hjgyuyugi — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 3 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 4 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 10 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | hjgyuyugi | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Hjgyuyugi! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's George Washington. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 74 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Joe Biden. A university professor in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles their lecture notes better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Joe Biden has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the young scholars and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Let's talk money. We'll keep it short because there ain't any. The budget is so low that the equipment manager also does the accounting, the post-game spread is leftover Domino's on discount, and the last free agent who toured the facility ran for the hills. But damn it, these guys don't care. They play with the fury of men who have everything to prove and nothing to lose. This is the most dangerous team in the league, not because they're good, but because they don't give a single damn about losing.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
74-118 (L)
Joe Biden steps onto the gym! From challenging the young scholars to this, game time!
George Washington takes a tough step-back three and it doesn't go! Occasional mental lapses in shot selection!
Joe Biden charges right into the defender! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure when controlling pace!
Joe Biden caught flat-footed! Standing still, the university professor reflexes took a nap!
Ronald Reagan, this scrappy guard, waves off the play call! Tendency to force bad shots hurting the team!
Back in the locker room, Kamala Harris sits down and stares at the ceiling. Did you know Kamala Harris keeps a photo of her dog in her right shoe? It's a Bichon. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
This basketball god George Washington throws up a prayer driving to the hoop! Not answered!
Donald Trump waves for a timeout! The film producer needs the risky picture break!
Donald Trump commits the live-ball turnover! Their loaded checkbook would be ashamed!
Kamala Harris sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a geomatics analyst after a long shift!
Kamala Harris sits alone on the bench. This hall-of-fame lock processing the defeat.
Ronald Reagan claps his hands in frustration. Donald Trump clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
111-108 (W)
Ronald Reagan starts in the franchise player! Playing the franchise player the way a movie actor plays with the script binder!
Ronald Reagan a double team at the critical moment! A gym-rat work ethic right on cue!
George Washington rattles it out! Shaking the field house with the seed dibber intensity!
Donald Trump hits the triple! Three points, three cheers for this film producer turned baller!
Ronald Reagan manipulates the defense! Manipulation worthy of the script binder on the film character!
Rest. Ronald Reagan buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Fun fact: Ronald Reagan blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Ronald Reagan, this all-time great, with the cold-blooded finger roll along the baseline!
George Washington deflects the pass! Redirecting with farmer instincts!
Immense pressure as Kamala Harris, this small but mighty player, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Ronald Reagan converts at the line in an electric crowd! Focus of a movie actor with the script binder!
Joe Biden wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their lecture notes and the ball!
Donald Trump hits a dab in 2026. Joe Biden does an ironic dab. George Washington has no idea what that is. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
104-91 (W)
Kamala Harris stretches center court! Loosening up, the geomatics analyst is getting ready!
George Washington punishes the defense! A farmer punishing the stubborn soil with precision!
Donald Trump with a rebound in traffic! The reflexes of a film producer catching the risky picture!
Ronald Reagan shovels the pass! Moving the Wilson with the script binder efficiency!
Ronald Reagan makes the hockey pass! A gym-rat work ethic finding the extra pass!
Into the tunnel. Ronald Reagan grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Anecdote: Ronald Reagan slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Joe Biden nails a free throw on the decisive possession! A university professor who delivers when it matters!
Post-game fireworks for Donald Trump! Brighter than their loaded checkbook on a perfect day!
Ronald Reagan makes the extra pass! Extra effort, the movie actor way!
Kamala Harris is the people's champion! A geomatics analyst for the people, the game for all!
Ronald Reagan pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This potential GOAT savors the win!
Kamala Harris hits a dab in 2026. Donald Trump does an ironic dab. Joe Biden has no idea what that is. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
107-83 (W)
Kamala Harris opens with a pull-up jumper! This guy with rings on every finger making an early statement!
Ronald Reagan banks it in transition! A movie actor's steady hand at work!
Kamala Harris clamps down! Tighter than a geomatics analyst's grip on their bare hands!
Ronald Reagan with the no-look pass! Portraying the film character blindfolded!
Joe Biden exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with their lecture notes acumen!
Break time. Ronald Reagan bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Fun fact: Ronald Reagan failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
George Washington drops an off-balance shot from the three-point line! Range that would impress any farmer!
An incredible energy spikes every time Donald Trump touches the ball! The film producer effect!
Joe Biden, this do-it-all player, sets the perfect screen! Ridiculous creativity for the team!
This game belongs to George Washington! This guy with rings on every finger stamping authority from the left corner!
Donald Trump, this living legend, with the post-game interview smile! Insane court vision all night!
Kamala Harris and Donald Trump stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
111-103 (W)
This hall-of-fame lock Donald Trump gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Ronald Reagan tallies another one! This movie actor keeps racking them up!
Ronald Reagan swats it away! A monster swat with that movie actor strength!
Joe Biden, this franchise cornerstone, sets the table at the buzzer! Assist master!
George Washington finds the angle! The angle farmer uses for the stubborn soil!
Break time. Donald Trump bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know Donald Trump plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Donald Trump handles the ball like their loaded checkbook. A pull-up jumper on the low block! The precision of a film producer!
Listen to that roar! Kamala Harris pulls up and the place explodes!
Ronald Reagan boxes out for the teammate! Making room like a movie actor with the film character!
Ronald Reagan, this low-to-the-ground speedster, sets the tone with eyes in the back of the head! Leader!
Kamala Harris heads to the locker room with a smile! Good day at the office for the geomatics analyst!
George Washington drops to his knees and kisses the court. Donald Trump pretends to gag. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
94-101 (L)
This once-in-a-lifetime player Joe Biden means business! Fast start in the paint!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Donald Trump short-arms a bank shot driving to the hoop! Not enough lift!
Joe Biden, this tweener, gets stripped at half court! Tendency to rush exposed!
Donald Trump gets posted up and scored on! This hall-of-fame lock overpowered!
George Washington scores a fadeaway jumper in a packed arena! The seed dibber vibes radiating across the gymnasium!
Halftime whistle. Joe Biden spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Did you know Joe Biden started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Joe Biden slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a university professor hits the workbench!
A bucket attempt by Kamala Harris falls short! Limited stamina in the legs!
George Washington uses that farmer IQ on the court! Tactical brilliance!
Donald Trump is gassed! This global icon bent over at half court! Defense that's basically a suggestion catching up!
Joe Biden tips the cap to the winners! The university professor's grace with the young scholars!
Donald Trump lets out a big exhale walking through the door. George Washington holds his in. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
89-133 (L)
Donald Trump locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a film producer who means business!
This first-ballot legend Ronald Reagan muscles up a thunderous slam but can't get it to fall!
Intercepted! George Washington's pass snatched right out of the air! A farmer would never be that careless!
George Washington can't stay in front! Cultivating the stubborn soil doesn't build lateral quickness!
Joe Biden storms to the bench! This global icon is visibly upset!
Halftime. Donald Trump throws his towel on the floor walking in. Fun fact: Donald Trump tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Kamala Harris, this little firecracker, gets the separation but can't finish! Tendency to force bad shots!
Kamala Harris gulps water! As thirsty as a geomatics analyst reaching for the game!
George Washington loses the Wilson! A farmer would never be this careless!
Joe Biden mouths off on a clutch free throw! A university professor venting about the young scholars!
Kamala Harris absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a geomatics analyst knows tough days!
Ronald Reagan's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Kamala Harris hides her eyes under a towel. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
86-115 (L)
This potential GOAT George Washington comes out firing! A layup in the first minute!
Kamala Harris, this certified GOAT candidate, sends the orange wide! The touch is off tonight!
Stolen from Kamala Harris! A geomatics analyst who let it slip through their fingers!
Ronald Reagan bites on the fake! Fooled like a movie actor by counterfeit the film character!
Ronald Reagan scores from the right corner! A layup with silky smooth technique! Brilliant!
The players head in. Joe Biden slips on the wet tunnel floor. Did you know Joe Biden started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
George Washington argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to cultivating the stubborn soil!
George Washington skips it off the rim! The stubborn soil has better hop than that!
Donald Trump goes small-ball! Adapting like a film producer who reads the room!
Kamala Harris bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a geomatics analyst after their bare hands overtime!
Ronald Reagan, this undersized spark plug, hangs the head. Tough loss despite ridiculous creativity effort.
George Washington watches the crowd file out in silence. Ronald Reagan prefers not to look. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
88-107 (L)
Opening possession for George Washington! First touch, like first touch of the seed dibber!
George Washington, this little firecracker, wastes a golden chance with a wild thunderous slam!
Joe Biden with the careless pass! Challenging the young scholars with more care, please!
George Washington, this pocket rocket, fouls unnecessarily off the pick and roll! Injury-prone body!
George Washington converts at the top of the key! A floater with trademark next-level basketball IQ!
Back in the locker room, George Washington sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote of the day: George Washington forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Joe Biden shakes their head! A university professor who can't believe that just happened!
George Washington can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this all-time great!
Donald Trump baits the defender! Got them hook, line, and sinker!
This first-ballot legend Kamala Harris has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Donald Trump tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we greenlights better, like the risky picture!'
Joe Biden unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Ronald Reagan runs a hand down his face. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
99-122 (L)
Joe Biden, this all-time great, embraces the standing ovation! Game on!
Ronald Reagan steps back the orange right into the defender's hands! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Donald Trump double-dribbles! Greenlighting the risky picture doesn't have that rule!
This franchise cornerstone Joe Biden bites on the fake! Beaten from mid-range!
Joe Biden converts a tough fadeaway jumper from the right corner! Skill level: elite!
Halftime whistle. Kamala Harris high-fives her teammates on the way out. Intel: Kamala Harris asked Denver Horse-Track for their energy drink recipe. They refused. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Joe Biden stares in disbelief! The look of a university professor who just lost everything!
Kamala Harris launches but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Ronald Reagan communicates the switch! Clear as a movie actor's instructions!
Joe Biden digs deep! Deep as a university professor digs into the young scholars!
George Washington walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to farmer life tomorrow!
George Washington sits on the floor in the hallway. Kamala Harris sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
87-132 (L)
The court welcomes Kamala Harris! The geomatics analyst with the game has arrived!
Donald Trump fires and misses facing the rim. Should have stuck with the risky picture!
George Washington lets fly into a dead end from the right corner! Turnover! Tendency to rush!
Donald Trump loses the screen battle! Injury-prone body around the picks!
Donald Trump can't mask the disappointment! This all-time great wearing it on the sleeve!
Halftime. Ronald Reagan is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. I've been told Ronald Reagan once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Ronald Reagan short on the attempt! Needs the reach of the script binder!
Donald Trump is spent! Used up like the risky picture after a film producer's long day!
Kamala Harris botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Kamala Harris tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the geomatics analyst will bounce back!
Ronald Reagan refuses to make excuses! A movie actor owns the film character failures too!
Donald Trump walks toward the tunnel without a word. Joe Biden stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
90-103 (L)
George Washington begins their shift on the gym! A farmer starting the seed dibber shift!
Ronald Reagan, this undersized spark plug, bobbles the basketball and the chance evaporates back to the basket!
Donald Trump spins into a trap! Occasional mental lapses when reading the defense!
Donald Trump beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the risky picture slipping from a film producer!
Ronald Reagan hits at the last second! Clutch like a movie actor meeting a deadline!
Halftime! Ronald Reagan has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Fun fact: Ronald Reagan blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
George Washington looks to the heavens! A farmer praying for the seed dibber to work!
Ronald Reagan launches from deep and misses! A movie actor's range doesn't apply here!
Ronald Reagan shoots with purpose every possession! This basketball god chess master!
Ronald Reagan grabs the shorts! This basketball god is running on fumes!
Joe Biden consoles teammates! The heart of a university professor in that moment!
Kamala Harris slams her fist on the bench. George Washington places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
82-110 (L)
Kamala Harris, this undisputed superstar, draws first blood! A thunderous slam to start!
George Washington fires a brick from way beyond the arc! Way off, even for a farmer!
Joe Biden with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the young scholars!
Donald Trump gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a film producer's worst day on the job!
Joe Biden, this household name, threads the needle for an and-one from mid-range!
Halftime. Joe Biden wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. They say Joe Biden eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
This generational talent Donald Trump shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Donald Trump, this smooth operator, can't finish off the pick and roll! That one stings!
Donald Trump adjusts the matchup! Finding the right fit, the film producer approach!
This generational talent Joe Biden signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Tendency to rush!
Kamala Harris walks off in defeat! Even a geomatics analyst's skills couldn't save tonight!
Donald Trump is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. George Washington waits at the tunnel entrance. Tonight I had a revelation: George Washington runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
105-106 (L)
And we're underway! George Washington touches the rock first! This basketball god looks eager!
Donald Trump goes baseline and scores! The risky picture prepared them for this moment!
This certified GOAT candidate George Washington can't recover! Scored on at the buzzer! Ego the size of Texas!
Donald Trump launches and misses! The pill isn't the risky picture, and it shows!
Donald Trump keeps the faith! The faith of a film producer in the risky picture!
Break! Donald Trump has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Anecdote: Donald Trump lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Ronald Reagan can't convert in overtime! This franchise cornerstone shrinks in the moment!
Donald Trump storms to the bench! Heated! This film producer doesn't handle losing well!
From the script binder to a euro-step, Ronald Reagan's range is unmatched!
Joe Biden misses in the clutch! A buzzer beater off the mark in the fourth quarter!
Ronald Reagan attacks past the media. This potential GOAT not in the mood to talk.
Ronald Reagan and Kamala Harris walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
88-132 (L)
Donald Trump takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Donald Trump misses! Even a film producer can't fix that shot!
This once-in-a-lifetime player George Washington commits the 5-second violation! Clock management injury-prone body!
George Washington left in the dust! Even a farmer moves faster than that!
Kamala Harris attacks the towel! This global icon showing defense that's basically a suggestion!
End of the second quarter. Kamala Harris is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Physio's confession: Kamala Harris purrs when you massage her calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Ronald Reagan bricks it! Not the same accuracy as portraying the film character!
George Washington wipes sweat with the jersey! Drenched, the farmer has been putting in work!
Donald Trump dribbles it off their foot! Their loaded checkbook would never betray a film producer like that!
George Washington waves off the play! The authority of a farmer in that gesture!
Kamala Harris reflects on what could have been. Limited stamina the difference tonight.
Joe Biden lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Donald Trump holds his in. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
hjgyuyugi finishes #12 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: George Washington.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Hjgyuyugi!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's George Washington. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 74 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Joe Biden. A university professor in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles their lecture notes better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Joe Biden has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the young scholars and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
Let's talk money. We'll keep it short because there ain't any. The budget is so low that the equipment manager also does the accounting, the post-game spread is leftover Domino's on discount, and the last free agent who toured the facility ran for the hills. But damn it, these guys don't care. They play with the fury of men who have everything to prove and nothing to lose. This is the most dangerous team in the league, not because they're good, but because they don't give a single damn about losing.
hjgyuyugi finishes #12 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: George Washington.
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