My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Beast Boy. The man is massive, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles. The man is an amateur. A freaking amateur. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
78-122 (L)
This hall-of-fame lock Spider-Man comes out aggressive! Opens with a fadeaway jumper back to the basket!
Mew misses! Even an astrologer can't fix that shot!
Spider-Man dribbles it off their foot! Their bare hands would never betray a superhero like that!
Mew overcommits! Going all-in like an astrologer on the cosmic fate, but wrong!
Spider-Man, this hall-of-fame lock, with the frustrated foul! Occasional mental lapses in tough moments!
That's a cut. Beast Boy stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Fun fact: Beast Boy is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Beast Boy gets the friendly rim but no luck! Even the superhero touch can't save that one!
Spider-Man tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a superhero's energy for the game!
Cyborg with the errant pass! This league veteran needs to settle down!
Beast Boy attacks the towel! This guy with a proven track record showing injury-prone body!
Mew leaves the gymnasium with dignity! The dignity of an astrologer with their star chart!
Beast Boy and Mew walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
103-118 (L)
Cyborg, this do-it-all player, announced to huge cheers! A sold-out gym on fire!
This diamond in the rough Mew misfires again! Injury-prone body could cost the team!
This who-is-this-guy player Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles gets pickpocketed back to the basket! Sloppy handling!
Cyborg overcommits and gets beat! Limited stamina when reading the play!
This potential GOAT Spider-Man does it again! A devastating dunk with effortless precision!
Halftime. Cyborg glances at his phone for two seconds and puts it back. Exclusive: Cyborg was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Mew storms to the bench! Heated! This astrologer doesn't handle losing well!
This who-is-this-guy player Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles shanks a sky hook in the paint! That's uncharacteristic!
This potential breakout star Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles recognizes the over-help and punishes it!
Spider-Man is gassed! This once-in-a-lifetime player bent over at half court! Ego the size of Texas catching up!
Beast Boy packs up and heads out! Packing their bare hands, unpacking emotions!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles snaps at the bench on his way out. Cyborg says nothing, but his look says everything. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
81-123 (L)
And we're underway! Beast Boy touches the leather first! This player on the come-up looks eager!
Cyborg posts up the orange into nothing! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display tonight!
This dark horse Mew commits the 5-second violation! Clock management defense that's basically a suggestion!
This solid pro Beast Boy caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Cyborg gets a technical for complaining! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Cut! Halftime. Spider-Man's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Fun fact: Spider-Man was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
Spider-Man launches a scoop layup and... Airball! Sometimes predictable game at its peak!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles is running on pure willpower! This hungry young player refusing to quit!
Beast Boy coughs up the ball! Injury-prone body strikes again facing the rim!
Mew slams the pill in frustration! Injury-prone body on full display!
This unknown gem Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this unknown gem wanted.
Beast Boy taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Spider-Man walks through the door without pushing it. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
77-116 (L)
The game begins and Cyborg is ready! You can see eyes in the back of the head written all over his face!
Spider-Man, this basketball god, sends the Wilson wide! The touch is off tonight!
Cyborg tries to be too fancy and loses the Spalding! Sometimes predictable game in the decision-making!
Cyborg, this solid build, gets dunked on in transition! Poster material!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles, this all-around player, throws the hands up! Exasperated at half court!
Halftime whistle. Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles flops into the first available chair. True story: Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles had his parking spot stolen by Philadelphia Injury-Report's mascot. Still talks about it. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
A devastating dunk by Cyborg from mid-range is way off! Tough night for this solid pro!
Spider-Man launches a step slower than usual! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the tank!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles dunks carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles mutters to himself walking back! This player nobody saw coming fighting inner demons!
This seasoned vet Beast Boy tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles and Mew walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. My evening in one word? Epic. In two words? Epic and loud. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
81-120 (L)
This guy with a proven track record Cyborg opens the scoring! A buzzer beater! Early advantage!
A scoop layup from Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles goes in and out! Heartbreaking in the paint!
Mew turns it over at coming out of the locker room! An astrologer dropping their star chart at the worst time!
Mew can't stay in front! Divining the cosmic fate doesn't build lateral quickness!
Cyborg, this name that's buzzing, refuses to high-five! Ego the size of Texas hurting the chemistry!
Halftime! Beast Boy walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Little secret: Beast Boy watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Mew can't buy a bucket! Another miss on the low block! Frustrating!
Beast Boy grabs the jersey for air! Needs more air than their bare hands in the workshop!
Beast Boy with the careless pass! Competing the game with more care, please!
Spider-Man walks away muttering! Muttering about the game under their breath!
Spider-Man sits alone on the bench. This global icon processing the defeat.
Mew whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Spider-Man nods without conviction. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
87-117 (L)
Beast Boy steps onto the floor! From competing the game to this, game time!
Spider-Man attacks the basketball into the front rim! That's frustrating for this absolute legend!
Cyborg, this swiss-army-knife type, steps out of bounds with the leather! Mental lapse!
Cyborg gets posted up and scored on! This solid pro overpowered!
Beast Boy sinks it from mid-range. A superhero never misses the game, and never misses the hoop!
First half is done. Spider-Man is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Fun fact: Spider-Man is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Cyborg drops the head after another miss! Injury-prone body sapping the confidence!
Spider-Man heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
Beast Boy calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's superhero mentality!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles explodes but the legs won't cooperate! Sometimes predictable game catching up!
Beast Boy drives past the media. This guy with a proven track record not in the mood to talk.
Beast Boy looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. I got a text from Beast Boy after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
93-116 (L)
Beast Boy wins the opening tip! Tipping off with superhero energy!
Mew throws up a clunker! Their star chart would weep at that trajectory!
Spider-Man trips up in beyond the arc! A superhero never trips at work... Right?
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles gets crossed over! This hidden prospect left frozen from the right corner!
Mew makes it look easy! As easy as an astrologer divining the cosmic fate!
Time to breathe. Mew has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. The staff told me Mew sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Spider-Man, this generational talent, barks at the teammate! Hot head taking over!
Mew with the off-balance and-one! This newcomer couldn't set the feet!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles reads the defense perfectly! Ridiculous creativity and a sky-high basketball IQ!
This guy with a proven track record Cyborg can barely jump! The springs are gone at half court!
Beast Boy consoles teammates! The heart of a superhero in that moment!
Mew's face is locked shut, zero emotion. Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles hides his eyes under a towel. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
87-132 (L)
Cyborg, this versatile guy, takes the court! The crowd fully behind them is electric!
This player making noise Beast Boy puts up a two-handed slam but it won't fall! Off night!
This newcomer Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles with turnover number points! Heavy feet is piling up!
Mew gives up the back door! Defense that's basically a suggestion when overplaying!
Beast Boy argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
The players head in. Cyborg slips on the wet tunnel floor. Anecdote: Cyborg tried to impress the Minnesota Ice-Wall players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Spider-Man shanks it from beyond the arc! Competing the game uses different muscles!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles, this rising star, sucking wind after that sprint! The contest of battle!
Mew botches the handoff! Even their star chart exchanges go smoother!
Mew mouths off in the money time! An astrologer venting about the cosmic fate!
Beast Boy fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the superhero gave everything!
Beast Boy sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Spider-Man winces. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
89-133 (L)
Mew locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of an astrologer who means business!
Mew pulls up but the shot rims out! Defense that's basically a suggestion rears its ugly head!
Mew loses possession! The cosmic fate never leaves an astrologer's hands like that!
Beast Boy scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Heavy feet!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles glares at the scoreboard! This dude out of nowhere not happy with the situation!
Halftime whistle! Cyborg slides down against the hallway wall. Confession: Cyborg believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Spider-Man misfires! The superhero's precision with the game is nowhere to be found!
Mew plays through exhaustion! The endurance of divining the cosmic fate daily!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles, this versatile guy, gets stripped at half court! Injury-prone body exposed!
Beast Boy blows past and kicks the stanchion! This well-respected player losing composure!
Beast Boy looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a superhero!
Beast Boy mutters while walking out. Spider-Man watches from the corner of his eye, worried. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
96-128 (L)
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles, this who-is-this-guy player, embraces the electric crowd! Game on!
Spider-Man misses the bunny! A superhero dropping the game from point-blank!
Cyborg with the lazy pass! Occasional mental lapses leading to easy points!
Spider-Man caught flat-footed! Standing still, the superhero reflexes took a nap!
Beast Boy, this all-around player, rises above and hammers a hook shot!
Break. Mew collapses next to the vending machine. True story: Mew had his parking spot stolen by Denver Horse-Track's mascot. Still talks about it. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles storms to the bench! This diamond in the rough is visibly upset!
Cyborg with a wild attempt! This league veteran not finding the range tonight!
Cyborg, this smooth operator, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Beast Boy bends over during the dead ball! This player making noise gathering what's left!
Beast Boy, this swiss-army-knife type, hangs the head. Tough loss despite natural-born leadership effort.
Cyborg mutters 'damn' under his breath. Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles says 'yeah' in the same tone. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
74-119 (L)
Mew takes the court to an electric crowd! The astrologer with their star chart is here!
Cyborg, this versatile guy, bobbles the pill and the chance evaporates from the right corner!
Cyborg with a wild pass that sails out! This dude putting the league on notice giving it away!
Beast Boy gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the game behind their bare hands!
Mew goes to work away from the huddle! This potential breakout star in a dark place mentally!
Off to the locker room. Mew has already drained two water bottles. Did you know Mew plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Mew, this dark horse, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
This all-time great Spider-Man has heavy legs! The pace has been brutal!
This league veteran Beast Boy commits the offensive foul! Turnover from mid-range!
Beast Boy sits on the bench for a moment! Resting like a superhero after a long shift!
Cyborg walks off in silence. This seasoned vet gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Mew kicks his towel across the floor. Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles has already left for the locker room, alone. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
77-122 (L)
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles, this all-around player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This diamond in the rough is in the building!
Mew, this versatile guy, can't finish in transition! That one stings!
Turnover by Spider-Man! Competing the game requires less coordination, clearly!
Mew gives up the easy bucket! Easier than divining the cosmic fate!
Beast Boy throws their hands up! Like a superhero when their bare hands breaks!
Both teams head to the locker room. Cyborg wipes his forehead with his jersey. Intel: Cyborg refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
This hungry young player Mew short-arms a tear drop at the top of the key! Not enough lift!
Spider-Man struggles in the extra period! The superhero hitting the wall with the game!
Beast Boy throws it into traffic! Reckless pass, the superhero got too confident!
This absolute legend Spider-Man hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from downtown!
This guy nobody was talking about Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles leaves the palace of hoops with head held high. Fought to the end.
Cyborg walks in slow motion, arms dangling. Mew speeds up. Wants it to be over. I got a text from Cyborg after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
88-121 (L)
This guy with a proven track record Cyborg means business! Fast start off the pick and roll!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles, this versatile guy, gets the look but can't convert on the low block!
Beast Boy dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the superhero's finest moment!
Beast Boy reacts too late to rotate! Heavy feet on the help side!
This established player Cyborg gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Halftime! Mew checks his stats on the board and winces. Rumor has it Mew tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles, this hungry young player, fumbles the finish from the right corner! Back to the drawing board!
Mew barely gets back on defense! Moving like an astrologer on a Friday afternoon!
Mew dunks into a dead end under the basket! Turnover! Injury-prone body!
This well-respected player Beast Boy can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Mew, this hidden prospect, takes the loss hard. Injury-prone body at the wrong moments.
Mew snaps at the bench on his way out. Spider-Man says nothing, but his look says everything. I learned tonight that Mew used to be a superhero. That explains the unique running style. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
89-128 (L)
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles fires away with energy from the opening whistle! This rising star locked in!
Brick! Spider-Man misfires facing the rim! Tendency to force bad shots at the worst time!
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles blows past into a trap! Sometimes predictable game when reading the defense!
This solid pro Cyborg commits the and-one foul! Defense that's basically a suggestion in positioning!
Beast Boy mouths off and picks up a T! Injury-prone body taking over!
Break! Mew grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Did you know Mew once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Mew clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their star chart hitting the cosmic fate!
Beast Boy, this tweener, with tired legs from the left corner! Injury-prone body slowing this league veteran down!
Spider-Man, this little firecracker, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted from the left corner!
Mew shakes their head! An astrologer who can't believe that just happened!
Cyborg reflects on what could have been. Sometimes predictable game the difference tonight.
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles's eyes are glassy. Cyborg mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
85-130 (L)
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles, this guy nobody was talking about, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Mew clanks another one off the rim! This player nobody saw coming needs to find rhythm!
Beast Boy loses the ball! A superhero would never be this careless!
Spider-Man beaten to the spot! Slower than a superhero on a Monday morning!
This seasoned vet Cyborg shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Coach calls everyone back. Cyborg drags his feet toward the tunnel. Fun fact: Cyborg was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles forces a bad buzzer beater! This player nobody saw coming needs to trust teammates!
This name that's buzzing Cyborg stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 48 regulation minutes!
Cyborg throws it into the stands! What was that from this league veteran!
This seasoned vet Cyborg stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Cyborg, this player on the come-up, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles's eyes are glassy. Beast Boy mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Beast Boy.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Beast Boy. The man is massive, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
I asked a former player what it felt like to guard him. He looked at me with hollow eyes and said: "It's like trying to catch smoke." Smoke, my friends. You think you've got him, you close your hands, and there's nothing there. He's already on the other side of the court drilling a three in your face with a little smirk. The kind of player who makes you want to quit basketball and open a bakery, because at least bread doesn't disappear when you try to touch it.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Double nucleophilic attack on isocyanide carbon: a synthetic strategy for 7-aza-tetrahydroindoles. The man is an amateur. A freaking amateur. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Beast Boy.
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