My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | My Team | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | New York Over-Timers | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got LeBron James on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 206 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Obito Uchiha, his brother-in-law and a ninja by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying their hidden blade and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Obito Uchiha can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the enemy castle to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench. The budget is starting to look sexy. They're over the cap, the owner is coughing up some luxury tax, and the roster has some swagger. There's experience, talent, and that little extra something that makes opponents take you seriously. It's not superteam territory yet, but damn, we're not in the gutter anymore either. The GM built a smart roster with guys who complement each other well. The kind of team that can wreak havoc in the playoffs if the stars align.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
105-118 (L)
This next-level player Beerus comes out aggressive! Opens with a deep three driving to the hoop!
Tim Duncan clanks another one off the rim! This max-contract guy needs to find rhythm!
Beerus double-dribbles! Rallying the war front doesn't have that rule!
Onix lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this surprise package fooled!
Obito Uchiha with the fadeaway catch-and-shoot triple! Smooth as their hidden blade in action!
The players disappear. Obito Uchiha has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: Obito Uchiha lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Tim Duncan glares at the scoreboard! This certified bucket not happy with the situation!
Tim Duncan, this big fella, can't finish on the low block! That one stings!
Tim Duncan, this towering presence, exploits the mismatch from the left corner! Smart play!
Onix, this all-around player, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
This rising star Onix congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this rising star.
Obito Uchiha lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Beerus decides not to comment. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
100-92 (W)
Onix takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Beerus scores a scoop layup! The battle standard by day, buckets by night!
LeBron James draws the offensive foul! Smart play, great positioning!
LeBron James whips the pass cross-court! Assist! This colossus seeing everything!
Beerus sets the screen with precision worthy of the battle standard! Tactical genius!
Time to breathe. LeBron James has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Intel: LeBron James refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Onix answers back with a bank shot! An off-the-charts basketball IQ under pressure!
The arena trembles! Onix with the play and a standing ovation follows!
LeBron James, this potential GOAT, rotates on defense! Nerves of steel team commitment!
Beerus overcomes the early struggles! This well-respected player rising like a phoenix!
LeBron James, this all-time great, points to the crowd! A team high-five! This was for the fans!
Beerus and LeBron James act out a movie scene where they reunite in slow motion. The crowd is dying. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
103-110 (L)
Tim Duncan, this titan, is introduced and the arena explodes! This reliable star is in the building!
Brick! Beerus misfires at half court! Heavy feet at the worst time!
Turnover by Obito Uchiha! Infiltrating the enemy castle requires less coordination, clearly!
Tim Duncan, this tree of a man, gets dunked on driving to the hoop! Poster material!
Onix, this swiss-army-knife type, rises above and hammers an off-balance shot!
The locker room fills up. Obito Uchiha has already eaten three oranges. Did you know Obito Uchiha plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Onix gets a technical for complaining! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
Onix, this do-it-all player, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this raw talent!
Tim Duncan reads the defense perfectly! Unreal swagger and a sky-high basketball IQ!
This All-Star caliber talent Tim Duncan can't close out! The legs are shot in the paint!
LeBron James takes off to the tunnel in disappointment. This first-ballot legend will learn from this.
LeBron James refuses Orlando Magic-Beans's handshake. Tim Duncan offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
115-103 (W)
Tip-off! Tim Duncan gets us started! Let's go!
Onix drains a step-back three at the buzzer! Textbook ridiculous creativity!
LeBron James, this generational talent, clamps down on the star player! An unmatched feel for the game on the assignment!
LeBron James with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Obito Uchiha outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a ninja with their hidden blade!
Halftime. Onix glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Anecdote: Onix threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Tim Duncan goes coast to coast for a half-court heave! This big-name player is relentless!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, gets the standing ovation! Palpable tension!
Tim Duncan, this oversized freak, holds the team together with insane court vision! Captain!
Win or lose, Onix has earned respect tonight! This total unknown warrior spirit!
This dark horse Onix caps off a special night! A salute to the fans! Until next time!
Beerus and Tim Duncan stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. I learned tonight that Beerus used to be a military leader. That explains the unique running style. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
121-98 (W)
Onix, this swiss-army-knife type, sets the tone immediately! Freakish explosiveness from the jump!
This raw talent Onix is automatic at half court! An alley-oop drops again!
Tim Duncan pressures the inbound! This established star with relentless ridiculous creativity!
Tim Duncan, this headliner, draws the double and finds the open shooter! Unreal swagger!
Beerus zones up! Defensive zone like a military leader's the war front zone!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Onix to massage his thighs. Did you know Onix entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Onix explodes past the defense for a finger roll! Size advantage from this this all-around player!
Kids in the stands mimic Obito Uchiha's infiltrating celebration! Adorable!
Beerus sets the perfect screen! Built like a military leader who doesn't skip leg day!
LeBron James, this beanpole, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this guy with rings on every finger right now!
Obito Uchiha, this total unknown, soaks in the moment! Victory under the basket! A bench mob celebration!
LeBron James blows a kiss to the camera. Obito Uchiha blows twelve. Beerus blocks the lens. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
106-116 (L)
This hungry young player Onix means business! Fast start under the basket!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, gets the look but can't convert at half court!
Obito Uchiha with the backcourt violation! This hidden prospect under too much pressure!
Tim Duncan reacts too late to rotate! Tendency to rush on the help side!
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James finishes with authority! A scoop layup from the left corner!
The locker room fills up. LeBron James has already eaten three oranges. They say LeBron James eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
LeBron James, this giant, throws the hands up! Exasperated driving to the hoop!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Sometimes predictable game!
Onix, this newcomer, manages the clock beautifully in the extra period!
Obito Uchiha can't get lift! Legs heavy as their hidden blade after the contest!
This hungry young player Onix leaves the hardwood with head held high. Fought to the end.
Tim Duncan scratches the back of his neck nervously. Beerus has the look of someone who has seen things. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
112-98 (W)
Tim Duncan fires up the crowd to open the game! This reliable star starting strong!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, dominates along the baseline and puts up a devastating dunk! Unstoppable!
This surprise package Onix reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
LeBron James with the touch pass! This basketball god barely had the damn ball and found the man!
LeBron James slows the pace when the team needs it! This basketball god tempo control!
Time to breathe. LeBron James has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Rumor has it LeBron James tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
This max-contract guy Tim Duncan converts in transition! A tear drop right on cue!
Onix, this hungry young player, waves the crowd up! A cathedral silence rising!
This established player Beerus motivates the squad in the huddle! Natural leader!
Onix, this smooth operator, sets the tone with ridiculous creativity! Leader!
LeBron James daps up the opponent! Respect from this potential GOAT after the battle!
LeBron James takes Beerus by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
104-110 (L)
Obito Uchiha announces themselves! The ninja has arrived and the building knows it!
A double-clutch layup from Tim Duncan sails wide! This franchise guy needs to regroup!
Tim Duncan, this towering presence, fumbles the entry pass facing the rim!
LeBron James, this walking skyscraper, lets the shooter get free back to the basket! Costly lapse!
This generational talent LeBron James with a picture-perfect fadeaway jumper! The crowd goes wild!
Break time. LeBron James bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Intel: LeBron James once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
LeBron James storms to the bench! This undisputed superstar is visibly upset!
Tim Duncan, this established star, pulls the trigger in the paint but no luck!
Beerus overloads one side! Loading up with military leader strategy!
Tim Duncan explodes but the legs won't cooperate! Injury-prone body catching up!
Beerus leaves the field house quietly! Quiet as a military leader after the war front setback!
Tim Duncan lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Onix decides not to comment. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
100-97 (W)
This big-name player Tim Duncan in the starting lineup! Let's see what this big-name player brings!
This diamond in the rough Onix takes the charge from downtown! Gutsy play!
LeBron James, this global icon, comes up empty! A floater off target at the buzzer!
A catch-and-shoot triple from Onix! That's eyes in the back of the head at the highest level!
This surprise package Onix attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Halftime. Obito Uchiha glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. I've been told Obito Uchiha once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
This franchise cornerstone LeBron James takes over! Back-to-back a thunderous slam in the extra period!
Onix, this swiss-army-knife type, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
Tim Duncan, this beanpole, commands palpable tension! The arena belongs to this franchise guy!
This potential GOAT LeBron James silences the crowd! A bank shot driving to the hoop! Stone cold!
LeBron James pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This hall-of-fame lock savors the win!
Tim Duncan and Obito Uchiha pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. I learned that Tim Duncan's father was a military leader. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
95-96 (L)
Tim Duncan, this oversized freak, takes the court! The wild stands is electric!
This up-and-coming baller Beerus does it again! A hook shot with effortless precision!
Obito Uchiha falls asleep on the weak side! Sometimes predictable game exposed!
Onix spins the leather into the front rim! That's frustrating for this potential breakout star!
Tim Duncan sparks the comeback! A two-handed slam from the right corner! This big-name player leads the charge!
Break! LeBron James has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Fun fact: LeBron James tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
LeBron James misses in the clutch! An alley-oop off the mark in the extra period!
LeBron James takes off and kicks the stanchion! This certified GOAT candidate losing composure!
Obito Uchiha, the ninja from the day shift, is writing their story on the gym tonight!
Onix throws it away with the game on the line! Injury-prone body!
Beerus hangs their head! A military leader who gave everything they had!
LeBron James walks toward the tunnel without a word. Beerus stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
110-109 (W)
Tim Duncan dunks with energy from the opening whistle! This bonafide star locked in!
LeBron James with the chase-down double team! What athleticism!
LeBron James, this mountain of a man, gets the separation but can't finish! Sometimes predictable game!
A pull-up jumper by Onix! The crowd erupts! Silky smooth technique personified!
LeBron James rises up into the right spacing! A killer instinct and elite court awareness!
The players file out. Beerus exchanges a tense look with the coach. Did you know? Beerus tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Obito Uchiha goes to work with the game on the line! A deep three! He lives for this!
Beerus denies the entry pass! No the war front gets past this military leader!
Deafening noise! Onix blows past and the building shakes!
Onix, this all-around player, blocks the go-ahead attempt! Late in the quarter charge taken!
Obito Uchiha heads to the locker room with a smile! Good day at the office for the ninja!
LeBron James improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Beerus plays the imaginary violin. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
111-95 (W)
LeBron James dunks onto the floor! The crowd roars for this global icon!
This established player Beerus capitalizes from mid-range! A euro-step with insane court vision!
Beerus with the strip! Snatched the rock clean, that's a military leader with quick hands!
Obito Uchiha floats a perfect pass! Floating it with a ninja's soft touch!
This hidden prospect Onix recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
Back in the locker room, Obito Uchiha sits down and stares at the ceiling. Rumor has it Obito Uchiha has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Tim Duncan posts up and it's a two-handed slam! This headliner proving the doubters wrong!
Tim Duncan, this tower, basks in a roaring arena! This is home!
Onix takes the blame for the mistake! This dude out of nowhere protecting teammates!
Beerus's work ethic? Forged by the military leader life, perfected on the court!
Final buzzer! Obito Uchiha's ninja shift on the venue ends in triumph!
Obito Uchiha runs the full court high-fiving everyone. LeBron James follows doing the wave alone. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
90-118 (L)
Tim Duncan, this long boy, announced to huge cheers! A standing ovation!
LeBron James forces a bad layup! This guy with rings on every finger needs to trust teammates!
LeBron James tries to be too fancy and loses the damn ball! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the decision-making!
Tim Duncan, this long boy, fouls unnecessarily facing the rim! Heavy feet!
Onix with the tough double-clutch layup through contact! This player nobody saw coming won't be denied!
End of the second quarter. Obito Uchiha is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Little secret: Obito Uchiha watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
LeBron James slams the Spalding in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
LeBron James dishes the pill awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this basketball god!
Onix, this all-around player, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Beerus is running on fumes! The military leader tank is completely empty!
Beerus sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a military leader after the battle standard broke!
LeBron James mutters 'damn' under his breath. Tim Duncan says 'yeah' in the same tone. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
89-105 (L)
Game time! Tim Duncan and this elite player ready to put on a show at the gymnasium!
Onix, this total unknown, sends the pill wide! The touch is off tonight!
LeBron James, this big fella, gets called for the carry! Tendency to rush in ball-handling!
This who-is-this-guy player Onix picks up the cheap foul! Tendency to force bad shots showing!
Onix attacks off the pick and roll and finishes with a thunderous slam! Too good!
The players head in. Tim Duncan slips on the wet tunnel floor. Confession: Tim Duncan tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
This global icon LeBron James gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
This guy everybody knows Tim Duncan rattles it out! So close yet so far from downtown!
Tim Duncan rises up to the weak side! This guy everybody knows exploiting the rotation!
Obito Uchiha gets the mercy sub! Mercy, like a ninja begging the enemy castle for mercy!
Tim Duncan had the chances but couldn't convert. This max-contract guy left wanting.
Beerus avoids the cameras like the plague. LeBron James gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
101-123 (L)
LeBron James rises up into position! This potential GOAT not wasting any time!
Tim Duncan attacks and fires but misses everything! Lack of consistency tonight!
Beerus with the backcourt violation! A military leader going backwards with the war front!
Beerus can't stay in front! Rallying the war front doesn't build lateral quickness!
This player nobody saw coming Obito Uchiha punishes the defense with a finger roll back to the basket!
Halftime. The doctor examines LeBron James's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Confession: LeBron James believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Beerus tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the military leader will bounce back!
An off-balance shot by Onix from the left corner is way off! Tough night for this who-is-this-guy player!
Tim Duncan dunks the ball out of the trap! That dawg mentality under pressure!
This big-name player Tim Duncan calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Heavy feet taking its toll!
This bonafide star Tim Duncan tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Beerus bites his lip, fists clenched. Obito Uchiha shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. I learned tonight that Beerus used to be a military leader. That explains the unique running style. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
My Team ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby!
Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got LeBron James on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 206 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Obito Uchiha, his brother-in-law and a ninja by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying their hidden blade and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Obito Uchiha can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the enemy castle to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench.
The budget is starting to look sexy. They're over the cap, the owner is coughing up some luxury tax, and the roster has some swagger. There's experience, talent, and that little extra something that makes opponents take you seriously. It's not superteam territory yet, but damn, we're not in the gutter anymore either. The GM built a smart roster with guys who complement each other well. The kind of team that can wreak havoc in the playoffs if the stars align.
My Team ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: LeBron James.
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