My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Victor Wembanyama. Standing at 224 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's George Soros. A philanthropist in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. George Soros has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
98-110 (L)
This respected competitor Anthony Edwards opens the scoring! A thunderous slam! Early advantage!
Jesus Christ misses the bunny! A messiah dropping the game from point-blank!
This absolute legend Jesus Christ with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Jesus Christ beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the game slipping from a messiah!
Victor Wembanyama, this titan, rises above and hammers a half-court heave!
Break. Jesus Christ asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Physio's confession: Jesus Christ purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Kyrie Irving, this reliable star, barks at the teammate! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
Kyrie Irving, this multi-time All-Star, sends the leather wide! The touch is off tonight!
George Soros communicates the switch! Clear as a philanthropist's instructions!
This absolute legend George Soros can barely jump! The springs are gone driving to the hoop!
Victor Wembanyama, this walking skyscraper, hangs the head. Tough loss despite eyes in the back of the head effort.
Anthony Edwards's lip is trembling. Jesus Christ dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. I learned that Anthony Edwards's father was a philanthropist. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
116-109 (W)
Victor Wembanyama, this up-and-coming baller, draws first blood! A buzzer beater to start!
George Soros scores again! When you're a philanthropist by trade, the basketball is child's play!
Kyrie Irving blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Jesus Christ with the give-and-go! Teamwork from competing the game together!
George Soros slows the pace when the team needs it! This basketball god tempo control!
Coach calls everyone back. Jesus Christ drags his feet toward the tunnel. Anecdote: Jesus Christ fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Anthony Edwards spins past the defense for an off-balance shot! Size advantage from this this walking skyscraper!
Jesus Christ lets fly to an eruption! A standing ovation! What a moment!
George Soros, this global icon, picks up the fallen teammate! Nerves of steel beyond the stats!
This all-time great Jesus Christ has that look in the eyes! Watch out! That dawg mentality!
Jesus Christ wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their bare hands and the damn ball!
George Soros hits a dab in 2026. Jesus Christ does an ironic dab. Kyrie Irving has no idea what that is. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
106-89 (W)
This top-tier talent Kyrie Irving means business! Fast start on the low block!
This seasoned vet Anthony Edwards with a cold-blooded thunderous slam! No conscience!
This certified bucket Kyrie Irving takes the charge in transition! Gutsy play!
Victor Wembanyama picks apart the defense! Assist leads to a devastating dunk!
Anthony Edwards shoots to the weak side! This name that's buzzing exploiting the rotation!
Both teams head to the locker room. Victor Wembanyama wipes his forehead with his jersey. Locker room intel: Victor Wembanyama has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Anthony Edwards, this legit talent, operates in transition with an and-one! Clinic!
The entire arena rises for Jesus Christ! A messiah lifted by their bare hands and love!
Jesus Christ holds the huddle together! That messiah leadership on full display!
They said a messiah couldn't play at this level. Jesus Christ and their bare hands disagree!
George Soros celebrates at the final buzzer! Celebration worthy of their bare hands!
Anthony Edwards and Victor Wembanyama run circles around Jesus Christ who doesn't move. Zen. I learned tonight that Anthony Edwards used to be a philanthropist. That explains the unique running style. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
120-86 (W)
George Soros dribbles into position! This all-time great not wasting any time!
A buzzer-beater from Victor Wembanyama! This dude putting the league on notice is putting on a show tonight!
Kyrie Irving penetrates and dishes! Gorgeous feed on the low block! Ridiculous creativity!
Kyrie Irving dunks the basketball with flair and hits a step-back three! Sensational!
Jesus Christ sprints to close out! A sky-high block from mid-range! Great effort!
Back to the locker room. Anthony Edwards punches his locker. Anecdote: Anthony Edwards lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Anthony Edwards scores at will! A layup on the low block! This next-level player domination!
This established player Victor Wembanyama breaks the record margin! Historic blowout!
This established player Anthony Edwards argues a call that went in their favor! Wait what?
Anthony Edwards blows a kiss to the fans! Cool as you like, a salute to the fans!
What a game for Jesus Christ! Tomorrow's the game will feel easy after this!
Victor Wembanyama rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Anthony Edwards does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
120-101 (W)
This absolute legend Jesus Christ gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
A double-clutch layup! George Soros cannot be stopped tonight! This hall-of-fame lock is locked in!
Victor Wembanyama jumps into the passing lane! A perfect contest! Huge play!
This well-respected player Anthony Edwards leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
George Soros finds the angle! The angle philanthropist uses for the game!
Time to breathe. Kyrie Irving has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Little secret: Kyrie Irving listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
This multi-time All-Star Kyrie Irving does it again! A tear drop with effortless precision!
Jesus Christ explodes in front of the home faithful! A sold-out gym on fire! Beautiful!
Jesus Christ glues the team together! Team-first mentality, pure messiah instinct!
Kyrie Irving, this max-contract guy, answers every challenge! Iron discipline never fading!
Jesus Christ with the game ball! Earned it the hard way, messiah style!
George Soros runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
112-81 (W)
George Soros steps onto the arena! From competing the game to this, game time!
George Soros catches fire! And it's a bank shot! Eyes in the back of the head taking over!
Victor Wembanyama pinpoints the pass at the buzzer! Another assist for this respected competitor!
Jesus Christ handles the Wilson like their bare hands. A hook shot on the low block! The precision of a messiah!
Victor Wembanyama times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A drawn charge on the low block!
The locker room. Anthony Edwards sprawls out full-length on the bench. Confession: Anthony Edwards believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Kyrie Irving spins past everyone for a euro-step! This smooth operator on a mission!
Jesus Christ showboats with a raised fist! Even the game gets a rest in blowouts!
This certified bucket Kyrie Irving runs the wrong play again! Coach is beside themselves!
Anthony Edwards dribbles and pounds the chest! A team high-five! Warrior mentality!
Jesus Christ salutes the fans! A messiah's farewell until the next game!
George Soros hugs the mascot. Jesus Christ hugs the referee. Awkward. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
126-89 (W)
Anthony Edwards takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This solid pro locked in!
This dude putting the league on notice Victor Wembanyama is automatic along the baseline! A sky hook drops again!
Jesus Christ generates another look! Creative vision worthy of a messiah!
Victor Wembanyama drains a buzzer-beater off the pick and roll! Textbook a gym-rat work ethic!
Victor Wembanyama a sky-high block with authority! This oversized freak protecting the paint!
End of the first act. Kyrie Irving is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Bus driver's confession: Kyrie Irving raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
George Soros converts with authority! Same energy they bring to competing the game!
George Soros stat-pads without shame! Filling the box score like a resume!
Jesus Christ shoots a full-court shot and almost makes it! This guy with rings on every finger so close!
George Soros throws the finger guns at the crowd! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench after a tear drop!
Kyrie Irving lets fly the trophy! This established star adds to the collection! A team high-five!
George Soros launches his shoe into the air. Kyrie Irving catches it. Standing ovation. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce George Soros's name. Forgive me. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
101-118 (L)
Jesus Christ wins the opening tip! Tipping off with messiah energy!
George Soros forces a bad and-one! This all-time great needs to trust teammates!
This next-level player Anthony Edwards gets pickpocketed on the low block! Sloppy handling!
Jesus Christ watches them score! Just watching, like watching their bare hands gather dust!
Victor Wembanyama, this up-and-coming baller, unleashes a buzzer beater from the right corner! Bang!
The players file out. Victor Wembanyama exchanges a tense look with the coach. Anecdote: Victor Wembanyama tried to impress the Minnesota Ice-Wall players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Victor Wembanyama, this titan, waves off the play call! Ego the size of Texas hurting the team!
Anthony Edwards, this guy with a proven track record, pulls the trigger from way beyond the arc but no luck!
Kyrie Irving attacks into the right spacing! Next-level basketball IQ and elite court awareness!
Victor Wembanyama, this beanpole, looks exhausted along the baseline! The legs are gone!
This first-ballot legend George Soros stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this first-ballot legend wanted.
Jesus Christ sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Victor Wembanyama winces. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
104-100 (W)
Victor Wembanyama, this walking skyscraper, is introduced and the arena explodes! This dude putting the league on notice is in the building!
Kyrie Irving with a textbook defensive stance! That's how you do it!
Anthony Edwards dunks but it's well off! Tendency to force bad shots under fatigue!
Anthony Edwards, this titan, dominates at half court and puts up an alley-oop! Unstoppable!
Victor Wembanyama, this hooper's hooper, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for an off-balance shot!
The players head in. Anthony Edwards slips on the wet tunnel floor. Confession: Anthony Edwards believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
This respected competitor Victor Wembanyama won't let the team lose! A devastating dunk in the extra period!
This household name Jesus Christ disrupts the play with a timely monster swat!
George Soros, this versatile guy, gets the standing ovation! A hostile crowd!
Anthony Edwards penetrates and finishes through contact! And-one on a strategic timeout!
Final buzzer! George Soros's philanthropist shift on the hardwood ends in triumph!
Victor Wembanyama rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Anthony Edwards does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
111-107 (W)
Kyrie Irving attacks onto the floor! The crowd roars for this max-contract guy!
Kyrie Irving, this tweener, covers ground to get the double team! Wow!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, bobbles the Wilson and the chance evaporates in the paint!
A deep three from Anthony Edwards at the top of the key! That's a statement right there!
Anthony Edwards penetrates to the right spot! Scary good handles off-ball movement!
Halftime whistle. George Soros has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Anecdote: George Soros lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Jesus Christ, this guy with rings on every finger, rises to the occasion! A half-court heave at the top of the key! Huge!
This established player Victor Wembanyama forces the bad pass! Ridiculous creativity creating turnovers!
The crowd chants Jesus Christ's name! A sold-out gym on fire for the messiah with their bare hands!
George Soros wills them to victory! The willpower of a philanthropist who never quits the game!
George Soros takes the applause! Deserved, for a philanthropist with their bare hands!
George Soros rips the net off the rim. Anthony Edwards wraps it around his neck like a scarf. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
105-104 (W)
The game begins and Anthony Edwards is ready! You can see an unmatched feel for the game written all over his face!
George Soros drops into help defense! Always there when you need a philanthropist!
Anthony Edwards gets a clean look but hot head costs the bucket!
Kyrie Irving, this smooth operator, showcases eyes in the back of the head with a gorgeous sky hook!
This headliner Kyrie Irving adjusts the angle mid-drive! Scary good handles body control!
The players head in. George Soros slips on the wet tunnel floor. I've been told George Soros once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Jesus Christ won't let them lose! Determination of a messiah protecting the game!
Anthony Edwards, this big fella, with the clutch clutch steal! The crowd is on its feet!
An incredible energy as Jesus Christ nails a free throw! The messiah delivers!
This guy with a proven track record Anthony Edwards converts the free throws under pressure! A killer instinct under pressure!
Jesus Christ hangs up the tall socks! Calling it a night, the messiah is done!
Victor Wembanyama takes a bow for the crowd. Anthony Edwards bows to Victor Wembanyama. The nobility of basketball. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
102-122 (L)
Jesus Christ gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a messiah on day one!
Anthony Edwards misses the open look! This up-and-coming baller can't believe it! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Kyrie Irving, this versatile guy, gets stripped in the paint! Hot head exposed!
Victor Wembanyama gets crossed over! This solid pro left frozen under the basket!
This next-level player Anthony Edwards capitalizes in transition! A deep three with that dawg mentality!
Time to breathe. George Soros has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Rumor has it George Soros has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
This household name Jesus Christ stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Kyrie Irving, this swiss-army-knife type, can't finish from mid-range! That one stings!
Victor Wembanyama pushes the pace in transition! An unmatched feel for the game showing in every play!
Victor Wembanyama, this absolute unit, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Jesus Christ, this global icon, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
George Soros's eyes are red, jaw tight. Kyrie Irving apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
96-111 (L)
Victor Wembanyama opens with a double-clutch layup! This well-respected player making an early statement!
Jesus Christ shoots short! Not enough juice! Even a messiah would cringe!
Kyrie Irving blows past into a dead end at the buzzer! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure!
This name that's buzzing Anthony Edwards commits the and-one foul! Lack of consistency in positioning!
Jesus Christ sinks it at the buzzer. A messiah never misses the game, and never misses the hoop!
End of the first half. Jesus Christ is beet red but still standing. Juicy anecdote: Jesus Christ was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Victor Wembanyama, this established player, refuses to high-five! Lack of consistency hurting the chemistry!
Victor Wembanyama with the off-balance double-clutch layup! This up-and-coming baller couldn't set the feet!
Anthony Edwards, this mountain of a man, exploits the mismatch driving to the hoop! Smart play!
Victor Wembanyama bends over during the dead ball! This hooper's hooper gathering what's left!
Jesus Christ sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a messiah after their bare hands broke!
Jesus Christ's gaze is cold, distant. Victor Wembanyama's gaze is hot, angry. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
99-94 (W)
This next-level player Anthony Edwards comes out aggressive! Opens with a reverse layup at the top of the key!
Jesus Christ steps back the rock with purpose! A pull-up jumper! This global icon means business!
Anthony Edwards with the huge iron-wall defense from the left corner! This seasoned vet says no!
George Soros dishes through traffic! Threading the needle like a pro!
Anthony Edwards, this titan, sets a brick-wall screen! An unmatched feel for the game on full display!
Rest. Jesus Christ buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Locker room anecdote: Jesus Christ talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Anthony Edwards fades away the rock beautifully for a thunderous slam! What touch!
Listen to that roar! Victor Wembanyama fires away and the place explodes!
This name that's buzzing Anthony Edwards celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Kyrie Irving, this versatile guy, sets the tone with iron discipline! Leader!
George Soros walks off the hardwood victorious! A philanthropist who conquered it all tonight!
George Soros mimes popping a champagne bottle. Kyrie Irving mimes chugging straight from it. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
95-97 (L)
George Soros comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the philanthropist means business!
Victor Wembanyama knocks down a bucket back to the basket! Ice in the veins!
Jesus Christ, this combo guard, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over heavy feet!
Air ball from Jesus Christ! Being a messiah doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Jesus Christ leads the charge back! Charging forward with messiah tenacity!
Rest time. Anthony Edwards isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Exclusive info: Anthony Edwards is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
This legit talent Victor Wembanyama gets the look but can't convert! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Kyrie Irving, this do-it-all player, shows negative body language! Injury-prone body creeping in!
Victor Wembanyama goes to work with conviction! This name that's buzzing believes tonight is the night!
Victor Wembanyama, this mammoth, gets blocked in the clutch! A ball recovery denies this league veteran!
George Soros looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a philanthropist!
Victor Wembanyama scratches the back of his neck nervously. George Soros has the look of someone who has seen things. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
My Team ends the season #7 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season Journal
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Victor Wembanyama. Standing at 224 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's George Soros. A philanthropist in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. George Soros has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
My Team ends the season #7 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
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