My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | My Team | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Bam Adebayo on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 208 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Goku. The man is a farmer. A freaking farmer. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with seed dibber and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
117-105 (W)
Goku bounces the damn ball pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
A bank shot from Bam Adebayo! That's eyes in the back of the head at the highest level!
Monkey D. Luffy with a defensive rebound to save the possession! Their ship's wheel to the rescue!
Goku shovels the pass! Moving the damn ball with the seed dibber efficiency!
Satoru Gojo spaces the floor perfectly! Great read of the system!
Halftime! Satoru Gojo looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Little scoop: Satoru Gojo tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
What a shot from Goku! A farmer bringing the seed dibber energy to the venue!
The energy in this building is unreal! Bam Adebayo channeling a Playoff atmosphere!
Satoru Gojo makes the extra pass! This surprise package hockey assist for an and-one!
Goku's hands tell two stories,the seed dibber by day, the Wilson by night!
Satoru Gojo is named player of the game! The school teacher is also the star!
Bam Adebayo grabs the PA announcer's mic and shouts Kevin Durant's name. The announcer chases him. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
109-97 (W)
This jersey-selling name Kevin Durant comes out aggressive! Opens with a hook shot from mid-range!
This franchise guy Goku with a vintage buzzer-beater! The old magic is still there!
Kevin Durant, this max-contract guy, walls up at half court! Impenetrable defense!
Goku sets up the easy score! Easy as a farmer setting up the seed dibber!
This guy nobody was talking about Satoru Gojo uses the floater over this swiss-army-knife type coverage! Smart!
Halftime whistle. Satoru Gojo has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. True story: Satoru Gojo walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Miami Heart-Attack. Awkward. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Monkey D. Luffy strings together a pull-up jumper from the right corner. Night-in night-out consistency on full display!
Post-game fireworks for Satoru Gojo! Brighter than their chalk stick on a perfect day!
This big-name player Kevin Durant dives for the loose ball! Natural-born leadership on every play!
This world-class player Kevin Durant plays every possession like the last! Unreal swagger burning bright!
This top-tier talent Kevin Durant thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
Monkey D. Luffy and Satoru Gojo lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
107-101 (W)
This dude putting the league on notice Monkey D. Luffy opens the scoring! A buzzer-beater! Early advantage!
Satoru Gojo with the step-back tear drop! Creating space like a school teacher with their chalk stick!
This up-and-coming baller Bam Adebayo with the volleyball spike a flawless defensive rotation! Emphatic!
Bam Adebayo quarter-backs the possession! Assist for a floater! What a pass!
Satoru Gojo manages the clock! Time management of a school teacher who never misses a deadline!
Cut! Halftime. Bam Adebayo's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Little scoop: Bam Adebayo tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Satoru Gojo handles the leather like their chalk stick. A hook shot along the baseline! The precision of a school teacher!
This big-name player Kevin Durant gets the crowd into it! Palpable tension at fever pitch!
Bam Adebayo puts ego aside! The team comes first for this established player!
Satoru Gojo, this do-it-all player, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this total unknown right now!
Goku closes the show! Curtain call for the farmer with the stubborn soil!
Bam Adebayo and Monkey D. Luffy do the conga. Alone. On an empty court. Nobody joins in. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
98-115 (L)
This elite player Kevin Durant in the starting lineup! Let's see what this elite player brings!
This guy everybody knows Kevin Durant misses the mark! A sky hook goes begging from the right corner!
Satoru Gojo with the careless pass! Teaching the eager class with more care, please!
Kevin Durant falls asleep on the weak side! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
Monkey D. Luffy with the teardrop alley-oop! Beautiful as a ship captain's finest the ocean vessel!
Halftime! Monkey D. Luffy looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Intel: Monkey D. Luffy once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Satoru Gojo walks away muttering! Muttering about the eager class under their breath!
Bam Adebayo explodes the orange into the front rim! That's frustrating for this league veteran!
Goku counters the press! Problem solved, farmer style!
This name that's buzzing Monkey D. Luffy has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Monkey D. Luffy consoles teammates! The heart of a ship captain in that moment!
Goku bites the inside of his cheek. Kevin Durant pinches the bridge of his nose. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
100-111 (L)
Satoru Gojo, this potential breakout star, embraces the sold-out gym on fire! Game on!
Kevin Durant, this certified bucket, comes up empty! A free throw off target under the basket!
Kevin Durant coughs up the basketball! Defense that's basically a suggestion strikes again from way beyond the arc!
Satoru Gojo turns the head and loses the man! This guy nobody was talking about napping defensively!
This guy everybody knows Goku does it again! A buzzer-beater with effortless precision!
Both teams head in. Goku has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Did you know? Goku has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Satoru Gojo looks to the heavens! A school teacher praying for their chalk stick to work!
Satoru Gojo denied by the basket! Even a school teacher can't pry it open!
This player on the come-up Monkey D. Luffy calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Bam Adebayo asks for the ball to slow the pace! This seasoned vet needs air!
Satoru Gojo sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a school teacher after their chalk stick broke!
Goku mutters while walking out. Monkey D. Luffy watches from the corner of his eye, worried. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
95-96 (L)
Monkey D. Luffy stretches center court! Loosening up, the ship captain is getting ready!
Bam Adebayo, this beanpole, with a silky deep three at the top of the key! Smooth operator!
This bonafide star Kevin Durant gives up the offensive rebound! Injury-prone body when boxing out!
Kevin Durant, this titan, gets the separation but can't finish! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Bam Adebayo sparks the comeback! A devastating dunk driving to the hoop! This well-respected player leads the charge!
Halftime whistle. Kevin Durant spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Fun fact: Kevin Durant is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Goku misfires on the potential dagger! This top-tier talent lets them off the hook!
Satoru Gojo, this dude out of nowhere, barks at the teammate! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
This will be talked about for years! Goku with a buzzer-beater! Iconic!
Satoru Gojo fouls at the worst time! A school teacher tripping over the eager class!
This hungry young player Satoru Gojo shakes hands and moves on. In the end, sometimes predictable game proved costly.
Goku mutters while walking out. Bam Adebayo watches from the corner of his eye, worried. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
116-96 (W)
Kevin Durant looks dialed in from the start! That dawg mentality preparation showing!
Goku explodes the Spalding with purpose! A sky hook! This headliner means business!
Monkey D. Luffy hounds the ball handler! Tenacious as a ship captain with their ship's wheel!
This rising star Satoru Gojo leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
Bam Adebayo, this titan, exploits the mismatch driving to the hoop! Smart play!
Back to the locker room. Monkey D. Luffy's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Word is Monkey D. Luffy sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Bam Adebayo, this 7-footer, glides to under the basket for a silky buzzer beater!
Listen to that roar! Monkey D. Luffy attacks and the place explodes!
Satoru Gojo communicates on the switch! Clear as a school teacher's directions!
Monkey D. Luffy is writing the story tonight! This seasoned vet with a pull-up jumper in transition!
Kevin Durant drives the trophy! This top-tier talent adds to the collection! A salute to the fans!
Bam Adebayo points both hands at the sky. Kevin Durant points at Bam Adebayo. Goku points at the exit. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
116-84 (W)
Goku takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Goku cuts and scores! Sharp as the seed dibber, this farmer!
Kevin Durant, this headliner, manipulates the defense and drops the dime! Nerves of steel!
Goku finishes through contact! Built tough from handling the seed dibber!
This name that's buzzing Monkey D. Luffy holds ground on the low block! Immovable object!
Halftime whistle! Bam Adebayo slides down against the hallway wall. Intel: Bam Adebayo asked Minnesota Ice-Wall for their energy drink recipe. They refused. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Kevin Durant scores with natural-born leadership. A layup at the buzzer! Too smooth!
This next-level player Bam Adebayo takes a bow! A bench mob celebration! This was clinical!
Monkey D. Luffy, this all-around player, accidentally passes to the ref! Nice assist this legit talent!
Satoru Gojo lets out a roar! The emotion is real! A team high-five!
This legit talent Bam Adebayo seals the deal! Victory with night-in night-out consistency!
Bam Adebayo and Satoru Gojo pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
109-84 (W)
Bam Adebayo launches onto the floor! The crowd roars for this hooper's hooper!
Monkey D. Luffy scores on the putback! Recycling the ocean vessel is second nature for a ship captain!
Kevin Durant with the huge drawn charge from the right corner! This bonafide star says no!
Goku, this do-it-all player, drops the dime! Pure God-given talent passing on display!
Satoru Gojo, this do-it-all player, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Back in the locker room, Satoru Gojo sits down and stares at the ceiling. Did you know Satoru Gojo started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
A fadeaway jumper by Kevin Durant from way beyond the arc! Natural-born leadership in every fiber!
Satoru Gojo high-fives courtside fans! Those school teacher hands spreading the love!
Kevin Durant, this tower, holds the team together with freakish explosiveness! Captain!
Bam Adebayo, this tree of a man, sets the tone with night-in night-out consistency! Leader!
Satoru Gojo shakes hands! The handshake of a school teacher who respects the eager class!
Goku makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Monkey D. Luffy makes a bigger heart. Kevin Durant makes a massive heart. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
106-107 (L)
Monkey D. Luffy wins the opening tip! Tipping off with ship captain energy!
Monkey D. Luffy goes baseline and scores! The ocean vessel prepared them for this moment!
Satoru Gojo reacts too late to rotate! Occasional mental lapses on the help side!
Goku fires and misses off the pick and roll. Should have stuck with the stubborn soil!
Monkey D. Luffy ignites a Finals-like atmosphere! That ship captain energy is contagious!
Intermission. Satoru Gojo dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Rumor has it Satoru Gojo has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
This All-Star caliber talent Goku misses the free throws! Ego the size of Texas at the line!
Bam Adebayo goes to work the towel! This player on the come-up showing defense that's basically a suggestion!
Monkey D. Luffy dunks with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
Goku can't convert the and-one! Cultivating the stubborn soil was the easier task!
This bonafide star Goku congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this bonafide star.
Goku walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Monkey D. Luffy drags one foot after the other. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
100-92 (W)
Kevin Durant, this tree of a man, takes the court! The Finals-like atmosphere is electric!
Kevin Durant, this world-class player, operates along the baseline with a finger roll! Clinic!
Bam Adebayo slides to the passing lane and steals it! Nerves of steel!
Satoru Gojo with the bounce pass! The damn ball bouncing with precision worthy of their chalk stick!
Goku slows the pace when the team needs it! This top-tier talent tempo control!
That's a wrap for now. Goku dives into the tunnel. Confession: Goku believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
This dude putting the league on notice Bam Adebayo converts in the paint! A hook shot right on cue!
A Playoff atmosphere fills the arena! This multi-time All-Star Kevin Durant feeds off the energy!
This well-respected player Bam Adebayo celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Kevin Durant, this max-contract guy, answers every challenge! Ridiculous creativity never fading!
Kevin Durant, this walking skyscraper, takes the final bow! A bench mob celebration! Dominant display!
Satoru Gojo blows a kiss to the camera. Monkey D. Luffy blows twelve. Bam Adebayo blocks the lens. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
90-101 (L)
Monkey D. Luffy starts in the scorer! Playing the scorer way a ship captain plays with their ship's wheel!
Monkey D. Luffy clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their ship's wheel hitting the ocean vessel!
This dude putting the league on notice Bam Adebayo with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This respected competitor Bam Adebayo picks up the cheap foul! Tendency to rush showing!
Goku tallies another one! This farmer keeps racking them up!
Break! Monkey D. Luffy heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. The staff told me Monkey D. Luffy sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Bam Adebayo, this 7-footer, throws the hands up! Exasperated off the pick and roll!
That one wasn't even close, Goku! Stick to cultivating the stubborn soil!
This diamond in the rough Satoru Gojo runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
This max-contract guy Kevin Durant can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Bam Adebayo, this respected competitor, takes the loss hard. Tendency to rush at the wrong moments.
Satoru Gojo stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Goku comes back to get him. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
115-103 (W)
The game begins and Bam Adebayo is ready! You can see iron discipline written all over his face!
Satoru Gojo with the tough fadeaway jumper through contact! This player nobody saw coming won't be denied!
Kevin Durant picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
Bam Adebayo with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Bam Adebayo goes to work into the right spacing! Silky smooth technique and elite court awareness!
Halftime whistle. Satoru Gojo high-fives his teammates on the way out. Anecdote: Satoru Gojo lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Kevin Durant, this tower, uses every inch to deliver a hook shot!
Satoru Gojo gets the loudest cheer! Louder than a school teacher's proudest moment!
This max-contract guy Goku unites the locker room! That dawg mentality captain's mentality!
This league veteran Bam Adebayo flips the script! From struggle to dominance!
This unknown gem Satoru Gojo raises the arms! The win is in the books! A victory dance!
Kevin Durant and Monkey D. Luffy leap onto each other like kids. Bam Adebayo comes sprinting in and crushes them both. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
101-122 (L)
Bam Adebayo drives into position! This legit talent not wasting any time!
Kevin Durant, this absolute unit, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this established star!
Monkey D. Luffy with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost ship captain!
Goku can't stay in front! Cultivating the stubborn soil doesn't build lateral quickness!
Goku takes off and fires a floater! This versatile guy lighting it up!
Break! Bam Adebayo heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Did you know? Bam Adebayo launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Bam Adebayo fades away away from the huddle! This respected competitor in a dark place mentally!
Goku shoots an air ball in a Playoff atmosphere! A farmer lost in the noise!
Satoru Gojo reads the defense perfectly! Next-level basketball IQ and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Bam Adebayo, this tree of a man, with tired legs off the pick and roll! Tendency to force bad shots slowing this respected competitor down!
Satoru Gojo walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to school teacher life tomorrow!
Goku takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Monkey D. Luffy doesn't drink. Throat too tight. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
89-134 (L)
Bam Adebayo dishes with energy from the opening whistle! This league veteran locked in!
Kevin Durant fires a deep three from mid-range but can't connect! Injury-prone body showing!
Bam Adebayo throws it away! Defense that's basically a suggestion under pressure in the paint!
Monkey D. Luffy overcommits and gets beat! Shaky emotions under pressure when reading the play!
Goku picks up the second technical! This guy everybody knows ejected! Occasional mental lapses!
Halftime whistle! Goku grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Anecdote of the day: Goku forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Satoru Gojo can't finish! The school teacher who finishes the eager class can't finish the play!
Monkey D. Luffy short-arms the shot from fatigue! This legit talent has nothing left!
Satoru Gojo double-dribbles! Teaching the eager class doesn't have that rule!
Satoru Gojo mouths off and picks up a T! Hot head taking over!
This diamond in the rough Satoru Gojo stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this diamond in the rough wanted.
Kevin Durant snaps at the bench on his way out. Satoru Gojo says nothing, but his look says everything. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Bam Adebayo.
Season Journal
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. The team with no name, baby!
Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Bam Adebayo on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 208 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them.
But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Goku. The man is a farmer. A freaking farmer. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with seed dibber and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
Money-wise, this is solid. Not the penthouse but a nice apartment with a view of the playoffs. The team has the means for its moderate ambitions, which is already saying something. There's a go-to scorer, quality role players, and a sixth man who'd start on half the teams in the league. The owner keeps his hand on the wallet but knows when to open it. The danger? Settling for a second-round exit and becoming that team that's "nice but never dangerous." Tonight, they want to prove otherwise.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Bam Adebayo.
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