My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | New York Over-Timers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | My Team | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby! Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but LaMelo Ball is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 200 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Scott Lang. An amateur in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Scott Lang has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. Financially, this team is operating in another dimension. The salary cap? Never heard of it. The luxury tax? Paid with a smile. The owner sold two of his yachts to fund this roster and he'd do it again tomorrow morning. Every player on this bench earns more in a week than most people do in a year, and not a single one of them is here to ride the pine. This is a team built to win NOW. Not tomorrow, not next season. Tonight.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
84-129 (L)
Tip-off! Kevin Durant gets us started! Let's go!
Kevin Durant, this beanpole, loses the handle and the opportunity! Tendency to rush!
Kevin Durant loses the rock in traffic! This certified bucket can't afford that!
Scott Lang gets posted up and scored on! This seasoned vet overpowered!
This multi-time All-Star Terry Crews gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Halftime whistle! Stephen Curry slides down against the hallway wall. Anecdote: Stephen Curry tried to impress the Detroit Engine-Roar players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
A thunderous slam attempt by Kevin Durant falls short! Shaky emotions under pressure in the legs!
Stephen Curry is cramping up! This headliner trying to shake it off! Tendency to rush!
Terry Crews passes to nobody! This multi-time All-Star with a head-scratching decision!
This reliable star Stephen Curry shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
This big-name player Terry Crews congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this big-name player.
Stephen Curry's lip is trembling. Scott Lang dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. That's all! Coming up: 'Hotel Hell: Airbnb With No Lock Edition.' Chills guaranteed.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
116-99 (W)
This name that's buzzing Scott Lang gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
What a play by LaMelo Ball! A reverse layup facing the rim! This seasoned vet is cooking!
Stephen Curry with the full-court pressure! This multi-time All-Star making them uncomfortable!
Scott Lang, this respected competitor, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a two-handed slam!
LaMelo Ball, this giant, sets a brick-wall screen! Silky smooth technique on full display!
That's a wrap for now. Terry Crews dives into the tunnel. Anecdote: Terry Crews once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Scott Lang, this solid build, elevates for a monster alley-oop!
The crowd is on its feet! A hostile crowd as Kevin Durant takes the court!
LaMelo Ball rises up the outlet to the young player! This seasoned vet building the future!
What a journey for LaMelo Ball! From the bench to the spotlight! You love to see it!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, salutes the faithful! A primal scream! What a night!
LaMelo Ball and Terry Crews stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
117-83 (W)
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry catches the basketball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
This respected competitor LaMelo Ball goes to work from mid-range! A euro-step drops beautifully!
This established player Scott Lang exploits the gap! Dime to the corner for a catch-and-shoot triple!
This bonafide star Terry Crews with a picture-perfect two-handed slam! The crowd goes wild!
This max-contract guy Kevin Durant with a monster swat from the right corner! Intimidating!
The players head to the locker room. Terry Crews is sweating like a racehorse. Did you know? Terry Crews launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
LaMelo Ball pulls up and drills a euro-step! Can't teach that!
Terry Crews, this swiss-army-knife type, makes it look like practice! Total domination!
Kevin Durant, this 7-footer, guard's the basketball like a running back! Wrong sport!
Terry Crews blows a kiss to the fans! Cool as you like, a bench mob celebration!
This world-class player Stephen Curry walks off to a standing ovation! A Playoff atmosphere! Incredible!
Stephen Curry and Terry Crews cradle the game ball like a baby. LaMelo Ball takes a photo. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
109-84 (W)
LaMelo Ball explodes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this solid pro!
A pull-up jumper from Terry Crews! That's an off-the-charts basketball IQ at the highest level!
Kevin Durant, this big fella, smothers the ball-handler! No options!
This big-name player Kevin Durant finds the open man! Assist and a layup!
Scott Lang uses the hesitation dribble! Iron discipline creating separation!
Halftime! Kevin Durant looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Intel: Kevin Durant once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Scott Lang knocks down a double-clutch layup from the right corner! Ice in the veins!
Wild stands fills the arena! This well-respected player Scott Lang feeds off the energy!
Stephen Curry, this certified bucket, picks up the fallen teammate! Freakish explosiveness beyond the stats!
This reliable star Kevin Durant channels the inner champion! Silky smooth technique at its peak!
This seasoned vet Scott Lang caps off a special night! A hug with the coach! Until next time!
Terry Crews gives his headband to a kid in the crowd. Kevin Durant gives his shoes. Scott Lang gives his water bottle. The kid is overwhelmed. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
101-116 (L)
This headliner Terry Crews comes out aggressive! Opens with an alley-oop from way beyond the arc!
Terry Crews, this headliner, fumbles the finish from the right corner! Back to the drawing board!
This All-Star caliber talent Kevin Durant dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Terry Crews scores at will! A deep three in transition! This All-Star caliber talent domination!
Break. LaMelo Ball asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. They say LaMelo Ball eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Scott Lang, this solid pro, refuses to high-five! Lack of consistency hurting the chemistry!
Stephen Curry, this bonafide star, sends the ball wide! The touch is off tonight!
Stephen Curry reads the defense perfectly! An off-the-charts basketball IQ and a sky-high basketball IQ!
LaMelo Ball grabs the shorts! This solid pro is running on fumes!
Scott Lang had the chances but couldn't convert. This up-and-coming baller left wanting.
Stephen Curry refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. LaMelo Ball watches it and immediately regrets it. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
80-120 (L)
Scott Lang opens with a floater! This seasoned vet making an early statement!
Brick! Kevin Durant misfires off the pick and roll! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Kevin Durant with the backcourt violation! This established star under too much pressure!
Scott Lang, this smooth operator, gets blown by on the perimeter! Shaky emotions under pressure in the legs!
This player on the come-up Scott Lang slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Break. Terry Crews's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Anecdote: Terry Crews once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
A scoop layup from LaMelo Ball hits the iron! Limited stamina under the spotlight!
Stephen Curry is visibly tired! This All-Star caliber talent needs a timeout badly!
Kevin Durant explodes the damn ball right to the defense! Costly mistake by this world-class player!
Terry Crews, this versatile guy, sits down hard on the bench! Defense that's basically a suggestion written all over his face!
Terry Crews, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite a gym-rat work ethic effort.
Terry Crews lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Kevin Durant holds his in. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
117-98 (W)
Terry Crews, this bonafide star, draws first blood! A reverse layup to start!
Scott Lang with the decisive deep three! An off-the-charts basketball IQ when it matters most!
Terry Crews shuts the door under the basket! That's how you play defense!
Kevin Durant goes to work the basketball through traffic! What a pass by this All-Star caliber talent!
This top-tier talent Terry Crews adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Into the tunnel. Kevin Durant grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Did you know Kevin Durant entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
LaMelo Ball scores with an unmatched feel for the game. A sky hook at half court! Too smooth!
A roaring arena as LaMelo Ball, this absolute unit, is introduced! Goosebumps!
This franchise guy Kevin Durant runs the Wilson patiently! Searching for the perfect shot!
This will be talked about for years! Kevin Durant with a free throw! Iconic!
This reliable star Terry Crews seals the deal! Victory with natural-born leadership!
Terry Crews points both hands at the sky. Kevin Durant points at Terry Crews. Scott Lang points at the exit. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
107-93 (W)
LaMelo Ball, this walking skyscraper, sets the tone immediately! That dawg mentality from the jump!
LaMelo Ball launches and converts! A half-court heave facing the rim! Money!
Terry Crews rotates perfectly for the flawless defensive rotation! That dawg mentality on full display!
This big-name player Stephen Curry zips the pass through! Another dime from this swiss-army-knife type!
Terry Crews, this multi-time All-Star, manages the clock beautifully in the first quarter!
Off to the locker room. LaMelo Ball has already drained two water bottles. Fun fact: LaMelo Ball failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
A double-clutch layup from LaMelo Ball! This well-respected player just keeps delivering!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, basks in an electric crowd! This is home!
Terry Crews makes the extra pass! This top-tier talent hockey assist for a fadeaway jumper!
Scott Lang, this versatile guy, sets the tone with that dawg mentality! Leader!
It's over! Kevin Durant delivers the goods! This bonafide star walks off a winner!
Stephen Curry performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Scott Lang imitates it. It's worse. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
77-122 (L)
And we're underway! Stephen Curry touches the pill first! This certified bucket looks eager!
Kevin Durant forces a bad thunderous slam! This established star needs to trust teammates!
This jersey-selling name Terry Crews forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Scott Lang overcommits and gets beat! Ego the size of Texas when reading the play!
Kevin Durant steps back and kicks the stanchion! This top-tier talent losing composure!
Rest time. LaMelo Ball isolates in a corner of the locker room, headphones on. True story: LaMelo Ball walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Houston Blast-Off. Awkward. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Scott Lang, this well-respected player, comes up empty! A scoop layup off target at half court!
Scott Lang, this established player, is dragging! The contest minutes taking their toll!
Terry Crews, this combo guard, gets the ball poked away! Tendency to force bad shots when protecting the ball!
Terry Crews, this all-around player, pounds the scorer's table! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
Terry Crews walks off in silence. This All-Star caliber talent gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Stephen Curry punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. LaMelo Ball slides down the wall to the floor. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
77-114 (L)
Scott Lang, this smooth operator, takes the court! The Finals-like atmosphere is electric!
Scott Lang, this smooth operator, gets the look under the basket but the lid's on the rim!
LaMelo Ball coughs up the rock! Sometimes predictable game strikes again from mid-range!
LaMelo Ball gets caught flat-footed! This up-and-coming baller beaten to the spot!
Terry Crews storms to the bench! This elite player is visibly upset!
That's a cut. Stephen Curry stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Anecdote: Stephen Curry lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
A scoop layup by LaMelo Ball from mid-range is way off! Tough night for this seasoned vet!
Stephen Curry, this world-class player, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
This legit talent Scott Lang with turnover number buckets! Hot head is piling up!
Terry Crews mouths off and picks up a T! Lack of consistency taking over!
This well-respected player LaMelo Ball stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this well-respected player wanted.
Kevin Durant walks in slow motion, arms dangling. Scott Lang speeds up. Wants it to be over. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
89-121 (L)
This player on the come-up Scott Lang means business! Fast start along the baseline!
Terry Crews takes a tough buzzer beater and it doesn't go! Lack of consistency in shot selection!
Terry Crews blows past into a dead end back to the basket! Turnover! Ego the size of Texas!
This reliable star Stephen Curry gives up the offensive rebound! Tendency to force bad shots when boxing out!
This guy everybody knows Terry Crews fouls hard out of frustration! Heavy feet showing!
Off to the locker room. Stephen Curry has already drained two water bottles. Locker room intel: Stephen Curry has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Terry Crews, this guy everybody knows, pulls the trigger on the low block but no luck!
Stephen Curry misses from fatigue! This guy everybody knows can't get the elevation facing the rim!
This certified bucket Kevin Durant commits the offensive foul! Turnover facing the rim!
Stephen Curry glares at the scoreboard! This certified bucket not happy with the situation!
Stephen Curry reflects on what could have been. Occasional mental lapses the difference tonight.
Stephen Curry shakes LaMelo Ball's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
101-100 (W)
Kevin Durant, this established star, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
This next-level player Scott Lang reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
Terry Crews, this smooth operator, gets the look but can't convert driving to the hoop!
LaMelo Ball with the tough step-back three through contact! This up-and-coming baller won't be denied!
Kevin Durant, this beanpole, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Off to the locker room. Terry Crews has already drained two water bottles. Did you know Terry Crews knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Cleveland Twin-Towers's colors. By accident, obviously. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
LaMelo Ball comes alive in the final quarter! A thunderous slam from way beyond the arc! Clutch!
LaMelo Ball forces the shot-clock violation! Insane court vision on full display!
Stephen Curry, this big-name player, waves the crowd up! An incredible energy rising!
LaMelo Ball hits nothing but net! A devastating dunk in the fourth quarter! Unreal swagger!
Scott Lang pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This dude putting the league on notice savors the win!
Kevin Durant and Stephen Curry fake a wrestling match. Terry Crews plays the referee and calls a timeout. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
86-109 (L)
LaMelo Ball takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Stephen Curry pulls up but it's well off! Shaky emotions under pressure under fatigue!
Kevin Durant tries to be too fancy and loses the Wilson! Limited stamina in the decision-making!
Terry Crews gets crossed over! This max-contract guy left frozen on the low block!
Terry Crews, this elite player, knifes through for a tear drop in the paint! Wow!
Halftime. The physio pounces on Terry Crews to massage his thighs. Anecdote of the day: Terry Crews forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
LaMelo Ball slams the rock in frustration! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
This league veteran LaMelo Ball whiffs on an off-balance shot! The crowd groans!
Kevin Durant, this guy everybody knows, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Eyes in the back of the head!
Kevin Durant, this mountain of a man, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry leaves the gymnasium with head held high. Fought to the end.
LaMelo Ball's eyes are glassy. Stephen Curry mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
89-134 (L)
Stephen Curry, this max-contract guy, embraces the sold-out gym on fire! Game on!
LaMelo Ball, this beanpole, can't get a buzzer-beater to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Stephen Curry dishes into a trap! Limited stamina when reading the defense!
This multi-time All-Star Kevin Durant picks up the cheap foul! Tendency to rush showing!
This guy everybody knows Terry Crews can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
The locker room. Scott Lang sprawls out full-length on the bench. Fun fact: Scott Lang is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Terry Crews goes to work but the shot rims out! Lack of consistency rears its ugly head!
Terry Crews short-arms the shot from fatigue! This headliner has nothing left!
LaMelo Ball, this towering presence, fumbles the entry pass in the paint!
Scott Lang picks up the second technical! This up-and-coming baller ejected! Ego the size of Texas!
Kevin Durant, this bonafide star, takes the loss hard. Shaky emotions under pressure at the wrong moments.
Scott Lang rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Kevin Durant picks up his own and folds it carefully. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
81-125 (L)
Terry Crews looks dialed in from the start! Night-in night-out consistency preparation showing!
Scott Lang misfires in the paint! Even this guy with a proven track record has off nights!
Terry Crews shoots carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
This top-tier talent Terry Crews fouls reaching in! Heavy feet on defense!
Scott Lang, this do-it-all player, waves off the play call! Injury-prone body hurting the team!
Halftime. Stephen Curry glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Quick anecdote about Stephen Curry: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
This jersey-selling name Kevin Durant with a rare miss along the baseline! Even the best stumble!
Scott Lang lets fly sluggishly! Limited stamina catching up with this established player!
This multi-time All-Star Kevin Durant gets pickpocketed facing the rim! Sloppy handling!
Scott Lang gets a technical for complaining! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
LaMelo Ball takes off to the tunnel in disappointment. This well-respected player will learn from this.
Scott Lang punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Kevin Durant slides down the wall to the floor. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
My Team finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: LaMelo Ball.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby!
Listen, I've watched hundreds of players come and go in my broadcasting career, but LaMelo Ball is something else entirely. He's the kind of player who makes you jump out of your chair and scream "OH SHIT" at your TV without even realizing it. Standing at 200 cm, a wingspan like a pterodactyl, and a killer instinct that even the coaches can't explain. This man feels the game. He knows where the ball is going to land before the shot even leaves the hand. He reads passes like he's reading minds. At this level, it's not basketball anymore, it's straight-up sorcery.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Scott Lang. An amateur in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Scott Lang has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
Financially, this team is operating in another dimension. The salary cap? Never heard of it. The luxury tax? Paid with a smile. The owner sold two of his yachts to fund this roster and he'd do it again tomorrow morning. Every player on this bench earns more in a week than most people do in a year, and not a single one of them is here to ride the pine. This is a team built to win NOW. Not tomorrow, not next season. Tonight.
My Team finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: LaMelo Ball.
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