My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Sean Combs is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. The man is massive, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. Attention, things are about to get serious. Actually no, things are about to go completely off the rails. The front office signed Sean Combs. The man is a philanthropist. Yes, you heard that right. A philanthropist. On a basketball court. With bare hands in his gym bag and zero understanding of what a pick-and-roll is. The coach says it's a "bet on raw athleticism" but between us, I'm pretty sure he lost a poker bet. Sean Combs had his first practice yesterday and asked if the free throw line was home plate. The teammates are dying laughing, the fans don't know whether to cry or applaud, and the GM was spotted updating his resume on LinkedIn. Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
73-118 (L)
Scrooge McDuck bounces the leather pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Joe Biden launches a bucket and... Airball! Occasional mental lapses at its peak!
Saxton Hale throws it out of bounds! Like launching their leather briefcase into the void!
Kanye West overcommits! Going all-in like a rapper on the fiery bars, but wrong!
Joe Biden slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a university professor hits the workbench!
Halftime! Scrooge McDuck is limping slightly heading off the court. Anecdote of the day: Scrooge McDuck forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Saxton Hale misses the layup! Even the big deal would have gone in easier!
Joe Biden calls for the sub! Even a university professor's stamina with their lecture notes has limits!
Joe Biden dribbles it off their foot! Their lecture notes would never betray a university professor like that!
This undisputed superstar Joe Biden fouls hard out of frustration! Hot head showing!
Scrooge McDuck dunks past the media. This established star not in the mood to talk.
Joe Biden walks in slow motion, arms dangling. Sean Combs speeds up. Wants it to be over. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
81-125 (L)
The court welcomes Scrooge McDuck! The adventurer with the game has arrived!
Kanye West, this certified GOAT candidate, pulls the trigger from way beyond the arc but no luck!
Scrooge McDuck trips up in the free-throw line! An adventurer never trips at work... Right?
Joe Biden falls asleep on the weak side! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Sean Combs buries their face! Hidden from view, the philanthropist can't watch!
That's a wrap for now. Sean Combs dives into the tunnel. Confession: Sean Combs believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Joe Biden can't get it to fall! Gravity treats the ball differently than the young scholars!
Sean Combs looks to the bench for relief! Relief like a philanthropist relieved of their bare hands!
Sean Combs throws it into the stands! What was that from this big-name player!
Joe Biden shoots the towel! This once-in-a-lifetime player showing hot head!
Joe Biden hangs their head! A university professor who gave everything they had!
Kanye West refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Sean Combs watches it and immediately regrets it. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
103-111 (L)
The game begins and Saxton Hale is ready! You can see iron discipline written all over his face!
Scrooge McDuck misfires off the pick and roll! Their bare hands calibration needed!
Scrooge McDuck throws it away! Injury-prone body under pressure on the low block!
Sean Combs loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
Sean Combs scores off the glass! Bank shot precision of a philanthropist!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Scrooge McDuck picks up the pace. Did you know Scrooge McDuck entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Joe Biden looks to the heavens! A university professor praying for their lecture notes to work!
Air ball from Joe Biden! Being a university professor doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
Scrooge McDuck goes to the post! That adventurer strength is showing!
Kanye West misses from fatigue! This undisputed superstar can't get the elevation from mid-range!
Sean Combs wipes a tear! A philanthropist who poured everything into the effort!
Saxton Hale pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Scrooge McDuck takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
115-107 (W)
Joe Biden takes the court to a boiling cauldron! The university professor with their lecture notes is here!
Scrooge McDuck with the reverse layup! Creative as an adventurer with the game!
This world-class player Scrooge McDuck with the volleyball spike a defensive stop! Emphatic!
Joe Biden feeds the post! Nourishing the play with pure university professor instinct!
Saxton Hale makes the hockey assist! The unsung play of a businessperson behind the big deal!
Break. Sean Combs collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Word is Sean Combs sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
This max-contract guy Sean Combs erupts for an and-one! The floodgates are open!
A roaring arena reaches fever pitch as Kanye West takes the floor!
Kanye West puts ego aside! The team comes first for this basketball god!
This is the Sean Combs game! This bonafide star taking over in the final quarter!
It's over! Kanye West delivers the goods! This guy with rings on every finger walks off a winner!
Saxton Hale and Sean Combs pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
113-109 (W)
Saxton Hale takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Joe Biden with a double team! The reflexes of a university professor catching the young scholars!
Joe Biden misses! Even a university professor can't fix that shot!
Sean Combs drills it in the paint! That philanthropist precision with their bare hands pays off!
Saxton Hale positions perfectly in the free-throw line! Placement of their leather briefcase on the big deal!
Break! Joe Biden rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Little scoop: Joe Biden logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Sean Combs, this versatile guy, hits the big shot! During crunch time! That's a closer!
Joe Biden stands firm! Not moving, this university professor is planted!
Sean Combs signs a kid's the game! The philanthropist meets the next generation!
Joe Biden hits nothing but net! A buzzer-beater in the extra period! Silky smooth technique!
Kanye West tosses the Spalding in the air! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! This franchise cornerstone mission accomplished!
Saxton Hale drops to his knees and kisses the court. Kanye West pretends to gag. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
85-106 (L)
Joe Biden locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a university professor who means business!
Kanye West can't find the range! Their hot mic has better accuracy than that!
Kanye West with the careless pass! Spitting the fiery bars with more care, please!
Joe Biden can't stay in front! Challenging the young scholars doesn't build lateral quickness!
Kanye West converts along the baseline! A two-handed slam with trademark night-in night-out consistency!
Break. Kanye West's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Anecdote: Kanye West once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Scrooge McDuck drops their shoulders! Deflated, even an adventurer's spirit has limits!
An off-balance shot from Joe Biden catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Kanye West uses the hesitation dribble! Insane court vision creating separation!
Joe Biden is running on pure willpower! This living legend refusing to quit!
Saxton Hale sits alone on the bench. This player nobody saw coming processing the defeat.
Joe Biden scratches the back of his neck nervously. Sean Combs has the look of someone who has seen things. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
99-121 (L)
Scrooge McDuck stretches center court! Loosening up, the adventurer is getting ready!
Joe Biden bricks it! Not the same accuracy as challenging the young scholars!
This basketball god Kanye West dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Scrooge McDuck gets screened out of the play! This reliable star lost in traffic!
Kanye West converts at half court! A rapper converting the fiery bars into gold!
Break! Scrooge McDuck heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Exclusive: Scrooge McDuck was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Sean Combs, this swiss-army-knife type, waves off the play call! Sometimes predictable game hurting the team!
Joe Biden, this absolute legend, with a contested double-clutch layup that misses at the buzzer!
Saxton Hale makes the hockey pass! An off-the-charts basketball IQ finding the extra pass!
Saxton Hale struggles in the first quarter! The businessperson hitting the wall with the big deal!
Kanye West gave it everything! Everything a rapper has, left on the court!
Joe Biden collapses into the first available chair. Sean Combs stays standing, eyes glazed over. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
88-109 (L)
Saxton Hale, this solid build, sets the tone immediately! A killer instinct from the jump!
Joe Biden misses from the corner! On the low block is no place for their lecture notes!
Kanye West double-dribbles! Spitting the fiery bars doesn't have that rule!
Joe Biden gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the young scholars on a rough day!
Scrooge McDuck with the teardrop scoop layup! Beautiful as an adventurer's finest the game!
End of the first half. Kanye West is beet red but still standing. Did you know? Kanye West tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Scrooge McDuck can't mask the disappointment! This top-tier talent wearing it on the sleeve!
Saxton Hale clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their leather briefcase hitting the big deal!
Sean Combs runs the offense! Running it like a philanthropist runs the show!
Saxton Hale, this combo guard, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Sean Combs vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Scrooge McDuck stares at his hands like he doesn't recognize them. Kanye West exhales. Again. And again. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
102-114 (L)
Saxton Hale sets the tone early! The businessperson came to play tonight!
Joe Biden misfires from the right corner! This living legend searching for answers!
Sean Combs, this swiss-army-knife type, gets stripped on the low block! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
Kanye West, this solid build, gets dunked on driving to the hoop! Poster material!
Sean Combs converts with authority! Same energy they bring to competing the game!
Halftime! Saxton Hale walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. I've been told Saxton Hale once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Saxton Hale mouths off and picks up a T! Occasional mental lapses taking over!
Scrooge McDuck heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
Kanye West reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this rapper!
Scrooge McDuck is cramping up! This max-contract guy trying to shake it off! Sometimes predictable game!
Saxton Hale refuses to make excuses! A businessperson owns the big deal failures too!
Joe Biden refuses Houston Blast-Off's handshake. Sean Combs offers a limp one with just his fingertips. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
86-106 (L)
Scrooge McDuck checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
This global icon Kanye West puts up a double-clutch layup but it won't fall! Off night!
Joe Biden commits the live-ball turnover! Their lecture notes would be ashamed!
Joe Biden beaten to the spot! Slower than a university professor on a Monday morning!
Joe Biden, this once-in-a-lifetime player, threads the needle for a bucket off the pick and roll!
Break time. Saxton Hale bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Did you know Saxton Hale keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Saxton Hale gets a technical for complaining! Heavy feet on full display!
This global icon Joe Biden rattles it out! So close yet so far in transition!
Saxton Hale manipulates the defense! Manipulation worthy of their leather briefcase on the big deal!
Saxton Hale goes to work a step slower than usual! Hot head in the tank!
This hall-of-fame lock Joe Biden stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this hall-of-fame lock wanted.
Joe Biden slams his fist on the bench. Sean Combs places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. Behind the scenes, I learned Sean Combs was also a university professor in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
91-121 (L)
Opening possession for Kanye West! First touch, like first touch of their hot mic!
This rising star Saxton Hale shanks a hook shot from the left corner! That's uncharacteristic!
Sean Combs, this all-around player, gets called for the carry! Shaky emotions under pressure in ball-handling!
Scrooge McDuck overcommits and gets beat! Lack of consistency when reading the play!
Sean Combs, this jersey-selling name, unleashes a bucket off the pick and roll! Bang!
Break. Kanye West's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Quick anecdote about Kanye West: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Kanye West tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the rapper will bounce back!
Kanye West misses the free throw! Spitting the fiery bars under pressure is easier!
Saxton Hale communicates the switch! Clear as a businessperson's instructions!
This franchise guy Scrooge McDuck can barely get up the court! Fatigue setting in!
Saxton Hale leaves the temple of basketball quietly! Quiet as a businessperson after the big deal setback!
Sean Combs clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Scrooge McDuck fidgets with his wristband nervously. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
83-128 (L)
Game time! Joe Biden and this all-time great ready to put on a show at the den!
Joe Biden denied by the basket! Even a university professor can't pry it open!
Saxton Hale loses the pill in traffic! This hungry young player can't afford that!
This established star Sean Combs can't recover! Scored on from mid-range! Tendency to rush!
Joe Biden kicks the air! The frustration of a university professor who knows they can do better!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Kanye West asks for an ice pack. Did you know? Kanye West has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Kanye West shoots short! Not enough juice! Even a rapper would cringe!
Saxton Hale is huffing and puffing! Winded, even a businessperson would call it quits!
Joe Biden throws it away! A pass worse than a university professor tossing the young scholars!
Kanye West shakes their head! A rapper who can't believe that just happened!
Scrooge McDuck consoles teammates! The heart of an adventurer in that moment!
Scrooge McDuck lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Kanye West holds his in. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Kanye West. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
86-130 (L)
Kanye West, this hall-of-fame lock, embraces the palpable tension! Game on!
Sean Combs fires away but it's well off! Shaky emotions under pressure under fatigue!
Saxton Hale with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost businessperson!
Scrooge McDuck, this smooth operator, can't keep up with the speed! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed!
Kanye West throws their hands up! Like a rapper when their hot mic breaks!
The players head in. Scrooge McDuck slips on the wet tunnel floor. Locker room intel: Scrooge McDuck has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Kanye West, this potential GOAT, comes up empty! A tear drop off target from downtown!
Kanye West stumbles on the play! Stumbling like a rapper over the fiery bars!
Kanye West tries to be too fancy and loses the pill! Sometimes predictable game in the decision-making!
Sean Combs argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Scrooge McDuck, this tweener, hangs the head. Tough loss despite ridiculous creativity effort.
Joe Biden rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Saxton Hale picks up his own and folds it carefully. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
97-110 (L)
This who-is-this-guy player Saxton Hale in the starting lineup! Let's see what this who-is-this-guy player brings!
Saxton Hale launches and misses! The damn ball isn't the big deal, and it shows!
Stolen from Scrooge McDuck! An adventurer who let it slip through their fingers!
Sean Combs, this versatile guy, fouls unnecessarily under the basket! Heavy feet!
A reverse layup by Kanye West! The crowd erupts! Ridiculous creativity personified!
Halftime. Sean Combs wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Exclusive: Sean Combs was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Saxton Hale vents at their teammates! The businessperson who vents about the big deal!
Sean Combs with a wild attempt! This jersey-selling name not finding the range tonight!
Sean Combs pins the defender! Pinning them down with philanthropist authority!
Sean Combs grimaces through the effort! The grimace of a philanthropist finishing the game!
Sean Combs walks off in defeat! Even a philanthropist's skills couldn't save tonight!
Sean Combs takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Joe Biden doesn't drink. Throat too tight. I learned tonight that Sean Combs used to be a university professor. That explains the unique running style. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
82-126 (L)
Saxton Hale, this all-around player, announced to huge cheers! A sold-out gym on fire!
Kanye West gets blocked! Rejected harder than a rapper's worst day on the job!
This diamond in the rough Saxton Hale with turnover number lengths ahead! Heavy feet is piling up!
Joe Biden loses the battle in the paint! Being a university professor doesn't help you here!
Joe Biden storms to the bench! This hall-of-fame lock is visibly upset!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Scrooge McDuck asks for an ice pack. Fun fact: Scrooge McDuck failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Kanye West fires an off-balance shot in the paint but can't connect! Lack of consistency showing!
Sean Combs tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a philanthropist's energy for the game!
This basketball god Joe Biden gets pickpocketed from downtown! Sloppy handling!
Sean Combs stares in disbelief! The look of a philanthropist who just lost everything!
Saxton Hale fades away to the tunnel in disappointment. This hidden prospect will learn from this.
Joe Biden collapses into the first available chair. Sean Combs stays standing, eyes glazed over. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
My Team finishes #16 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Sean Combs.
Season Journal
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to what is probably going to be the most electric night of this season. The arena is packed to the rafters, there are people standing in the corridors, security gave up trying to control anything, and the DJ is blasting so loud the scoreboard is vibrating. We are here to talk about a legendary franchise. A team that has seen sacred monsters pass through, that has lived through dream seasons and nightmare years, that has rebuilt ten times over and always comes back with the same devouring hunger. The team with no name, baby!
Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but Sean Combs is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. The man is massive, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery.
I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it.
Attention, things are about to get serious. Actually no, things are about to go completely off the rails. The front office signed Sean Combs. The man is a philanthropist. Yes, you heard that right. A philanthropist. On a basketball court. With bare hands in his gym bag and zero understanding of what a pick-and-roll is. The coach says it's a "bet on raw athleticism" but between us, I'm pretty sure he lost a poker bet. Sean Combs had his first practice yesterday and asked if the free throw line was home plate. The teammates are dying laughing, the fans don't know whether to cry or applaud, and the GM was spotted updating his resume on LinkedIn.
Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
My Team finishes #16 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Sean Combs.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
.jpg?width=300&width=400)
