My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | New York Over-Timers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. Superman. The man. The beast. The man is massive, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Captain America. Profession? Military personnel. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with their service rifle, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into the frontline could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
95-101 (L)
Goku comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the farmer means business!
Iron Man denied by the basket! Even a superhero can't pry it open!
Barry Allen with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost superhero!
Barry Allen falls asleep on the weak side! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Goku with the crafty alley-oop! An off-the-charts basketball IQ on display!
Halftime. Goku glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Did you know? Goku has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Barry Allen shakes their head! A superhero who can't believe that just happened!
Superman takes a tough deep three and it doesn't go! Shaky emotions under pressure in shot selection!
Goku reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this farmer!
Superman bends over during the dead ball! This potential GOAT gathering what's left!
Goku tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we cultivates better, like the stubborn soil!'
Goku chews his nails on the bench. Barry Allen stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
124-78 (W)
Iron Man steps onto the palace of hoops! From competing the game to this, game time!
Captain America makes it look easy! As easy as a military personnel defending the frontline!
Captain America leads the break! Leading the charge like a military personnel who runs the show!
A bucket from Barry Allen! This guy with a proven track record just keeps delivering!
Iron Man anticipates the cut and deflects the Spalding! This all-time great reading minds!
Halftime whistle. Captain America high-fives his teammates on the way out. Quick anecdote about Captain America: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Iron Man, this first-ballot legend, knifes through for an and-one at half court! Wow!
Superman, this do-it-all player, caps off a dominant performance! Unreal swagger from start to finish!
This jersey-selling name Captain America argues a call that went in their favor! Wait what?
Iron Man throws the finger guns at the crowd! A victory dance after a euro-step!
Captain America embraces teammates! The bond of defending the frontline together!
Superman takes Barry Allen by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
106-91 (W)
This certified bucket Captain America in the starting lineup! Let's see what this certified bucket brings!
What a shot from Superman! A superhero bringing their bare hands energy to the gymnasium!
This guy with a proven track record Barry Allen with the no-foul contest from downtown! Clean as a whistle!
Iron Man floats a perfect pass! Floating it with a superhero's soft touch!
Captain America, this tweener, exploits the mismatch on the low block! Smart play!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Barry Allen picks up the pace. Anecdote: Barry Allen fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
A reverse layup from Superman! Another dagger! This absolute legend closing the door!
The crowd waves their bare hands replicas! Barry Allen has started a movement!
Iron Man takes the blame for the mistake! This all-time great protecting teammates!
Barry Allen, this established player, has the crowd in the palm of the hand! A hostile crowd!
Captain America wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their service rifle and the leather!
Iron Man does the floss while Barry Allen spins like a top. Goku just stands there, arms crossed. Cool. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
116-80 (W)
And we're underway! Iron Man touches the damn ball first! This basketball god looks eager!
Iron Man scores again! When you're a superhero by trade, the ball is child's play!
Captain America, this solid build, drops the dime! Scary good handles passing on display!
Barry Allen with an unmatched feel for the game finds the angle for a buzzer-beater!
Iron Man rejects the layup! A commanding rebound by this little thunder! Get that out!
End of the first half. Captain America is beet red but still standing. Anecdote: Captain America threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Iron Man adds to the total! A superhero who always exceeds expectations!
Barry Allen, this smooth operator, makes it look like practice! Total domination!
The announcer confused Superman's stat line with a superhero's daily output! Easy mistake!
Goku taps the logo on the jersey! A victory dance! That's pride right there!
Superman leaves everything on the gym! Left it all out there tonight!
Superman grabs Barry Allen and hoists him onto his shoulders. Captain America tries to climb on too. It ends in a pile. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
108-109 (L)
Captain America, this versatile guy, takes the court! The roaring arena is electric!
Iron Man with the reverse layup! Creative as a superhero with the game!
This certified GOAT candidate Superman gives up the offensive rebound! Ego the size of Texas when boxing out!
Barry Allen heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
Superman orchestrates the miracle comeback! Miraculous as a superhero saving their bare hands!
Back in the locker room, Iron Man sits down and stares at the ceiling. Fun fact: Iron Man blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Iron Man, this global icon, misses the potential game-winner! Tendency to rush!
Iron Man mouths off at right from the tip-off! A superhero venting about the game!
Goku leaves it all on the floor! This All-Star caliber talent with a killer instinct effort!
Captain America, this max-contract guy, commits the late turnover! Lack of consistency with the ball!
Superman walks off in defeat! Even a superhero's skills couldn't save tonight!
Superman claps his hands in frustration. Iron Man clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. I got a text from Superman after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
114-98 (W)
Iron Man wins the opening tip! Tipping off with superhero energy!
Superman with the highlight-reel free throw! This global icon owning the moment!
Iron Man with a clutch steal! The reflexes of a superhero catching the game!
Captain America unlocks the defense! Picked it apart like a military personnel on a mission!
Barry Allen communicates the switch! Clear as a superhero's instructions!
Back in the locker room, Barry Allen sits down and stares at the ceiling. I've been told Barry Allen once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Superman banks it in from the left corner! A superhero's steady hand at work!
Superman soaks in an incredible energy! A superhero savoring life beyond their bare hands!
Goku sprints back on defense! This headliner leading by example!
Captain America has found another gear! This bonafide star shifting into overdrive!
This global icon Superman seals the deal! Victory with an unmatched feel for the game!
Superman and Captain America slap each other's butts. Iron Man declines the invitation. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
106-90 (W)
Barry Allen stretches center court! Loosening up, the superhero is getting ready!
Captain America with a hook shot off the screen! Read that play like a textbook!
Iron Man, this low-to-the-ground speedster, alters the shot! Silky smooth technique at the rim!
Superman sees the floor! The awareness of a superhero scanning the game!
Iron Man goes to the post! That superhero strength is showing!
The locker room fills up. Barry Allen has already eaten three oranges. Rumor has it Barry Allen tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Iron Man dribbles the ball with purpose! A hook shot! This all-time great means business!
This respected competitor Barry Allen silences the hostile crowd! Immense pressure shifts!
Goku tips the rebound to a teammate! Selfless play from this farmer!
Superman penetrates with conviction! This living legend believes tonight is the night!
Goku finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a farmer would be proud of!
Superman does a handstand. Iron Man holds him by the feet. The crowd holds its breath. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
92-103 (L)
Goku checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Barry Allen misses the open look! This legit talent can't believe it! Tendency to rush!
Iron Man botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Superman reacts too late to rotate! Shaky emotions under pressure on the help side!
Superman drives past everyone for a sky hook! This all-around player on a mission!
That's a cut. Barry Allen stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Did you know Barry Allen once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Iron Man throws their hands up! Like a superhero when their bare hands breaks!
This reliable star Goku shanks a catch-and-shoot triple in the paint! That's uncharacteristic!
Goku slows the pace when the team needs it! This bonafide star tempo control!
Superman bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a superhero after their bare hands overtime!
This household name Iron Man stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this household name wanted.
Captain America closes his eyes walking out. Iron Man keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
103-89 (W)
Goku starts in the rebounder! Playing the rebounder way a farmer plays with the seed dibber!
Barry Allen answers back with a floater! Eyes in the back of the head under pressure!
Superman, this versatile guy, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
Goku with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! Freakish explosiveness on that one!
Superman penetrates to the right spot! Iron discipline off-ball movement!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Captain America picks up the pace. Juicy intel: Captain America turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Barry Allen scores the go-ahead! A superhero who always finishes the job on time!
Superman throws the kicks to the crowd! Better than throwing the game!
Goku cheers the loudest! Happy as a farmer clocking out on a Friday!
Captain America, this franchise guy, answers every challenge! Ridiculous creativity never fading!
Superman talks to reporters! Explaining the leather like explaining the game!
Captain America takes a bow for the crowd. Superman bows to Captain America. The nobility of basketball. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
98-102 (L)
Superman lands the first finger roll! First blood! The superhero strikes first!
This generational talent Iron Man does it again! A layup with effortless precision!
Iron Man gets screened out of the play! This global icon lost in traffic!
Captain America shanks it from half court! Defending the frontline uses different muscles!
This undisputed superstar Superman draws the charge! Momentum swinging along the baseline!
Rest. Iron Man buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Anecdote: Iron Man once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Barry Allen airballs the potential winner! Competing the game is easier than this!
Iron Man tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the superhero will bounce back!
They said a military personnel couldn't play at this level. Captain America and their service rifle disagree!
Iron Man, this potential GOAT, air-balls in the extra period! The crowd is stunned!
Captain America sits alone on the bench. This elite player processing the defeat.
Superman claps his hands in frustration. Iron Man clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
113-96 (W)
Superman, this tweener, sets the tone immediately! A killer instinct from the jump!
Goku drains a pull-up jumper from the right corner! Textbook iron discipline!
Superman with the weak-side block! Appearing from nowhere like a superhero finding the game!
Goku racks up the helpers! Dishing like it's their farmer... Because it is!
Iron Man, this first-ballot legend, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Night-in night-out consistency!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Barry Allen walks head down toward the tunnel. Locker room anecdote: Barry Allen talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Captain America, this smooth operator, glides to from the right corner for a silky finger roll!
The halftime tribute to Goku's farmer journey! The stubborn soil to a sky hook!
This absolute legend Iron Man motivates the squad in the huddle! Natural leader!
Captain America, this versatile guy, sets the tone with night-in night-out consistency! Leader!
Captain America hugs the coach! The warmth of a military personnel who just nailed it!
Captain America and Iron Man stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. Tonight I had a revelation: Iron Man runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
120-92 (W)
Iron Man shoots with energy from the opening whistle! This first-ballot legend locked in!
Goku penetrates the Spalding with flair and hits a thunderous slam! Sensational!
This hall-of-fame lock Iron Man forces the bad pass! Eyes in the back of the head creating turnovers!
Captain America finds the open teammate! Vision of a military personnel spotting the frontline!
Captain America, this multi-time All-Star, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
The players disappear. Iron Man has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Did you know? Iron Man once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Goku drives from the right corner with the same confidence they bring to cultivating the stubborn soil.
Barry Allen, this swiss-army-knife type, gestures for more noise! The crowd goes nuts!
Iron Man dives for the loose ball! Full send from this superhero!
Captain America spins with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
Superman seals the win! Sealed tight, the superhero gets it done!
Superman takes a bow for the crowd. Iron Man bows to Superman. The nobility of basketball. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
130-92 (W)
This established star Captain America catches the basketball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
This absolute legend Superman capitalizes from downtown! A buzzer beater with a killer instinct!
Iron Man with the incredible court vision! This certified GOAT candidate sees passes nobody else does!
Superman takes off with the precision of a superhero at work. And it's a sky hook!
Superman switches seamlessly! Versatile as a superhero switching between their bare hands and the game!
Break! Superman grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Rumor has it Superman talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Captain America scores with their service rifle, no, with their hands! But the precision is the same!
Captain America, this multi-time All-Star, waves to the crowd early! The outcome settled!
Goku claims their farmer training helps with the basketball handling! Maybe true?
Iron Man shimmies after a euro-step! Shaking it off, the superhero is feeling it!
Iron Man reflects on the game! The thoughtful reflection of a superhero after a big day!
Superman makes the phone sign toward the opposing bench. Iron Man makes the 'call us' gesture. Evening confession: I'm wearing Superman's jersey under my shirt. For morale. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
112-97 (W)
Captain America takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Iron Man muscles through for a bucket! The strength of a superhero moving the game!
Superman strips the ball cleanly! Veteran move right there!
Barry Allen facilitates beautifully! The facilitator who competes the game!
Superman manipulates the defense! Manipulation worthy of their bare hands on the game!
Halftime! Iron Man has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Exclusive: Iron Man was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Barry Allen with the step-back catch-and-shoot triple! Creating space like a superhero with their bare hands!
Standing ovation for Barry Allen! The palace of hoops salutes the superhero and their their bare hands!
Iron Man glues the team together! Team-first mentality, pure superhero instinct!
Captain America is the protagonist tonight! This established star authoring a masterpiece!
Superman goes to work to the crowd! A bench mob celebration! This undisputed superstar gave everything!
Barry Allen takes Iron Man by the hand and they bow to the crowd like stage actors. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
92-121 (L)
Iron Man locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a superhero who means business!
Goku, this elite player, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Iron Man dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the superhero's finest moment!
Iron Man bites on the pump fake! This once-in-a-lifetime player sent flying in the paint!
Superman, this solid build, rises above and hammers a bucket!
Cut! Halftime. Iron Man's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Rumor has it Iron Man tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Captain America, this swiss-army-knife type, pounds the scorer's table! Limited stamina on full display!
Captain America launches but the shot rims out! Occasional mental lapses rears its ugly head!
Goku executes a horns set perfectly! Precision learned as a farmer!
Iron Man needs oxygen! More winded than a superhero after overtime!
Goku tips the cap to the winners! The farmer's grace with the stubborn soil!
Captain America stares at the floor while Barry Allen mutters something inaudible under his breath. Evening confession: I'm wearing Captain America's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
My Team ends the season #4 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Superman.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby!
The real reason this building is at capacity? It's him. Superman. The man. The beast. The man is massive, and not an ounce of fat, all lean muscle and raw talent. This dude was put on Earth to play basketball, there's no other explanation. Watch him move on the court and it's like watching a predator in the savanna: every movement is calculated, every step is perfect, and when he decides to strike, it's already too late for the defender. Nature built a monster, and we're lucky enough to watch him play tonight.
The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins.
Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Captain America. Profession? Military personnel. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with their service rifle, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into the frontline could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn.
The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
My Team ends the season #4 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Superman.
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