Team dominate — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Team dominate | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Team dominate! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Standing at 218 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed LaSirena69. The woman. Is. A tv host. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A tv host. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This girl jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at her back. But she's got bare hands and apparently, the technical motion of a tv host and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. Financially, we're in no man's land. Not poor, not rich. The kind of team that eyes the trade deadline with longing but knows it can only afford the appetizer, not the full meal. They've built a solid core through smart Draft picks and savvy free agent signings, but don't ask them to compete with the big dogs. Their weapon? Chemistry. And a coach who turns lead into gold. Well, bronze. Okay, silver on a good day.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
90-133 (L)
George H. W. Bush steps onto the gymnasium! From navigating the political storm to this, game time!
LaSirena69, this miniature missile, wastes a golden chance with a wild bucket!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this colossus, gets stripped driving to the hoop! Limited stamina exposed!
This rising star LaSirena69 fouls reaching in! Sometimes predictable game on defense!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt mouths off at with seconds left on the clock! A statesperson venting about the political storm!
That's a wrap for now. LaSirena69 dives into the tunnel. Did you know? LaSirena69 once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt dunks the ball awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this once-in-a-lifetime player!
Sophie Dee asks for ice! Cooling down, even a stunt performer's engine needs a rest!
This undisputed superstar Kareem Abdul-Jabbar forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The statesperson in them is showing!
Sophie Dee vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
George H. W. Bush hurls his water bottle at the wall. LaSirena69 flinches but doesn't react. I learned that George H. W. Bush's father was a statesperson. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
112-100 (W)
The game begins and Franklin Delano Roosevelt is ready! You can see that dawg mentality written all over his face!
A free throw from LaSirena69! This dark horse reminding everyone why they're on top!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt anticipates the cut and deflects the Spalding! This generational talent reading minds!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, this household name, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a buzzer-beater!
George H. W. Bush reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this statesperson!
That's a wrap for now. Franklin Delano Roosevelt dives into the tunnel. Did you know? Franklin Delano Roosevelt launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
LaSirena69 nails a fadeaway jumper at the last second! A tv host who delivers when it matters!
The announcer calls Franklin Delano Roosevelt 'The statesperson!' the palace of hoops roars its approval!
LaSirena69 finds the open teammate! This diamond in the rough making everyone better!
LaSirena69 overcomes the early struggles! This diamond in the rough rising like a phoenix!
Sophie Dee hugs the coach! This legit talent with a complete performance!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar charges toward the crowd. Franklin Delano Roosevelt catches him just before he dives into the stands. Evening confession: I'm wearing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's jersey under my shirt. For morale. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
120-94 (W)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this colossus, sets the tone immediately! Night-in night-out consistency from the jump!
Sophie Dee converts driving to the hoop! A bucket with trademark pure God-given talent!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this 7-footer, alters the shot! Nerves of steel at the rim!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
This living legend Franklin Delano Roosevelt switches defensive assignments on the fly! A killer instinct!
Halftime. The doctor examines Franklin Delano Roosevelt's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Rumor has it Franklin Delano Roosevelt has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar dunks past the defense for a deep three! Size advantage from this this beanpole!
LaSirena69 salutes the fans! Saluting the crowd, the tv host signs off in style!
George H. W. Bush dives for the loose ball! Full send from this statesperson!
The resilience of George H. W. Bush! A statesperson who never gives up, on or off the court!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, this first-ballot legend, high-fives the bench! A team high-five! Team effort!
LaSirena69 jumps into Sophie Dee's arms without warning. They both go down. I learned tonight that LaSirena69 used to be a statesperson. That explains the unique running style. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
114-108 (W)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt announces themselves! The statesperson has arrived and the building knows it!
LaSirena69 knocks down a bucket from way beyond the arc! Ice in the veins!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this mammoth, with the clutch drawn charge! The crowd is on its feet!
George H. W. Bush with the skip pass! Skipping over the defense, pure statesperson vision!
George H. W. Bush adjusts the matchup! Finding the right fit, the statesperson approach!
Halftime! LaSirena69 has the hardwood pattern imprinted on her elbow. They say LaSirena69 eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
George H. W. Bush sinks it in transition. A statesperson never misses the political storm, and never misses the hoop!
The arena is electric! This household name Kareem Abdul-Jabbar thriving in a cathedral silence!
George H. W. Bush, this undisputed superstar, communicates the switch! An unmatched feel for the game and vocal leadership!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has that look in the eyes! Watch out! Freakish explosiveness!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt wraps up an incredible performance! Wrapped up tight, the statesperson delivered!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. George H. W. Bush makes a bigger heart. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar makes a massive heart. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
97-124 (L)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this global icon, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Sophie Dee puts up a prayer... Unanswered! Not even their bare hands can save that!
This living legend Franklin Delano Roosevelt gets pickpocketed at half court! Sloppy handling!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt loses the screen battle! Tendency to force bad shots around the picks!
George H. W. Bush with an and-one off the pick! Using screens better than most pros!
The players file out. George H. W. Bush exchanges a tense look with the coach. Little secret: George H. W. Bush listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
LaSirena69 gets a technical for complaining! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
LaSirena69 can't get it to fall! Gravity treats the leather differently than the game!
This certified GOAT candidate George H. W. Bush runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this beanpole, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
LaSirena69 is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Franklin Delano Roosevelt waits at the tunnel entrance. Behind the scenes, I learned Franklin Delano Roosevelt was also a statesperson in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
115-104 (W)
Tip-off! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar gets us started! Let's go!
Sophie Dee converts the and-one! Tough as competing the game all day!
Sophie Dee locks down the free-throw line! Fortified with their bare hands!
George H. W. Bush delivers in transition! Fast delivery, like a statesperson with their diplomatic pouch!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt makes the hockey assist! The unsung play of a statesperson behind the political storm!
Both teams head to the locker room. Franklin Delano Roosevelt wipes his forehead with his jersey. Intel: Franklin Delano Roosevelt once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this guy with rings on every finger, drops a layup under the basket! Pure artistry!
A sold-out gym on fire as LaSirena69 checks in for the closing moments! The tv host returns!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt celebrates the teammate's bucket! Joy of a statesperson seeing the political storm succeed!
The evolution of George H. W. Bush: navigating the political storm taught patience. The arena taught glory!
Sophie Dee seals the win! Sealed tight, the stunt performer gets it done!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt and George H. W. Bush carry LaSirena69 like a trophy across the entire court. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
98-118 (L)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Air ball from George H. W. Bush! Being a statesperson doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
George H. W. Bush turns it over in the three-point line! Butterfingers from this statesperson!
George H. W. Bush gets blown by! Even a statesperson couldn't stop that!
LaSirena69 rises and fires! Competing the game never felt this athletic!
Off to the locker room. George H. W. Bush has already drained two water bottles. Anecdote: George H. W. Bush lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
George H. W. Bush drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a statesperson's spirit has limits!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this tower, gets stuffed trying a free throw! Denied!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar pushes the pace in transition! That dawg mentality showing in every play!
Sophie Dee needs oxygen! More winded than a stunt performer after overtime!
LaSirena69, this surprise package, takes the loss hard. Defense that's basically a suggestion at the wrong moments.
George H. W. Bush bites his lip, fists clenched. Franklin Delano Roosevelt shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
118-83 (W)
George H. W. Bush, this living legend, draws first blood! A deep three to start!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this certified GOAT candidate, reads the play perfectly and delivers a tear drop!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar reads the defense like a book! Assist from mid-range! Eyes in the back of the head!
LaSirena69 cuts and scores! Sharp as their bare hands, this tv host!
George H. W. Bush with the chase-down ball recovery! What athleticism!
Coach calls everyone back. LaSirena69 drags her feet toward the tunnel. Staff confession: LaSirena69 is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
This basketball god Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with a beautiful double-clutch layup back to the basket! Poetry in motion!
This hall-of-fame lock George H. W. Bush takes a bow! A primal scream! This was clinical!
Someone check Sophie Dee's bag, is that their bare hands or sports equipment?!
Sophie Dee dunks to center court! A salute to the fans! This solid pro owns the moment!
This established player Sophie Dee secures the win with next-level basketball IQ! Another one in the bag!
LaSirena69 pretends to plant a flag at center court. Franklin Delano Roosevelt stands at attention. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
95-97 (L)
Sophie Dee locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a stunt performer who means business!
An alley-oop by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar from downtown! Night-in night-out consistency in every fiber!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt gets caught flat-footed! This absolute legend beaten to the spot!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt with the off-balance sky hook! This global icon couldn't set the feet!
George H. W. Bush, this swiss-army-knife type, refuses to die! A deep three keeps the dream alive!
Heading in. LaSirena69's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Rumor has it LaSirena69 talks to her basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
This franchise cornerstone George H. W. Bush misses the free throws! Sometimes predictable game at the line!
This potential breakout star LaSirena69 hangs the head after the miss! Deflated on the low block!
This global icon Franklin Delano Roosevelt is the heartbeat of this team! A moment of truth leadership!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt forces the hero ball and misses! This potential GOAT with shaky emotions under pressure!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar sits alone on the bench. This absolute legend processing the defeat.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt avoids the cameras like the plague. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
121-90 (W)
This potential GOAT George H. W. Bush comes out aggressive! Opens with a tear drop on the low block!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, this versatile guy, takes over from the left corner. A bucket! That's elite!
Sophie Dee contests every shot! Relentless as a stunt performer with the game!
Sophie Dee sets up the easy score! Easy as a stunt performer setting up their bare hands!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar reads the defense perfectly! Unreal swagger and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Finally a breather. Franklin Delano Roosevelt has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Anecdote: Franklin Delano Roosevelt fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this franchise cornerstone, knifes through for an alley-oop along the baseline! Wow!
You can cut the tension with a knife! A Playoff atmosphere as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar steps up!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this oversized freak, repositions on defense! Night-in night-out consistency collective effort!
This living legend George H. W. Bush plays every possession like the last! Natural-born leadership burning bright!
George H. W. Bush high-fives the crowd! Those statesperson hands spreading joy!
LaSirena69 does a cartwheel at center court. Franklin Delano Roosevelt tries one too and eats it. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
83-116 (L)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt takes the court to a sold-out gym on fire! The statesperson with their diplomatic pouch is here!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt explodes the pill but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Sloppy handling by Sophie Dee! Competing the game is done with more finesse!
This hidden prospect LaSirena69 commits the and-one foul! Occasional mental lapses in positioning!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar dribbles and kicks the stanchion! This global icon losing composure!
Break! Kareem Abdul-Jabbar heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Rumor has it Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can't buy a bucket! Another miss in the paint! Frustrating!
Sophie Dee shoots sluggishly! Heavy feet catching up with this player making noise!
George H. W. Bush gets the ball stripped! The political storm would have stayed in a statesperson's grip!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this 7-footer, shows negative body language! Lack of consistency creeping in!
This guy with rings on every finger Franklin Delano Roosevelt shakes hands and moves on. In the end, heavy feet proved costly.
George H. W. Bush isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
100-94 (W)
LaSirena69 looks dialed in from the start! Pure God-given talent preparation showing!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this absolute unit, elevates for a monster reverse layup!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this absolute legend, shuts down the play in transition! Lockdown defender!
Sophie Dee times the pass perfectly! Timing of a stunt performer with their bare hands!
Sophie Dee schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true stunt performer!
Halftime. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Confession: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
This potential GOAT George H. W. Bush with a cold-blooded finger roll! No conscience!
Post-game fireworks for Sophie Dee! Brighter than their bare hands on a perfect day!
George H. W. Bush sacrifices for the team! Selfless play from this statesperson!
This is the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar game! This once-in-a-lifetime player taking over in the closing moments!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this tower, acknowledges the fans! A Finals-like atmosphere! A salute to the fans!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Sophie Dee run circles around LaSirena69 who doesn't move. Zen. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
111-89 (W)
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar penetrates onto the floor! The crowd roars for this all-time great!
This living legend Franklin Delano Roosevelt does it again! An and-one with effortless precision!
Sophie Dee picks off the lob! Intercepting mid-air, pure stunt performer reflexes!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt threads the needle! Precision of their diplomatic pouch through the political storm!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt identifies the soft spot in the zone! This living legend surgical precision!
Halftime whistle. Sophie Dee flops into the first available chair. Confession: Sophie Dee believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
George H. W. Bush goes baseline and scores! The political storm prepared them for this moment!
The crowd gasps at LaSirena69's move! Agility worthy of a tv host!
George H. W. Bush, this basketball god, picks up the fallen teammate! Pure God-given talent beyond the stats!
LaSirena69 dishes with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
George H. W. Bush clocks out from the palace of hoops! End of the their diplomatic pouch shift!
Sophie Dee grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Franklin Delano Roosevelt applauds. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
92-110 (L)
George H. W. Bush checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this towering presence, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Injury-prone body!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt charges right into the defender! Turnover! Occasional mental lapses when controlling pace!
George H. W. Bush, this smooth operator, gets exploited in the switch! Tendency to force bad shots exposed in the mismatch!
Sophie Dee fires away the leather with flair and hits a devastating dunk! Sensational!
Break! Sophie Dee has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Juicy intel: Sophie Dee turned down an endorsement deal because she'd have to wear a mascot costume. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
George H. W. Bush, this solid build, sits down hard on the bench! Tendency to force bad shots written all over his face!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar dunks the orange into nothing! Injury-prone body on full display tonight!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar explodes into the right spacing! Pure God-given talent and elite court awareness!
George H. W. Bush is running on fumes! The statesperson tank is completely empty!
LaSirena69 absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a tv host knows tough days!
George H. W. Bush collapses into the first available chair. Franklin Delano Roosevelt stays standing, eyes glazed over. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
97-108 (L)
LaSirena69 crosses over with energy from the opening whistle! This dark horse locked in!
Sophie Dee clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their bare hands hitting the game!
LaSirena69 coughs up the orange! Occasional mental lapses strikes again under the basket!
LaSirena69 gives up the back door! Tendency to force bad shots when overplaying!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, this global icon, exploits the mismatch for an and-one! Too easy!
Break time. Franklin Delano Roosevelt bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know Franklin Delano Roosevelt once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, this smooth operator, waves off the play call! Occasional mental lapses hurting the team!
LaSirena69 can't connect! Their bare hands in hand, sure. The orange through the hoop, nope!
George H. W. Bush, this franchise cornerstone, orchestrates the delay game! Freakish explosiveness in action!
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, this oversized freak, laboring up and down! Injury-prone body draining the energy!
This player nobody saw coming LaSirena69 congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this player nobody saw coming.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. George H. W. Bush has aged ten years in forty minutes. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Team dominate ends the season #7 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Season Journal
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Team dominate!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Standing at 218 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it.
And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed LaSirena69. The woman. Is. A tv host. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A tv host. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This girl jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at her back. But she's got bare hands and apparently, the technical motion of a tv host and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach.
Financially, we're in no man's land. Not poor, not rich. The kind of team that eyes the trade deadline with longing but knows it can only afford the appetizer, not the full meal. They've built a solid core through smart Draft picks and savvy free agent signings, but don't ask them to compete with the big dogs. Their weapon? Chemistry. And a coach who turns lead into gold. Well, bronze. Okay, silver on a good day.
Team dominate ends the season #7 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
.jpg?width=300&width=400)
