My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | New York Over-Timers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Miami Heart-Attack | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | My Team | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Victor Wembanyama! Picture this: standing at 224 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Robert Wadlow. The man is a q17307272. A freaking q17307272. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget is simple: it's not a budget anymore, it's a manifesto. The owner said "I don't give a damn about consequences" and he proved it. We're in financial territory that even Adam Silver didn't anticipate when he wrote the rules. Every extra dollar spent costs five dollars in tax, and guess what, they spend WAY too many extra dollars. The roster is an infernal machine, the bench is a thing of beauty, but the price is zero future. No picks, no possible trades, no plan B. It's the championship or a wall at 200 miles per hour. There is no middle ground.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
88-132 (L)
Tip-off! Victor Wembanyama gets us started! Let's go!
A buzzer-beater from Stephen Curry hits the iron! Defense that's basically a suggestion under the spotlight!
Jayden Ramirez, this combo guard, gets stripped along the baseline! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Victor Wembanyama gets posted up and scored on! This established player overpowered!
Victor Wembanyama fires away the towel! This player on the come-up showing defense that's basically a suggestion!
Break! Victor Wembanyama rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Did you know Victor Wembanyama entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
This well-respected player Ja Morant puts up a buzzer beater but it won't fall! Off night!
Ja Morant is running on pure willpower! This next-level player refusing to quit!
This bonafide star Stephen Curry dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Stephen Curry sits alone on the bench. This certified bucket processing the defeat.
Ja Morant turns back to look at the court one last time. Robert Wadlow doesn't turn around. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
106-97 (W)
Jayden Ramirez crosses over onto the floor! The crowd roars for this unknown gem!
Ja Morant blows past and converts! A floater off the pick and roll! Money!
Robert Wadlow plays the passing angle perfectly! Deflection by this top-tier talent!
Robert Wadlow reads the defense like a book! Assist from mid-range! Iron discipline!
This max-contract guy Robert Wadlow calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
The locker room fills up. Stephen Curry has already eaten three oranges. Exclusive: Stephen Curry was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Robert Wadlow answers back with a step-back three! Night-in night-out consistency under pressure!
Victor Wembanyama soaks in a cathedral silence! This established player living for these moments!
Jayden Ramirez, this guy nobody was talking about, rotates on defense! An off-the-charts basketball IQ team commitment!
This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama silences the noise! Pure God-given talent locked in! Nothing else matters!
Jayden Ramirez, this swiss-army-knife type, celebrates the win! A hug with the coach! What a game!
Victor Wembanyama blows a kiss to the camera. Stephen Curry blows twelve. Jayden Ramirez blocks the lens. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
92-125 (L)
This respected competitor Ja Morant means business! Fast start back to the basket!
Jayden Ramirez can't buy a bucket! Another miss under the basket! Frustrating!
Jayden Ramirez with the lazy pass! Defense that's basically a suggestion leading to easy points!
This up-and-coming baller Victor Wembanyama fouls reaching in! Limited stamina on defense!
Victor Wembanyama, this dude putting the league on notice, refuses to high-five! Defense that's basically a suggestion hurting the chemistry!
The players head in. Victor Wembanyama slips on the wet tunnel floor. Bus driver's confession: Victor Wembanyama raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
This top-tier talent Robert Wadlow whiffs on an and-one! The crowd groans!
This dude putting the league on notice Victor Wembanyama can't close out! The legs are shot at the top of the key!
Robert Wadlow with the errant pass! This bonafide star needs to settle down!
Stephen Curry, this established star, barks at the teammate! Occasional mental lapses taking over!
Jayden Ramirez reflects on what could have been. Tendency to rush the difference tonight.
Victor Wembanyama sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Robert Wadlow has his head in his hands. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
96-116 (L)
This dude out of nowhere Jayden Ramirez gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
This newcomer Jayden Ramirez shanks a bank shot at the top of the key! That's uncharacteristic!
Ja Morant, this smooth operator, gets the ball poked away! Injury-prone body when protecting the leather!
Jayden Ramirez gets burned on the drive! Defense that's basically a suggestion in lateral movement!
Stephen Curry with the decisive reverse layup! Freakish explosiveness when it matters most!
Heading in. Stephen Curry's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Physio's confession: Stephen Curry purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Second half! The hardwood is about to shake again.
This name that's buzzing Victor Wembanyama throws an elbow in frustration! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
Robert Wadlow, this world-class player, comes up empty! An and-one off target from the right corner!
Victor Wembanyama slows the pace when the team needs it! This established player tempo control!
Robert Wadlow, this guy everybody knows, is dragging! The allotted time minutes taking their toll!
Stephen Curry dribbles to the tunnel in disappointment. This multi-time All-Star will learn from this.
Robert Wadlow looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Ja Morant looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
100-112 (L)
Jayden Ramirez, this swiss-army-knife type, announced to huge cheers! Palpable tension!
Victor Wembanyama fires a finger roll from mid-range but can't connect! Occasional mental lapses showing!
Ja Morant fades away into a dead end at the buzzer! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Robert Wadlow, this giant, lets the shooter get free under the basket! Costly lapse!
Jayden Ramirez catches fire! And it's a hook shot! Freakish explosiveness taking over!
Break time. Robert Wadlow bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Juicy intel: Robert Wadlow turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Victor Wembanyama storms to the bench! This hooper's hooper is visibly upset!
Ja Morant with a rough half-court heave in transition! Occasional mental lapses at the worst time!
Robert Wadlow, this multi-time All-Star, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a deep three!
Robert Wadlow, this top-tier talent, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
This player on the come-up Victor Wembanyama congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this player on the come-up.
Stephen Curry chews his nails on the bench. Jayden Ramirez stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
96-114 (L)
Jayden Ramirez looks dialed in from the start! Night-in night-out consistency preparation showing!
Robert Wadlow with a wild attempt! This elite player not finding the range tonight!
Ja Morant tries to be too fancy and loses the basketball! Injury-prone body in the decision-making!
This surprise package Jayden Ramirez bites on the fake! Beaten in transition!
Victor Wembanyama crosses over and fires a tear drop! This absolute unit lighting it up!
The locker room fills up. Ja Morant has already eaten three oranges. Anecdote: Ja Morant threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Ja Morant mutters to himself walking back! This player on the come-up fighting inner demons!
Robert Wadlow, this max-contract guy, sends the Spalding wide! The touch is off tonight!
Jayden Ramirez, this do-it-all player, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Ja Morant is cramping up! This league veteran trying to shake it off! Sometimes predictable game!
Victor Wembanyama, this beanpole, hangs the head. Tough loss despite next-level basketball IQ effort.
Stephen Curry looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Jayden Ramirez looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. I got a text from Stephen Curry after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
87-108 (L)
This guy everybody knows Robert Wadlow in the starting lineup! Let's see what this guy everybody knows brings!
Brick! Victor Wembanyama misfires along the baseline! Shaky emotions under pressure at the worst time!
Jayden Ramirez, this do-it-all player, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted under the basket!
Ja Morant falls asleep on the weak side! Defense that's basically a suggestion exposed!
This legit talent Victor Wembanyama punishes the defense with a half-court heave driving to the hoop!
Halftime whistle. Jayden Ramirez high-fives his teammates on the way out. Confession: Jayden Ramirez calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
This world-class player Stephen Curry gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Robert Wadlow dishes the Spalding into nothing! Tendency to force bad shots on full display tonight!
Stephen Curry dunks into the right spacing! Unreal swagger and elite court awareness!
Robert Wadlow grabs the shorts! This multi-time All-Star is running on fumes!
Victor Wembanyama, this established player, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Ja Morant mutters while walking out. Stephen Curry watches from the corner of his eye, worried. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
92-100 (L)
Ja Morant, this swiss-army-knife type, is introduced and the arena explodes! This player making noise is in the building!
A half-court heave from Victor Wembanyama goes in and out! Heartbreaking driving to the hoop!
Victor Wembanyama lets fly carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Stephen Curry gets crossed over! This big-name player left frozen at the top of the key!
Ja Morant, this up-and-coming baller, knifes through for a buzzer-beater in transition! Wow!
Break. Ja Morant's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Rumor has it Ja Morant talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Both teams return with fresh instructions from the coach.
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, throws the hands up! Exasperated facing the rim!
Ja Morant, this legit talent, with a contested two-handed slam that misses in the paint!
Victor Wembanyama, this guy with a proven track record, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Nerves of steel!
Stephen Curry is gassed! This guy everybody knows bent over at half court! Lack of consistency catching up!
Stephen Curry had the chances but couldn't convert. This guy everybody knows left wanting.
Jayden Ramirez punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Victor Wembanyama slides down the wall to the floor. Yours truly survived this game without losing his voice. It was touch and go. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
82-110 (L)
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry comes out firing! An alley-oop in the first minute!
This reliable star Stephen Curry misses the mark! A buzzer beater goes begging off the pick and roll!
Robert Wadlow throws it into the stands! What was that from this established star!
Robert Wadlow loses the screen battle! Tendency to force bad shots around the picks!
Ja Morant, this versatile guy, takes over back to the basket. A finger roll! That's elite!
Break. Stephen Curry collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Small detail: Stephen Curry wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
This player on the come-up Victor Wembanyama hangs the head after the miss! Deflated on the low block!
This dark horse Jayden Ramirez throws up a prayer under the basket! Not answered!
Robert Wadlow, this absolute unit, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Robert Wadlow short-arms the shot from fatigue! This top-tier talent has nothing left!
This guy with a proven track record Ja Morant leaves the den with head held high. Fought to the end.
Victor Wembanyama looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Robert Wadlow looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
88-132 (L)
Stephen Curry, this jersey-selling name, draws first blood! A step-back three to start!
Ja Morant, this versatile guy, wastes a golden chance with a wild reverse layup!
Jayden Ramirez passes to nobody! This who-is-this-guy player with a head-scratching decision!
This reliable star Stephen Curry commits the and-one foul! Injury-prone body in positioning!
Robert Wadlow glares at the scoreboard! This elite player not happy with the situation!
Back in the locker room, Ja Morant sits down and stares at the ceiling. Anecdote: Ja Morant tried to impress the Denver Horse-Track players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Robert Wadlow, this tower, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this big-name player!
This franchise guy Robert Wadlow has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
Ja Morant loses the damn ball in traffic! This name that's buzzing can't afford that!
This multi-time All-Star Robert Wadlow stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
This big-name player Stephen Curry shakes hands and moves on. In the end, shaky emotions under pressure proved costly.
Jayden Ramirez mutters while walking out. Robert Wadlow watches from the corner of his eye, worried. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
76-120 (L)
Ja Morant, this smooth operator, takes the court! The palpable tension is electric!
Jayden Ramirez forces a bad step-back three! This unknown gem needs to trust teammates!
This unknown gem Jayden Ramirez gets pickpocketed from the left corner! Sloppy handling!
Jayden Ramirez overcommits and gets beat! Occasional mental lapses when reading the play!
Jayden Ramirez, this all-around player, shows negative body language! Tendency to rush creeping in!
Break! Ja Morant has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Juicy anecdote: Ja Morant was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Victor Wembanyama, this legit talent, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Jayden Ramirez, this hidden prospect, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Ja Morant coughs up the rock! Tendency to rush strikes again on the low block!
Jayden Ramirez drops the head after another miss! Limited stamina sapping the confidence!
This player making noise Ja Morant tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Victor Wembanyama collapses into the first available chair. Stephen Curry stays standing, eyes glazed over. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
99-116 (L)
Robert Wadlow takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Robert Wadlow, this tree of a man, bobbles the Wilson and the chance evaporates in transition!
Victor Wembanyama with a wild pass that sails out! This up-and-coming baller giving it away!
Stephen Curry gets screened out of the play! This reliable star lost in traffic!
A pull-up jumper from Stephen Curry! Another dagger! This reliable star closing the door!
Break! Ja Morant grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Anecdote: Ja Morant slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
This seasoned vet Ja Morant fouls hard out of frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing!
Jayden Ramirez rushes a tear drop facing the rim! Shaky emotions under pressure creeping in!
Robert Wadlow spins to the weak side! This elite player exploiting the rotation!
Ja Morant, this solid build, with tired legs off the pick and roll! Defense that's basically a suggestion slowing this established player down!
Stephen Curry attacks past the media. This certified bucket not in the mood to talk.
Stephen Curry stares at his hands like he doesn't recognize them. Jayden Ramirez exhales. Again. And again. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
88-132 (L)
Victor Wembanyama attacks with energy from the opening whistle! This seasoned vet locked in!
Ja Morant penetrates but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Victor Wembanyama dunks into a trap! Sometimes predictable game when reading the defense!
This raw talent Jayden Ramirez caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Robert Wadlow, this towering presence, sits down hard on the bench! Occasional mental lapses written all over his face!
Halftime! Jayden Ramirez has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Fun fact: Jayden Ramirez got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Ja Morant with the off-balance alley-oop! This solid pro couldn't set the feet!
Robert Wadlow asks for the ball to slow the pace! This max-contract guy needs air!
Victor Wembanyama, this titan, steps out of bounds with the Spalding! Mental lapse!
This top-tier talent Robert Wadlow shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Victor Wembanyama, this legit talent, takes the loss hard. Hot head at the wrong moments.
Stephen Curry watches the crowd file out in silence. Jayden Ramirez prefers not to look. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
90-117 (L)
Victor Wembanyama, this seasoned vet, embraces the standing ovation! Game on!
A two-handed slam from Victor Wembanyama sails wide! This respected competitor needs to regroup!
Robert Wadlow throws it away! Lack of consistency under pressure in the paint!
Jayden Ramirez turns the head and loses the man! This dark horse napping defensively!
Jayden Ramirez goes coast to coast for a euro-step! This player nobody saw coming is relentless!
Into the tunnel. Stephen Curry grabs a banana on the way and devours it. True story: Stephen Curry had his parking spot stolen by San Antonio Skyscrapers's mascot. Still talks about it. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Stephen Curry mouths off and picks up a T! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!
Ja Morant takes off and fires but misses everything! Lack of consistency tonight!
This elite player Robert Wadlow recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Ja Morant, this swiss-army-knife type, looks exhausted at half court! The legs are gone!
This hooper's hooper Ja Morant stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this hooper's hooper wanted.
Robert Wadlow's complexion is grey. Victor Wembanyama's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
80-124 (L)
Game time! Stephen Curry and this elite player ready to put on a show at the court!
This player making noise Victor Wembanyama with a rare miss off the pick and roll! Even the best stumble!
This guy nobody was talking about Jayden Ramirez with turnover number lengths ahead! Hot head is piling up!
This well-respected player Victor Wembanyama gives up the offensive rebound! Tendency to rush when boxing out!
Victor Wembanyama, this solid pro, yells at the coaching staff! Lack of consistency causing friction!
Break. Victor Wembanyama collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. They say Victor Wembanyama has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Jayden Ramirez takes a tough tear drop and it doesn't go! Heavy feet in shot selection!
Robert Wadlow, this oversized freak, laboring up and down! Injury-prone body draining the energy!
This top-tier talent Robert Wadlow with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Jayden Ramirez gets a technical for complaining! Occasional mental lapses on full display!
Ja Morant walks off in silence. This solid pro gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Stephen Curry refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Jayden Ramirez watches it and immediately regrets it. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
My Team finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
Season Journal
Kill the cameras, turn off your phones, and shut your mouths because what we're about to witness tonight only happens once in a generation. We're in the belly of an arena where the floor trembles under the bass, where the Jumbotron spits fire, where 20,000 lunatics are screaming their heads off before the tip-off even happens. The franchise walking onto this court isn't a basketball club, it's a war machine forged in the pain of defeat and the madness of impossible comebacks. Every player here has gladiator blood in his veins and an ego size of Texas. The team with no name, baby!
Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Victor Wembanyama! Picture this: standing at 224 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Robert Wadlow. The man is a q17307272. A freaking q17307272. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget is simple: it's not a budget anymore, it's a manifesto. The owner said "I don't give a damn about consequences" and he proved it. We're in financial territory that even Adam Silver didn't anticipate when he wrote the rules. Every extra dollar spent costs five dollars in tax, and guess what, they spend WAY too many extra dollars. The roster is an infernal machine, the bench is a thing of beauty, but the price is zero future. No picks, no possible trades, no plan B. It's the championship or a wall at 200 miles per hour. There is no middle ground.
My Team finishes #16 (1W-14L). Better luck next season! MVP: Victor Wembanyama.
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