brooklyn spiders — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | brooklyn spiders | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... Brooklyn spiders! Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Yao Ming. Standing at 229 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Hulk Hogan. The man is a wrestler. A freaking wrestler. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with rosin bag and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-115 (L)
Hulk Hogan gets the crowd going early! Setting the tone like a wrestler on day one!
Air ball from Julius Caesar! Being a military personnel doesn't help with shooting, apparently!
This league veteran Quicksilver with turnover number buckets! Occasional mental lapses is piling up!
Hulk Hogan can't contain the drive! Slamming the mat canvas is more containable!
A finger roll! Julius Caesar cannot be stopped tonight! This global icon is locked in!
Halftime! Yao Ming looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Fun fact: Yao Ming was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.
Jesus Christ mouths off during crunch time! A messiah venting about the game!
A thunderous slam by Hulk Hogan at the top of the key is way off! Tough night for this established star!
This hooper's hooper Quicksilver attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Jesus Christ grabs the jersey for air! Needs more air than their bare hands in the workshop!
Jesus Christ shakes hands through the pain! A messiah who respects their bare hands and the game!
Yao Ming pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Julius Caesar takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. I got a text from Yao Ming after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
120-96 (W)
This jersey-selling name Yao Ming catches the basketball early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Julius Caesar finishes the fast break! Sprinting like a military personnel who's running late!
Quicksilver forces the shot-clock violation! Patient as a superhero waiting for the game!
Yao Ming threads the needle! Beautiful assist on the low block! Unreal court vision!
Yao Ming, this mountain of a man, exploits the mismatch in the paint! Smart play!
The players head to the locker room. Julius Caesar is sweating like a racehorse. Staff confession: Julius Caesar is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Yao Ming, this bonafide star, operates off the pick and roll with a pull-up jumper! Clinic!
Jesus Christ soaks in a hostile crowd! This generational talent living for these moments!
Hulk Hogan rotates on defense! Rotating with the rosin bag efficiency!
The messiah identity fuels Jesus Christ. Their bare hands taught them everything about pressure!
Hulk Hogan grabs the game ball! This bonafide star earned it tonight!
Yao Ming pretends to faint from happiness. Hulk Hogan pretends to call 911. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
105-93 (W)
This elite player Yao Ming in the starting lineup! Let's see what this elite player brings!
Julius Caesar scores from the elbow! Perfect angle, the military personnel knows geometry!
Hulk Hogan, this bonafide star, shuts down the play from the right corner! Lockdown defender!
Julius Caesar dishes a beautiful pass! Special delivery from this military personnel!
Quicksilver exploits the soft spot in the left wing! Soft as the game under their bare hands!
The players file out. Jesus Christ exchanges a tense look with the coach. Little scoop: Jesus Christ tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Julius Caesar buries a pull-up jumper from mid-range! This once-in-a-lifetime player is on fire tonight!
An electric crowd as Julius Caesar nails a double-clutch layup! The military personnel delivers!
Quicksilver unites the squad with a half-court set! The unifier, the superhero of the game!
Quicksilver, this smooth operator, stands tall when the team needs this next-level player most!
Jesus Christ finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a messiah would be proud of!
Jesus Christ and Quicksilver attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. Julius Caesar films the whole thing. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. Thanks for watching this game. And now: 'Deal or No Deal: Office Fridge Edition.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
105-100 (W)
Quicksilver fires up the crowd to open the game! This seasoned vet starting strong!
Julius Caesar with the denial defense! This all-time great not giving an inch!
Hulk Hogan with the off-balance half-court heave! This bonafide star couldn't set the feet!
Hulk Hogan, this reliable star, exploits the mismatch for a pull-up jumper! Too easy!
Hulk Hogan communicates the switch! Clear as a wrestler's instructions!
The players head to the locker room. Hulk Hogan is sweating like a racehorse. Little secret: Hulk Hogan listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Jesus Christ, this do-it-all player, comes up big! A pull-up jumper in right from the tip-off! Legend!
Yao Ming with the huge defensive stop from mid-range! This established star says no!
Post-game fireworks for Julius Caesar! Brighter than their service rifle on a perfect day!
Yao Ming, this tree of a man, hits the big shot! After a timeout! That's a closer!
Jesus Christ, this all-around player, celebrates the win! A salute to the fans! What a game!
Jesus Christ does a cartwheel at center court. Hulk Hogan tries one too and eats it. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
127-95 (W)
Hulk Hogan sets the tone early! The wrestler came to play tonight!
Quicksilver with the step-back bucket! Creating space like a superhero with their bare hands!
Hulk Hogan with the suffocating defense! This big-name player is a wall out there!
Hulk Hogan with the no-look pass! This world-class player has eyes in the back of the head!
Julius Caesar reads the defense perfectly! An off-the-charts basketball IQ and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Break. Julius Caesar collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. True story: Julius Caesar walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Phoenix No-Defense. Awkward. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Hulk Hogan, this smooth operator, elevates for a monster step-back three!
You can feel a standing ovation through the screen! Hulk Hogan in the spotlight!
Jesus Christ draws the attention! Magnetic presence, the messiah aura is undeniable!
The arc of this game bends toward Quicksilver! This hooper's hooper controlling destiny!
Quicksilver leaves everything on the arena! Left it all out there tonight!
Jesus Christ and Quicksilver do celebratory push-ups. Julius Caesar counts out loud. Definitely cheating. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
118-99 (W)
Jesus Christ opens with a fadeaway jumper! This absolute legend making an early statement!
Hulk Hogan penetrates with the precision of a wrestler at work. And it's a step-back three!
Yao Ming anticipates the cut and deflects the leather! This franchise guy reading minds!
Yao Ming steps back and creates! Another assist back to the basket! Quarterback!
Quicksilver, this solid build, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Coach calls everyone back. Quicksilver drags his feet toward the tunnel. Confession: Quicksilver tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Jesus Christ rises up the ball into a layup! Silky smooth technique shining through!
Quicksilver feeds off a sold-out gym on fire! The energy of a superhero fueled by the game!
Hulk Hogan picks up the assignment! Locked in, the wrestler accepts the mission!
Every time Jesus Christ touches the pill, you see the discipline of their bare hands!
Quicksilver, this league veteran, embraces the teammates! A hug with the coach! Sweet victory!
Quicksilver improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Hulk Hogan plays the imaginary violin. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
106-84 (W)
Quicksilver checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Jesus Christ hits from downtown! Precision worthy of their bare hands from under the basket!
Julius Caesar stands firm! Not moving, this military personnel is planted!
Julius Caesar finds the open teammate! Vision of a military personnel spotting the frontline!
Jesus Christ outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a messiah with their bare hands!
The locker room. Yao Ming sprawls out full-length on the bench. Fun fact: Yao Ming was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
Quicksilver, this well-respected player, knifes through for a layup along the baseline! Wow!
The entire arena rises for Julius Caesar! A military personnel lifted by their service rifle and love!
Julius Caesar sets the perfect screen! Built like a military personnel who doesn't skip leg day!
This is Jesus Christ's chapter: the messiah who rose from the game to stardom!
It's over! Yao Ming delivers the goods! This All-Star caliber talent walks off a winner!
Quicksilver drops to his knees and kisses the court. Hulk Hogan pretends to gag. I learned that Quicksilver's father was a messiah. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
110-96 (W)
Quicksilver comes out hot! Heated up and ready, the superhero means business!
Quicksilver, this league veteran, drills another step-back three driving to the hoop! Automatic!
Quicksilver with a left-handed block to save the possession! Their bare hands to the rescue!
Julius Caesar lobs it perfectly! Arcing it with precision worthy of their service rifle!
This potential GOAT Julius Caesar uses the floater over this smooth operator coverage! Smart!
Both teams head in. Quicksilver has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Did you know? Quicksilver tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
This hall-of-fame lock Jesus Christ does it again! A buzzer-beater with effortless precision!
The road crowd tries to rally but Hulk Hogan silences them! A roaring arena!
Yao Ming penetrates the rock with patience! This reliable star trusting the system!
This guy everybody knows Yao Ming channels the inner champion! An off-the-charts basketball IQ at its peak!
Hulk Hogan hangs up the sneakers! Calling it a night, the wrestler is done!
Jesus Christ does the robot at center court while Quicksilver pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
90-122 (L)
Julius Caesar locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a military personnel who means business!
Quicksilver bobbles and misses! Fumbling the pill like it's a Monday morning!
Jesus Christ with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost messiah!
Yao Ming, this long boy, can't keep up with the speed! Sometimes predictable game exposed!
Jesus Christ, this generational talent, barks at the teammate! Shaky emotions under pressure taking over!
The locker room. Quicksilver sprawls out full-length on the bench. Intel: Quicksilver once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Yao Ming rushes an off-balance shot on the low block! Occasional mental lapses creeping in!
Julius Caesar tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a military personnel's energy for the frontline!
Julius Caesar, this smooth operator, gets stripped from way beyond the arc! Lack of consistency exposed!
Quicksilver storms to the bench! Heated! This superhero doesn't handle losing well!
Hulk Hogan had the chances but couldn't convert. This jersey-selling name left wanting.
Julius Caesar lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Hulk Hogan holds his in. Final confession: I still don't know how to pronounce Julius Caesar's name. Forgive me. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
107-101 (W)
Julius Caesar dunks with energy from the opening whistle! This living legend locked in!
Hulk Hogan floats one in from the low block! Delicate as a wrestler with the rosin bag!
Hulk Hogan a ball recovery with authority! This swiss-army-knife type protecting the paint!
Quicksilver with the outlet pass! Coast-to-coast assist! Scary good handles on that one!
Julius Caesar uses a quick ball-movement offense brilliantly! Strategy from defending the frontline!
Break time. Quicksilver bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Anecdote: Quicksilver slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
An off-balance shot from Jesus Christ! This generational talent is putting on a show tonight!
This well-respected player Quicksilver silences the hostile crowd! A boiling cauldron shifts!
Hulk Hogan provides the spark! Electric energy, the wrestler is firing on all cylinders!
Win or lose, Quicksilver has earned respect tonight! This hooper's hooper warrior spirit!
Jesus Christ pulls up into the tunnel with the W! This first-ballot legend all smiles!
Yao Ming and Julius Caesar chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
130-91 (W)
Quicksilver, this all-around player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This up-and-coming baller is in the building!
Hulk Hogan hooks it in! The arc of a wrestler swinging the rosin bag!
Quicksilver with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Hulk Hogan scores on the putback! Recycling the mat canvas is second nature for a wrestler!
This certified GOAT candidate Julius Caesar comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Quicksilver walks head down toward the tunnel. Little secret: Quicksilver has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Quicksilver converts the and-one! Tough as competing the game all day!
Hulk Hogan even the deep bench is scoring! Complete team effort tonight!
Jesus Christ claims their messiah training helps with the orange handling! Maybe true?
Quicksilver does a victory lap! Lapping the court with superhero swagger!
Yao Ming fades away in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Yao Ming runs to the coach and lifts the coach up. Not thrilled but smiles anyway. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
97-121 (L)
Jesus Christ dishes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this hall-of-fame lock!
Julius Caesar forces a euro-step from the right corner! This hall-of-fame lock trying too hard!
Jesus Christ trips up in beyond the arc! A messiah never trips at work... Right?
Quicksilver beaten to the spot! Slower than a superhero on a Monday morning!
This bonafide star Yao Ming punishes the defense with a free throw at the buzzer!
Halftime! Hulk Hogan has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Rumor has it Hulk Hogan talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Hulk Hogan shakes their head! A wrestler who can't believe that just happened!
Hulk Hogan misses on the decisive possession! A wrestler dropping the mat canvas at the worst time!
Hulk Hogan baits the defender! Got them hook, line, and sinker!
Jesus Christ misses from fatigue! Tired arms from competing the game all week!
Yao Ming walks off in silence. This elite player gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Hulk Hogan's eyes are glassy. Julius Caesar mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. On my end, I discovered the arena's coffee machine was broken. The game nearly went uncommentated. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
114-96 (W)
Hulk Hogan steps onto the venue! From slamming the mat canvas to this, game time!
The crowd erupts as Quicksilver nails a buzzer-beater! A superhero on fire at the gymnasium!
Hulk Hogan with the weak-side block! Appearing from nowhere like a wrestler finding the mat canvas!
This world-class player Yao Ming exploits the gap! Dime to the corner for a finger roll!
Hulk Hogan finds the angle! The angle wrestler uses for the mat canvas!
End of the first act. Quicksilver is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Anecdote: Quicksilver slipped on a banana peel during practice. The videos leaked. The internet never forgets. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Julius Caesar pops the jumper! Clean as their service rifle after a polish!
The arena buzzes for Quicksilver! A superhero who electrifies wherever they go!
Hulk Hogan celebrates the team's success! This franchise guy knows together is better!
This game belongs to Hulk Hogan! This max-contract guy stamping authority from mid-range!
This All-Star caliber talent Yao Ming led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Hulk Hogan takes a bow for the crowd. Quicksilver bows to Hulk Hogan. The nobility of basketball. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
109-106 (W)
This respected competitor Quicksilver comes out aggressive! Opens with a euro-step from the right corner!
Quicksilver with the defensive masterclass! A superhero teaching everyone a lesson!
That one wasn't even close, Hulk Hogan! Stick to slamming the mat canvas!
Yao Ming launches the damn ball beautifully for a two-handed slam! What touch!
Julius Caesar, this hall-of-fame lock, manipulates the defense with the eyes! That dawg mentality!
Both teams head to the locker room. Jesus Christ wipes his forehead with his jersey. Little scoop: Jesus Christ tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Hulk Hogan takes over in the third quarter! Dominating like a wrestler who owns the room!
Julius Caesar picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
Jesus Christ tips their arm sleeve to the crowd! The messiah gesture with their bare hands!
Jesus Christ with the late steal and score! This all-time great taking matters into own hands!
Final buzzer! Yao Ming is the hero! This reliable star with a game for the ages!
Julius Caesar and Quicksilver chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
91-111 (L)
Jesus Christ, this solid build, sets the tone immediately! A killer instinct from the jump!
Hulk Hogan, this combo guard, loses the handle and the opportunity! Heavy feet!
Jesus Christ with the lazy pass! Defense that's basically a suggestion leading to easy points!
Quicksilver overcommits! Going all-in like a superhero on the game, but wrong!
Julius Caesar hits the triple! Three lengths ahead, three cheers for this military personnel turned baller!
Halftime! Julius Caesar is limping slightly heading off the court. True story: Julius Caesar walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest. Awkward. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Hulk Hogan tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the wrestler will bounce back!
Julius Caesar with a rough sky hook along the baseline! Hot head at the worst time!
Jesus Christ spaces the floor! Making room out there like a messiah clears the workspace!
Hulk Hogan bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a wrestler after the rosin bag overtime!
Julius Caesar hangs their head! A military personnel who gave everything they had!
Julius Caesar pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Quicksilver takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
brooklyn spiders ends the season #4 with a 11W-4L record. Season MVP: Yao Ming.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... Brooklyn spiders!
Okay, let's talk about the boss. Because on this team, there's one alpha, and everybody knows it. Yao Ming. Standing at 229 cm, a body built for basketball, and a basketball IQ that borders on indecent. When this man catches the rock, defenders back up instinctively, it's a survival reflex. And they're right, because this guy can punish you from everywhere: from three, in the post, in transition, from the free throw line with his eyes closed. He's a damn 6'8" Swiss Army knife and he cuts in every direction.
You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Hulk Hogan. The man is a wrestler. A freaking wrestler. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with rosin bag and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget is fine, nothing more. This is the team that shops with a list and puts back the name-brand cereal for the store brand. They've got a serviceable roster, a guy or two who can drop 20 on a good night, but beyond that, it's filler. The coach works with what he's got, which ain't much, but he makes it work. This is the team that can beat anyone on a Tuesday night and get demolished on Friday. The textbook definition of "depends on the night."
brooklyn spiders ends the season #4 with a 11W-4L record. Season MVP: Yao Ming.
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