67 — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | 67 | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. Ladies and gentlemen... 67! The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. Victor Wembanyama. The man. The beast. Standing at 224 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight. And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Iron Man. The man. Is. A superhero. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A superhero. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got bare hands and apparently, the technical motion of a superhero and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
90-117 (L)
Victor Wembanyama, this up-and-coming baller, draws first blood! A pull-up jumper to start!
Iron Man sends it wide! Their bare hands wouldn't forgive that either!
Steve Rogers charges right into the defender! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure when controlling pace!
Victor Wembanyama reacts too late to rotate! Defense that's basically a suggestion on the help side!
This hall-of-fame lock Michael Jordan with a picture-perfect off-balance shot! The crowd goes wild!
The players leave the court. Steve Rogers clings to the tunnel railing. Confession: Steve Rogers believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Victor Wembanyama mutters to himself walking back! This solid pro fighting inner demons!
Steve Rogers, this do-it-all player, wastes a golden chance with a wild deep three!
Hulk penetrates the ball out of the trap! A gym-rat work ethic under pressure!
Iron Man finds a second wind! The superhero engine roars back to life!
Hulk consoles teammates! The heart of a scientist in that moment!
Victor Wembanyama hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Hulk keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
110-84 (W)
Steve Rogers looks dialed in from the start! Unreal swagger preparation showing!
Victor Wembanyama fades away and it's an and-one! This seasoned vet proving the doubters wrong!
Victor Wembanyama deflects the pass and starts the break! This player making noise defense to offense!
This dude out of nowhere Steve Rogers with the one-handed bullet pass! Right on the money!
Michael Jordan reads the defense perfectly! Unreal swagger and a sky-high basketball IQ!
The players disappear. Victor Wembanyama has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Exclusive info: Victor Wembanyama is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Hulk nails a fadeaway jumper from deep! Range like their lab notebook reaching across the workshop!
This solid pro Victor Wembanyama brings an electric crowd to a new level! Incredible scene!
Iron Man, this generational talent, rotates on defense! Pure God-given talent team commitment!
Iron Man overcomes the early struggles! This living legend rising like a phoenix!
Iron Man hangs up the shorts! Calling it a night, the superhero is done!
Steve Rogers and Michael Jordan attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. Hulk films the whole thing. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
112-106 (W)
Victor Wembanyama fires up the crowd to open the game! This solid pro starting strong!
Iron Man, this franchise cornerstone, threads the needle for a buzzer-beater on the low block!
This dude putting the league on notice Victor Wembanyama with the no-foul contest back to the basket! Clean as a whistle!
Iron Man reads the defense like a book! Assist from the left corner! Night-in night-out consistency!
This basketball god Iron Man runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Halftime! Michael Jordan walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Little scoop: Michael Jordan tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Hulk scores a two-handed slam! Their lab notebook by day, buckets by night!
This all-time great Michael Jordan silences the hostile crowd! Immense pressure shifts!
Michael Jordan fades away the outlet to the young player! This basketball god building the future!
The crowd chants for Iron Man! The superhero who became a legend at the gymnasium!
That's the game! Hulk finishes with a monster performance! This global icon victorious!
Hulk does a belly slide on the court. Michael Jordan does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
95-100 (L)
Iron Man launches with energy from the opening whistle! This franchise cornerstone locked in!
Hulk clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their lab notebook hitting the hidden truth!
Victor Wembanyama crosses over into a trap! Limited stamina when reading the defense!
Michael Jordan gets burned on the drive! Ego the size of Texas in lateral movement!
Steve Rogers drains a sky hook in the paint! Textbook iron discipline!
Into the tunnel. Victor Wembanyama grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Little secret: Victor Wembanyama listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Victor Wembanyama slams the orange in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
Victor Wembanyama blows past the rock right into the defender's hands! Sometimes predictable game!
Hulk communicates the switch! Clear as a scientist's instructions!
This global icon Iron Man can't close out! The legs are shot under the basket!
This next-level player Victor Wembanyama shakes hands and moves on. In the end, occasional mental lapses proved costly.
Steve Rogers watches the crowd file out in silence. Victor Wembanyama prefers not to look. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
105-113 (L)
Hulk, this solid build, takes the court! The Playoff atmosphere is electric!
Iron Man launches and misses! The pill isn't the game, and it shows!
Victor Wembanyama, this colossus, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted under the basket!
Michael Jordan gets crossed over! This living legend left frozen facing the rim!
Michael Jordan scores with iron discipline. A buzzer-beater facing the rim! Too smooth!
That's a cut. Victor Wembanyama stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Word is Victor Wembanyama sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Hulk slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a scientist hits the workbench!
This global icon Hulk with a rare miss back to the basket! Even the best stumble!
Steve Rogers, this versatile guy, sets a brick-wall screen! An unmatched feel for the game on full display!
Michael Jordan is gassed! This first-ballot legend bent over at half court! Hot head catching up!
This hooper's hooper Victor Wembanyama congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this hooper's hooper.
Iron Man punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Michael Jordan slides down the wall to the floor. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
104-109 (L)
Hulk takes the court to a standing ovation! The scientist with their lab notebook is here!
Steve Rogers, this solid build, rises above and hammers a floater!
Iron Man gives up the easy bucket! Easier than competing the game!
Hulk can't score in the first half! This scientist is way off tonight!
Victor Wembanyama sparks the comeback! A scoop layup from the left corner! This player making noise leads the charge!
Break! Victor Wembanyama grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Intel: Victor Wembanyama asked Los Angeles Nursing-Home for their energy drink recipe. They refused. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
Hulk forces the hero ball and misses! This franchise cornerstone with hot head!
Victor Wembanyama, this colossus, shows negative body language! Hot head creeping in!
Steve Rogers rises up with conviction! This dude out of nowhere believes tonight is the night!
Iron Man throws it away with the game on the line! Shaky emotions under pressure!
This living legend Michael Jordan leaves the temple of basketball with head held high. Fought to the end.
Victor Wembanyama and Hulk walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
115-109 (W)
Iron Man takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Steve Rogers, this tweener, glides on the low block for a silky free throw!
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
Steve Rogers, this all-around player, finds the rolling big man! A layup off the assist!
Iron Man steps back with purpose every possession! This franchise cornerstone chess master!
Finally a breather. Steve Rogers has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Anecdote: Steve Rogers once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Iron Man rises and fires! Competing the game never felt this athletic!
A hostile crowd as Victor Wembanyama, this big fella, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Steve Rogers finds the open teammate! This guy nobody was talking about making everyone better!
Steve Rogers fades away with purpose! A gym-rat work ethic driving this team forward!
Hulk salutes the fans! A scientist's farewell until the next hidden truth!
Michael Jordan and Victor Wembanyama share a 30-second hug. Hulk wants in. Gets pushed away. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
101-99 (W)
The game begins and Michael Jordan is ready! You can see ridiculous creativity written all over his face!
Michael Jordan, this oversized freak, contests everything from downtown! Nerves of steel on full display!
Michael Jordan fades away the rock into nothing! Limited stamina on full display tonight!
Hulk with the smooth euro-step! This living legend making it look easy!
This dark horse Steve Rogers adjusts the angle mid-drive! A gym-rat work ethic body control!
Time to breathe. Iron Man has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Small detail: Iron Man whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Hulk blows past for the game-tying deep three! Right from the tip-off! Unbelievable!
Steve Rogers, this solid build, swats it into the third row! A ball recovery!
You can feel a standing ovation through the screen! Iron Man in the spotlight!
Victor Wembanyama converts in traffic during the first half! A reverse layup! Iron discipline!
Hulk, this basketball god, soaks in the moment! Victory back to the basket! A bench mob celebration!
Hulk and Iron Man pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
111-113 (L)
Tip-off! Victor Wembanyama gets us started! Let's go!
Victor Wembanyama pulls up and drills a buzzer-beater! Can't teach that!
Victor Wembanyama lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this well-respected player fooled!
Michael Jordan rushes a devastating dunk off the pick and roll! Defense that's basically a suggestion creeping in!
Michael Jordan converts the and-one! A free throw! This hall-of-fame lock won't go quietly!
The players head to the locker room. Victor Wembanyama is sweating like a racehorse. Rumor has it Victor Wembanyama does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Iron Man shoots and slips! Turnover in the second half! Tendency to force bad shots!
Michael Jordan drops the head after another miss! Tendency to rush sapping the confidence!
The transformation of Iron Man is complete! This first-ballot legend has arrived!
This player making noise Victor Wembanyama gets called for the charge at the last second! Brutal!
Hulk leaves the floor quietly! Quiet as a scientist after the hidden truth setback!
Victor Wembanyama lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Steve Rogers holds his in. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
103-88 (W)
Hulk lands the first two-handed slam! First blood! The scientist strikes first!
A fadeaway jumper from Steve Rogers in the paint! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Michael Jordan with the huge defensive rebound driving to the hoop! This certified GOAT candidate says no!
Hulk, this versatile guy, drops the dime! Unreal swagger passing on display!
Hulk finds the angle! The angle scientist uses for the hidden truth!
Finally a breather. Victor Wembanyama has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Did you know Victor Wembanyama knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Denver Horse-Track's colors. By accident, obviously. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Iron Man lets fly with the precision of a superhero at work. And it's a half-court heave!
Deafening noise! Steve Rogers posts up and the building shakes!
This legit talent Victor Wembanyama runs the Wilson patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
The legend of Michael Jordan grows! This first-ballot legend adding another chapter from downtown!
Hulk tallied double figures! Double the hidden truth, double the glory!
Iron Man and Hulk do the conga. Alone. On an empty court. Nobody joins in. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
114-105 (W)
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan comes out firing! A buzzer beater in the first minute!
Steve Rogers, this rising star, reads the play perfectly and delivers a free throw!
Victor Wembanyama jumps into the passing lane! A crucial offensive board! Huge play!
Victor Wembanyama threads the needle! Beautiful assist from the right corner! Unreal court vision!
Steve Rogers, this swiss-army-knife type, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Time to breathe. Hulk has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Staff confession: Hulk is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Iron Man floats one in driving to the hoop! Delicate as a superhero with their bare hands!
Steve Rogers in a Finals-like atmosphere! This diamond in the rough has been waiting for this stage!
Steve Rogers sprints back on defense! This hungry young player leading by example!
Hulk posts up with elegance and power! This once-in-a-lifetime player is the complete package!
Steve Rogers, this solid build, salutes the faithful! A fist pump toward the bench! What a night!
Hulk and Iron Man stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. I learned that Hulk's father was a volunteer firefighter. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
96-122 (L)
Hulk checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
This guy nobody was talking about Steve Rogers whiffs on a two-handed slam! The crowd groans!
Steve Rogers drives into a dead end in the paint! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Michael Jordan gives up the back door! Occasional mental lapses when overplaying!
Steve Rogers strings together a tear drop in the paint. Pure God-given talent on full display!
End of the second quarter. Steve Rogers is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Anecdote: Steve Rogers once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Iron Man stares in disbelief! The look of a superhero who just lost everything!
Victor Wembanyama can't buy a bucket! Another miss at the top of the key! Frustrating!
Michael Jordan sets the screen at the perfect angle! This basketball god cerebral play!
This name that's buzzing Victor Wembanyama can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Victor Wembanyama dishes past the media. This player making noise not in the mood to talk.
Steve Rogers presses his forehead against the tunnel glass. Michael Jordan walks right past without noticing. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
93-107 (L)
Hulk begins their shift on the palace of hoops! A scientist starting the their lab notebook shift!
Michael Jordan fires a finger roll back to the basket but can't connect! Hot head showing!
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, commits the travel! Occasional mental lapses in the footwork!
Victor Wembanyama overcommits and gets beat! Tendency to rush when reading the play!
Steve Rogers converts a tough pull-up jumper from way beyond the arc! Skill level: elite!
Break. Michael Jordan collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Did you know Michael Jordan entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Michael Jordan, this giant, sits down hard on the bench! Shaky emotions under pressure written all over his face!
Victor Wembanyama forces up a layup over the defense! Sometimes predictable game! Bad decision!
Iron Man with the perfect cut! Precision of a superhero with their bare hands!
Hulk mops their face! Sweating more than when discoverring the hidden truth!
Victor Wembanyama walks off in silence. This solid pro gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Steve Rogers chews his nails on the bench. Hulk stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
108-112 (L)
This seasoned vet Victor Wembanyama comes out aggressive! Opens with a free throw from mid-range!
Victor Wembanyama, this league veteran, unleashes a reverse layup in the paint! Bang!
Iron Man overcommits! Going all-in like a superhero on the game, but wrong!
Steve Rogers, this solid build, gets stuffed trying a pull-up jumper! Denied!
This household name Iron Man refuses to accept defeat! A reverse layup keeps hope alive!
Break! Steve Rogers rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Fun fact: Steve Rogers tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Michael Jordan misses in the clutch! A double-clutch layup off the mark in the first half!
Iron Man walks away muttering! Muttering about the game under their breath!
The narrative shifts! Victor Wembanyama takes control with an off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Iron Man, this low-to-the-ground speedster, forces a bad shot in the fourth quarter! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Hulk gave it everything! Everything a scientist has, left on the court!
Victor Wembanyama mutters 'damn' under his breath. Steve Rogers says 'yeah' in the same tone. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Steve Rogers. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
95-128 (L)
Michael Jordan explodes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this absolute legend!
Victor Wembanyama, this tree of a man, bobbles the pill and the chance evaporates from way beyond the arc!
Hulk loses the Spalding in traffic! This all-time great can't afford that!
Hulk caught flat-footed! Standing still, the scientist reflexes took a nap!
A pull-up jumper from Victor Wembanyama! This up-and-coming baller reminding everyone why they're on top!
Halftime whistle. Michael Jordan spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Juicy anecdote: Michael Jordan was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
This hidden prospect Steve Rogers can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Victor Wembanyama launches but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Iron Man, this absolute legend, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for an and-one!
Hulk is clearly fatigued! The 48 regulation minutes of this plus the 48 regulation minutes of discoverring the hidden truth!
Iron Man reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
Victor Wembanyama taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Michael Jordan walks through the door without pushing it. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
67 ends the season #9 with a 6W-9L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season Journal
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. Ladies and gentlemen... 67!
The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. Victor Wembanyama. The man. The beast. Standing at 224 cm, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight.
And the most terrifying thing about him? It's not the stats, it's not the size, it's the calm. You know that moment where the arena is on its feet, the clock is ticking down the final seconds, sweat is pouring... And he's just chewing his gum like he's waiting for the bus? Then he loads up. And drains it. Stone cold. In front of 20,000 people on the verge of cardiac arrest. That's what a franchise player is: the guy who carries everyone on his shoulders and still makes it look easy.
And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Iron Man. The man. Is. A superhero. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A superhero. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got bare hands and apparently, the technical motion of a superhero and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach.
The budget? It's "here, take my credit card and go nuts." The owner is a damn billionaire who wants a championship ring the way other people want a yacht. Every position is doubled up, every role player is a former All-Star, and the bench is so deep that the twelfth man on this team would start for half the league. It's an armada, a war machine, and everyone in this building knows that if these guys don't win the title, it's a goddamn scandal.
67 ends the season #9 with a 6W-9L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
.jpg?width=300&width=400)
