lebron — basketball_team 🇬🇧
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 11 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | lebron | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Lebron! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Hulk is on this team. Hulk, who is a scientist and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with their lab notebook under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world. The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
89-108 (L)
Tip-off! LeBron James gets us started! Let's go!
Sonic the Hedgehog posts up the basketball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Lord Voldemort throws it away! A pass worse than a fictional tyrant tossing the game!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, gets dunked on off the pick and roll! Poster material!
Sonic the Hedgehog buries a sky hook in the paint! This world-class player is on fire tonight!
First half is done. Sonic the Hedgehog is chugging Gatorade like it's water. True story: Sonic the Hedgehog walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Detroit Engine-Roar. Awkward. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
LeBron James storms to the bench! This all-time great is visibly upset!
Bad Bunny, this all-around player, gets the look but can't convert off the pick and roll!
This household name LeBron James recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
Hulk gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from discoverring the hidden truth and hooping!
Bad Bunny, this solid build, hangs the head. Tough loss despite ridiculous creativity effort.
LeBron James unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Sonic the Hedgehog runs a hand down his face. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
107-104 (W)
Hulk, this tweener, is introduced and the arena explodes! This generational talent is in the building!
Lord Voldemort with the strip! Snatched the ball clean, that's a fictional tyrant with quick hands!
Air ball from Hulk! Being a scientist doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Hulk goes coast to coast for an and-one! This first-ballot legend is relentless!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Halftime whistle. Lord Voldemort has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Confession: Lord Voldemort believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Lord Voldemort with the transition score! Moving fast like a fictional tyrant moving their bare hands!
This generational talent LeBron James comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
A standing ovation fills the arena! This bonafide star Sonic the Hedgehog feeds off the energy!
Lord Voldemort converts the and-one in traffic! Tough as competing the game in a crowd!
Bad Bunny wraps up an incredible performance! Wrapped up tight, the rapper delivered!
LeBron James and Hulk pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
108-109 (L)
Sonic the Hedgehog, this do-it-all player, takes the court! The boiling cauldron is electric!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this established star, drops an off-balance shot in the paint! Pure artistry!
Sonic the Hedgehog bites on the pump fake! This world-class player sent flying driving to the hoop!
This certified bucket Lord Voldemort muscles up an off-balance shot but can't get it to fall!
Bad Bunny takes off with renewed energy! This established star smells blood!
Halftime whistle! LeBron James grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Did you know LeBron James knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Orlando Magic-Beans's colors. By accident, obviously. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Lord Voldemort launches and bricks it! Occasional mental lapses in the first half!
Sonic the Hedgehog slams the basketball in frustration! Hot head on full display!
Hulk brings the hidden truth wisdom to the field house tactics!
Sonic the Hedgehog throws it away with the game on the line! Tendency to rush!
This absolute legend LeBron James leaves the floor with head held high. Fought to the end.
Bad Bunny snaps at the bench on his way out. Lord Voldemort says nothing, but his look says everything. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
87-111 (L)
Hulk lands the first buzzer beater! First blood! The scientist strikes first!
Hulk pulls up but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Bad Bunny with the careless pass! Spitting the fiery bars with more care, please!
Bad Bunny gets blown by! Even a rapper couldn't stop that!
Hulk, this solid build, elevates for a monster step-back three!
Well-deserved break. Hulk looks like someone who just ran a marathon. I've been told Hulk always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Bad Bunny, this swiss-army-knife type, shows negative body language! Hot head creeping in!
A devastating dunk from Hulk sails wide! This global icon needs to regroup!
Lord Voldemort communicates the switch! Clear as a fictional tyrant's instructions!
Bad Bunny tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a rapper's energy for the fiery bars!
LeBron James reflects on what could have been. Tendency to force bad shots the difference tonight.
Bad Bunny is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Lord Voldemort waits at the tunnel entrance. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
80-124 (L)
Lord Voldemort steps onto the field house! From competing the game to this, game time!
Hulk can't convert! The scientist's touch with the hidden truth deserted them!
Hulk, this versatile guy, steps out of bounds with the basketball! Mental lapse!
This franchise cornerstone Hulk can't recover! Scored on back to the basket! Tendency to force bad shots!
Sonic the Hedgehog mutters to himself walking back! This max-contract guy fighting inner demons!
Halftime. LeBron James wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Small detail: LeBron James wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Sonic the Hedgehog forces a buzzer-beater driving to the hoop! This max-contract guy trying too hard!
Lord Voldemort is running on fumes! The fictional tyrant tank is completely empty!
Sloppy handling by Hulk! Discoverring the hidden truth is done with more finesse!
Hulk can't mask the disappointment! This basketball god wearing it on the sleeve!
LeBron James had the chances but couldn't convert. This potential GOAT left wanting.
Bad Bunny sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Lord Voldemort winces. Tonight I learned Bad Bunny used to be a volunteer firefighter before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
84-120 (L)
Sonic the Hedgehog fires up the crowd to open the game! This multi-time All-Star starting strong!
Sonic the Hedgehog explodes the Spalding into the front rim! That's frustrating for this max-contract guy!
This certified bucket Lord Voldemort dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Bad Bunny caught flat-footed! Standing still, the rapper reflexes took a nap!
Hulk mouths off and picks up a T! Ego the size of Texas taking over!
Rest. Lord Voldemort buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Anecdote of the day: Lord Voldemort forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Bad Bunny can't convert the open shot! Spitting the fiery bars is way easier!
This first-ballot legend LeBron James calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Heavy feet taking its toll!
Sonic the Hedgehog throws it into the stands! What was that from this bonafide star!
This living legend Hulk hangs the head after the miss! Deflated at the buzzer!
Lord Voldemort takes the loss hard! Hard as the game on a bad fictional tyrant day!
Bad Bunny looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Lord Voldemort looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
101-115 (L)
Lord Voldemort gets the starting nod! A fictional tyrant starting with their bare hands confidence!
LeBron James can't buy a bucket! Another miss facing the rim! Frustrating!
This jersey-selling name Bad Bunny with turnover number buckets! Ego the size of Texas is piling up!
LeBron James reacts too late to rotate! Tendency to rush on the help side!
LeBron James, this long boy, overpowers for a sky hook! Size matters!
The players leave the court. Sonic the Hedgehog clings to the tunnel railing. Little scoop: Sonic the Hedgehog logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Lord Voldemort drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a fictional tyrant's spirit has limits!
Sonic the Hedgehog rushes a devastating dunk at the top of the key! Sometimes predictable game creeping in!
LeBron James shoots to the weak side! This household name exploiting the rotation!
Sonic the Hedgehog rises up but the legs won't cooperate! Heavy feet catching up!
Bad Bunny wipes a tear! A rapper who poured everything into the effort!
Sonic the Hedgehog rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Hulk picks up his own and folds it carefully. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
104-117 (L)
Lord Voldemort, this jersey-selling name, draws first blood! A half-court heave to start!
This elite player Lord Voldemort rattles it out! So close yet so far from the left corner!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this do-it-all player, commits the travel! Sometimes predictable game in the footwork!
This generational talent LeBron James picks up the cheap foul! Hot head showing!
A buzzer-beater from Hulk! That's freakish explosiveness at the highest level!
Break! LeBron James has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Confession: LeBron James calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Hulk mouths off at the last second! A scientist venting about the hidden truth!
A euro-step from Lord Voldemort goes in and out! Heartbreaking at the top of the key!
LeBron James dribbles the ball out of the trap! A gym-rat work ethic under pressure!
LeBron James short-arms the shot from fatigue! This guy with rings on every finger has nothing left!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this combo guard, trudges off the temple of basketball. Lessons to take from this one.
LeBron James and Sonic the Hedgehog share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
102-103 (L)
Sonic the Hedgehog takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Bad Bunny finishes with style! Years of spitting the fiery bars built those hands!
Bad Bunny gets caught flat-footed! This top-tier talent beaten to the spot!
Hulk with the off-balance floater! This first-ballot legend couldn't set the feet!
LeBron James converts the and-one! A tear drop! This hall-of-fame lock won't go quietly!
Halftime whistle. Lord Voldemort high-fives his teammates on the way out. Staff confession: Lord Voldemort is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Hulk gets blocked at late in the quarter! Rejected harder than the hidden truth proposals!
Lord Voldemort sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a fictional tyrant after a long shift!
The fictional tyrant identity fuels Lord Voldemort. Their bare hands taught them everything about pressure!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this headliner, air-balls in the first quarter! The crowd is stunned!
LeBron James, this generational talent, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
LeBron James's complexion is grey. Sonic the Hedgehog's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
76-118 (L)
Sonic the Hedgehog steps back onto the floor! The crowd roars for this headliner!
Bad Bunny clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their hot mic hitting the fiery bars!
This bonafide star Lord Voldemort forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
LeBron James overcommits and gets beat! Ego the size of Texas when reading the play!
This established star Sonic the Hedgehog stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Sonic the Hedgehog walks head down toward the tunnel. Staff confession: Sonic the Hedgehog is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
This headliner Sonic the Hedgehog misses the mark! A sky hook goes begging from mid-range!
Bad Bunny labors up the court! Trudging like a rapper dragging the fiery bars!
This established star Sonic the Hedgehog gets pickpocketed from downtown! Sloppy handling!
This All-Star caliber talent Lord Voldemort throws an elbow in frustration! Hot head on full display!
Lord Voldemort leaves the venue quietly! Quiet as a fictional tyrant after the game setback!
Lord Voldemort collapses into the first available chair. Sonic the Hedgehog stays standing, eyes glazed over. I learned that Lord Voldemort's father was a volunteer firefighter. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
93-122 (L)
Opening possession for Hulk! First touch, like first touch of their lab notebook!
Hulk can't finish! The scientist who finishes the hidden truth can't finish the play!
Turnover by Lord Voldemort! Competing the game requires less coordination, clearly!
Bad Bunny loses their assignment! Like losing their hot mic in the workshop!
Sonic the Hedgehog pulls up to the rack for a hook shot! Can't contain this do-it-all player!
That's a cut. LeBron James stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Anecdote: LeBron James threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Hulk glares at the scoreboard! This hall-of-fame lock not happy with the situation!
Hulk misses! Even a scientist can't fix that shot!
LeBron James slows the pace when the team needs it! This potential GOAT tempo control!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This bonafide star Sonic the Hedgehog tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
LeBron James takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Sonic the Hedgehog follows the same path. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
76-120 (L)
Hulk penetrates with energy from the opening whistle! This all-time great locked in!
Bad Bunny heaves and misses! Should have heaved the fiery bars instead!
Sonic the Hedgehog with the lazy pass! Defense that's basically a suggestion leading to easy points!
Bad Bunny gives up the back door! Hot head when overplaying!
Bad Bunny throws their hands up! Like a rapper when their hot mic breaks!
Halftime! Sonic the Hedgehog walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Little scoop: Sonic the Hedgehog logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Lord Voldemort gets a clean look but tendency to rush costs the bucket!
Lord Voldemort grimaces through the effort! The grimace of a fictional tyrant finishing the game!
Bad Bunny with the errant pass! This multi-time All-Star needs to settle down!
LeBron James steps back angrily after the turnover! This absolute legend spiraling!
Hulk dunks past the media. This once-in-a-lifetime player not in the mood to talk.
Hulk's eyes are red, jaw tight. Bad Bunny apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
85-129 (L)
Hulk checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Sonic the Hedgehog, this combo guard, gets the separation but can't finish! Heavy feet!
Hulk coughs up the ball! Hot head strikes again from the left corner!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
This jersey-selling name Bad Bunny gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Halftime whistle. Bad Bunny has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Did you know? Bad Bunny tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Brick! Sonic the Hedgehog misfires at the top of the key! Hot head at the worst time!
LeBron James bends over during the dead ball! This household name gathering what's left!
Sonic the Hedgehog charges right into the defender! Turnover! Lack of consistency when controlling pace!
Bad Bunny steps back away from the huddle! This jersey-selling name in a dark place mentally!
Bad Bunny dishes to the tunnel in disappointment. This elite player will learn from this.
LeBron James refuses Boston Ring-Chasers's handshake. Sonic the Hedgehog offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
94-128 (L)
Game time! Sonic the Hedgehog and this guy everybody knows ready to put on a show at the venue!
Sonic the Hedgehog with the contested free throw facing the rim! No good! Bad selection!
Sonic the Hedgehog dunks into a dead end from downtown! Turnover! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Sonic the Hedgehog turns the head and loses the man! This bonafide star napping defensively!
Hulk, this global icon, with the frustrated foul! Shaky emotions under pressure in tough moments!
Break. Bad Bunny's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Physio's confession: Bad Bunny purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Hulk shoots and fires but misses everything! Hot head tonight!
LeBron James is gassed! This hall-of-fame lock bent over at half court! Tendency to force bad shots catching up!
Bad Bunny passes to nobody! This big-name player with a head-scratching decision!
Lord Voldemort glares at the ball! Like it personally betrayed this fictional tyrant!
Hulk absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a scientist knows tough days!
LeBron James replays the score in his head on a loop. Hulk tries to think about something else. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
83-126 (L)
This guy everybody knows Sonic the Hedgehog gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Hulk short on the attempt! Needs the reach of their lab notebook!
Bad Bunny throws it out of bounds! Like launching their hot mic into the void!
LeBron James scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Ego the size of Texas!
Lord Voldemort, this all-around player, throws the hands up! Exasperated in the paint!
The players head to the locker room. Sonic the Hedgehog is sweating like a racehorse. Confession: Sonic the Hedgehog calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Hulk with a wild attempt! This franchise cornerstone not finding the range tonight!
Bad Bunny, this headliner, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Bad Bunny turns it over at late in the quarter! A rapper dropping their hot mic at the worst time!
Sonic the Hedgehog picks up the second technical! This All-Star caliber talent ejected! Hot head!
This guy with rings on every finger Hulk stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this guy with rings on every finger wanted.
Bad Bunny isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Lord Voldemort tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Evening confession: I'm wearing Bad Bunny's jersey under my shirt. For morale. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
lebron finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Lebron!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
Alright, we need to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the comedy show on the roster. Hulk is on this team. Hulk, who is a scientist and doesn't even know what "pick-and-roll" means. The guy shows up with their lab notebook under his arm, shoes that are clearly not regulation, and the cardio of a weekend smoker. At his first practice, he tried a crossover and twisted his ankle. At his second, he attempted a layup and the ball flew into the stands. But damn it, what this man has is balls of steel and an ability to make an entire arena laugh without even trying. And that, my friends, is worth every max contract in the world.
The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
lebron finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
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