MVP ā basketball_team šŗšø
5 members Ā· TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | MVP | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. Ladies and gentlemen... MVP! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Michael Jordan. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 198 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Aragorn. A military leader in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles battle standard better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Aragorn has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat war front and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
Matchday 1 ā vs Detroit Engine-Roar
105-110 (L)
Aragorn launches with energy from the opening whistle! This guy everybody knows locked in!
Stephen Curry dishes to the rack for a buzzer-beater! Can't contain this solid build!
This elite player Nikola JokiÄ caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Michael Jordan explodes but the shot rims out! Tendency to force bad shots rears its ugly head!
This headliner Stephen Curry ignites the rally! The deficit is shrinking!
Back in the locker room, Josh Allen sits down and stares at the ceiling. Little scoop: Josh Allen tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Nikola JokiÄ explodes and bricks it! Ego the size of Texas in the second quarter!
Josh Allen gets a technical for complaining! Lack of consistency on full display!
What a journey for Nikola JokiÄ! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
Aragorn gets stripped in late in the quarter! That's gonna be a costly turnover!
Michael Jordan, this potential GOAT, takes the loss hard. Defense that's basically a suggestion at the wrong moments.
Aragorn walks toward the tunnel without a word. Nikola JokiÄ stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 2 ā vs Miami Heart-Attack
134-89 (W)
This reliable star Aragorn comes out firing! A double-clutch layup in the first minute!
Josh Allen blows past the basketball beautifully for a devastating dunk! What touch!
This reliable star Aragorn with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Stephen Curry goes coast to coast for a thunderous slam! This world-class player is relentless!
Michael Jordan, this hall-of-fame lock, shuts down the play at the top of the key! Lockdown defender!
Break! Stephen Curry has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Intel: Stephen Curry asked Miami Heart-Attack for their energy drink recipe. They refused. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Aragorn with a layup! The finesse of the battle standard right there on the venue!
This player making noise Josh Allen shows no sympathy! A finger roll extends the massacre!
This hooper's hooper Josh Allen tries the no-look and passes to the camera crew!
Stephen Curry fires away and celebrates! A victory dance at half court! The crowd erupts!
Nikola JokiÄ, this oversized freak, takes the final bow! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! Dominant display!
Nikola JokiÄ charges toward the crowd. Aragorn catches him just before he dives into the stands. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 3 ā vs Orlando Magic-Beans
122-102 (W)
And we're underway! Aragorn touches the orange first! This established star looks eager!
A scoop layup from Aragorn! This established star just keeps delivering!
This global icon Michael Jordan anchors the defense from the left corner! Nothing gets through!
Michael Jordan with the touch pass! This living legend barely had the basketball and found the man!
Josh Allen spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
That's a wrap for now. Aragorn dives into the tunnel. Word is Aragorn sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. We're back! The players look fired up.
Michael Jordan with the highlight-reel fadeaway jumper! This first-ballot legend owning the moment!
Standing ovation for Aragorn! The hardwood salutes the military leader and their battle standard!
Josh Allen, this long boy, repositions on defense! Iron discipline collective effort!
Josh Allen, this colossus, stands tall when the team needs this player making noise most!
Aragorn delivers in this regular-season contest! The military leader shows up with the battle standard!
Aragorn and Nikola JokiÄ swing Michael Jordan around by his arms like a carousel. He looks sick. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 4 ā vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
124-88 (W)
Stephen Curry crosses over onto the floor! The crowd roars for this jersey-selling name!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, dominates off the pick and roll and puts up a catch-and-shoot triple! Unstoppable!
This top-tier talent Nikola JokiÄ creates for others! Unselfish play with pure God-given talent!
Stephen Curry scores at will! A double-clutch layup from the left corner! This top-tier talent domination!
This guy everybody knows Aragorn with a brilliant anticipation from downtown! Intimidating!
Intermission. Michael Jordan dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Quick anecdote about Michael Jordan: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Stephen Curry, this headliner, absolutely nails a double-clutch layup in transition! Take a bow!
Aragorn showboats with a raised fist! Even the war front gets a rest in blowouts!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry sits on the pill during the timeout! Making themselves at home!
Nikola JokiÄ, this tower, does the shimmy! A victory dance! The arena goes crazy!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan secures the win with an off-the-charts basketball IQ! Another one in the bag!
Stephen Curry jumps into Michael Jordan's arms without warning. They both go down. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 5 ā vs Phoenix No-Defense
106-89 (W)
Josh Allen posts up into position! This well-respected player not wasting any time!
Michael Jordan converts facing the rim! A pull-up jumper with trademark night-in night-out consistency!
Aragorn, this combo guard, smothers the ball-handler! No options!
Nikola JokiÄ, this towering presence, hits the cutter perfectly! Natural-born leadership right on time!
Josh Allen, this up-and-coming baller, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Natural-born leadership!
Well-deserved break. Nikola JokiÄ looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Little scoop: Nikola JokiÄ logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Michael Jordan scores with a killer instinct. A buzzer-beater in transition! Too smooth!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry turns the hostile crowd into stunned silence!
Stephen Curry drives the outlet to the young player! This world-class player building the future!
Nikola JokiÄ, this absolute unit, evolves before our eyes! A career-defining moment!
Michael Jordan, this titan, celebrates the win! A fist pump toward the bench! What a game!
Michael Jordan does the floss while Josh Allen spins like a top. Nikola JokiÄ just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 6 ā vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
102-98 (W)
Michael Jordan, this household name, draws first blood! A finger roll to start!
Josh Allen deflects the pass and starts the break! This up-and-coming baller defense to offense!
Stephen Curry attacks the rock right into the defender's hands! Occasional mental lapses!
Michael Jordan, this long boy, takes over from the right corner. A euro-step! That's elite!
This player on the come-up Josh Allen recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Nikola JokiÄ picks up the pace. Did you know? Nikola JokiÄ launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Aragorn hits from deep on the final possession! Long-range the battle standard strikes again!
Nikola JokiÄ strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
The crowd is on its feet! A sold-out gym on fire as Josh Allen takes the court!
Stephen Curry with the dagger layup! This elite player buries the opposition!
This player making noise Josh Allen thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
Michael Jordan cries tears of joy in Nikola JokiÄ's arms. Josh Allen is also crying but nobody knows why. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 7 ā vs Toronto Border-Patrol
101-92 (W)
This dude putting the league on notice Josh Allen gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Aragorn adds to the total! A military leader who always exceeds expectations!
Stephen Curry anticipates the cut and deflects the pill! This bonafide star reading minds!
Josh Allen with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
This world-class player Nikola JokiÄ adjusts the angle mid-drive! An off-the-charts basketball IQ body control!
Back in the locker room, Nikola JokiÄ sits down and stares at the ceiling. Bus driver's confession: Nikola JokiÄ raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Josh Allen pulls up and drills a hook shot! Can't teach that!
Listen to that roar! Stephen Curry explodes and the place explodes!
Michael Jordan lets fly the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
Aragorn brings blue-collar the battle standard grit to the arena!
This top-tier talent Nikola JokiÄ seals the deal! Victory with next-level basketball IQ!
Stephen Curry and Josh Allen slap each other's butts. Michael Jordan declines the invitation. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 8 ā vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
92-103 (L)
This top-tier talent Nikola JokiÄ comes out aggressive! Opens with an and-one from mid-range!
Nikola JokiÄ, this giant, loses the handle and the opportunity! Hot head!
Aragorn loses possession! The war front never leaves a military leader's hands like that!
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry gives up the offensive rebound! Shaky emotions under pressure when boxing out!
Nikola JokiÄ attacks the Spalding with natural-born leadership. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
That's a cut. Aragorn stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Did you know Aragorn entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Josh Allen slams the ball in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
Stephen Curry, this headliner, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Stephen Curry crosses over to the weak side! This All-Star caliber talent exploiting the rotation!
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, with tired legs at the buzzer! Defense that's basically a suggestion slowing this jersey-selling name down!
Nikola JokiÄ dribbles to the tunnel in disappointment. This jersey-selling name will learn from this.
Aragorn looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Michael Jordan looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 9 ā vs Houston Blast-Off
106-89 (W)
The game begins and Michael Jordan is ready! You can see pure God-given talent written all over his face!
A buzzer-beater from Michael Jordan! That's silky smooth technique at the highest level!
Nikola JokiÄ, this titan, swats it into the third row! A defensive rebound!
Josh Allen attacks and finds the trailer for a scoop layup! Great awareness!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Aragorn to massage his thighs. Did you know? Aragorn launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
A bucket by Josh Allen! The crowd erupts! A gym-rat work ethic personified!
Josh Allen, this towering presence, commands a hostile crowd! The arena belongs to this player making noise!
Stephen Curry celebrates the team's success! This headliner knows together is better!
Aragorn plays for every military leader who ever picked up the leather after the war front!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, salutes the faithful! A fist pump toward the bench! What a night!
Stephen Curry charges toward the crowd. Michael Jordan catches him just before he dives into the stands. I learned backstage that Michael Jordan also does military leader on weekends. That explains those reflexes. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 10 ā vs Denver Horse-Track
116-89 (W)
Nikola JokiÄ, this titan, sets the tone immediately! Night-in night-out consistency from the jump!
Josh Allen attacks from the left corner and finishes with a bank shot! Too good!
Nikola JokiÄ, this colossus, contests without fouling! Clean as a whistle!
Nikola JokiÄ crosses over into the lane and kicks out! A killer instinct and great decision-making!
This global icon Michael Jordan calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Halftime. Nikola JokiÄ glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Anecdote: Nikola JokiÄ threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry does it again! A buzzer-beater with effortless precision!
Aragorn, this combo guard, gets the standing ovation! A boiling cauldron!
Michael Jordan sprints back on defense! This generational talent leading by example!
Michael Jordan is writing the story tonight! This certified GOAT candidate with a scoop layup driving to the hoop!
This established star Nikola JokiÄ led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Stephen Curry and Nikola JokiÄ freestyle a victory rap. Michael Jordan does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 11 ā vs New York Over-Timers
116-90 (W)
Nikola JokiÄ takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Nikola JokiÄ, this certified bucket, drops a buzzer-beater off the pick and roll! Pure artistry!
Aragorn anchors the defense! Solid as a military leader's foundation!
Michael Jordan, this living legend, surveys and delivers! Scary good handles in the playmaking!
This player making noise Josh Allen uses the floater over this big fella coverage! Smart!
Off to the locker room. Michael Jordan has already drained two water bottles. Fun fact: Michael Jordan was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Michael Jordan, this big fella, muscles in for a finger roll! Pure power!
Josh Allen in an incredible energy! This name that's buzzing has been waiting for this stage!
This established star Aragorn celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Aragorn plays like they have something to prove to every military leader watching!
Stephen Curry hugs the coach! This headliner with a complete performance!
Aragorn gives his headband to a kid in the crowd. Josh Allen gives his shoes. Nikola JokiÄ gives his water bottle. The kid is overwhelmed. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 12 ā vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
95-111 (L)
Nikola JokiÄ, this reliable star, embraces the palpable tension! Game on!
Josh Allen, this mammoth, gets stuffed trying a pull-up jumper! Denied!
Josh Allen drives carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Aragorn scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Aragorn drains a bucket from under the basket! Textbook nerves of steel!
The players disappear. Aragorn has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: Aragorn lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Aragorn buries their face! Hidden from view, the military leader can't watch!
Aragorn shoots an air ball in palpable tension! A military leader lost in the noise!
Josh Allen, this guy with a proven track record, manages the clock beautifully in crunch time!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry is a warrior but the body says no! This ball game of war!
Nikola JokiÄ had the chances but couldn't convert. This bonafide star left wanting.
Stephen Curry lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Aragorn holds his in. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 13 ā vs Boston Ring-Chasers
117-104 (W)
Stephen Curry opens with a euro-step! This established star making an early statement!
Michael Jordan, this basketball god, operates back to the basket with an off-balance shot! Clinic!
Aragorn forces the turnover! Pressuring like rallying the war front under deadline!
This headliner Stephen Curry zips the pass through! Another dime from this do-it-all player!
Michael Jordan reads the defense perfectly! Eyes in the back of the head and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Break. Josh Allen's socks are soaking wet ā quick change on the spot. Anecdote: Josh Allen fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Aragorn scores the go-ahead! A military leader who always finishes the job on time!
Michael Jordan soaks in a roaring arena! This franchise cornerstone living for these moments!
Michael Jordan spins the ball into the right hands! This generational talent quarterback!
Michael Jordan, this oversized freak, sets the tone with night-in night-out consistency! Leader!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, acknowledges the fans! A Playoff atmosphere! A bench mob celebration!
Aragorn and Nikola JokiÄ leap onto each other like kids. Josh Allen comes sprinting in and crushes them both. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 14 ā vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
108-100 (W)
Aragorn fires up the crowd to open the game! This guy everybody knows starting strong!
Nikola JokiÄ, this towering presence, uses every inch to deliver a hook shot!
Aragorn locks down the left wing! Fortified with the battle standard!
Aragorn with the no-look pass! Rallying the war front blindfolded!
Nikola JokiÄ, this bonafide star, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Break! Stephen Curry rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Small detail: Stephen Curry whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Stephen Curry launches the Spalding with flair and hits a free throw! Sensational!
The building is buzzing! Nikola JokiÄ and a Playoff atmosphere creating magic!
This player on the come-up Josh Allen dives for the loose ball! Eyes in the back of the head on every play!
Josh Allen, this legit talent, has been building to this all game! In the money time!
Michael Jordan, this first-ballot legend, high-fives the bench! A finger to the lips to hush the crowd! Team effort!
Josh Allen and Nikola JokiÄ play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Josh Allen loses. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 15 ā vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
87-114 (L)
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry means business! Fast start driving to the hoop!
Aragorn shanks it from the top of the key! Rallying the war front uses different muscles!
This jersey-selling name Aragorn commits the 5-second violation! Clock management limited stamina!
Nikola JokiÄ, this long boy, lets the shooter get free from the right corner! Costly lapse!
Josh Allen answers back with an off-balance shot! Eyes in the back of the head under pressure!
Break! Michael Jordan grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Anecdote: Michael Jordan slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
This bonafide star Aragorn stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
This max-contract guy Nikola JokiÄ misses the mark! An off-balance shot goes begging in the paint!
Aragorn finds the angle! The angle military leader uses for the war front!
Aragorn lets fly a step slower than usual! Heavy feet in the tank!
Aragorn looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a military leader!
Nikola JokiÄ closes his eyes walking out. Aragorn keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
MVP finishes #3, a fantastic season! 11W-4L. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
Season Journal
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. Ladies and gentlemen... MVP!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Michael Jordan. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 198 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Aragorn. A military leader in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles battle standard better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Aragorn has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat war front and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
MVP finishes #3, a fantastic season! 11W-4L. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
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