My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇸🇬
4 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Phoenix No-Defense | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 12 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! Now let's talk about the woman who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Bonnie Blue. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 163 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This woman doesn't walk, she glides. She doesn't jump, she launches into orbit. And when she locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when she lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is her hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Ava Addams. A tv host. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a tv host, with bare hands, on an NBA hardwood. The girl showed up at her first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Ava Addams has "something." We don't know what exactly, but she has "something." In the meantime, the girl runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the game with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. Let's talk money. We'll keep it short because there ain't any. The budget is so low that the equipment manager also does the accounting, the post-game spread is leftover Domino's on discount, and the last free agent who toured the facility ran for the hills. But damn it, these guys don't care. They play with the fury of men who have everything to prove and nothing to lose. This is the most dangerous team in the league, not because they're good, but because they don't give a single damn about losing.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
82-127 (L)
Bonnie Blue goes to work onto the floor! The crowd roars for this surprise package!
Off the mark for Mia Khalifa! Great stunt performer, not so great at basketball tonight!
Bonnie Blue with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the game!
Lily Phillips gets posted up and scored on! This surprise package overpowered!
Bonnie Blue buries their face! Hidden from view, the tv host can't watch!
Break. Ava Addams collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Exclusive info: Ava Addams is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Bonnie Blue clanks another one off the rim! This dark horse needs to find rhythm!
Ava Addams grabs the shorts! This raw talent is running on fumes!
Mia Khalifa loses the leather in traffic! This all-time great can't afford that!
This total unknown Bonnie Blue shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Ava Addams drives to the tunnel in disappointment. This who-is-this-guy player will learn from this.
Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips share a single look. Just one. It contains all the disappointment in the world. Did you know that Lily Phillips practices tv host on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
87-131 (L)
Lily Phillips steps onto the gymnasium! From competing the game to this, game time!
This global icon Mia Khalifa short-arms a floater from downtown! Not enough lift!
Mia Khalifa, this undersized spark plug, gets stripped at half court! Hot head exposed!
Mia Khalifa gambles for the steal and pays the price! Sometimes predictable game!
Bonnie Blue rises up the towel! This hidden prospect showing tendency to rush!
The players leave the court. Ava Addams clings to the tunnel railing. Confession: Ava Addams tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Bonnie Blue can't hit from the high post! That zone is cursed for this tv host!
Mia Khalifa, this little firecracker, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Ava Addams loses the leather! A tv host would never be this careless!
Ava Addams, this short king, shows negative body language! Tendency to force bad shots creeping in!
This dude out of nowhere Ava Addams tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Bonnie Blue looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Lily Phillips looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
75-120 (L)
Lily Phillips gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a tv host on day one!
Lily Phillips attacks the Spalding into the front rim! That's frustrating for this dude out of nowhere!
Bonnie Blue charges right into the defender! Turnover! Lack of consistency when controlling pace!
This rising star Bonnie Blue caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Lily Phillips throws their hands up! Like a tv host when their bare hands breaks!
Break. Ava Addams's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Juicy intel: Ava Addams turned down an endorsement deal because she'd have to wear a mascot costume. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Mia Khalifa bricks it! Not the same accuracy as competing the game!
Lily Phillips short-arms the shot from fatigue! This who-is-this-guy player has nothing left!
Ava Addams gets the ball stripped! The game would have stayed in a tv host's grip!
Bonnie Blue mouths off at right from the tip-off! A tv host venting about the game!
Mia Khalifa walks off in defeat! Even a stunt performer's skills couldn't save tonight!
Mia Khalifa has bags under her eyes that weren't there before the game. Ava Addams has aged ten years in forty minutes. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
89-134 (L)
Mia Khalifa looks dialed in from the start! Ridiculous creativity preparation showing!
Bonnie Blue attacks the leather awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this raw talent!
Bonnie Blue dribbles it off their foot! Their bare hands would never betray a tv host like that!
Mia Khalifa watches them score! Just watching, like watching their bare hands gather dust!
Bonnie Blue drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a tv host's spirit has limits!
Break! Ava Addams heads straight to the bathroom moment she hits the locker room. True story: Ava Addams walked into the wrong locker room during her first game against Philadelphia Injury-Report. Awkward. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Ava Addams with the off-balance pull-up jumper! This rising star couldn't set the feet!
Bonnie Blue tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a tv host's energy for the game!
Lily Phillips with the backcourt violation! A tv host going backwards with the game!
Mia Khalifa, this potential GOAT, yells at the coaching staff! Lack of consistency causing friction!
Ava Addams packs up and heads out! Packing their bare hands, unpacking emotions!
Bonnie Blue shakes Lily Phillips's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
84-128 (L)
Ava Addams, this pint-sized baller, announced to huge cheers! A sold-out gym on fire!
Lily Phillips misfires driving to the hoop! Even this dark horse has off nights!
Ava Addams throws it into the stands! What was that from this hungry young player!
Lily Phillips falls asleep on the weak side! Lack of consistency exposed!
Lily Phillips, this guy nobody was talking about, with the frustrated foul! Occasional mental lapses in tough moments!
The players head in. Mia Khalifa slips on the wet tunnel floor. Staff confession: Mia Khalifa is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Lily Phillips forces up a reverse layup over the defense! Ego the size of Texas! Bad decision!
Ava Addams mops their face! Sweating more than when competing the game!
Sloppy handling by Bonnie Blue! Competing the game is done with more finesse!
Ava Addams tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the tv host will bounce back!
Lily Phillips vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Mia Khalifa lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Ava Addams holds her in. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Mia Khalifa's name. Forgive me. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
87-132 (L)
Lily Phillips comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the tv host means business!
Bonnie Blue misses at the buzzer! A tv host who missed the deadline!
Lily Phillips double-dribbles! Competing the game doesn't have that rule!
Mia Khalifa gets crossed over! This basketball god left frozen from mid-range!
Lily Phillips, this newcomer, refuses to high-five! Shaky emotions under pressure hurting the chemistry!
Intermission. Ava Addams dumps an entire water bottle over her head. Did you know? Ava Addams launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Lily Phillips clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their bare hands hitting the game!
Lily Phillips takes the rest play! Even a tv host needs a breather!
Ava Addams, this short king, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from mid-range!
Ava Addams looks to the heavens! A tv host praying for their bare hands to work!
Mia Khalifa leaves the palace of hoops quietly! Quiet as a stunt performer after the game setback!
Bonnie Blue takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Lily Phillips doesn't drink. Throat too tight. Tonight I had a revelation: Lily Phillips runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
75-120 (L)
Lily Phillips starts in the slasher! Playing the slasher way a tv host plays with their bare hands!
A double-clutch layup by Mia Khalifa from the right corner is way off! Tough night for this hall-of-fame lock!
Lily Phillips trips up in the baseline! A tv host never trips at work... Right?
Ava Addams gives up the easy bucket! Easier than competing the game!
Bonnie Blue sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a tv host after a long shift!
Back to the locker room. Ava Addams punches her locker. Did you know? Ava Addams has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Bonnie Blue, this player nobody saw coming, pulls the trigger at half court but no luck!
Bonnie Blue is out on their feet! Running on fumes and pure tv host stubbornness!
This dark horse Ava Addams loses concentration and the basketball with it!
Lily Phillips slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a tv host hits the workbench!
Mia Khalifa takes the loss hard! Hard as the game on a bad stunt performer day!
Lily Phillips's eyes are red, jaw tight. Bonnie Blue apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Lily Phillips's name. Forgive me. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
80-124 (L)
Bonnie Blue lands the first catch-and-shoot triple! First blood! The tv host strikes first!
Ava Addams bricks another one! Building something awful with their bare hands tonight!
This total unknown Lily Phillips dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Bonnie Blue can't contain the drive! Competing the game is more containable!
Mia Khalifa, this pocket rocket, sits down hard on the bench! Injury-prone body written all over her face!
Players head to the locker room. Mia Khalifa has tape on three fingers. Anecdote of the day: Mia Khalifa forgot her shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Bonnie Blue whiffs on the jumper! A tv host off their game with their bare hands!
Lily Phillips jogs instead of sprints! Conserving energy for competing the game tomorrow!
Ava Addams with the errant pass! This rising star needs to settle down!
Lily Phillips stares in disbelief! The look of a tv host who just lost everything!
Bonnie Blue shakes hands through the pain! A tv host who respects their bare hands and the game!
Mia Khalifa rips off her headband and throws it on the ground. Ava Addams picks up her own and folds it carefully. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
78-123 (L)
This generational talent Mia Khalifa gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Ava Addams, this low-to-the-ground speedster, gets the look but can't convert at half court!
Intercepted! Mia Khalifa's pass snatched right out of the air! A stunt performer would never be that careless!
Lily Phillips, this do-it-all player, gets blown by on the perimeter! Limited stamina in the legs!
Lily Phillips storms to the bench! Heated! This tv host doesn't handle losing well!
The players head to the locker room. Ava Addams is sweating like a racehorse. Did you know Ava Addams started basketball because she was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.
Lily Phillips misses from the corner! From the left corner is no place for their bare hands!
Mia Khalifa is huffing and puffing! Winded, even a stunt performer would call it quits!
Ava Addams with the backcourt violation! This who-is-this-guy player under too much pressure!
Bonnie Blue drives away from the huddle! This guy nobody was talking about in a dark place mentally!
Lily Phillips, this guy nobody was talking about, takes the loss hard. Defense that's basically a suggestion at the wrong moments.
Mia Khalifa's gaze is cold, distant. Bonnie Blue's gaze is hot, angry. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
82-127 (L)
Ava Addams wins the opening tip! Tipping off with tv host energy!
Bonnie Blue penetrates but the shot rims out! Heavy feet rears its ugly head!
This guy nobody was talking about Lily Phillips commits the 5-second violation! Clock management sometimes predictable game!
Lily Phillips gets blown by! Even a tv host couldn't stop that!
Lily Phillips, this smooth operator, pounds the scorer's table! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Both teams head to the locker room. Mia Khalifa wipes her forehead with her jersey. Fun fact: Mia Khalifa failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Bonnie Blue, this little firecracker, can't get an alley-oop to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Bonnie Blue, this guy nobody was talking about, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Mia Khalifa turns it over at the jump ball! A stunt performer dropping their bare hands at the worst time!
This potential breakout star Ava Addams gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Mia Khalifa, this short king, trudges off the gym. Lessons to take from this one.
Mia Khalifa walks head down toward the tunnel. Bonnie Blue drags her feet behind, shoulders slumped. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
89-133 (L)
This potential breakout star Ava Addams comes out aggressive! Opens with a layup facing the rim!
A thunderous slam attempt by Bonnie Blue falls short! Heavy feet in the legs!
Ava Addams passes to nobody! This surprise package with a head-scratching decision!
This potential breakout star Lily Phillips can't recover! Scored on back to the basket! Tendency to force bad shots!
Mia Khalifa shakes their head! A stunt performer who can't believe that just happened!
Halftime whistle! Bonnie Blue slides down against the hallway wall. Little secret: Bonnie Blue watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. The locker room empties, the court fills up. Act 2.
This rising star Bonnie Blue shanks a deep three in the paint! That's uncharacteristic!
Mia Khalifa misses from fatigue! This basketball god can't get the elevation facing the rim!
Ava Addams commits the live-ball turnover! Their bare hands would be ashamed!
This hungry young player Bonnie Blue can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
This dude out of nowhere Lily Phillips leaves the gym with head held high. Fought to the end.
Mia Khalifa sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Ava Addams has her head in her hands. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
89-134 (L)
Tip-off! Lily Phillips gets us started! Let's go!
Bonnie Blue misses the open look! A tv host never misses the game... But misses the pill!
Bonnie Blue botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Mia Khalifa, this compact dynamo, fouls unnecessarily on the low block! Hot head!
Bonnie Blue slams the ball in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
The players head in. Ava Addams slips on the wet tunnel floor. Quick anecdote about Ava Addams: apparently she eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Ava Addams, this unknown gem, with a contested and-one that misses at the top of the key!
Ava Addams bends over during the dead ball! This dude out of nowhere gathering what's left!
Mia Khalifa coughs it up! A stunt performer's grip doesn't work on the rock!
This guy nobody was talking about Ava Addams stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Bonnie Blue gave it everything! Everything a tv host has, left on the court!
Ava Addams bites the inside of her cheek. Lily Phillips pinches the bridge of her nose. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
78-123 (L)
Lily Phillips checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Bonnie Blue can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this player nobody saw coming!
Mia Khalifa throws it away! Injury-prone body under pressure in the paint!
Bonnie Blue overcommits! Going all-in like a tv host on the game, but wrong!
Ava Addams mouths off and picks up a T! Hot head taking over!
First half is done. Bonnie Blue is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Did you know? Bonnie Blue tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Mia Khalifa can't convert the open shot! Competing the game is way easier!
Lily Phillips asks for ice! Cooling down, even a tv host's engine needs a rest!
Ava Addams, this small but mighty player, gets the ball poked away! Lack of consistency when protecting the pill!
Mia Khalifa drops the head after another miss! Tendency to force bad shots sapping the confidence!
Mia Khalifa consoles teammates! The heart of a stunt performer in that moment!
Bonnie Blue slams her fist on the bench. Lily Phillips places her palm flat, as if to calm the surface. Evening confession: I'm wearing Bonnie Blue's jersey under my shirt. For morale. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
78-122 (L)
Lily Phillips, this surprise package, embraces the cathedral silence! Game on!
Lily Phillips misses the layup! Even the game would have gone in easier!
This newcomer Bonnie Blue forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Lily Phillips reacts too late to rotate! Sometimes predictable game on the help side!
Mia Khalifa picks up the second technical! This first-ballot legend ejected! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Break. Ava Addams collapses next to the vending machine. Did you know Ava Addams entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Lily Phillips goes 0 for the quarter! A tv host having a rough shift with their bare hands!
Ava Addams gulps water! As thirsty as a tv host reaching for the game!
Bonnie Blue throws it into traffic! Reckless pass, the tv host got too confident!
Lily Phillips glares at the scoreboard! This hungry young player not happy with the situation!
Bonnie Blue, this surprise package, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Ava Addams taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Lily Phillips walks through the door without pushing it. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
88-132 (L)
Ava Addams opens with a scoop layup! This potential breakout star making an early statement!
This dude out of nowhere Ava Addams whiffs on a bank shot! The crowd groans!
Ava Addams throws it away! A pass worse than a tv host tossing the game!
Ava Addams, this elusive guard, can't keep up with the speed! Heavy feet exposed!
Bonnie Blue, this raw talent, barks at the teammate! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking over!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Bonnie Blue to massage her thighs. Exclusive: Bonnie Blue was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Bonnie Blue misfires at half court! Their bare hands calibration needed!
Ava Addams gets the cramp timeout! Cramping from competing the game and hooping!
This guy nobody was talking about Lily Phillips commits the offensive foul! Turnover under the basket!
Ava Addams drives angrily after the turnover! This surprise package spiraling!
Bonnie Blue tips the cap to the winners! The tv host's grace with the game!
Bonnie Blue stares at her hands like she doesn't recognize them. Mia Khalifa exhales. Again. And again. I learned that Bonnie Blue's father was a tv host. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Bonnie Blue.
Season journal
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
