And then and then and then and then and then and then — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | And then and then and then and then and then and then | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
Pre-season
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. Ladies and gentlemen... And then and then and then and then and then and then! The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. LeBron James. The man. The beast. Standing at 206 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Abraham Lincoln. A farmer. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a farmer, with seed dibber, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Abraham Lincoln has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses stubborn soil with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-131 (L)
Tip-off! Jaxson Dart gets us started! Let's go!
Brick! Scottie Pippen misfires from way beyond the arc! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Scottie Pippen with a wild pass that sails out! This big-name player giving it away!
Scottie Pippen scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Hot head!
Jaxson Dart goes to work the towel! This newcomer showing shaky emotions under pressure!
The locker room. Abraham Lincoln sprawls out full-length on the bench. Did you know Abraham Lincoln started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Jesus Christ can't convert! The messiah's touch with the game deserted them!
This all-time great LeBron James can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Scottie Pippen coughs up the Wilson! Sometimes predictable game strikes again under the basket!
Scottie Pippen, this 7-footer, shows negative body language! Occasional mental lapses creeping in!
Abraham Lincoln takes the loss hard! Hard as the stubborn soil on a bad farmer day!
Abraham Lincoln shakes Jesus Christ's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
123-87 (W)
LeBron James, this long boy, takes the court! The hostile crowd is electric!
Abraham Lincoln scores in transition! Fast as a farmer grabbing the seed dibber!
Jesus Christ with the no-look pass! This franchise cornerstone has eyes in the back of the head!
LeBron James, this franchise cornerstone, unleashes a thunderous slam at the top of the key! Bang!
Jaxson Dart, this do-it-all player, contests everything back to the basket! An unmatched feel for the game on full display!
The players disappear. LeBron James has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: LeBron James threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Jesus Christ steps back and delivers a pull-up jumper! Their bare hands by day, buckets by night!
Scottie Pippen, this jersey-selling name, still going full throttle! No mercy tonight!
Abraham Lincoln is coaching using the seed dibber diagrams! The whiteboard looks interesting!
This household name Jesus Christ stares down the bench! A salute to the fans after the big play!
LeBron James tosses the orange in the air! A hug with the coach! This hall-of-fame lock mission accomplished!
Jesus Christ grabs LeBron James and hoists him onto his shoulders. Jaxson Dart tries to climb on too. It ends in a pile. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
121-101 (W)
Jesus Christ stretches center court! Loosening up, the messiah is getting ready!
Scottie Pippen pulls up and drills a thunderous slam! Can't teach that!
Scottie Pippen, this oversized freak, covers ground to get the surgical steal! Wow!
Jaxson Dart quarter-backs the possession! Assist for a tear drop! What a pass!
Abraham Lincoln sets the screen with precision worthy of the seed dibber! Tactical genius!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Jaxson Dart picks up the pace. Anecdote: Jaxson Dart threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
This all-time great Jesus Christ erupts for an alley-oop! The floodgates are open!
The crowd is on its feet! A cathedral silence as Scottie Pippen takes the court!
Scottie Pippen finds the open teammate! This certified bucket making everyone better!
This certified bucket Scottie Pippen silences the noise! Pure God-given talent locked in! Nothing else matters!
Abraham Lincoln carries the team to victory! Strong as a farmer on a Monday morning!
Abraham Lincoln mimes popping a champagne bottle. Jesus Christ mimes chugging straight from it. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
115-80 (W)
Game time! LeBron James and this all-time great ready to put on a show at the court!
Abraham Lincoln, this do-it-all player, carves up the defense for an alley-oop! Beautiful!
LeBron James, this tower, with the pocket pass! Silky smooth technique in tight spaces!
Jaxson Dart lets fly the damn ball into a thunderous slam! That dawg mentality shining through!
Scottie Pippen with the denial defense! This All-Star caliber talent not giving an inch!
Break. Scottie Pippen collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Physio's confession: Scottie Pippen purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Abraham Lincoln, this smooth operator, rises above and hammers a thunderous slam!
Scottie Pippen, this mountain of a man, makes it look like practice! Total domination!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James passes to the opponent! Gift exchange on the low block!
Scottie Pippen rises up to center court! A bench mob celebration! This jersey-selling name owns the moment!
Final buzzer! Abraham Lincoln is the hero! This hall-of-fame lock with a game for the ages!
Abraham Lincoln, Scottie Pippen, and Jaxson Dart pose for a group photo at center court. Nobody has a phone. I got a text from Abraham Lincoln after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
99-117 (L)
Abraham Lincoln takes the court to a hostile crowd! The farmer with the seed dibber is here!
Jaxson Dart rushes a fadeaway jumper from the right corner! Sometimes predictable game creeping in!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James gets pickpocketed at the buzzer! Sloppy handling!
Jaxson Dart turns the head and loses the man! This player nobody saw coming napping defensively!
This player nobody saw coming Jaxson Dart with a picture-perfect deep three! The crowd goes wild!
Break. Scottie Pippen's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Exclusive info: Scottie Pippen is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
This rising star Jaxson Dart throws an elbow in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
Off the mark for Jesus Christ! Great messiah, not so great at basketball tonight!
LeBron James, this mountain of a man, sets a brick-wall screen! Insane court vision on full display!
This certified GOAT candidate LeBron James signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Tendency to force bad shots!
Abraham Lincoln had the chances but couldn't convert. This once-in-a-lifetime player left wanting.
LeBron James takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Jaxson Dart follows the same path. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
104-97 (W)
Abraham Lincoln, this all-around player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This undisputed superstar is in the building!
LeBron James, this mammoth, showcases a gym-rat work ethic with a gorgeous buzzer beater!
Jaxson Dart slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Silky smooth technique in every step!
Abraham Lincoln picks apart the defense! Assist leads to an alley-oop!
This bonafide star Scottie Pippen recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Rest time. Jesus Christ isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. Confession: Jesus Christ believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Scottie Pippen, this colossus, posts up and delivers an alley-oop! Textbook!
The entire arena rises for Jesus Christ! A messiah lifted by their bare hands and love!
Abraham Lincoln, this swiss-army-knife type, sets the perfect screen! Next-level basketball IQ for the team!
Abraham Lincoln's work ethic? Forged by the farmer life, perfected on the court!
This absolute legend LeBron James thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
Jaxson Dart and LeBron James leap onto each other like kids. Scottie Pippen comes sprinting in and crushes them both. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
112-100 (W)
This franchise cornerstone Jesus Christ comes out firing! A sky hook in the first minute!
A bucket from Jaxson Dart! This diamond in the rough reminding everyone why they're on top!
Scottie Pippen, this tree of a man, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!
Abraham Lincoln reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this farmer!
Rest. Scottie Pippen buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Anecdote: Scottie Pippen lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
The crowd erupts as Abraham Lincoln nails a two-handed slam! A farmer on fire at the floor!
Listen to that roar! Jaxson Dart dishes and the place explodes!
Jesus Christ celebrates the team's success! This global icon knows together is better!
Jesus Christ, the messiah from the day shift, is writing their story on the field house tonight!
Jesus Christ finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a messiah would be proud of!
LeBron James moonwalks across the hardwood. Jaxson Dart attempts the worm. One of them pulls it off. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
117-104 (W)
The game begins and Jesus Christ is ready! You can see nerves of steel written all over his face!
Jesus Christ handles the Spalding like their bare hands. An alley-oop from downtown! The precision of a messiah!
Abraham Lincoln takes the charge! Tough as nails, that's a farmer who doesn't back down!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Jesus Christ shifts the defense! Moving pieces like a messiah at work!
Halftime. LeBron James throws his towel on the floor walking in. Fun fact: LeBron James failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Scottie Pippen, this oversized freak, takes over at the top of the key. A devastating dunk! That's elite!
Jesus Christ, this undisputed superstar, waves the crowd up! A standing ovation rising!
Jaxson Dart posts up the Wilson with patience! This player nobody saw coming trusting the system!
This diamond in the rough Jaxson Dart plays every possession like the last! Iron discipline burning bright!
LeBron James daps up the opponent! Respect from this living legend after the battle!
Jaxson Dart hits a dab in 2026. Abraham Lincoln does an ironic dab. Jesus Christ has no idea what that is. Behind the scenes, I learned Abraham Lincoln was also a messiah in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
82-118 (L)
Abraham Lincoln announces themselves! The farmer has arrived and the building knows it!
Scottie Pippen, this long boy, bobbles the ball and the chance evaporates back to the basket!
This living legend LeBron James with turnover number lengths ahead! Ego the size of Texas is piling up!
This hall-of-fame lock Jesus Christ misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
Jaxson Dart slams the leather in frustration! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Break. Abraham Lincoln asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Did you know Abraham Lincoln plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Abraham Lincoln misses the free throw! Cultivating the stubborn soil under pressure is easier!
LeBron James, this generational talent, sucking wind after that sprint! The 4 periods of 12 minutes of battle!
Scottie Pippen charges right into the defender! Turnover! Injury-prone body when controlling pace!
Jesus Christ vents at their teammates! The messiah who vents about the game!
LeBron James, this potential GOAT, takes the loss hard. Tendency to rush at the wrong moments.
Jesus Christ claps his hands in frustration. Scottie Pippen clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Tonight I had a revelation: Scottie Pippen runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
93-113 (L)
Jaxson Dart looks dialed in from the start! Scary good handles preparation showing!
LeBron James, this living legend, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Jaxson Dart, this solid build, gets stripped on the low block! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
Jaxson Dart, this combo guard, can't keep up with the speed! Limited stamina exposed!
LeBron James scores with insane court vision. A reverse layup in the paint! Too smooth!
Break! LeBron James heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Anecdote: LeBron James once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Jaxson Dart, this potential breakout star, with the frustrated foul! Sometimes predictable game in tough moments!
LeBron James forces a bad alley-oop! This global icon needs to trust teammates!
Jesus Christ, this solid build, exploits the mismatch from mid-range! Smart play!
Jaxson Dart drives a step slower than usual! Tendency to rush in the tank!
Jaxson Dart, this versatile guy, hangs the head. Tough loss despite an unmatched feel for the game effort.
Jaxson Dart hurls his mouthguard into the trash. LeBron James keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
90-130 (L)
Jesus Christ takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
LeBron James dunks and fires but misses everything! Limited stamina tonight!
Abraham Lincoln forces the pass! Forcing the seed dibber where it doesn't fit!
Jesus Christ can't stay in front! Competing the game doesn't build lateral quickness!
Jesus Christ stares in disbelief! The look of a messiah who just lost everything!
Both teams head in. Abraham Lincoln has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Small detail: Abraham Lincoln wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Abraham Lincoln rattles it out! Shaking the temple of basketball with the seed dibber intensity!
Jesus Christ grabs the shorts! This absolute legend is running on fumes!
This guy with rings on every finger Abraham Lincoln dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
LeBron James mouths off and picks up a T! Limited stamina taking over!
LeBron James, this mammoth, trudges off the gymnasium. Lessons to take from this one.
LeBron James sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Scottie Pippen has his head in his hands. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
101-105 (L)
Abraham Lincoln gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a farmer on day one!
Abraham Lincoln scoops it up and in! The touch of a farmer with the stubborn soil!
Jaxson Dart gambles for the steal and pays the price! Ego the size of Texas!
Jaxson Dart, this tweener, loses the handle and the opportunity! Injury-prone body!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Jesus Christ hits the big three! The deficit down to single digits!
The players disappear. Jesus Christ has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: Jesus Christ tried to impress the Cleveland Twin-Towers players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Jesus Christ misses the game-tying shot! Even a messiah couldn't save that one!
Jesus Christ kicks the air! The frustration of a messiah who knows they can do better!
Jaxson Dart, this smooth operator, sets the tone with an unmatched feel for the game! Leader!
Jesus Christ called for the travel at the buzzer! Walking away from the game shame!
This undisputed superstar Jesus Christ stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this undisputed superstar wanted.
LeBron James sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Jaxson Dart puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Behind the scenes, I learned Jaxson Dart was also a messiah in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
86-116 (L)
Scottie Pippen, this tree of a man, announced to huge cheers! A boiling cauldron!
Jesus Christ fires and misses from way beyond the arc. Should have stuck with the game!
Abraham Lincoln loses possession! The stubborn soil never leaves a farmer's hands like that!
This all-time great Abraham Lincoln fouls reaching in! Sometimes predictable game on defense!
Jaxson Dart, this dude out of nowhere, drops a pull-up jumper in the paint! Pure artistry!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Jaxson Dart asks for an ice pack. Rumor has it Jaxson Dart tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Jesus Christ shakes their head! A messiah who can't believe that just happened!
Jesus Christ can't connect! Their bare hands in hand, sure. The rock through the hoop, nope!
LeBron James uses the hesitation dribble! An unmatched feel for the game creating separation!
Scottie Pippen bends over during the dead ball! This All-Star caliber talent gathering what's left!
Jesus Christ launches to the tunnel in disappointment. This absolute legend will learn from this.
Abraham Lincoln lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Jesus Christ holds his in. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
87-125 (L)
This bonafide star Scottie Pippen comes out aggressive! Opens with a floater along the baseline!
LeBron James forces a free throw along the baseline! This guy with rings on every finger trying too hard!
Jesus Christ with the backcourt violation! This living legend under too much pressure!
Jaxson Dart, this tweener, fouls unnecessarily off the pick and roll! Sometimes predictable game!
This global icon Jesus Christ stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, LeBron James picks up the pace. Exclusive: LeBron James was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Abraham Lincoln takes a tough catch-and-shoot triple and it doesn't go! Limited stamina in shot selection!
LeBron James short-arms the shot from fatigue! This franchise cornerstone has nothing left!
LeBron James throws it into the stands! What was that from this all-time great!
This generational talent Jesus Christ hangs the head after the miss! Deflated off the pick and roll!
Scottie Pippen, this All-Star caliber talent, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Jesus Christ watches the crowd file out in silence. Scottie Pippen prefers not to look. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
96-113 (L)
Scottie Pippen goes to work with energy from the opening whistle! This established star locked in!
Jesus Christ, this all-around player, gets the separation but can't finish! Hot head!
LeBron James, this tree of a man, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from the left corner!
LeBron James, this tower, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over tendency to rush!
Jaxson Dart converts a tough hook shot at the top of the key! Skill level: elite!
Break. LeBron James's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Little secret: LeBron James has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Abraham Lincoln storms to the bench! Heated! This farmer doesn't handle losing well!
LeBron James fires a buzzer-beater in transition but can't connect! Ego the size of Texas showing!
LeBron James reads the defense perfectly! Silky smooth technique and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Jesus Christ is huffing and puffing! Winded, even a messiah would call it quits!
Scottie Pippen goes to work past the media. This world-class player not in the mood to talk.
LeBron James lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Abraham Lincoln decides not to comment. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
And then and then and then and then and then and then finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. Ladies and gentlemen... And then and then and then and then and then and then!
The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. LeBron James. The man. The beast. Standing at 206 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Abraham Lincoln. A farmer. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a farmer, with seed dibber, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Abraham Lincoln has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses stubborn soil with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee.
Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
And then and then and then and then and then and then finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
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