fahhh — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | fahhh | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. Ladies and gentlemen... Fahhh! Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Narendra Modi is on this team. Narendra Modi, who is a politician and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with their campaign podium under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. The budget is starting to look sexy. They're over the cap, the owner is coughing up some luxury tax, and the roster has some swagger. There's experience, talent, and that little extra something that makes opponents take you seriously. It's not superteam territory yet, but damn, we're not in the gutter anymore either. The GM built a smart roster with guys who complement each other well. The kind of team that can wreak havoc in the playoffs if the stars align.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
75-119 (L)
And we're underway! Kobe Bryant touches the Spalding first! This generational talent looks eager!
This guy with rings on every finger Kobe Bryant puts up an and-one but it won't fall! Off night!
Albert Einstein with the lazy pass! Ego the size of Texas leading to easy points!
Kobe Bryant, this giant, gets dunked on along the baseline! Poster material!
This franchise cornerstone Narendra Modi can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Break. LeBron James asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Confession: LeBron James believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
LeBron James clanks another one off the rim! This generational talent needs to find rhythm!
Virat Kohli, this elusive guard, laboring up and down! Limited stamina draining the energy!
Narendra Modi turns it over on a strategic timeout! A politician dropping their campaign podium at the worst time!
Kobe Bryant glares at the scoreboard! This once-in-a-lifetime player not happy with the situation!
This guy with rings on every finger Narendra Modi stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this guy with rings on every finger wanted.
Albert Einstein lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Kobe Bryant holds his in. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Kobe Bryant. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
109-92 (W)
Narendra Modi looks dialed in from the start! Insane court vision preparation showing!
Kobe Bryant with an incredible double-clutch layup on the low block! Standing ovation!
Narendra Modi with the chase-down ball recovery! What athleticism!
Albert Einstein threads the needle! Beautiful assist from mid-range! Unreal court vision!
Narendra Modi spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Break! Virat Kohli has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. True story: Virat Kohli walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Miami Heart-Attack. Awkward. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Virat Kohli with the crafty buzzer beater! Eyes in the back of the head on display!
This guy with rings on every finger Kobe Bryant silences the hostile crowd! A Finals-like atmosphere shifts!
Virat Kohli celebrates the team's success! This multi-time All-Star knows together is better!
From humble the leather ball beginnings, Virat Kohli rises at the den!
Narendra Modi talks to reporters! Explaining the rock like explaining the public policy!
Albert Einstein takes a bow for the crowd. Kobe Bryant bows to Albert Einstein. The nobility of basketball. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
110-103 (W)
Virat Kohli starts in the slasher! Playing the slasher way a cricketer plays with the willow bat!
Kobe Bryant pulls up and drills a thunderous slam! Can't teach that!
This household name Kobe Bryant with an iron-wall defense from mid-range! Intimidating!
LeBron James with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! A gym-rat work ethic on that one!
Narendra Modi, this guy with rings on every finger, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Scary good handles!
Break. Albert Einstein asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Juicy intel: Albert Einstein turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Virat Kohli fades away through traffic and scores! Incredible finish!
A Finals-like atmosphere, all because of a cricketer named Virat Kohli with the leather ball!
LeBron James makes the extra pass! This basketball god hockey assist for an alley-oop!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant with a performance for the ages! A live masterclass chapter!
LeBron James, this giant, acknowledges the fans! A roaring arena! A raised fist!
Albert Einstein blows a kiss to the camera. Kobe Bryant blows twelve. LeBron James blocks the lens. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
116-106 (W)
This household name Kobe Bryant comes out aggressive! Opens with a euro-step at the top of the key!
A tear drop by Kobe Bryant at half court! An unmatched feel for the game in every fiber!
Albert Einstein clamps down! Tighter than an inventor's grip on their prototype sketch!
Narendra Modi delivers the entry pass! Right on the money from this politician!
This potential GOAT Albert Einstein adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
End of the first act. Narendra Modi is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Anecdote: Narendra Modi tried to impress the Philadelphia Injury-Report players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
This generational talent Narendra Modi is automatic at the top of the key! A pull-up jumper drops again!
This absolute legend Narendra Modi has the arena rocking! A boiling cauldron off the charts!
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant runs the damn ball patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
Virat Kohli embodies the spirit of every cricketer who ever dreamed of a fadeaway jumper!
Narendra Modi hugs the coach! The warmth of a politician who just nailed it!
Kobe Bryant does a cartwheel at center court. LeBron James tries one too and eats it. I got a text from Kobe Bryant after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
100-109 (L)
Game time! Albert Einstein and this certified GOAT candidate ready to put on a show at the venue!
Narendra Modi with the contested fadeaway jumper facing the rim! No good! Bad selection!
Albert Einstein with the backcourt violation! An inventor going backwards with the status quo!
Virat Kohli, this undersized spark plug, lets the shooter get free from downtown! Costly lapse!
Kobe Bryant launches and it's a layup! This basketball god proving the doubters wrong!
Halftime! Albert Einstein is limping slightly heading off the court. They say Albert Einstein eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Kobe Bryant can't mask the disappointment! This living legend wearing it on the sleeve!
Kobe Bryant can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this living legend!
Virat Kohli lets fly the ball out of the trap! Scary good handles under pressure!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James is a warrior but the body says no! This ball game of war!
Virat Kohli looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a cricketer!
Virat Kohli sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Narendra Modi puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Did you know that Narendra Modi practices inventor on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
108-115 (L)
Kobe Bryant, this household name, draws first blood! A tear drop to start!
This absolute legend LeBron James shanks a pull-up jumper facing the rim! That's uncharacteristic!
Sloppy handling by Albert Einstein! Revolutionizing the status quo is done with more finesse!
Kobe Bryant gets caught flat-footed! This potential GOAT beaten to the spot!
Narendra Modi blows past with the precision of a politician at work. And it's a hook shot!
Halftime! Albert Einstein walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Anecdote of the day: Albert Einstein forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
LeBron James fires away the towel! This household name showing limited stamina!
Kobe Bryant, this tower, gets the separation but can't finish! Hot head!
Kobe Bryant pushes the pace in transition! Natural-born leadership showing in every play!
Virat Kohli looks to the bench for relief! Relief like a cricketer relieved of the willow bat!
Virat Kohli, this small but mighty player, trudges off the court. Lessons to take from this one.
Albert Einstein closes his eyes walking out. Virat Kohli keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
114-111 (W)
This first-ballot legend Narendra Modi gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
This absolute legend LeBron James anchors the defense under the basket! Nothing gets through!
Albert Einstein forces a pull-up jumper from the left corner! This first-ballot legend trying too hard!
Albert Einstein carves through and scores! That's what an inventor does best!
Virat Kohli, this pocket rocket, exploits the mismatch driving to the hoop! Smart play!
Break! LeBron James heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Did you know LeBron James started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
LeBron James, this guy with rings on every finger, keeps the team alive! A step-back three in the final quarter!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James with the screen navigation! Gets through and contests!
You can feel a roaring arena through the screen! Narendra Modi in the spotlight!
Albert Einstein, this all-around player, muscles through for a pull-up jumper in the fourth quarter!
Virat Kohli dominates the box score! Numbers worthy of a cricketer's the leather ball chart!
Albert Einstein does a belly slide on the court. Narendra Modi does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
98-126 (L)
This big-name player Virat Kohli catches the pill early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Albert Einstein misses the bunny! An inventor dropping the status quo from point-blank!
Virat Kohli loses the Spalding! A cricketer would never be this careless!
Albert Einstein gets posterized! An inventor framed by their prototype sketch in the worst way!
A double-clutch layup from Narendra Modi! This undisputed superstar reminding everyone why they're on top!
The players leave the court. Albert Einstein clings to the tunnel railing. Fun fact: Albert Einstein got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Albert Einstein slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than an inventor hits the workbench!
LeBron James lets fly but overcooks it! Sometimes predictable game showing up again!
Virat Kohli reads the defense perfectly! That dawg mentality and a sky-high basketball IQ!
LeBron James is cramping up! This household name trying to shake it off! Ego the size of Texas!
This potential GOAT Narendra Modi congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this potential GOAT.
Kobe Bryant replays the score in his head on a loop. Virat Kohli tries to think about something else. I learned that Kobe Bryant's father was an inventor. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
98-99 (L)
Virat Kohli, this low-to-the-ground speedster, announced to huge cheers! A boiling cauldron!
Kobe Bryant converts back to the basket! A finger roll with trademark pure God-given talent!
Virat Kohli can't stay in front! Dispatching the leather ball doesn't build lateral quickness!
An off-balance shot from LeBron James sails wide! This guy with rings on every finger needs to regroup!
Kobe Bryant attacks and scores! The comeback is on! This once-in-a-lifetime player believing!
Break! Albert Einstein has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Did you know Albert Einstein started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Kobe Bryant misses in the clutch! A pull-up jumper off the mark in the fourth quarter!
LeBron James shoots angrily after the turnover! This global icon spiraling!
Kobe Bryant, this absolute legend, delivers a live masterclass! Wisdom and poise!
Kobe Bryant steps back and slips! Turnover in the extra period! Hot head!
Albert Einstein takes the loss hard! Hard as the status quo on a bad inventor day!
LeBron James is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Narendra Modi waits at the tunnel entrance. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
100-98 (W)
LeBron James takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
This franchise guy Virat Kohli with a critical stop! A flawless defensive rotation when it counts!
Narendra Modi sends it wide! Their campaign podium wouldn't forgive that either!
This basketball god Kobe Bryant converts at the buzzer! A floater right on cue!
This hall-of-fame lock Kobe Bryant uses the floater over this absolute unit coverage! Smart!
Rest. Kobe Bryant buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Fun fact: Kobe Bryant was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Kobe Bryant, this all-time great, with the cold-blooded off-balance shot in the paint!
Virat Kohli forces the bad shot! The willow bat intimidation factor!
Chants of 'cricketer! Cricketer!' fill the field house for Virat Kohli!
Narendra Modi with the clutch steal! Quick hands from this politician!
This first-ballot legend Kobe Bryant is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
LeBron James moonwalks across the hardwood. Albert Einstein attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
99-97 (W)
Kobe Bryant opens with a bank shot! This guy with rings on every finger making an early statement!
This certified GOAT candidate LeBron James with the volleyball spike a ball recovery! Emphatic!
Virat Kohli blows past the pill right into the defender's hands! Hot head!
A bucket from Kobe Bryant! Another dagger! This absolute legend closing the door!
Albert Einstein, this smooth operator, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Halftime. Kobe Bryant's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Fun fact: Kobe Bryant got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
This headliner Virat Kohli with nerves of steel! A pull-up jumper when it matters most!
Narendra Modi times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A flawless defensive rotation along the baseline!
Listen to that roar! Kobe Bryant dunks and the place explodes!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, blocks the go-ahead attempt! In the dying seconds a crucial offensive board!
LeBron James, this undisputed superstar, soaks in the moment! Victory from mid-range! A salute to the fans!
Albert Einstein climbs onto the scorer's table. LeBron James joins him. Security is unsure whether to intervene. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
87-111 (L)
Narendra Modi steps onto the hardwood! From shaping the public policy to this, game time!
Kobe Bryant, this first-ballot legend, comes up empty! A devastating dunk off target from mid-range!
This elite player Virat Kohli loses concentration and the Spalding with it!
Albert Einstein gives up the back door! Heavy feet when overplaying!
Albert Einstein strings together a deep three off the pick and roll. Pure God-given talent on full display!
Halftime! Albert Einstein is limping slightly heading off the court. Did you know Albert Einstein once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
This potential GOAT Kobe Bryant slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Albert Einstein can't find the range! Their prototype sketch has better accuracy than that!
Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Virat Kohli is visibly tired! This All-Star caliber talent needs a timeout badly!
LeBron James, this undisputed superstar, takes the loss hard. Occasional mental lapses at the wrong moments.
LeBron James's complexion is grey. Albert Einstein's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
80-118 (L)
Albert Einstein takes the court to a packed arena! The inventor with their prototype sketch is here!
Virat Kohli can't convert the open shot! Dispatching the leather ball is way easier!
LeBron James coughs up the orange! Tendency to force bad shots strikes again under the basket!
Kobe Bryant gets screened out of the play! This household name lost in traffic!
Kobe Bryant, this franchise cornerstone, refuses to high-five! Hot head hurting the chemistry!
Cut! Halftime. LeBron James's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Fun fact: LeBron James was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James muscles up a bank shot but can't get it to fall!
Virat Kohli asks for ice! Cooling down, even a cricketer's engine needs a rest!
LeBron James, this titan, commits the travel! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the footwork!
LeBron James, this giant, pounds the scorer's table! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Narendra Modi fades away to the tunnel in disappointment. This potential GOAT will learn from this.
Albert Einstein sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Kobe Bryant puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
92-129 (L)
Albert Einstein checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Virat Kohli launches a double-clutch layup and... Airball! Tendency to rush at its peak!
Turnover by Albert Einstein! Revolutionizing the status quo requires less coordination, clearly!
Virat Kohli loses their assignment! Like losing the willow bat in the workshop!
Narendra Modi vents at their teammates! The politician who vents about the public policy!
Halftime. Albert Einstein glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. I've been told Albert Einstein once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Narendra Modi with the off-balance reverse layup! This potential GOAT couldn't set the feet!
Albert Einstein digs deep! Deep as an inventor digs into the status quo!
Intercepted! Albert Einstein's pass snatched right out of the air! An inventor would never be that careless!
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Narendra Modi tips the cap to the winners! The politician's grace with the public policy!
Virat Kohli pulls his cap down over his eyes. Kobe Bryant doesn't have a cap, and it shows. I learned tonight that Virat Kohli used to be an inventor. That explains the unique running style. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
76-120 (L)
LeBron James takes off into position! This generational talent not wasting any time!
Narendra Modi, this undersized dog, can't get a layup to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
This global icon Narendra Modi with turnover number buckets! Ego the size of Texas is piling up!
Narendra Modi gets blown by! Even a politician couldn't stop that!
Virat Kohli kicks the air! The frustration of a cricketer who knows they can do better!
Players head to the locker room. Virat Kohli has tape on three fingers. Did you know Virat Kohli plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
LeBron James forces up an and-one over the defense! Limited stamina! Bad decision!
Kobe Bryant, this beanpole, with tired legs from mid-range! Injury-prone body slowing this all-time great down!
LeBron James with a wild pass that sails out! This undisputed superstar giving it away!
Albert Einstein walks away muttering! Muttering about the status quo under their breath!
Virat Kohli walks off in silence. This elite player gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Albert Einstein slams his fist on the bench. Kobe Bryant places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
fahhh finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. Ladies and gentlemen... Fahhh!
Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Narendra Modi is on this team. Narendra Modi, who is a politician and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with their campaign podium under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
The budget is starting to look sexy. They're over the cap, the owner is coughing up some luxury tax, and the roster has some swagger. There's experience, talent, and that little extra something that makes opponents take you seriously. It's not superteam territory yet, but damn, we're not in the gutter anymore either. The GM built a smart roster with guys who complement each other well. The kind of team that can wreak havoc in the playoffs if the stars align.
fahhh finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
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