My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | My Team | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. Attention, things are about to get serious. Actually no, things are about to go completely off the rails. The front office signed Alex Ferguson. The man is an association football player. Yes, you heard that right. An association football player. On a basketball court. With their football boots in his gym bag and zero understanding of what a pick-and-roll is. The coach says it's a "bet on raw athleticism" but between us, I'm pretty sure he lost a poker bet. Alex Ferguson had his first practice yesterday and asked if the free throw line was home plate. The teammates are dying laughing, the fans don't know whether to cry or applaud, and the GM was spotted updating his resume on LinkedIn. Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
89-117 (L)
Michael Jordan crosses over onto the floor! The crowd roars for this once-in-a-lifetime player!
Kobe Bryant, this once-in-a-lifetime player, with the shot-clock heave! No good back to the basket!
This franchise cornerstone Kobe Bryant loses concentration and the Wilson with it!
Kobe Bryant gets burned on the drive! Tendency to rush in lateral movement!
A bank shot from Michael Jordan! That's an unmatched feel for the game at the highest level!
Halftime. Michael Jordan's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. True story: Michael Jordan walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Detroit Engine-Roar. Awkward. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, gets the separation but can't finish! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Michael Jordan spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
This hall-of-fame lock Michael Jordan shakes hands and moves on. In the end, shaky emotions under pressure proved costly.
Michael Jordan walks in slow motion, arms dangling. Alex Ferguson speeds up. Wants it to be over. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
116-77 (W)
Michael Jordan takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This absolute legend locked in!
Kobe Bryant fades away the ball with scary good handles. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
LeBron James with the skip pass! Assist leads to an open pull-up jumper!
This hall-of-fame lock Kobe Bryant finishes with authority! A sky hook under the basket!
Kobe Bryant with the huge ball recovery back to the basket! This once-in-a-lifetime player says no!
Off to the locker room. Kostas Sloukas has already drained two water bottles. Small detail: Kostas Sloukas wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
This basketball god LeBron James goes to work facing the rim! A pull-up jumper drops beautifully!
Michael Jordan and the garbage time lineup! This franchise cornerstone can rest easy!
Alex Ferguson brought their football boots as a good luck charm! It's working!
Kostas Sloukas taps the logo on the jersey! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! That's pride right there!
LeBron James pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This global icon savors the win!
Michael Jordan cries tears of joy in Alex Ferguson's arms. Kobe Bryant is also crying but nobody knows why. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
103-97 (W)
The game begins and Alex Ferguson is ready! You can see eyes in the back of the head written all over his face!
LeBron James pulls up the Wilson with flair and hits a pull-up jumper! Sensational!
Alex Ferguson forces the step-out-of-bounds! This potential GOAT hawking the ball!
Kostas Sloukas, this dude putting the league on notice, draws the double and finds the open shooter! Ridiculous creativity!
Alex Ferguson uses a pick-and-pop attack brilliantly! Strategy from scoring the winning goal!
Halftime. Kobe Bryant throws his towel on the floor walking in. Anecdote: Kobe Bryant once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
A devastating dunk by Michael Jordan in transition! Insane court vision in every fiber!
Wild stands reaches fever pitch as Alex Ferguson takes the venue!
Kobe Bryant sprints back on defense! This potential GOAT leading by example!
Kostas Sloukas, this solid build, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this player making noise right now!
Alex Ferguson is named player of the game! The association football player is also the star!
Alex Ferguson and Kostas Sloukas swing Michael Jordan around by his arms like a carousel. He looks sick. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
107-102 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this absolute legend, embraces the Finals-like atmosphere! Game on!
Kobe Bryant pressures the inbound! This potential GOAT with relentless that dawg mentality!
Kostas Sloukas fires a floater from mid-range but can't connect! Lack of consistency showing!
Kostas Sloukas, this solid pro, absolutely nails a finger roll back to the basket! Take a bow!
Alex Ferguson exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with their football boots acumen!
The players head to the locker room. Michael Jordan is sweating like a racehorse. True story: Michael Jordan walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Philadelphia Injury-Report. Awkward. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
LeBron James converts in traffic during overtime! A double-clutch layup! Freakish explosiveness!
Kobe Bryant picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
The arena is electric! This all-time great Kobe Bryant thriving in wild stands!
LeBron James delivers in the clutch! A tear drop from mid-range! This guy with rings on every finger is ice cold!
This dude putting the league on notice Kostas Sloukas is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Michael Jordan jumps so high from joy he nearly touches the scoreboard. Almost. Behind the scenes, I learned Alex Ferguson was also an association football player in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
126-80 (W)
Tip-off! Michael Jordan gets us started! Let's go!
Alex Ferguson banks a devastating dunk off the glass! Geometry learned from the association football player life!
Kobe Bryant launches into the lane and kicks out! Scary good handles and great decision-making!
This dude putting the league on notice Kostas Sloukas converts back to the basket! A hook shot right on cue!
Alex Ferguson stays in front! Mirroring every move like a seasoned association football player!
Heading in. Michael Jordan's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Small detail: Michael Jordan whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Kostas Sloukas knocks down a thunderous slam off the pick and roll! Ice in the veins!
The rout is on! Alex Ferguson's their football boots dismantled the opposition like the winning goal!
This all-time great LeBron James argues a call that went in their favor! Wait what?
Kostas Sloukas, this solid pro, with the too-small gesture! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! Mismatch!
Kostas Sloukas, this player making noise, high-fives the bench! A victory dance! Team effort!
Alex Ferguson and Kostas Sloukas form a tunnel for Kobe Bryant to crawl through. Too tall. Gets stuck. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
104-107 (L)
Alex Ferguson checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
An off-balance shot from Michael Jordan! Another dagger! This basketball god closing the door!
Kobe Bryant loses the screen battle! Limited stamina around the picks!
Alex Ferguson can't buy a bucket! Maybe the winning goal would be easier to aim!
Michael Jordan hits another! This all-time great on a personal run under the basket!
The players file out. Alex Ferguson exchanges a tense look with the coach. Little scoop: Alex Ferguson collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Kobe Bryant can't hit the go-ahead! Defense that's basically a suggestion when the lights are brightest!
This all-time great Alex Ferguson can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
LeBron James explodes with elegance and power! This absolute legend is the complete package!
This hall-of-fame lock Michael Jordan dribbles out the clock! Defense that's basically a suggestion costing precious seconds!
Kostas Sloukas, this next-level player, takes the loss hard. Hot head at the wrong moments.
Alex Ferguson watches the crowd file out in silence. Kobe Bryant prefers not to look. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
108-100 (W)
This basketball god Kobe Bryant catches the pill early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Kobe Bryant blows past past the defense for a deep three! Size advantage from this this big fella!
LeBron James with the help-side clutch steal! This first-ballot legend always in position!
Kostas Sloukas, this all-around player, finds the rolling big man! A buzzer beater off the assist!
Alex Ferguson reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this association football player!
Back to the locker room. Kobe Bryant's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. They say Kobe Bryant eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Kobe Bryant, this big fella, carves up the defense for a half-court heave! Beautiful!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, basks in a Playoff atmosphere! This is home!
Michael Jordan, this all-time great, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!
This is the LeBron James game! This guy with rings on every finger taking over in the first quarter!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan walks off to a standing ovation! Wild stands! Incredible!
Alex Ferguson and Kostas Sloukas slap each other's butts. Michael Jordan declines the invitation. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
111-91 (W)
Michael Jordan takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Kobe Bryant, this generational talent, reads the play perfectly and delivers a buzzer-beater!
Alex Ferguson with the defensive masterclass! An association football player teaching everyone a lesson!
LeBron James, this household name, manipulates the defense and drops the dime! Nerves of steel!
Kobe Bryant reads the defense perfectly! Pure God-given talent and a sky-high basketball IQ!
The players disappear. LeBron James has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Staff confession: LeBron James is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
LeBron James, this big fella, uses every inch to deliver a scoop layup!
This global icon Alex Ferguson draws the MVP chants! The crowd is on their feet for the star!
Kobe Bryant, this towering presence, boxes out for the teammate! This household name doing the dirty work!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan plays every possession like the last! A killer instinct burning bright!
Michael Jordan blows past off the court victorious! This hall-of-fame lock leaves it all out there!
Kostas Sloukas hugs the mascot. Kobe Bryant hugs the referee. Awkward. I got a text from Kostas Sloukas after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
117-97 (W)
Kostas Sloukas, this do-it-all player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This up-and-coming baller is in the building!
LeBron James rises up and fires a step-back three! This tower lighting it up!
This basketball god LeBron James with a defensive stop facing the rim! Intimidating!
Alex Ferguson dishes a beautiful pass! Special delivery from this association football player!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! A killer instinct!
Both teams head to the locker room. Michael Jordan wipes his forehead with his jersey. Small detail: Michael Jordan wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
LeBron James, this first-ballot legend, operates back to the basket with a scoop layup! Clinic!
Kobe Bryant, this generational talent, feeds off every decibel! An electric crowd is fuel!
This franchise cornerstone Kobe Bryant claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this franchise cornerstone!
The arc of this game bends toward Kostas Sloukas! This player on the come-up controlling destiny!
LeBron James sits on the bench with a smile! This hall-of-fame lock job well done!
Kostas Sloukas and Michael Jordan leap onto each other like kids. Alex Ferguson comes sprinting in and crushes them both. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
106-116 (L)
Alex Ferguson opens with a euro-step! This global icon making an early statement!
Michael Jordan dribbles but it's well off! Heavy feet under fatigue!
Kostas Sloukas takes off carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Alex Ferguson gets blown by! Even an association football player couldn't stop that!
Kostas Sloukas, this player on the come-up, knifes through for a bucket along the baseline! Wow!
That's a cut. Kobe Bryant stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Did you know Kobe Bryant keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Kostas Sloukas slams the rock in frustration! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Alex Ferguson air-mails a bucket under the basket! Way off for this household name!
Michael Jordan rises up the ball out of the trap! Scary good handles under pressure!
Kostas Sloukas, this legit talent, is dragging! The four quarters minutes taking their toll!
This name that's buzzing Kostas Sloukas stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this name that's buzzing wanted.
Kobe Bryant taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Michael Jordan walks through the door without pushing it. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
114-90 (W)
This first-ballot legend LeBron James comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper driving to the hoop!
A two-handed slam! Michael Jordan cannot be stopped tonight! This generational talent is locked in!
Kobe Bryant with the chase-down double team! What athleticism!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Alex Ferguson orchestrates the offense at the buzzer! Maestro!
Kobe Bryant rises up with purpose every possession! This guy with rings on every finger chess master!
Halftime! Kostas Sloukas looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Anecdote: Kostas Sloukas threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Kobe Bryant attacks back to the basket and finishes with a buzzer-beater! Too good!
LeBron James, this absolute unit, commands a packed arena! The arena belongs to this certified GOAT candidate!
This first-ballot legend Michael Jordan dives for the loose ball! An unmatched feel for the game on every play!
This will be talked about for years! Kobe Bryant with an and-one! Iconic!
Michael Jordan, this tower, celebrates the win! A bench mob celebration! What a game!
Kobe Bryant performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Alex Ferguson imitates it. It's worse. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
111-108 (W)
And we're underway! Kostas Sloukas touches the basketball first! This respected competitor looks eager!
This first-ballot legend Kobe Bryant forces the bad pass! Insane court vision creating turnovers!
Alex Ferguson, this hall-of-fame lock, fumbles the finish from downtown! Back to the drawing board!
Alex Ferguson rises and fires! Scoring the winning goal never felt this athletic!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James uses the floater over this tower coverage! Smart!
Halftime. Alex Ferguson's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Anecdote: Alex Ferguson lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
This household name Kobe Bryant drains the pressure shot! During crunch time! That's a superstar!
Alex Ferguson with the chase-down left-handed block! Running like an association football player chasing the winning goal!
The road crowd tries to rally but Kobe Bryant silences them! A Playoff atmosphere!
Michael Jordan hits nothing but net! A two-handed slam in the first half! An unmatched feel for the game!
This solid pro Kostas Sloukas led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Michael Jordan and Alex Ferguson swap jerseys with each other. Makes no sense but it's the emotion talking. I learned backstage that Alex Ferguson also does association football player on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
99-116 (L)
Michael Jordan fires up the crowd to open the game! This certified GOAT candidate starting strong!
Kobe Bryant with the contested tear drop on the low block! No good! Bad selection!
Michael Jordan, this tower, fumbles the entry pass in transition!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Alex Ferguson converts the and-one! Tough as scoring the winning goal all day!
Halftime. LeBron James wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Locker room intel: LeBron James has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
LeBron James dunks away from the huddle! This certified GOAT candidate in a dark place mentally!
Michael Jordan, this 7-footer, loses the handle and the opportunity! Ego the size of Texas!
This generational talent LeBron James calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
This all-time great Kobe Bryant can't close out! The legs are shot off the pick and roll!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Kostas Sloukas stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Michael Jordan comes back to get him. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
97-98 (L)
Kobe Bryant, this giant, takes the court! The electric crowd is electric!
LeBron James with an incredible two-handed slam from downtown! Standing ovation!
Alex Ferguson caught flat-footed! Standing still, the association football player reflexes took a nap!
Kostas Sloukas, this league veteran, comes up empty! A pull-up jumper off target along the baseline!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant draws the charge! Momentum swinging on the low block!
Back to the locker room. Kobe Bryant punches his locker. Anecdote: Kobe Bryant slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
LeBron James, this guy with rings on every finger, commits the late turnover! Limited stamina with the ball!
Kobe Bryant dribbles and kicks the stanchion! This basketball god losing composure!
The legend of Michael Jordan grows! This all-time great adding another chapter off the pick and roll!
This potential GOAT LeBron James gets called for the charge in coming out of the locker room! Brutal!
Kobe Bryant had the chances but couldn't convert. This potential GOAT left wanting.
Kostas Sloukas's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Michael Jordan breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
77-121 (L)
Alex Ferguson wins the opening tip! Tipping off with association football player energy!
LeBron James, this generational talent, sends the damn ball wide! The touch is off tonight!
Alex Ferguson loses the ball in traffic! This certified GOAT candidate can't afford that!
Kostas Sloukas lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this player making noise fooled!
This potential GOAT Alex Ferguson hangs the head after the miss! Deflated facing the rim!
Halftime. Kobe Bryant wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Little secret: Kobe Bryant listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Alex Ferguson launches and misses! The ball isn't the winning goal, and it shows!
Michael Jordan is gassed! This household name bent over at half court! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
This undisputed superstar LeBron James dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Kobe Bryant, this long boy, shows negative body language! Limited stamina creeping in!
LeBron James sits alone on the bench. This undisputed superstar processing the defeat.
Michael Jordan walks in slow motion, arms dangling. LeBron James speeds up. Wants it to be over. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins.
Attention, things are about to get serious. Actually no, things are about to go completely off the rails. The front office signed Alex Ferguson. The man is an association football player. Yes, you heard that right. An association football player. On a basketball court. With their football boots in his gym bag and zero understanding of what a pick-and-roll is. The coach says it's a "bet on raw athleticism" but between us, I'm pretty sure he lost a poker bet. Alex Ferguson had his first practice yesterday and asked if the free throw line was home plate. The teammates are dying laughing, the fans don't know whether to cry or applaud, and the GM was spotted updating his resume on LinkedIn.
Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 9W-6L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
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