey!
Finally a breather. Goku has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Anecdote: Goku once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Adolf Hitler lays it in softly! Touch softer than a soldier's hands on the job!
The arena buzzes for Goku! A warrior who electrifies wherever they go!
Adolf Hitler makes the extra pass! Extra effort, the soldier way!
Superman, this tweener, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this hall-of-fame lock right now!
Adolf Hitler pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This undisputed superstar savors the win!
Adolf Hitler launches his shoe into the air. Superman catches it. Standing ovation. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
128-92 (W)
Opening possession for Superman! First touch, like first touch of their bare hands!
What a shot from Adolf Hitler! A soldier bringing their service rifle energy to the temple of basketball!
Superman quarterbacks the offense! Commanding the floor like a superhero on the clock!
Superman attacks and delivers an off-balance shot! Their bare hands by day, buckets by night!
Joseph Stalin, this short king, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
Off to the locker room. Adolf Hitler has already drained two water bottles. Fun fact: Adolf Hitler is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Jesus Christ hits the pull-up jumper! The elevation of a messiah lifting their bare hands!
Adolf Hitler with the dagger in the blowout! Overkill! The soldier showed no mercy!
Joseph Stalin, this once-in-a-lifetime player, accidentally chest-bumps the ref! Excuse me sir!
Jesus Christ slides across the floor! A team high-five from downtown! Entertainment!
Superman celebrates at the final buzzer! Celebration worthy of their bare hands!
Jesus Christ does a handstand. Adolf Hitler holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
112-98 (W)
Superman opens with an alley-oop! This once-in-a-lifetime player making an early statement!
This franchise cornerstone Jesus Christ erupts for a layup! The floodgates are open!
Joseph Stalin deflects the pass and starts the break! This basketball god defense to offense!
Goku reads the defense like a book! Assist under the basket! Scary good handles!
Goku, this jersey-selling name, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Nerves of steel!
End of the second quarter. Jesus Christ is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Confession: Jesus Christ believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Jesus Christ scores off the inbound! That's the preparation of a messiah right there!
Adolf Hitler gets the loudest cheer! Louder than a soldier's proudest moment!
Jesus Christ, this generational talent, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!
Goku, the warrior from the day shift, is writing their story on the arena tonight!
Joseph Stalin, this compact dynamo, takes the final bow! A slide across the hardwood! Dominant display!
Goku grabs the PA announcer's mic and shouts Superman's name. The announcer chases him. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
116-101 (W)
Goku locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a warrior who means business!
Adolf Hitler drains it! Emptying the tank like a soldier on double shift!
Superman with the chase-down perfect contest! Running like a superhero chasing the game!
This guy everybody knows Goku turns the corner and finds the open man! Unselfish!
This multi-time All-Star Goku uses the floater over this combo guard coverage! Smart!
Halftime. Joseph Stalin glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Juicy intel: Joseph Stalin turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
A double-clutch layup from Jesus Christ driving to the hoop! That's a statement right there!
Adolf Hitler tips their captain armband to the crowd! The soldier gesture with their service rifle!
Goku, this all-around player, repositions on defense! Next-level basketball IQ collective effort!
This will be talked about for years! Jesus Christ with a fadeaway jumper! Iconic!
Goku tallied double figures! Double the contested ground, double the glory!
Adolf Hitler and Goku freestyle a victory rap. Jesus Christ does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. I learned backstage that Jesus Christ also does messiah on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
116-97 (W)
Adolf Hitler rises up with energy from the opening whistle! This global icon locked in!
Adolf Hitler with the highlight-reel devastating dunk! This first-ballot legend owning the moment!
Adolf Hitler locks down the restricted area! Fortified with their service rifle!
Jesus Christ fades away the pill with precision! Assist at the top of the key! Floor general!
Goku schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true warrior!
Break! Adolf Hitler heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Rumor has it Adolf Hitler tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Superman banks a finger roll off the glass! Geometry learned from the superhero life!
The announcer calls Jesus Christ 'The messiah!' the floor roars its approval!
Joseph Stalin does the dirty work! Hands dirty like a revolutionary at the end of the day!
This generational talent Joseph Stalin has that look in the eyes! Watch out! A gym-rat work ethic!
Superman is named player of the game! The superhero is also the star!
Adolf Hitler does a backflip. Well, he tries. Joseph Stalin applauds the effort. I learned tonight that Adolf Hitler used to be a messiah. That explains the unique running style. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
115-101 (W)
Goku, this swiss-army-knife type, takes the court! The incredible energy is electric!
Superman, this global icon, threads the needle for a free throw driving to the hoop!
Jesus Christ denies the pass! Their bare hands interception skills on full display!
Jesus Christ threads the needle! Precision of their bare hands through the game!
Joseph Stalin fades away to the weak side! This hall-of-fame lock exploiting the rotation!
Break! Goku takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Rumor has it Goku does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Adolf Hitler answers back with a tear drop! Freakish explosiveness under pressure!
Goku, this solid build, gets the standing ovation! Wild stands!
Superman holds the huddle together! That superhero leadership on full display!
Joseph Stalin proves that competing the game builds character for the temple of basketball!
Superman, this versatile guy, celebrates the win! A hug with the coach! What a game!
Jesus Christ dumps his Gatorade on Adolf Hitler who screams because it was cold. Superman piles on. Tonight I had a revelation: Adolf Hitler runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
100-118 (L)
Adolf Hitler takes the court to an incredible energy! The soldier with their service rifle is here!
This certified GOAT candidate Jesus Christ throws up a prayer from the left corner! Not answered!
Jesus Christ with the lazy pass! Limited stamina leading to easy points!
This generational talent Joseph Stalin bites on the fake! Beaten in transition!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, showcases a gym-rat work ethic with a gorgeous scoop layup!
End of the first half. Joseph Stalin is beet red but still standing. Juicy intel: Joseph Stalin turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Jesus Christ vents at their teammates! The messiah who vents about the game!
Goku drives but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Superman communicates the switch! Clear as a superhero's instructions!
This certified GOAT candidate Superman stumbles! The fatigue is real after the contest!
Jesus Christ spins past the media. This guy with rings on every finger not in the mood to talk.
Adolf Hitler's eyes are glassy. Joseph Stalin mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
106-97 (W)
Adolf Hitler huddles with the team! Huddling up, the soldier strategizes!
A half-court heave from Joseph Stalin! That's scary good handles at the highest level!
Superman with a monster swat! The reflexes of a superhero catching the game!
Joseph Stalin sees the floor! The awareness of a revolutionary scanning the game!
Joseph Stalin finds the angle! The angle revolutionary uses for the game!
Halftime whistle. Superman spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. I've been told Superman once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
This certified GOAT candidate Joseph Stalin does it again! An off-balance shot with effortless precision!
The entire arena rises for Adolf Hitler! A soldier lifted by their service rifle and love!
Adolf Hitler barks out defensive calls! The voice of their service rifle echoes across the arena!
This jersey-selling name Goku plays every possession like the last! Insane court vision burning bright!
Jesus Christ shakes hands! The handshake of a messiah who respects the game!
Adolf Hitler pretends to faint from happiness. Goku pretends to call 911. I got a text from Adolf Hitler after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
92-121 (L)
Goku begins their shift on the gymnasium! A warrior starting the notched blade shift!
Goku, this max-contract guy, sends the orange wide! The touch is off tonight!
Stolen from Adolf Hitler! A soldier who let it slip through their fingers!
Goku fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a warrior chasing the contested ground!
Joseph Stalin sinks it from back to the basket. A revolutionary never misses the game, and never misses the hoop!
Time to breathe. Superman has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Did you know Superman plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Goku, this all-around player, throws the hands up! Exasperated from downtown!
Joseph Stalin forces a bad free throw! This absolute legend needs to trust teammates!
Goku makes the right read! Saw it coming a mile away, true warrior!
Joseph Stalin bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a revolutionary after their bare hands overtime!
This franchise cornerstone Jesus Christ tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Jesus Christ and Superman walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
92-103 (L)
This all-time great Joseph Stalin opens the scoring! A reverse layup! Early advantage!
Goku fires and misses from the left corner. Should have stuck with the contested ground!
Adolf Hitler dribbles it off their foot! Their service rifle would never betray a soldier like that!
Goku beaten to the spot! Slower than a warrior on a Monday morning!
Superman with a devastating dunk in the paint! Competing the game in tight spaces!
Halftime whistle. Adolf Hitler has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. True story: Adolf Hitler walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Boston Ring-Chasers. Awkward. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Joseph Stalin tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the revolutionary will bounce back!
Goku misses the open look! A warrior never misses the contested ground... But misses the orange!
This undisputed superstar Joseph Stalin calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Joseph Stalin, this small but mighty player, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Joseph Stalin, this once-in-a-lifetime player, takes the loss hard. Hot head at the wrong moments.
Adolf Hitler taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Jesus Christ walks through the door without pushing it. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
92-104 (L)
Joseph Stalin, this elusive guard, announced to huge cheers! A packed arena!
Joseph Stalin can't score in the first half! This revolutionary is way off tonight!
Adolf Hitler tries to be too fancy and loses the orange! Heavy feet in the decision-making!
Superman watches them score! Just watching, like watching their bare hands gather dust!
Joseph Stalin, this once-in-a-lifetime player, reads the play perfectly and delivers a euro-step!
Break. Superman collapses next to the vending machine. Confession: Superman calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Jesus Christ picks up the second technical! This absolute legend ejected! Occasional mental lapses!
Jesus Christ gets blocked! Rejected harder than a messiah's worst day on the job!
Goku baits the defender! Got them hook, line, and sinker!
Jesus Christ leans on their knees! Gassed, but the messiah keeps going!
Goku leaves the palace of hoops quietly! Quiet as a warrior after the contested ground setback!
Goku clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Joseph Stalin fidgets with his wristband nervously. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
89-134 (L)
This certified GOAT candidate Adolf Hitler in the starting lineup! Let's see what this certified GOAT candidate brings!
Joseph Stalin launches and misses! The Spalding isn't the game, and it shows!
Goku rises up carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Joseph Stalin falls asleep on the weak side! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
This undisputed superstar Superman gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
The players leave the court. Joseph Stalin clings to the tunnel railing. Fun fact: Joseph Stalin tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Jesus Christ whiffs on the jumper! A messiah off their game with their bare hands!
This undisputed superstar Joseph Stalin can't close out! The legs are shot off the pick and roll!
Turnover by Goku! Conquering the contested ground requires less coordination, clearly!
Joseph Stalin waves off the play! The authority of a revolutionary in that gesture!
Despite the loss, Adolf Hitler held their own with the front line! The soldier fought!
Adolf Hitler punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Jesus Christ slides down the wall to the floor. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
My Team ends the season #6 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: Superman.
Season Journal
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Superman. The man is massive, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction.
The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Goku. The man is a warrior. A freaking warrior. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with notched blade and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
Let's talk budget, and by "budget" I mean the spare change you find between the couch cushions. These guys are so far under the salary floor that the league literally has to GIVE them money to meet the minimum. This is the squad that travels by Greyhound bus and washes their own jerseys. No stars, just hungry rookies on two-way deals and bitter vets signed for the minimum. It's the perfect setup for tanking your way to a top Draft pick, but for the fans, it's a damn desert crossing.
My Team ends the season #6 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: Superman.
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