My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | My Team | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby! Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Kobe Bryant! Picture this: standing at 198 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Chang Chong-Chen. Profession? Artisan. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with hand plane, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into honest wood could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn. The budget? Astronomical. The owner said "let's go" and signed the check without even looking at the number. We're deep into the luxury tax, every dollar over the threshold costs triple, and the accountant has nightmares every single night. But when you've got two superstars, a fifteen-man roster where the weakest link would start elsewhere, and a coaching staff paid in gold, you don't give a damn about the bill. It's championship or bust, and they've chosen their side.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
77-118 (L)
This established player Anthony Edwards comes out aggressive! Opens with a reverse layup under the basket!
A hook shot from Joe Biden sails wide! This franchise cornerstone needs to regroup!
Joe Biden, this do-it-all player, fumbles the entry pass at half court!
Joe Biden beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the young scholars slipping from a university professor!
Kobe Bryant slams the Spalding in frustration! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
That's a cut. Chang Chong-Chen stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Locker room anecdote: Chang Chong-Chen talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Both teams retake the floor. The best may be yet to come.
Chang Chong-Chen with a rough off-balance shot along the baseline! Sometimes predictable game at the worst time!
Chang Chong-Chen needs oxygen! More winded than an artisan after overtime!
Anthony Edwards, this towering presence, commits the travel! Limited stamina in the footwork!
This max-contract guy Kyrie Irving can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
This dark horse Chang Chong-Chen shakes hands and moves on. In the end, occasional mental lapses proved costly.
Joe Biden rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Chang Chong-Chen picks up his own and folds it carefully. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
115-92 (W)
Tip-off! Anthony Edwards gets us started! Let's go!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant is automatic at half court! A buzzer beater drops again!
Chang Chong-Chen locks down the baseline! Fortified with the hand plane!
Chang Chong-Chen drops the dime! An artisan with court vision like that? Unreal!
This potential breakout star Chang Chong-Chen runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Halftime. Anthony Edwards wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Physio's confession: Anthony Edwards purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, takes over back to the basket. A buzzer beater! That's elite!
The PA announcer can't pronounce Chang Chong-Chen's the hand plane! Comedy at the floor!
This big-name player Kyrie Irving claps for the rookie! Encouragement from this big-name player!
Kobe Bryant is writing the story tonight! This household name with a step-back three back to the basket!
Kobe Bryant, this long boy, celebrates the win! A raised fist! What a game!
Joe Biden and Kobe Bryant share a 30-second hug. Anthony Edwards wants in. Gets pushed away. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
105-117 (L)
This big-name player Kyrie Irving catches the Spalding early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Anthony Edwards fires a bucket from downtown but can't connect! Shaky emotions under pressure showing!
Kobe Bryant throws it into the stands! What was that from this guy with rings on every finger!
Chang Chong-Chen gambles for the steal and pays the price! Heavy feet!
Kyrie Irving scores with eyes in the back of the head. A fadeaway jumper from downtown! Too smooth!
Halftime! Joe Biden is limping slightly heading off the court. Confession: Joe Biden calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Anthony Edwards can't mask the disappointment! This next-level player wearing it on the sleeve!
Joe Biden spins the basketball but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
Anthony Edwards, this tree of a man, sets a brick-wall screen! Unreal swagger on full display!
Joe Biden explodes sluggishly! Sometimes predictable game catching up with this global icon!
Chang Chong-Chen absorbs the defeat! Taking it on the chin, an artisan knows tough days!
Kyrie Irving's eyes are red, jaw tight. Anthony Edwards apologizes to the coach, voice cracking. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
121-97 (W)
This dude putting the league on notice Anthony Edwards comes out firing! A free throw in the first minute!
Anthony Edwards, this well-respected player, drops a step-back three in the paint! Pure artistry!
Anthony Edwards rotates perfectly for the brilliant anticipation! An unmatched feel for the game on full display!
This established star Kyrie Irving with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Kobe Bryant uses the hesitation dribble! Silky smooth technique creating separation!
Intermission. Kobe Bryant dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Little scoop: Kobe Bryant logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Chang Chong-Chen handles the Spalding like the hand plane. A two-handed slam at half court! The precision of an artisan!
Listen to that roar! Chang Chong-Chen blows past and the place explodes!
This household name Joe Biden swings the rock around! Pure God-given talent ball movement!
This unknown gem Chang Chong-Chen refuses to lose! The will of a champion!
Anthony Edwards, this tree of a man, salutes the faithful! A slide across the hardwood! What a night!
Chang Chong-Chen and Kyrie Irving form a tunnel for Kobe Bryant to crawl through. Too tall. Gets stuck. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Kobe Bryant. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
96-97 (L)
Chang Chong-Chen sets the tone early! The artisan came to play tonight!
Chang Chong-Chen with a layup off the pick! Using screens better than most pros!
Kobe Bryant, this beanpole, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over lack of consistency!
Chang Chong-Chen bricks it! Not the same accuracy as shaping the honest wood!
Kobe Bryant forces the turnover! This basketball god creating opportunities on both ends!
Halftime. The doctor examines Kyrie Irving's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Anecdote: Kyrie Irving tried to impress the Phoenix No-Defense players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Kyrie Irving misfires on the potential dagger! This bonafide star lets them off the hook!
Kobe Bryant, this absolute legend, barks at the teammate! Tendency to force bad shots taking over!
This will be talked about for years! Anthony Edwards with a floater! Iconic!
This basketball god Joe Biden picks up the foul in late in the quarter! Terrible timing!
Kyrie Irving, this bonafide star, takes the loss hard. Tendency to rush at the wrong moments.
Chang Chong-Chen's gaze is cold, distant. Kyrie Irving's gaze is hot, angry. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
112-90 (W)
Game time! Chang Chong-Chen and this total unknown ready to put on a show at the gym!
What a play by Anthony Edwards! A catch-and-shoot triple from the right corner! This seasoned vet is cooking!
Chang Chong-Chen takes the ball right out of their hands! Grip of an artisan!
Kobe Bryant picks apart the defense! Assist leads to a fadeaway jumper!
Kyrie Irving, this franchise guy, manages the clock beautifully in the closing moments!
The players leave the court. Anthony Edwards clings to the tunnel railing. Physio's confession: Anthony Edwards purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Kyrie Irving blows past the Wilson with a gym-rat work ethic. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
The announcer calls Chang Chong-Chen 'The artisan!' the temple of basketball roars its approval!
Chang Chong-Chen syncs with the lineup! In sync like the hand plane and the honest wood!
From the workshop to the palace of hoops, Joe Biden brings precision worthy of their lecture notes!
Chang Chong-Chen finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers an artisan would be proud of!
Joe Biden and Chang Chong-Chen carry Anthony Edwards like a trophy across the entire court. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
105-93 (W)
Joe Biden steps onto the hardwood! From challenging the young scholars to this, game time!
Anthony Edwards, this well-respected player, operates from downtown with an and-one! Clinic!
Joe Biden anticipates perfectly! A university professor who always sees it coming!
Anthony Edwards, this solid pro, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a deep three!
This player making noise Anthony Edwards adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Halftime! Anthony Edwards has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Fun fact: Anthony Edwards failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Kobe Bryant, this certified GOAT candidate, drills another two-handed slam in the paint! Automatic!
Joe Biden, this generational talent, plays to the crowd! A packed arena is contagious!
Chang Chong-Chen plays their role perfectly! Role player, role artisan with the hand plane!
The legend of Chang Chong-Chen grows! This surprise package adding another chapter from the left corner!
Kyrie Irving, this solid build, acknowledges the fans! A roaring arena! A team high-five!
Chang Chong-Chen pretends to faint from happiness. Anthony Edwards pretends to call 911. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
115-96 (W)
Chang Chong-Chen begins their shift on the field house! An artisan starting the hand plane shift!
This hooper's hooper Anthony Edwards does it again! A scoop layup with effortless precision!
This hooper's hooper Anthony Edwards reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
This respected competitor Anthony Edwards creates for others! Unselfish play with a gym-rat work ethic!
This big-name player Kyrie Irving calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Back to the locker room. Joe Biden punches his locker. Juicy intel: Joe Biden turned down an endorsement deal because he'd have to wear a mascot costume. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Kyrie Irving lets fly and converts! A two-handed slam from mid-range! Money!
You can feel a boiling cauldron through the screen! Joe Biden in the spotlight!
Anthony Edwards, this giant, boxes out for the teammate! This hooper's hooper doing the dirty work!
This player making noise Anthony Edwards channels the inner champion! Next-level basketball IQ at its peak!
Kyrie Irving walks off the hardwood victorious! This franchise guy owns this moment!
Chang Chong-Chen rips the net off the rim. Kobe Bryant wraps it around his neck like a scarf. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
91-120 (L)
Chang Chong-Chen fades away with energy from the opening whistle! This surprise package locked in!
Kobe Bryant, this oversized freak, gets the look but can't convert under the basket!
Anthony Edwards charges right into the defender! Turnover! Lack of consistency when controlling pace!
Anthony Edwards turns the head and loses the man! This player on the come-up napping defensively!
This up-and-coming baller Anthony Edwards capitalizes in the paint! A buzzer-beater with a gym-rat work ethic!
The locker room. Kobe Bryant sprawls out full-length on the bench. Little scoop: Kobe Bryant collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
This rising star Chang Chong-Chen slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Anthony Edwards, this player making noise, with a contested devastating dunk that misses in transition!
Anthony Edwards drives with purpose every possession! This well-respected player chess master!
Joe Biden is running on pure willpower! This once-in-a-lifetime player refusing to quit!
Joe Biden walks off in silence. This living legend gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Joe Biden rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Chang Chong-Chen picks up his own and folds it carefully. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
101-105 (L)
Kyrie Irving, this multi-time All-Star, embraces the standing ovation! Game on!
Kobe Bryant, this colossus, with a silky buzzer-beater driving to the hoop! Smooth operator!
This generational talent Kobe Bryant can't recover! Scored on along the baseline! Sometimes predictable game!
Kobe Bryant with a wild attempt! This all-time great not finding the range tonight!
Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, refuses to die! A pull-up jumper keeps the dream alive!
The players head in. Kobe Bryant slips on the wet tunnel floor. Did you know? Kobe Bryant has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Anthony Edwards, this long boy, forces a bad shot in the fourth quarter! Tendency to force bad shots!
Anthony Edwards, this long boy, waves off the play call! Tendency to rush hurting the team!
This jersey-selling name Kyrie Irving has that look in the eyes! Watch out! Pure God-given talent!
Joe Biden, this all-around player, gets blocked in the clutch! A double team denies this undisputed superstar!
Anthony Edwards had the chances but couldn't convert. This up-and-coming baller left wanting.
Kyrie Irving looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Joe Biden looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
97-103 (L)
Joe Biden explodes into position! This household name not wasting any time!
Chang Chong-Chen, this tweener, can't finish from mid-range! That one stings!
This legit talent Anthony Edwards with turnover number buckets! Defense that's basically a suggestion is piling up!
Anthony Edwards, this walking skyscraper, gets dunked on in transition! Poster material!
Kyrie Irving, this tweener, dominates along the baseline and puts up a hook shot! Unstoppable!
That's a cut. Joe Biden stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Little scoop: Joe Biden tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Anthony Edwards, this tree of a man, pounds the scorer's table! Injury-prone body on full display!
Anthony Edwards blows past the basketball into nothing! Ego the size of Texas on full display tonight!
Kyrie Irving, this do-it-all player, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Eyes in the back of the head!
Kobe Bryant, this oversized freak, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Chang Chong-Chen takes the loss hard! Hard as the honest wood on a bad artisan day!
Kobe Bryant shakes Anthony Edwards's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
91-110 (L)
Joe Biden starts in the playmaker! Playing the playmaker way a university professor plays with their lecture notes!
Joe Biden misses the free throw! Challenging the young scholars under pressure is easier!
Kobe Bryant tries to be too fancy and loses the rock! Injury-prone body in the decision-making!
Kyrie Irving lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this established star fooled!
Chang Chong-Chen catches and shoots,a sky hook! Quick hands from shaping the honest wood!
The players head to the locker room. Anthony Edwards is sweating like a racehorse. Small detail: Anthony Edwards wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, throws the hands up! Exasperated in transition!
Chang Chong-Chen launches and misses! The rock isn't the honest wood, and it shows!
Chang Chong-Chen dishes to the right spot! Silky smooth technique off-ball movement!
Kobe Bryant, this long boy, looks exhausted from downtown! The legs are gone!
Joe Biden leaves the palace of hoops quietly! Quiet as a university professor after the young scholars setback!
Kyrie Irving leaves the court at a jog. Joe Biden stays there, planted at center court, motionless. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
112-91 (W)
This dark horse Chang Chong-Chen in the starting lineup! Let's see what this dark horse brings!
This All-Star caliber talent Kyrie Irving with a cold-blooded off-balance shot! No conscience!
Joe Biden deflects the pass! Redirecting with university professor instincts!
Chang Chong-Chen explodes and dishes! Gorgeous feed back to the basket! A gym-rat work ethic!
This max-contract guy Kyrie Irving attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
End of the first act. Kobe Bryant is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Intel: Kobe Bryant refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Chang Chong-Chen, this all-around player, posts up and delivers a floater! Textbook!
Kobe Bryant, this beanpole, gets the standing ovation! A packed arena!
Anthony Edwards takes off the orange with patience! This player on the come-up trusting the system!
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant proves the critics wrong! A signature move vindication!
Kobe Bryant spins in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Joe Biden does a belly slide on the court. Kyrie Irving does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. Tonight I had a revelation: Kyrie Irving runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
97-120 (L)
The game begins and Kobe Bryant is ready! You can see that dawg mentality written all over his face!
Chang Chong-Chen misfires in the paint! Even this guy nobody was talking about has off nights!
This potential GOAT Joe Biden dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Kobe Bryant gets burned on the drive! Defense that's basically a suggestion in lateral movement!
Chang Chong-Chen drains it! Emptying the tank like an artisan on double shift!
Break! Kobe Bryant grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Bus driver's confession: Kobe Bryant raps gibberish during road trips. Loudly. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
Joe Biden drops the head after another miss! Shaky emotions under pressure sapping the confidence!
Chang Chong-Chen can't connect! The hand plane in hand, sure. The orange through the hoop, nope!
Kobe Bryant, this absolute legend, draws the double team and finds the open man! High IQ!
Kyrie Irving, this solid build, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
This absolute legend Kobe Bryant stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this absolute legend wanted.
Kyrie Irving closes his eyes walking out. Chang Chong-Chen keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
77-122 (L)
And we're underway! Chang Chong-Chen touches the Wilson first! This rising star looks eager!
This generational talent Kobe Bryant misses the mark! A scoop layup goes begging at the top of the key!
Kobe Bryant loses the orange in traffic! This household name can't afford that!
Anthony Edwards scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Hot head!
This undisputed superstar Kobe Bryant throws an elbow in frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
Break time. Chang Chong-Chen bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Rumor has it Chang Chong-Chen talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
This total unknown Chang Chong-Chen with a rare miss from the left corner! Even the best stumble!
Kyrie Irving, this do-it-all player, laboring up and down! Tendency to force bad shots draining the energy!
Anthony Edwards goes to work into a dead end from mid-range! Turnover! Ego the size of Texas!
Joe Biden dribbles away from the huddle! This generational talent in a dark place mentally!
Kyrie Irving dishes to the tunnel in disappointment. This multi-time All-Star will learn from this.
Kyrie Irving's eyes are glassy. Chang Chong-Chen mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Behind the scenes, I learned Chang Chong-Chen was also an artisan in a past life. You can feel it in the game. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
My Team finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: Kobe Bryant.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby!
Alright, let's not kid ourselves, if the arena is packed to the gills, it's because of THE phenomenon. This guy isn't just a basketball player, he's a walking cheat code on the hardwood: give it up for Kobe Bryant! Picture this: standing at 198 cm, but he handles the rock with the agility of a 5'10" point guard and launches missiles from 30 feet like he's at shootaround. When he attacks the paint, it's simple, he's a freight train: either you get out of the way, or you end up on his poster doing the rounds on social media for a week straight.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: Chang Chong-Chen. Profession? Artisan. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with hand plane, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into honest wood could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn.
The budget? Astronomical. The owner said "let's go" and signed the check without even looking at the number. We're deep into the luxury tax, every dollar over the threshold costs triple, and the accountant has nightmares every single night. But when you've got two superstars, a fifteen-man roster where the weakest link would start elsewhere, and a coaching staff paid in gold, you don't give a damn about the bill. It's championship or bust, and they've chosen their side.
My Team finishes #11 (6W-9L). Better luck next season! MVP: Kobe Bryant.
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