My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | My Team | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Julius Caesar. The man is massive, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Hippocrates. A military personnel in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles their service rifle better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Hippocrates has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the frontline and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Let's talk budget, and by "budget" I mean the spare change you find between the couch cushions. These guys are so far under the salary floor that the league literally has to GIVE them money to meet the minimum. This is the squad that travels by Greyhound bus and washes their own jerseys. No stars, just hungry rookies on two-way deals and bitter vets signed for the minimum. It's the perfect setup for tanking your way to a top Draft pick, but for the fans, it's a damn desert crossing.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
88-133 (L)
Legolas, this guy everybody knows, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Robert Oppenheimer sends it wide! Their slide rule wouldn't forgive that either!
Legolas forces the pass! Forcing their bare hands where it doesn't fit!
Robert Oppenheimer watches them score! Just watching, like watching their slide rule gather dust!
Robert Oppenheimer vents at their teammates! The engineer who vents about the impossible structure!
That's a wrap for now. Legolas dives into the tunnel. Intel: Legolas once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Robert Oppenheimer rattles in and out! The impossible structure never teases an engineer like that!
Julius Caesar is gassed! More tired than after a full day of defending the frontline!
Julius Caesar, this solid build, gets stripped back to the basket! Shaky emotions under pressure exposed!
Legolas is visibly upset! Upset as an archer when the game goes sideways!
Elon Musk walks off in silence. This hall-of-fame lock gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Legolas kicks his towel across the floor. Elon Musk has already left for the locker room, alone. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
109-90 (W)
Julius Caesar steps onto the court! From defending the frontline to this, game time!
Julius Caesar, this all-around player, overpowers for a buzzer-beater! Size matters!
Elon Musk anchors the defense! Solid as an engineer's foundation!
Elon Musk, this all-time great, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a deep three!
Hippocrates goes small-ball! Adapting like a military personnel who reads the room!
The locker room. Legolas sprawls out full-length on the bench. Did you know? Legolas tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Elon Musk nails a pull-up jumper from deep! Range like their slide rule reaching across the workshop!
The DJ plays Robert Oppenheimer's walkout music! Sounds like their slide rule in rhythm!
Julius Caesar, this living legend, picks up the fallen teammate! Next-level basketball IQ beyond the stats!
Hippocrates becomes the symbol of this rematch, a military personnel defying all the odds!
Legolas with the game ball! Earned it the hard way, archer style!
Julius Caesar drops to his knees and kisses the court. Elon Musk pretends to gag. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
114-100 (W)
Julius Caesar bounces the basketball pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
This surprise package Hippocrates does it again! A buzzer beater with effortless precision!
Julius Caesar picks their pocket! A military personnel with quick hands knows how to handle thieves!
Julius Caesar sets the table! Arranged as neatly as their service rifle on the frontline!
Julius Caesar reads the defense perfectly! Iron discipline and a sky-high basketball IQ!
First half is done. Julius Caesar is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Exclusive: Julius Caesar was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Elon Musk, this all-around player, uses every inch to deliver a hook shot!
The palace of hoops erupts as Elon Musk enters! The engineer gets a hero's welcome!
Hippocrates steps back the Spalding with patience! This player nobody saw coming trusting the system!
The narrative shifts! Robert Oppenheimer takes control with pure God-given talent!
Robert Oppenheimer, this guy with rings on every finger, embraces the teammates! A victory dance! Sweet victory!
Legolas cries tears of joy in Elon Musk's arms. Julius Caesar is also crying but nobody knows why. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
93-107 (L)
Robert Oppenheimer sets the tone early! The engineer came to play tonight!
This franchise guy Legolas short-arms a bank shot from downtown! Not enough lift!
Legolas with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost archer!
Julius Caesar, this do-it-all player, fouls unnecessarily from downtown! Ego the size of Texas!
Elon Musk attacks and scores! A pull-up jumper! This swiss-army-knife type is a problem!
The locker room. Elon Musk sprawls out full-length on the bench. Little scoop: Elon Musk logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Hippocrates can't hide the frustration! Their service rifle frustration meets the pill frustration!
Julius Caesar bricks it! Not the same accuracy as defending the frontline!
Hippocrates makes the hockey pass! Ridiculous creativity finding the extra pass!
Elon Musk is dead on their feet! Running on fumes, the engineer is spent!
Hippocrates takes the loss hard! Hard as the frontline on a bad military personnel day!
Hippocrates walks head down toward the tunnel. Robert Oppenheimer drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
98-117 (L)
Julius Caesar announces themselves! The military personnel has arrived and the building knows it!
Elon Musk can't connect! Their slide rule in hand, sure. The basketball through the hoop, nope!
This potential GOAT Julius Caesar loses concentration and the rock with it!
Julius Caesar fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a military personnel chasing the frontline!
Robert Oppenheimer hooks it in! The arc of an engineer swinging their slide rule!
Back to the locker room. Hippocrates punches his locker. Word is Hippocrates sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
This max-contract guy Legolas hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from way beyond the arc!
Julius Caesar bricks another one! Building something awful with their service rifle tonight!
This guy nobody was talking about Hippocrates uses the floater over this smooth operator coverage! Smart!
Julius Caesar dishes but the legs won't cooperate! Sometimes predictable game catching up!
This headliner Legolas shakes hands and moves on. In the end, defense that's basically a suggestion proved costly.
Legolas walks toward the tunnel without a word. Elon Musk stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. I learned backstage that Elon Musk also does archer on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
93-106 (L)
Hippocrates locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a military personnel who means business!
Robert Oppenheimer misfires in the paint! Their slide rule calibration needed!
Robert Oppenheimer loses the orange! An engineer would never be this careless!
Robert Oppenheimer left in the dust! Even an engineer moves faster than that!
Elon Musk knocks down a sky hook at the buzzer! Ice in the veins!
The players disappear. Elon Musk has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. I've been told Elon Musk always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Julius Caesar, this global icon, refuses to high-five! Defense that's basically a suggestion hurting the chemistry!
Hippocrates can't hit from the top of the key! That zone is cursed for this military personnel!
Elon Musk baits the defender! Got them hook, line, and sinker!
Hippocrates cramps up! Muscles tight from their service rifle and the ball double duty!
Elon Musk reflects on what could have been. Limited stamina the difference tonight.
Legolas closes his eyes walking out. Robert Oppenheimer keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
109-97 (W)
Julius Caesar, this do-it-all player, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
Legolas catches fire! And it's a reverse layup! Pure God-given talent taking over!
This living legend Elon Musk with the volleyball spike a commanding rebound! Emphatic!
Hippocrates with the bounce pass! The Spalding bouncing with precision worthy of their service rifle!
Robert Oppenheimer spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Rest. Robert Oppenheimer buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Confession: Robert Oppenheimer tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
An and-one from Julius Caesar! Another dagger! This first-ballot legend closing the door!
This guy everybody knows Legolas gets the crowd into it! A crowd fully behind them at fever pitch!
Hippocrates celebrates the team's success! This total unknown knows together is better!
The story of Julius Caesar: a military personnel by morning, a baller by night. The frontline would be proud!
Legolas, this all-around player, salutes the faithful! A bench mob celebration! What a night!
Robert Oppenheimer does a belly slide on the court. Hippocrates does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
98-100 (L)
Hippocrates stretches center court! Loosening up, the military personnel is getting ready!
Robert Oppenheimer goes to work and scores! Those engineer hands work wonders with the basketball!
Hippocrates caught flat-footed! Standing still, the military personnel reflexes took a nap!
Julius Caesar air-mails a euro-step off the pick and roll! Way off for this potential GOAT!
Julius Caesar wills the team forward! The will of a military personnel with the frontline!
Back to the locker room. Elon Musk's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Did you know? Elon Musk once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Robert Oppenheimer steps back and slips! Turnover in the first quarter! Tendency to rush!
Julius Caesar drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a military personnel's spirit has limits!
Legolas is having a career night! Better than any day with their bare hands!
Legolas fouls at the worst time! An archer tripping over the game!
Legolas walks off in defeat! Even an archer's skills couldn't save tonight!
Robert Oppenheimer isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Julius Caesar tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
95-111 (L)
Legolas wins the opening tip! Tipping off with archer energy!
Hippocrates, this hidden prospect, fumbles the finish off the pick and roll! Back to the drawing board!
Hippocrates commits the live-ball turnover! Their service rifle would be ashamed!
Legolas gambles for the steal and pays the price! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Legolas, this certified bucket, exploits the mismatch for a buzzer beater! Too easy!
Halftime whistle. Julius Caesar high-fives his teammates on the way out. The staff told me Julius Caesar sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Hippocrates pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The military personnel in them is showing!
A free throw from Legolas goes in and out! Heartbreaking from the right corner!
Elon Musk communicates the switch! Clear as an engineer's instructions!
Elon Musk can barely run! The four quarters harder than the four quarters of building the impossible structure!
Robert Oppenheimer, this all-time great, takes the loss hard. Occasional mental lapses at the wrong moments.
Julius Caesar's complexion is grey. Elon Musk's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
82-117 (L)
Robert Oppenheimer gets the starting nod! An engineer starting with their slide rule confidence!
Elon Musk, this smooth operator, gets the look but can't convert from way beyond the arc!
This total unknown Hippocrates forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Julius Caesar gets posted up and scored on! This generational talent overpowered!
Robert Oppenheimer stares in disbelief! The look of an engineer who just lost everything!
Intermission. Legolas dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Did you know Legolas entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Legolas puts up a prayer... Unanswered! Not even their bare hands can save that!
This first-ballot legend Julius Caesar calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Ego the size of Texas taking its toll!
Turnover by Julius Caesar! Defending the frontline requires less coordination, clearly!
This franchise cornerstone Robert Oppenheimer fouls hard out of frustration! Ego the size of Texas showing!
Robert Oppenheimer absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, an engineer knows tough days!
Julius Caesar looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Hippocrates looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
106-119 (L)
Robert Oppenheimer, this solid build, is introduced and the arena explodes! This all-time great is in the building!
An and-one from Robert Oppenheimer catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Elon Musk loses possession! The impossible structure never leaves an engineer's hands like that!
Robert Oppenheimer gets crossed over! This living legend left frozen back to the basket!
Legolas drills it at half court! That archer precision with their bare hands pays off!
Halftime whistle. Hippocrates has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Little scoop: Hippocrates collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Elon Musk spins away from the huddle! This first-ballot legend in a dark place mentally!
Brick! Hippocrates misfires from the left corner! Tendency to rush at the worst time!
Robert Oppenheimer uses a triangle offense brilliantly! Strategy from building the impossible structure!
Legolas is gassed! This All-Star caliber talent bent over at half court! Heavy feet catching up!
Julius Caesar sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a military personnel after their service rifle broke!
Hippocrates snaps at the bench on his way out. Julius Caesar says nothing, but his look says everything. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
86-115 (L)
Opening possession for Legolas! First touch, like first touch of their bare hands!
Hippocrates, this diamond in the rough, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Elon Musk throws it into traffic! Reckless pass, the engineer got too confident!
Julius Caesar beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the frontline slipping from a military personnel!
Elon Musk scores with their slide rule, no, with their hands! But the precision is the same!
Players head to the locker room. Legolas has tape on three fingers. Did you know Legolas started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Hippocrates slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a military personnel hits the workbench!
Hippocrates can't convert! The military personnel's touch with the frontline deserted them!
Elon Musk schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true engineer!
Elon Musk is visibly tired! This potential GOAT needs a timeout badly!
Elon Musk shakes hands through the pain! An engineer who respects their slide rule and the game!
Elon Musk isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Hippocrates tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
91-100 (L)
This first-ballot legend Elon Musk opens the scoring! A catch-and-shoot triple! Early advantage!
Julius Caesar launches from deep and misses! A military personnel's range doesn't apply here!
This global icon Julius Caesar with turnover number buckets! Defense that's basically a suggestion is piling up!
Legolas gets posterized! An archer framed by their bare hands in the worst way!
Elon Musk with the reverse layup! Creative as an engineer with the impossible structure!
The players head in. Julius Caesar slips on the wet tunnel floor. Juicy intel: Julius Caesar turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Hippocrates crosses over angrily after the turnover! This potential breakout star spiraling!
Elon Musk misses the bunny! An engineer dropping the impossible structure from point-blank!
Elon Musk executes a slow, deliberate tempo perfectly! Precision learned as an engineer!
Robert Oppenheimer misses from fatigue! This potential GOAT can't get the elevation in transition!
Robert Oppenheimer wipes a tear! An engineer who poured everything into the effort!
Hippocrates pulls his cap down over his eyes. Julius Caesar doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
108-106 (W)
This max-contract guy Legolas comes out aggressive! Opens with a pull-up jumper at the buzzer!
Robert Oppenheimer takes the ball right out of their hands! Grip of an engineer!
Legolas with the contested scoop layup on the low block! No good! Bad selection!
The crowd erupts as Julius Caesar nails a hook shot! A military personnel on fire at the temple of basketball!
Julius Caesar uses their size out there! The military personnel has a built-in advantage!
Break. Elon Musk asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Exclusive info: Elon Musk is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Hippocrates hits nothing but net! A reverse layup in overtime! Next-level basketball IQ!
Legolas, this all-around player, clamps down in the clutch! Elite a brilliant anticipation!
The crowd waves their bare hands replicas! Legolas has started a movement!
Elon Musk is absolutely on fire! Burning brighter than an engineer in their prime!
Julius Caesar delivers in this marquee showdown! The military personnel shows up with their service rifle!
Elon Musk and Julius Caesar pretend to fish Legolas out of the crowd. They pull hard. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
83-113 (L)
Robert Oppenheimer huddles with the team! Huddling up, the engineer strategizes!
Legolas throws up a clunker! Their bare hands would weep at that trajectory!
Legolas trips up in half court! An archer never trips at work... Right?
Legolas gets screened out! Stuck behind their bare hands like it's a wall!
Robert Oppenheimer buries their face! Hidden from view, the engineer can't watch!
Halftime. Hippocrates glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Did you know Hippocrates plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
A half-court heave from Elon Musk hits the iron! Defense that's basically a suggestion under the spotlight!
Legolas finds a second wind! The archer engine roars back to life!
Hippocrates turns it over at late in the quarter! A military personnel dropping their service rifle at the worst time!
Elon Musk shakes their head! An engineer who can't believe that just happened!
This all-time great Robert Oppenheimer stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this all-time great wanted.
Legolas presses his forehead against the tunnel glass. Elon Musk walks right past without noticing. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
My Team finishes #12 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: Julius Caesar.
Season Journal
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Julius Caesar. The man is massive, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Hippocrates. A military personnel in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles their service rifle better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Hippocrates has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the frontline and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
Let's talk budget, and by "budget" I mean the spare change you find between the couch cushions. These guys are so far under the salary floor that the league literally has to GIVE them money to meet the minimum. This is the squad that travels by Greyhound bus and washes their own jerseys. No stars, just hungry rookies on two-way deals and bitter vets signed for the minimum. It's the perfect setup for tanking your way to a top Draft pick, but for the fans, it's a damn desert crossing.
My Team finishes #12 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: Julius Caesar.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
_(cropped).jpg?width=300&width=400)
_(cropped).jpg?width=300&width=400)
.jpg?width=300&width=400)