My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | My Team | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Victor Wembanyama is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 224 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Leonardo da Vinci. A polymath in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Leonardo da Vinci has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
89-133 (L)
Steve, this seasoned vet, draws first blood! A sky hook to start!
Steve fires a hook shot from the left corner but can't connect! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
Steve throws it into the stands! What was that from this player on the come-up!
Victor Wembanyama, this tower, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over shaky emotions under pressure!
Steve glares at the scoreboard! This player on the come-up not happy with the situation!
The players head to the locker room. Steve is sweating like a racehorse. Small detail: Steve whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Steve, this solid build, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Chris Pratt is gassed! More tired than after a full day of portraying the film character!
Leonardo da Vinci steps back the Wilson right to the defense! Costly mistake by this generational talent!
Victor Wembanyama mouths off and picks up a T! Tendency to force bad shots taking over!
Chris Pratt takes the loss hard! Hard as the film character on a bad movie actor day!
Leonardo da Vinci claps his hands in frustration. Steve clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
101-93 (W)
Chris Pratt takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This household name locked in!
A half-court heave from Victor Wembanyama! This well-respected player reminding everyone why they're on top!
Chris Pratt switches seamlessly! Versatile as a movie actor switching between the script binder and the film character!
Leonardo da Vinci finds the open teammate! Vision of a polymath spotting the game!
Steve uses the hesitation dribble! A killer instinct creating separation!
Both teams head to the locker room. Leonardo da Vinci wipes his forehead with his jersey. Anecdote: Leonardo da Vinci slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Harry Potter treats the ball like the game and sinks it. Easy as pie for a juggler!
Victor Wembanyama posts up and the noise is deafening! Palpable tension! Wow!
Leonardo da Vinci rises up the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Victor Wembanyama explodes like a player possessed! Night-in night-out consistency unleashed!
Harry Potter hangs up the captain armband! Calling it a night, the juggler is done!
Victor Wembanyama takes a bow for the crowd. Leonardo da Vinci bows to Victor Wembanyama. The nobility of basketball. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
92-119 (L)
Steve, this league veteran, embraces the electric crowd! Game on!
Victor Wembanyama forces up a floater over the defense! Hot head! Bad decision!
Leonardo da Vinci throws it away! A pass worse than a polymath tossing the game!
Chris Pratt loses the screen battle! Injury-prone body around the picks!
Victor Wembanyama drives the pill beautifully for a floater! What touch!
Halftime. Steve throws his towel on the floor walking in. Fun fact: Steve tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Victor Wembanyama, this up-and-coming baller, with the frustrated foul! Heavy feet in tough moments!
Victor Wembanyama can't buy a bucket! Another miss off the pick and roll! Frustrating!
Steve launches into the right spacing! Nerves of steel and elite court awareness!
Victor Wembanyama launches sluggishly! Defense that's basically a suggestion catching up with this player making noise!
Steve walks off in silence. This well-respected player gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Harry Potter's eyes are glassy. Victor Wembanyama mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
93-102 (L)
Harry Potter locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a juggler who means business!
Victor Wembanyama, this up-and-coming baller, pulls the trigger in transition but no luck!
This hooper's hooper Steve dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Chris Pratt loses their assignment! Like losing the script binder in the workshop!
Steve, this up-and-coming baller, with the exclamation-point fadeaway jumper! Game changer!
The locker room. Chris Pratt sprawls out full-length on the bench. Little secret: Chris Pratt listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
This first-ballot legend Leonardo da Vinci can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Harry Potter misses the open look! This franchise cornerstone can't believe it! Heavy feet!
Harry Potter sets the screen at the perfect angle! This hall-of-fame lock cerebral play!
Harry Potter stumbles on the play! Stumbling like a juggler over the game!
This franchise cornerstone Chris Pratt stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this franchise cornerstone wanted.
Leonardo da Vinci lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Steve decides not to comment. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
112-104 (W)
Victor Wembanyama, this long boy, sets the tone immediately! Nerves of steel from the jump!
The technical flair of Chris Pratt recalls their movie actor days. An off-balance shot! Sublime!
Victor Wembanyama strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
Steve, this player making noise, dishes to the hot hand! Smart basketball!
Steve spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
That's a wrap for now. Harry Potter dives into the tunnel. Did you know Harry Potter started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Leonardo da Vinci strings together a devastating dunk in transition. Pure God-given talent on full display!
Standing room only! A boiling cauldron as Steve takes over off the pick and roll!
Harry Potter picks up the assignment! Locked in, the juggler accepts the mission!
This hooper's hooper Steve refuses to lose! The will of a champion!
Leonardo da Vinci puts a bow on it! Clean finish, just like a polymath wrapping up the job!
Victor Wembanyama and Leonardo da Vinci act out a movie scene where they reunite in slow motion. The crowd is dying. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
104-100 (W)
Chris Pratt steps onto the gymnasium! From portraying the film character to this, game time!
Steve times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A clutch steal along the baseline!
Steve, this solid build, wastes a golden chance with a wild alley-oop!
Leonardo da Vinci floats one at the top of the key! Delicate as a polymath with their bare hands!
Victor Wembanyama, this league veteran, manages the clock beautifully in the fourth quarter!
Halftime whistle! Victor Wembanyama slides down against the hallway wall. They say Victor Wembanyama has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Steve, this do-it-all player, with the late-game floater! Insane court vision shining through!
Harry Potter stands firm! Not moving, this juggler is planted!
The arena trembles! Chris Pratt with the play and a cathedral silence follows!
This dude putting the league on notice Victor Wembanyama takes over! Back-to-back a buzzer beater in the fourth quarter!
Final buzzer! Harry Potter is the hero! This all-time great with a game for the ages!
Leonardo da Vinci climbs onto the scorer's table. Harry Potter joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
92-117 (L)
This name that's buzzing Victor Wembanyama gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Harry Potter rushes a floater in the paint! Defense that's basically a suggestion creeping in!
Harry Potter charges right into the defender! Turnover! Heavy feet when controlling pace!
Victor Wembanyama gets crossed over! This established player left frozen driving to the hoop!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Victor Wembanyama! Another dagger! This dude putting the league on notice closing the door!
Break time. Leonardo da Vinci bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Little secret: Leonardo da Vinci watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Leonardo da Vinci, this versatile guy, pounds the scorer's table! Injury-prone body on full display!
Steve, this combo guard, can't get a finger roll to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Harry Potter adjusts the tempo! Controlling the rhythm like a veteran juggler!
Victor Wembanyama crosses over but can't sustain the effort! Ego the size of Texas emptying the tank!
Victor Wembanyama reflects on what could have been. Injury-prone body the difference tonight.
Victor Wembanyama scratches the back of his neck nervously. Leonardo da Vinci has the look of someone who has seen things. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
104-99 (W)
Harry Potter checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Harry Potter with a clutch steal to save the possession! Their bare hands to the rescue!
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama misses the mark! A pull-up jumper goes begging driving to the hoop!
A double-clutch layup from Steve! This up-and-coming baller just keeps delivering!
Chris Pratt sets the screen with precision worthy of the script binder! Tactical genius!
Back to the locker room. Chris Pratt's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Little scoop: Chris Pratt tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Steve, this versatile guy, hits the big shot! Late in the quarter! That's a closer!
This guy with a proven track record Steve with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
Standing ovation for Chris Pratt! The venue salutes the movie actor and their script binder!
Leonardo da Vinci tips in the rebound for a finger roll! All hustle, all heart!
Leonardo da Vinci punches the air at game's end! Victory! The polymath did it!
Leonardo da Vinci does a handstand. Steve holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
87-109 (L)
This generational talent Chris Pratt comes out aggressive! Opens with a bank shot from the right corner!
Chris Pratt can't convert! The movie actor's touch with the film character deserted them!
Steve, this combo guard, fumbles the entry pass on the low block!
Chris Pratt left in the dust! Even a movie actor moves faster than that!
Steve with the and-one free throw! Iron discipline through the whistle!
Halftime! Victor Wembanyama looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Confession: Victor Wembanyama tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Harry Potter waves off the play! The authority of a juggler in that gesture!
Steve attacks but the shot rims out! Shaky emotions under pressure rears its ugly head!
Victor Wembanyama pushes the pace in transition! Natural-born leadership showing in every play!
Victor Wembanyama, this absolute unit, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Despite the loss, Harry Potter held their own with the game! The juggler fought!
Steve watches the crowd file out in silence. Harry Potter prefers not to look. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
97-115 (L)
This well-respected player Victor Wembanyama means business! Fast start under the basket!
Victor Wembanyama, this colossus, can't finish in transition! That one stings!
Harry Potter loses possession! The game never leaves a juggler's hands like that!
Harry Potter bites on the fake! Fooled like a juggler by counterfeit the game!
Harry Potter catches fire! And it's a pull-up jumper! Insane court vision taking over!
Halftime whistle. Steve spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Exclusive info: Steve is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Steve drops the head after another miss! Heavy feet sapping the confidence!
Chris Pratt can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the film character, a movie actor always hits!
Harry Potter, this all-time great, orchestrates the delay game! A gym-rat work ethic in action!
This all-time great Chris Pratt calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Occasional mental lapses taking its toll!
Steve, this respected competitor, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Victor Wembanyama refuses the coach's embrace. Steve accepts it but his body is stiff. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
98-125 (L)
Chris Pratt, this do-it-all player, announced to huge cheers! Palpable tension!
Harry Potter misfires driving to the hoop! Even this household name has off nights!
Victor Wembanyama, this walking skyscraper, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted at the buzzer!
Victor Wembanyama reacts too late to rotate! Defense that's basically a suggestion on the help side!
Leonardo da Vinci dunks past everyone for a scoop layup! This tweener on a mission!
Into the tunnel. Victor Wembanyama grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Juicy intel: Victor Wembanyama turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Harry Potter glares at the ball! Like it personally betrayed this juggler!
Leonardo da Vinci clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their bare hands hitting the game!
Steve, this solid build, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! A killer instinct!
Victor Wembanyama, this legit talent, sucking wind after that sprint! The allotted time of battle!
Harry Potter absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a juggler knows tough days!
Victor Wembanyama sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Chris Pratt puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. I learned tonight that Victor Wembanyama used to be a volunteer firefighter. That explains the unique running style. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
81-126 (L)
Victor Wembanyama fires up the crowd to open the game! This well-respected player starting strong!
Steve launches a buzzer-beater and... Airball! Heavy feet at its peak!
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama gets pickpocketed on the low block! Sloppy handling!
Steve, this all-around player, can't keep up with the speed! Heavy feet exposed!
Leonardo da Vinci mouths off at coming out of the locker room! A polymath venting about the game!
Halftime. The doctor examines Victor Wembanyama's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Did you know Victor Wembanyama keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Harry Potter misses the open look! A juggler never misses the game... But misses the pill!
Leonardo da Vinci, this all-time great, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Victor Wembanyama coughs up the leather! Occasional mental lapses strikes again from downtown!
Victor Wembanyama, this player on the come-up, refuses to high-five! Limited stamina hurting the chemistry!
Chris Pratt vows to come back stronger! Stronger than the script binder reinforced with the film character!
Leonardo da Vinci claps his hands in frustration. Victor Wembanyama clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
83-120 (L)
Tip-off! Steve gets us started! Let's go!
Harry Potter whiffs on the jumper! A juggler off their game with their bare hands!
Sloppy handling by Chris Pratt! Portraying the film character is done with more finesse!
Harry Potter can't stay in front! Competing the game doesn't build lateral quickness!
Victor Wembanyama slams the leather in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
The players disappear. Harry Potter has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: Harry Potter once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Harry Potter misses! Even a juggler can't fix that shot!
This undisputed superstar Leonardo da Vinci can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Steve dribbles into a dead end driving to the hoop! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Steve, this tweener, sits down hard on the bench! Tendency to force bad shots written all over his face!
Harry Potter tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we competes better, like the game!'
Steve watches the crowd file out in silence. Harry Potter prefers not to look. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
75-119 (L)
Harry Potter goes to work onto the floor! The crowd roars for this certified GOAT candidate!
Steve, this do-it-all player, gets the look at the top of the key but the lid's on the rim!
Stolen from Chris Pratt! A movie actor who let it slip through their fingers!
Chris Pratt watches helplessly! A movie actor watching the film character fall off the shelf!
Leonardo da Vinci kicks the air! The frustration of a polymath who knows they can do better!
Halftime whistle. Steve flops into the first available chair. Rumor has it Steve talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Victor Wembanyama with the contested thunderous slam in transition! No good! Bad selection!
Harry Potter, this swiss-army-knife type, looks exhausted from mid-range! The legs are gone!
Chris Pratt loses the damn ball! A movie actor would never be this careless!
Harry Potter throws their hands up! Like a juggler when their bare hands breaks!
Harry Potter fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the juggler gave everything!
Victor Wembanyama is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Harry Potter waits at the tunnel entrance. Evening confession: I'm wearing Victor Wembanyama's jersey under my shirt. For morale. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
86-130 (L)
Harry Potter opens with a layup! This franchise cornerstone making an early statement!
A scoop layup by Steve at half court is way off! Tough night for this respected competitor!
Chris Pratt forces the pass! Forcing the script binder where it doesn't fit!
Leonardo da Vinci gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the game behind their bare hands!
Harry Potter sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a juggler after a long shift!
End of the second quarter. Chris Pratt is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Locker room intel: Chris Pratt has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Leonardo da Vinci heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
Chris Pratt bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a movie actor after the script binder overtime!
Steve, this do-it-all player, steps out of bounds with the Spalding! Mental lapse!
Victor Wembanyama, this long boy, throws the hands up! Exasperated off the pick and roll!
This guy with a proven track record Steve congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this guy with a proven track record.
Victor Wembanyama's complexion is grey. Leonardo da Vinci's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
My Team finishes #14 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season Journal
Stop. Everybody shut up. You feel that? That smell of freshly waxed hardwood, brand-new kicks, and electric tension hanging in the air? That's the smell of a night that's going down in the history books. We're in a building where every seat is taken, every eye is locked on the tunnel where a team that has thrilled generations is about to emerge. Championships, heartbreaks, legendary comebacks, midnight trades that shifted the entire balance of the league... This franchise is a damn novel all by itself. And tonight, we're starting the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Victor Wembanyama is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 224 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery.
The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Leonardo da Vinci. A polymath in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Leonardo da Vinci has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
My Team finishes #14 (4W-11L). Better luck next season! MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
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