My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. George Washington. The man. The beast. Standing at 74 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. The chef's surprise of the evening is George Foreman. A boxer by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle heavy bags with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
85-130 (L)
Genghis Khan, this absolute legend, draws first blood! A double-clutch layup to start!
George Foreman, this solid build, gets the look but can't convert from downtown!
Scott Lang loses the leather in traffic! This up-and-coming baller can't afford that!
George Foreman gets screened out! Stuck behind the hand wraps like it's a wall!
George Washington drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a farmer's spirit has limits!
Cut! Halftime. Genghis Khan's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Anecdote: Genghis Khan slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. We're back! The players look fired up.
Scott Lang with a rough two-handed slam from downtown! Heavy feet at the worst time!
Muhammad Ali misses from fatigue! This basketball god can't get the elevation from the right corner!
Muhammad Ali, this all-around player, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted in transition!
George Washington, this once-in-a-lifetime player, barks at the teammate! Occasional mental lapses taking over!
Muhammad Ali absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, an activist knows tough days!
George Washington's complexion is grey. Genghis Khan's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
98-123 (L)
George Foreman takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Muhammad Ali can't convert! The activist's touch with the protest march deserted them!
Scott Lang with the backcourt violation! This legit talent under too much pressure!
Scott Lang, this smooth operator, gets blown by on the perimeter! Sometimes predictable game in the legs!
Scott Lang, this solid build, elevates for a monster devastating dunk!
Halftime whistle! George Washington slides down against the hallway wall. I've been told George Washington always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Genghis Khan, this combo guard, pounds the scorer's table! Limited stamina on full display!
Genghis Khan whiffs on the jumper! A military leader off their game with the battle standard!
George Washington reads the defense perfectly! Ridiculous creativity and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Genghis Khan is dead on their feet! Running on fumes, the military leader is spent!
Muhammad Ali consoles teammates! The heart of an activist in that moment!
Scott Lang has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. George Washington has aged ten years in forty minutes. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
88-133 (L)
George Foreman begins their shift on the palace of hoops! A boxer starting the hand wraps shift!
Scott Lang, this do-it-all player, gets the separation but can't finish! Heavy feet!
This guy with a proven track record Scott Lang loses concentration and the leather with it!
Scott Lang loses the screen battle! Tendency to force bad shots around the picks!
George Foreman throws their hands up! Like a boxer when the hand wraps breaks!
Halftime. George Foreman's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. They say George Foreman has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Air ball from George Washington! Being a farmer doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
George Washington gulps water! As thirsty as a farmer reaching for the stubborn soil!
Muhammad Ali with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the protest march!
This max-contract guy George Foreman can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Genghis Khan walks off in defeat! Even a military leader's skills couldn't save tonight!
Scott Lang taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. George Washington walks through the door without pushing it. I learned backstage that George Washington also does farmer on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
90-127 (L)
This next-level player Scott Lang comes out firing! An alley-oop in the first minute!
George Washington gets a clean look but sometimes predictable game costs the bucket!
George Washington dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the farmer's finest moment!
Scott Lang, this all-around player, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over defense that's basically a suggestion!
Muhammad Ali steps back angrily after the turnover! This potential GOAT spiraling!
Halftime. Scott Lang is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Did you know Scott Lang keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
George Foreman fires a brick driving to the hoop! Way off, even for a boxer!
This player on the come-up Scott Lang calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking its toll!
This next-level player Scott Lang commits the offensive foul! Turnover from mid-range!
George Foreman waves off the play! The authority of a boxer in that gesture!
Muhammad Ali had the chances but couldn't convert. This all-time great left wanting.
George Foreman's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Scott Lang breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
83-118 (L)
This dude putting the league on notice Scott Lang comes out aggressive! Opens with a floater on the low block!
George Washington rises up but the shot rims out! Tendency to force bad shots rears its ugly head!
Intercepted! George Foreman's pass snatched right out of the air! A boxer would never be that careless!
Genghis Khan caught flat-footed! Standing still, the military leader reflexes took a nap!
Scott Lang, this smooth operator, throws the hands up! Exasperated from way beyond the arc!
Break! Muhammad Ali takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Bus driver's confession: Muhammad Ali raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
George Washington misses from the corner! Along the baseline is no place for the seed dibber!
Scott Lang is cramping up! This respected competitor trying to shake it off! Tendency to force bad shots!
Muhammad Ali botches the handoff! Even their megaphone exchanges go smoother!
Muhammad Ali rises up and kicks the stanchion! This generational talent losing composure!
This hooper's hooper Scott Lang stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this hooper's hooper wanted.
Muhammad Ali refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Scott Lang watches it and immediately regrets it. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
99-114 (L)
George Washington checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Off the mark for Muhammad Ali! Great activist, not so great at basketball tonight!
Muhammad Ali loses the orange! An activist would never be this careless!
Genghis Khan loses the battle in the paint! Being a military leader doesn't help you here!
Scott Lang with another pull-up jumper! You can't stop this man!
Break! Genghis Khan grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know? Genghis Khan once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Muhammad Ali sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like an activist after a long shift!
George Washington bricks it! Not the same accuracy as cultivating the stubborn soil!
This solid pro Scott Lang switches defensive assignments on the fly! Next-level basketball IQ!
Genghis Khan is running on pure willpower! This living legend refusing to quit!
Genghis Khan fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the military leader gave everything!
Muhammad Ali closes his eyes walking out. Scott Lang keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
84-129 (L)
This hall-of-fame lock George Washington gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
A free throw attempt by George Washington falls short! Shaky emotions under pressure in the legs!
This certified GOAT candidate Genghis Khan with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
George Foreman overcommits and gets beat! Defense that's basically a suggestion when reading the play!
George Foreman mouths off and picks up a T! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
Time to breathe. George Washington has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Small detail: George Washington wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Genghis Khan, this absolute legend, fumbles the finish driving to the hoop! Back to the drawing board!
Scott Lang is gassed! This league veteran bent over at half court! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
George Washington, this short king, gets the ball poked away! Occasional mental lapses when protecting the pill!
Muhammad Ali drops the head after another miss! Ego the size of Texas sapping the confidence!
Muhammad Ali attacks to the tunnel in disappointment. This absolute legend will learn from this.
Genghis Khan kicks his towel across the floor. George Washington has already left for the locker room, alone. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
88-132 (L)
Muhammad Ali starts in the floor general! Playing the floor general the way an activist plays with their megaphone!
Scott Lang, this guy with a proven track record, comes up empty! A thunderous slam off target in the paint!
George Foreman with the backcourt violation! A boxer going backwards with the heavy bags!
George Washington overcommits! Going all-in like a farmer on the stubborn soil, but wrong!
George Foreman is visibly upset! Upset as a boxer when the heavy bags goes sideways!
Break. Scott Lang's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. They say Scott Lang eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
George Foreman misses the triple! Three-pointers aren't like triple-checking the heavy bags!
Genghis Khan takes the rest play! Even a military leader needs a breather!
Genghis Khan passes to nobody! This global icon with a head-scratching decision!
George Foreman mouths off in the money time! A boxer venting about the heavy bags!
Scott Lang, this do-it-all player, trudges off the venue. Lessons to take from this one.
George Washington's eyes are red, jaw tight. Genghis Khan apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. I learned tonight that George Washington used to be a farmer. That explains the unique running style. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
79-124 (L)
George Washington bounces the basketball pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
George Foreman just barely misses! Close as a boxer getting the heavy bags almost right!
Muhammad Ali with the careless pass! Rallying the protest march with more care, please!
Scott Lang, this versatile guy, gets dunked on from downtown! Poster material!
George Washington vents at their teammates! The farmer who vents about the stubborn soil!
Back to the locker room. Genghis Khan punches his locker. Juicy intel: Genghis Khan turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Scott Lang, this do-it-all player, can't finish on the low block! That one stings!
George Washington bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a farmer after the seed dibber overtime!
This headliner George Foreman gets pickpocketed at half court! Sloppy handling!
George Foreman storms to the bench! This jersey-selling name is visibly upset!
Genghis Khan hangs their head! A military leader who gave everything they had!
George Washington's eyes are glassy. Genghis Khan mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
90-134 (L)
Muhammad Ali wins the opening tip! Tipping off with activist energy!
Muhammad Ali bricks another one! Building something awful with their megaphone tonight!
Scott Lang charges right into the defender! Turnover! Limited stamina when controlling pace!
Genghis Khan can't contain the drive! Rallying the war front is more containable!
This first-ballot legend George Washington throws an elbow in frustration! Limited stamina on full display!
Halftime whistle. Scott Lang high-fives his teammates on the way out. Anecdote: Scott Lang once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
George Foreman launches and misses! The Spalding isn't the heavy bags, and it shows!
Genghis Khan, this swiss-army-knife type, looks exhausted at the buzzer! The legs are gone!
Turnover by Genghis Khan! Rallying the war front requires less coordination, clearly!
Scott Lang gets a technical for complaining! Limited stamina on full display!
George Foreman, this big-name player, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
George Washington sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Genghis Khan puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
84-129 (L)
George Foreman, this big-name player, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Genghis Khan gets blocked! Rejected harder than a military leader's worst day on the job!
George Foreman trips up in the low post! A boxer never trips at work... Right?
Scott Lang gets caught flat-footed! This hooper's hooper beaten to the spot!
Muhammad Ali argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to rallying the protest march!
Halftime! Muhammad Ali looks in the mirror and shakes his head. They say Muhammad Ali eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
Scott Lang, this swiss-army-knife type, gets stuffed trying a tear drop! Denied!
Genghis Khan grabs the jersey for air! Needs more air than the battle standard in the workshop!
Muhammad Ali crosses over the pill right to the defense! Costly mistake by this guy with rings on every finger!
Muhammad Ali shakes their head! An activist who can't believe that just happened!
Scott Lang, this solid pro, takes the loss hard. Sometimes predictable game at the wrong moments.
Muhammad Ali walks head down toward the tunnel. Genghis Khan drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
76-120 (L)
Scott Lang, this smooth operator, is introduced and the arena explodes! This legit talent is in the building!
This basketball god George Washington misfires again! Hot head could cost the team!
George Washington, this little thunder, fumbles the entry pass under the basket!
This living legend Genghis Khan fouls reaching in! Tendency to rush on defense!
Muhammad Ali, this do-it-all player, sits down hard on the bench! Hot head written all over his face!
Into the tunnel. Genghis Khan grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Locker room anecdote: Genghis Khan talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Muhammad Ali shoots short! Not enough juice! Even an activist would cringe!
Genghis Khan bends over during the dead ball! This undisputed superstar gathering what's left!
Genghis Khan, this all-around player, commits the travel! Limited stamina in the footwork!
Muhammad Ali picks up the second technical! This guy with rings on every finger ejected! Heavy feet!
Genghis Khan wipes a tear! A military leader who poured everything into the effort!
George Foreman collapses into the first available chair. Scott Lang stays standing, eyes glazed over. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
83-116 (L)
George Washington sets the tone early! The farmer came to play tonight!
George Foreman puts up a prayer... Unanswered! Not even the hand wraps can save that!
Genghis Khan gets picked! A military leader getting the war front stolen in broad daylight!
Muhammad Ali falls asleep on the weak side! Shaky emotions under pressure exposed!
George Foreman, this established star, refuses to high-five! Hot head hurting the chemistry!
Break. Muhammad Ali's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Little secret: Muhammad Ali watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
This living legend George Washington misses the mark! A floater goes begging at half court!
George Foreman, this top-tier talent, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Muhammad Ali loses possession! The protest march never leaves an activist's hands like that!
George Foreman buries their face! Hidden from view, the boxer can't watch!
Scott Lang explodes past the media. This seasoned vet not in the mood to talk.
George Washington and Genghis Khan walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. I learned backstage that Genghis Khan also does farmer on weekends. That explains those reflexes. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
84-109 (L)
George Washington fires up the crowd to open the game! This potential GOAT starting strong!
George Washington misses! Even a farmer can't fix that shot!
Muhammad Ali with the errant pass! This all-time great needs to settle down!
Genghis Khan gets screened out of the play! This franchise cornerstone lost in traffic!
Scott Lang pulls up and drills a buzzer-beater! Can't teach that!
Both teams head to the locker room. Muhammad Ali wipes his forehead with his jersey. Locker room intel: Muhammad Ali has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
George Washington, this little firecracker, waves off the play call! Defense that's basically a suggestion hurting the team!
Genghis Khan, this versatile guy, wastes a golden chance with a wild layup!
Genghis Khan exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with the battle standard acumen!
This potential GOAT Muhammad Ali signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Injury-prone body!
George Foreman leaves the court quietly! Quiet as a boxer after the heavy bags setback!
George Foreman and George Washington walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
76-121 (L)
Muhammad Ali stretches center court! Loosening up, the activist is getting ready!
George Foreman can't hit from the key! That zone is cursed for this boxer!
George Foreman forces the pass! Forcing the hand wraps where it doesn't fit!
Genghis Khan gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the war front on a rough day!
George Foreman tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the boxer will bounce back!
Halftime. George Foreman's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Did you know? George Foreman tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Muhammad Ali, this guy with rings on every finger, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Genghis Khan calls for the sub! Even a military leader's stamina with the battle standard has limits!
George Washington dribbles it off their foot! The seed dibber would never betray a farmer like that!
George Foreman slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a boxer hits the workbench!
Genghis Khan refuses to make excuses! A military leader owns the war front failures too!
Muhammad Ali's eyes are glassy. Scott Lang mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: George Washington.
Season Journal
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby!
The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. George Washington. The man. The beast. Standing at 74 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight.
But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.
The chef's surprise of the evening is George Foreman. A boxer by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle heavy bags with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him.
Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: George Washington.
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