asj — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | asj | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Asj! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Shikamaru. Just the name sends chills through the building. The man is massive, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed levi. The man is an amateur. A freaking amateur. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
88-132 (L)
The game begins and levi is ready! You can see natural-born leadership written all over his face!
No. 1 aura farmer dribbles but overcooks it! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing up again!
Deadbeat dad toji coughs up the leather! Shaky emotions under pressure strikes again from downtown!
No. 1 aura farmer gets burned on the drive! Lack of consistency in lateral movement!
Deadbeat dad toji, this player nobody saw coming, yells at the coaching staff! Heavy feet causing friction!
Coach calls everyone back. Domon drags his feet toward the tunnel. Rumor has it domon does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Domon, this all-around player, loses the handle and the opportunity! Sometimes predictable game!
Levi is visibly tired! This dark horse needs a timeout badly!
Levi dunks into a dead end along the baseline! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Domon mutters to himself walking back! This guy nobody was talking about fighting inner demons!
Deadbeat dad toji dunks past the media. This guy nobody was talking about not in the mood to talk.
Shikamaru is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Deadbeat dad toji waits at the tunnel entrance. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
88-132 (L)
Deadbeat dad toji opens with a sky hook! This rising star making an early statement!
Domon, this smooth operator, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this dark horse!
This raw talent no. 1 aura farmer with turnover number buckets! Tendency to force bad shots is piling up!
Shikamaru gets crossed over! This who-is-this-guy player left frozen on the low block!
No. 1 aura farmer storms to the bench! This hungry young player is visibly upset!
Coach calls everyone back. Shikamaru drags his feet toward the tunnel. Confession: shikamaru tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
This rising star deadbeat dad toji throws up a prayer from mid-range! Not answered!
Shikamaru short-arms the shot from fatigue! This potential breakout star has nothing left!
This diamond in the rough deadbeat dad toji forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
This diamond in the rough domon stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
No. 1 aura farmer reflects on what could have been. Injury-prone body the difference tonight.
Domon watches the crowd file out in silence. Shikamaru prefers not to look. Behind the scenes, I learned shikamaru was also a volunteer firefighter in a past life. You can feel it in the game. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
82-127 (L)
Domon, this who-is-this-guy player, draws first blood! A finger roll to start!
No. 1 aura farmer goes to work but the shot rims out! Lack of consistency rears its ugly head!
This newcomer domon commits the offensive foul! Turnover back to the basket!
Shikamaru gives up the back door! Lack of consistency when overplaying!
This player nobody saw coming levi shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Halftime. Shikamaru is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. The staff told me shikamaru sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
No. 1 aura farmer, this all-around player, bobbles the Wilson and the chance evaporates from way beyond the arc!
This surprise package domon can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
No. 1 aura farmer attacks into a trap! Heavy feet when reading the defense!
Levi gets a technical for complaining! Hot head on full display!
No. 1 aura farmer drives to the tunnel in disappointment. This unknown gem will learn from this.
Shikamaru kicks his towel across the floor. Levi has already left for the locker room, alone. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
87-132 (L)
No. 1 aura farmer, this all-around player, announced to huge cheers! A boiling cauldron!
Domon, this combo guard, can't finish from the left corner! That one stings!
Deadbeat dad toji penetrates the Wilson right to the defense! Costly mistake by this who-is-this-guy player!
Domon bites on the pump fake! This unknown gem sent flying from mid-range!
Deadbeat dad toji, this solid build, throws the hands up! Exasperated from mid-range!
Coach calls everyone back. Levi drags his feet toward the tunnel. Did you know? Levi once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
No. 1 aura farmer can't buy a bucket! Another miss in transition! Frustrating!
No. 1 aura farmer blows past sluggishly! Tendency to force bad shots catching up with this raw talent!
Levi charges right into the defender! Turnover! Sometimes predictable game when controlling pace!
Shikamaru slams the rock in frustration! Lack of consistency on full display!
Levi had the chances but couldn't convert. This diamond in the rough left wanting.
Shikamaru sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Levi winces. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
83-128 (L)
This guy nobody was talking about domon comes out aggressive! Opens with a sky hook at half court!
Deadbeat dad toji gets a clean look but hot head costs the bucket!
No. 1 aura farmer, this combo guard, steps out of bounds with the basketball! Mental lapse!
Domon, this solid build, can't keep up with the speed! Tendency to rush exposed!
Domon, this dark horse, with the frustrated foul! Ego the size of Texas in tough moments!
Halftime whistle. Levi flops into the first available chair. Did you know levi knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Phoenix No-Defense's colors. By accident, obviously. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Shikamaru launches a deep three and... Airball! Tendency to force bad shots at its peak!
Shikamaru asks for the ball to slow the pace! This total unknown needs air!
No. 1 aura farmer, this tweener, gets the ball poked away! Limited stamina when protecting the ball!
Levi can't mask the disappointment! This dude out of nowhere wearing it on the sleeve!
This diamond in the rough deadbeat dad toji leaves the gymnasium with head held high. Fought to the end.
Domon replays the score in his head on a loop. Deadbeat dad toji tries to think about something else. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
78-122 (L)
This dude out of nowhere deadbeat dad toji opens the scoring! A euro-step! Early advantage!
Shikamaru goes to work and fires but misses everything! Limited stamina tonight!
This surprise package domon with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
No. 1 aura farmer, this combo guard, gets dunked on at half court! Poster material!
Levi attacks and kicks the stanchion! This who-is-this-guy player losing composure!
Break. Domon's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Little scoop: domon collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
This dark horse levi shanks a bucket on the low block! That's uncharacteristic!
Deadbeat dad toji is gassed! This hidden prospect bent over at half court! Injury-prone body catching up!
Levi throws it away! Tendency to force bad shots under pressure off the pick and roll!
Domon explodes the towel! This diamond in the rough showing defense that's basically a suggestion!
No. 1 aura farmer, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite pure God-given talent effort.
Deadbeat dad toji pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. No. 1 aura farmer takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
78-122 (L)
Tip-off! Deadbeat dad toji gets us started! Let's go!
Domon attacks but it's well off! Occasional mental lapses under fatigue!
No. 1 aura farmer lets fly carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Domon scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Injury-prone body!
Domon, this combo guard, pounds the scorer's table! Hot head on full display!
Heading in. No. 1 aura farmer's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Small detail: no. 1 aura farmer wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Deadbeat dad toji, this player nobody saw coming, comes up empty! A reverse layup off target from way beyond the arc!
This hungry young player shikamaru calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Shaky emotions under pressure taking its toll!
No. 1 aura farmer tries to be too fancy and loses the rock! Limited stamina in the decision-making!
Shikamaru takes off away from the huddle! This who-is-this-guy player in a dark place mentally!
Domon, this versatile guy, trudges off the den. Lessons to take from this one.
Shikamaru's eyes are glassy. Domon mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
77-122 (L)
Levi, this combo guard, sets the tone immediately! Silky smooth technique from the jump!
Levi air-mails an and-one back to the basket! Way off for this dude out of nowhere!
Domon, this combo guard, commits the travel! Injury-prone body in the footwork!
Shikamaru gets posted up and scored on! This raw talent overpowered!
This dude out of nowhere shikamaru throws an elbow in frustration! Limited stamina on full display!
Break! Domon has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Physio's confession: domon purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Deadbeat dad toji, this swiss-army-knife type, gets the look but can't convert back to the basket!
Shikamaru, this do-it-all player, looks exhausted off the pick and roll! The legs are gone!
Shikamaru throws it into the stands! What was that from this hidden prospect!
Levi fades away angrily after the turnover! This raw talent spiraling!
No. 1 aura farmer sits alone on the bench. This guy nobody was talking about processing the defeat.
Domon pulls his cap down over his eyes. Deadbeat dad toji doesn't have a cap, and it shows. I learned tonight that domon used to be a volunteer firefighter. That explains the unique running style. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
77-121 (L)
Deadbeat dad toji, this tweener, is introduced and the arena explodes! This total unknown is in the building!
Shikamaru forces a bad fadeaway jumper! This guy nobody was talking about needs to trust teammates!
This player nobody saw coming levi commits the 5-second violation! Clock management occasional mental lapses!
This player nobody saw coming domon fouls reaching in! Limited stamina on defense!
This dude out of nowhere domon can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Back to the locker room. Deadbeat dad toji punches his locker. Exclusive info: deadbeat dad toji is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Domon can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this player nobody saw coming!
This total unknown domon can't close out! The legs are shot on the low block!
Domon loses the Wilson in traffic! This hidden prospect can't afford that!
Deadbeat dad toji mouths off and picks up a T! Lack of consistency taking over!
Shikamaru, this player nobody saw coming, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
No. 1 aura farmer refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Levi watches it and immediately regrets it. I got a text from no. 1 aura farmer after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
90-135 (L)
No. 1 aura farmer dribbles onto the floor! The crowd roars for this dark horse!
A layup from domon catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Domon with a wild pass that sails out! This raw talent giving it away!
This hungry young player levi picks up the cheap foul! Ego the size of Texas showing!
Shikamaru, this combo guard, shows negative body language! Defense that's basically a suggestion creeping in!
Break. Deadbeat dad toji asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Anecdote: deadbeat dad toji slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Shikamaru fades away the orange but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Shikamaru, this rising star, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Domon with the backcourt violation! This rising star under too much pressure!
Deadbeat dad toji, this versatile guy, waves off the play call! Injury-prone body hurting the team!
Domon, this total unknown, takes the loss hard. Tendency to rush at the wrong moments.
Domon walks head down toward the tunnel. Levi drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
77-121 (L)
This unknown gem deadbeat dad toji in the starting lineup! Let's see what this unknown gem brings!
Brick! Shikamaru misfires facing the rim! Limited stamina at the worst time!
Domon, this combo guard, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted in transition!
Shikamaru, this do-it-all player, gets blown by on the perimeter! Hot head in the legs!
Deadbeat dad toji drops the head after another miss! Heavy feet sapping the confidence!
Halftime. Deadbeat dad toji throws his towel on the floor walking in. Word is deadbeat dad toji sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
This dark horse no. 1 aura farmer misfires again! Limited stamina could cost the team!
No. 1 aura farmer, this combo guard, laboring up and down! Defense that's basically a suggestion draining the energy!
Deadbeat dad toji, this swiss-army-knife type, gets stripped in transition! Sometimes predictable game exposed!
Levi picks up the second technical! This raw talent ejected! Sometimes predictable game!
Levi walks off in silence. This unknown gem gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Shikamaru snaps at the bench on his way out. Levi says nothing, but his look says everything. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
74-118 (L)
Deadbeat dad toji, this unknown gem, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Levi posts up the leather right into the defender's hands! Tendency to force bad shots!
Shikamaru, this swiss-army-knife type, fumbles the entry pass in the paint!
This guy nobody was talking about levi gives up the offensive rebound! Heavy feet when boxing out!
Deadbeat dad toji, this dude out of nowhere, refuses to high-five! Hot head hurting the chemistry!
Break! Levi has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Did you know levi plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Shikamaru, this hungry young player, sends the orange wide! The touch is off tonight!
Shikamaru misses from fatigue! This player nobody saw coming can't get the elevation off the pick and roll!
This rising star deadbeat dad toji gets pickpocketed back to the basket! Sloppy handling!
Deadbeat dad toji glares at the scoreboard! This rising star not happy with the situation!
This potential breakout star no. 1 aura farmer shakes hands and moves on. In the end, heavy feet proved costly.
Deadbeat dad toji refuses Cleveland Twin-Towers's handshake. Shikamaru offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
79-123 (L)
Levi crosses over into position! This total unknown not wasting any time!
Levi fires an off-balance shot facing the rim but can't connect! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing!
This who-is-this-guy player domon dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
No. 1 aura farmer lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this guy nobody was talking about fooled!
Deadbeat dad toji, this who-is-this-guy player, barks at the teammate! Limited stamina taking over!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Shikamaru walks head down toward the tunnel. I've been told shikamaru always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Levi explodes the pill into the front rim! That's frustrating for this dude out of nowhere!
Levi, this versatile guy, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Shikamaru with the lazy pass! Heavy feet leading to easy points!
Levi, this do-it-all player, sits down hard on the bench! Tendency to rush written all over his face!
This rising star levi tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
No. 1 aura farmer lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Shikamaru holds his in. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
88-133 (L)
And we're underway! Levi touches the orange first! This guy nobody was talking about looks eager!
Domon, this total unknown, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Shikamaru with the errant pass! This unknown gem needs to settle down!
This who-is-this-guy player levi commits the and-one foul! Shaky emotions under pressure in positioning!
This unknown gem levi hangs the head after the miss! Deflated at the top of the key!
Cut! Halftime. Domon's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Physio's confession: domon purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Deadbeat dad toji with the contested thunderous slam at the top of the key! No good! Bad selection!
This total unknown levi signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Injury-prone body!
Shikamaru passes to nobody! This guy nobody was talking about with a head-scratching decision!
This diamond in the rough deadbeat dad toji gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
This diamond in the rough no. 1 aura farmer congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this diamond in the rough.
Domon's eyes are red, jaw tight. Levi apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
78-122 (L)
Deadbeat dad toji looks dialed in from the start! That dawg mentality preparation showing!
This newcomer domon short-arms a euro-step from the left corner! Not enough lift!
This guy nobody was talking about deadbeat dad toji loses concentration and the ball with it!
Shikamaru overcommits and gets beat! Hot head when reading the play!
This dude out of nowhere no. 1 aura farmer fouls hard out of frustration! Lack of consistency showing!
Halftime. The doctor examines no. 1 aura farmer's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Word is no. 1 aura farmer sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Levi, this smooth operator, gets the look off the pick and roll but the lid's on the rim!
Shikamaru, this player nobody saw coming, is dragging! The 48 regulation minutes minutes taking their toll!
Domon, this tweener, gets called for the carry! Hot head in ball-handling!
This player nobody saw coming no. 1 aura farmer slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
This player nobody saw coming deadbeat dad toji stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this player nobody saw coming wanted.
Deadbeat dad toji refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. No. 1 aura farmer watches it and immediately regrets it. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
asj finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: shikamaru.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. Ladies and gentlemen... Asj!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Shikamaru. Just the name sends chills through the building. The man is massive, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed levi. The man is an amateur. A freaking amateur. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
asj finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: shikamaru.
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