My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
2 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby! There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Jesus Christ. A messiah. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a messiah, with bare hands, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Jesus Christ has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the game with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. The budget is like the guy who goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, orders one entree and splits the dessert. It's not poverty, but it's not the high life either. They've got a decent roster, nobody's complaining, but nobody's saying "damn, what a squad" either. Solid without being spectacular. The kind of team that beats you on a Tuesday and you've forgotten about them by Wednesday morning. But underestimate them and they'll make you pay.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
87-132 (L)
LeBron James attacks into position! This potential GOAT not wasting any time!
LeBron James rushes a euro-step in the paint! Hot head creeping in!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, gets stripped at the buzzer! Shaky emotions under pressure exposed!
Jesus Christ can't contain the drive! Competing the game is more containable!
LeBron James, this absolute unit, shows negative body language! Shaky emotions under pressure creeping in!
Break time. Jesus Christ bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Juicy intel: Jesus Christ turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
LeBron James, this undisputed superstar, comes up empty! An off-balance shot off target in the paint!
LeBron James, this first-ballot legend, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
LeBron James charges right into the defender! Turnover! Limited stamina when controlling pace!
LeBron James mutters to himself walking back! This franchise cornerstone fighting inner demons!
LeBron James explodes to the tunnel in disappointment. This first-ballot legend will learn from this.
LeBron James mutters while walking out. Jesus Christ watches from the corner of his eye, worried. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
100-123 (L)
The game begins and Jesus Christ is ready! You can see a gym-rat work ethic written all over his face!
LeBron James, this hall-of-fame lock, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
This potential GOAT LeBron James gets pickpocketed facing the rim! Sloppy handling!
LeBron James gives up the back door! Shaky emotions under pressure when overplaying!
LeBron James rises up the ball beautifully for a tear drop! What touch!
Halftime. LeBron James wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Little secret: LeBron James watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
LeBron James drops the head after another miss! Defense that's basically a suggestion sapping the confidence!
Jesus Christ blows past the damn ball right into the defender's hands! Heavy feet!
LeBron James, this titan, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Night-in night-out consistency!
LeBron James penetrates but the legs won't cooperate! Defense that's basically a suggestion catching up!
This generational talent LeBron James congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this generational talent.
LeBron James watches the crowd file out in silence. Jesus Christ prefers not to look. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
84-115 (L)
Tip-off! LeBron James gets us started! Let's go!
Jesus Christ can't buy a bucket! Maybe the game would be easier to aim!
LeBron James, this giant, steps out of bounds with the orange! Mental lapse!
Jesus Christ can't stay in front! Competing the game doesn't build lateral quickness!
Jesus Christ glares at the orange! Like it personally betrayed this messiah!
Break time. Jesus Christ bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know? Jesus Christ has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
This once-in-a-lifetime player LeBron James short-arms a scoop layup from the right corner! Not enough lift!
This first-ballot legend LeBron James can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
LeBron James throws it away! Tendency to rush under pressure at the top of the key!
LeBron James blows past angrily after the turnover! This certified GOAT candidate spiraling!
LeBron James, this absolute legend, takes the loss hard. Heavy feet at the wrong moments.
LeBron James isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Jesus Christ tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
82-120 (L)
Jesus Christ wins the opening tip! Tipping off with messiah energy!
LeBron James can't buy a bucket! Another miss driving to the hoop! Frustrating!
This once-in-a-lifetime player LeBron James loses concentration and the orange with it!
LeBron James turns the head and loses the man! This undisputed superstar napping defensively!
LeBron James storms to the bench! This all-time great is visibly upset!
Break! Jesus Christ rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Rumor has it Jesus Christ tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Jesus Christ heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
LeBron James is cramping up! This potential GOAT trying to shake it off! Injury-prone body!
LeBron James, this towering presence, gets the ball poked away! Ego the size of Texas when protecting the basketball!
LeBron James slams the Wilson in frustration! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
LeBron James walks off in silence. This generational talent gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Jesus Christ refuses the coach's embrace. LeBron James accepts it but his body is stiff. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
87-131 (L)
Jesus Christ checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
LeBron James takes a tough sky hook and it doesn't go! Occasional mental lapses in shot selection!
LeBron James coughs up the Wilson! Lack of consistency strikes again back to the basket!
Jesus Christ, this combo guard, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over tendency to rush!
LeBron James gets a technical for complaining! Injury-prone body on full display!
The locker room. Jesus Christ sprawls out full-length on the bench. Anecdote: Jesus Christ tried to impress the Phoenix No-Defense players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
LeBron James, this long boy, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Shaky emotions under pressure!
LeBron James is gassed! This hall-of-fame lock bent over at half court! Defense that's basically a suggestion catching up!
Jesus Christ loses the orange! A messiah would never be this careless!
LeBron James posts up and kicks the stanchion! This household name losing composure!
This global icon Jesus Christ stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this global icon wanted.
Jesus Christ turns back to look at the court one last time. LeBron James doesn't turn around. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
73-118 (L)
LeBron James takes off onto the floor! The crowd roars for this hall-of-fame lock!
Brick! LeBron James misfires along the baseline! Shaky emotions under pressure at the worst time!
Jesus Christ trips up in the perimeter! A messiah never trips at work... Right?
Jesus Christ watches helplessly! A messiah watching the game fall off the shelf!
This household name LeBron James shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Break. LeBron James collapses next to the vending machine. I've been told LeBron James once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Jesus Christ misses the open look! A messiah never misses the game... But misses the rock!
LeBron James, this towering presence, with tired legs on the low block! Heavy feet slowing this all-time great down!
LeBron James launches the rock right to the defense! Costly mistake by this undisputed superstar!
Jesus Christ stares in disbelief! The look of a messiah who just lost everything!
LeBron James, this mammoth, trudges off the court. Lessons to take from this one.
Jesus Christ pulls his cap down over his eyes. LeBron James doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
74-118 (L)
This once-in-a-lifetime player LeBron James comes out aggressive! Opens with a finger roll under the basket!
Jesus Christ with the contested pull-up jumper from the left corner! No good! Bad selection!
Jesus Christ with the lazy pass! Lack of consistency leading to easy points!
Jesus Christ gets posterized! A messiah framed by their bare hands in the worst way!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, waves off the play call! Ego the size of Texas hurting the team!
Halftime! Jesus Christ is limping slightly heading off the court. Little scoop: Jesus Christ collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. Break's over, the players take their positions.
This first-ballot legend LeBron James puts up a hook shot but it won't fall! Off night!
Jesus Christ, this household name, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Jesus Christ with the bad read! Misreading the play like misreading the game!
LeBron James glares at the scoreboard! This undisputed superstar not happy with the situation!
Jesus Christ takes the loss hard! Hard as the game on a bad messiah day!
Jesus Christ's eyes are red, jaw tight. LeBron James apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
80-124 (L)
The den welcomes Jesus Christ! The messiah with the game has arrived!
This global icon Jesus Christ whiffs on an and-one! The crowd groans!
Jesus Christ, this swiss-army-knife type, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted driving to the hoop!
LeBron James overcommits and gets beat! Ego the size of Texas when reading the play!
This absolute legend LeBron James hangs the head after the miss! Deflated at the buzzer!
Break time. LeBron James bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know LeBron James started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Jesus Christ penetrates the ball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Jesus Christ jogs instead of sprints! Conserving energy for competing the game tomorrow!
LeBron James pulls up into a dead end in transition! Turnover! Ego the size of Texas!
LeBron James, this generational talent, refuses to high-five! Sometimes predictable game hurting the chemistry!
LeBron James had the chances but couldn't convert. This basketball god left wanting.
Jesus Christ's gaze is cold, distant. LeBron James's gaze is hot, angry. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
77-122 (L)
Jesus Christ steps onto the field house! From competing the game to this, game time!
An alley-oop from Jesus Christ goes in and out! Heartbreaking from the left corner!
LeBron James, this oversized freak, commits the travel! Limited stamina in the footwork!
LeBron James loses the screen battle! Shaky emotions under pressure around the picks!
LeBron James can't mask the disappointment! This all-time great wearing it on the sleeve!
End of the first act. Jesus Christ is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Fun fact: Jesus Christ blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
LeBron James drives the rock into nothing! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display tonight!
Jesus Christ misses from fatigue! Tired arms from competing the game all week!
Jesus Christ commits the live-ball turnover! Their bare hands would be ashamed!
Jesus Christ can't hide the frustration! Their bare hands frustration meets the rock frustration!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James leaves the gym with head held high. Fought to the end.
LeBron James isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Jesus Christ tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
81-125 (L)
Jesus Christ, this living legend, draws first blood! A scoop layup to start!
LeBron James, this mammoth, can't finish on the low block! That one stings!
LeBron James dribbles into a trap! Lack of consistency when reading the defense!
This potential GOAT LeBron James bites on the fake! Beaten driving to the hoop!
Jesus Christ dribbles the towel! This certified GOAT candidate showing occasional mental lapses!
End of the second quarter. Jesus Christ is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. True story: Jesus Christ had his parking spot stolen by Denver Horse-Track's mascot. Still talks about it. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Jesus Christ, this swiss-army-knife type, wastes a golden chance with a wild finger roll!
LeBron James, this titan, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Stolen from Jesus Christ! A messiah who let it slip through their fingers!
This undisputed superstar LeBron James stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Jesus Christ absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, a messiah knows tough days!
LeBron James watches the crowd file out in silence. Jesus Christ prefers not to look. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
73-118 (L)
LeBron James rises up with energy from the opening whistle! This global icon locked in!
Jesus Christ gets a clean look but hot head costs the bucket!
LeBron James loses the Wilson in traffic! This hall-of-fame lock can't afford that!
This generational talent Jesus Christ gives up the offensive rebound! Tendency to rush when boxing out!
This undisputed superstar LeBron James slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Back to the locker room. Jesus Christ's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Fun fact: Jesus Christ failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
LeBron James, this guy with rings on every finger, fumbles the finish facing the rim! Back to the drawing board!
This generational talent LeBron James has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Jesus Christ with the backcourt violation! A messiah going backwards with the game!
LeBron James, this colossus, throws the hands up! Exasperated from the right corner!
This basketball god LeBron James shakes hands and moves on. In the end, hot head proved costly.
Jesus Christ hurls his water bottle at the wall. LeBron James flinches but doesn't react. Did you know that LeBron James practices messiah on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
82-127 (L)
This household name Jesus Christ gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
LeBron James, this long boy, gets stuffed trying a pull-up jumper! Denied!
LeBron James tries to be too fancy and loses the orange! Tendency to force bad shots in the decision-making!
Jesus Christ gets blown by! Even a messiah couldn't stop that!
This household name Jesus Christ fouls hard out of frustration! Lack of consistency showing!
Back to the locker room. Jesus Christ punches his locker. Anecdote: Jesus Christ fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
This once-in-a-lifetime player LeBron James with a rare miss facing the rim! Even the best stumble!
This certified GOAT candidate LeBron James is a warrior but the body says no! The 4 periods of 12 minutes of war!
LeBron James, this mammoth, gets called for the carry! Tendency to rush in ball-handling!
LeBron James mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
Jesus Christ walks off in defeat! Even a messiah's skills couldn't save tonight!
Jesus Christ takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. LeBron James follows the same path. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
75-120 (L)
Jesus Christ announces themselves! The messiah has arrived and the building knows it!
Jesus Christ forces a pull-up jumper from downtown! This franchise cornerstone trying too hard!
This global icon Jesus Christ commits the offensive foul! Turnover in transition!
Jesus Christ gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the game on a rough day!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Players head to the locker room. LeBron James has tape on three fingers. They say LeBron James eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
Jesus Christ misfires on the floater! Too much float, the messiah touch abandoned them!
LeBron James, this towering presence, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Jesus Christ throws it out of bounds! Like launching their bare hands into the void!
Jesus Christ argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Jesus Christ consoles teammates! The heart of a messiah in that moment!
Jesus Christ's eyes are red, jaw tight. LeBron James apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
83-127 (L)
Jesus Christ sets the tone early! The messiah came to play tonight!
Jesus Christ can't find the range! Their bare hands has better accuracy than that!
This first-ballot legend LeBron James with turnover number buckets! Heavy feet is piling up!
Jesus Christ gets screened out of the play! This certified GOAT candidate lost in traffic!
LeBron James, this potential GOAT, with the frustrated foul! Sometimes predictable game in tough moments!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, LeBron James picks up the pace. Word is LeBron James sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Jesus Christ gets the friendly rim but no luck! Even the messiah touch can't save that one!
Jesus Christ is dead on their feet! Running on fumes, the messiah is spent!
Jesus Christ loses possession! The game never leaves a messiah's hands like that!
LeBron James, this beanpole, pounds the scorer's table! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Jesus Christ packs up and heads out! Packing their bare hands, unpacking emotions!
Jesus Christ walks in slow motion, arms dangling. LeBron James speeds up. Wants it to be over. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Jesus Christ's name. Forgive me. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
89-134 (L)
Jesus Christ, this potential GOAT, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Jesus Christ can't convert the open shot! Competing the game is way easier!
This generational talent LeBron James forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
LeBron James gets posted up and scored on! This guy with rings on every finger overpowered!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, sits down hard on the bench! Tendency to rush written all over his face!
The players head to the locker room. LeBron James is sweating like a racehorse. Anecdote: LeBron James slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
LeBron James forces a bad bucket! This all-time great needs to trust teammates!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James stumbles! The fatigue is real after the allotted time!
This generational talent LeBron James with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Jesus Christ storms to the bench! Heated! This messiah doesn't handle losing well!
LeBron James reflects on what could have been. Tendency to rush the difference tonight.
LeBron James refuses the coach's embrace. Jesus Christ accepts it but his body is stiff. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Alright, sit your ass down for two minutes because tonight we're not messing around, we're diving headfirst into a sold-out arena that smells like rubber and sweat, with 20,000 fans ready to lose their damn voices. We're about to relive the saga of a franchise that's seen it all: the glory years when they bulldozed the league, the dark ages when nothing went in, and the Draft-night strokes of genius that brought them back to the summit. This ain't just basketball, this is American legend carried by physical freaks who aren't here to play nice, they're here to carve their names into NBA history with psycho stat lines and rim-rattling dunks that shake the whole damn building. The team with no name, baby!
There's one guy on this team who scares the living hell out of everyone. Opponents, coaches, referees, even his own teammates sometimes. That's LeBron James. Standing at 206 cm, shoulders like a linebacker, and a touch on the ball so soft it makes you want to cry. This damn player can drop 40 one night, grab 15 boards the next, and slap you with a triple-double night after just because he was bored. The kind of guy you want on your squad and pray you never have to face.
The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Jesus Christ. A messiah. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a messiah, with bare hands, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Jesus Christ has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the game with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee.
The budget is like the guy who goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, orders one entree and splits the dessert. It's not poverty, but it's not the high life either. They've got a decent roster, nobody's complaining, but nobody's saying "damn, what a squad" either. Solid without being spectacular. The kind of team that beats you on a Tuesday and you've forgotten about them by Wednesday morning. But underestimate them and they'll make you pay.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
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