My dream starting five ā basketball_team šŗšø
5 members Ā· TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | My Team | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Luka DonÄiÄ. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 201 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. The chef's surprise of the evening is Logan Paul. A movie actor by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle film character with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. The budget is starting to look sexy. They're over the cap, the owner is coughing up some luxury tax, and the roster has some swagger. There's experience, talent, and that little extra something that makes opponents take you seriously. It's not superteam territory yet, but damn, we're not in the gutter anymore either. The GM built a smart roster with guys who complement each other well. The kind of team that can wreak havoc in the playoffs if the stars align.
Matchday 1 ā vs Detroit Engine-Roar
87-124 (L)
Tip-off! Luka DonÄiÄ gets us started! Let's go!
Logan Paul can't hit from the restricted area! That zone is cursed for this movie actor!
Michael Jordan, this mammoth, steps out of bounds with the Spalding! Mental lapse!
Luka DonÄiÄ gets posted up and scored on! This bonafide star overpowered!
This headliner Luka DonÄiÄ shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Halftime. The doctor examines Michael Jordan's shoulder while the others catch their breath. I've been told Michael Jordan once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Logan Paul rattles it out! Shaking the floor with the script binder intensity!
Logan Paul bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a movie actor after the script binder overtime!
This franchise guy Jenna Ortega commits the offensive foul! Turnover from downtown!
Michael Jordan slams the damn ball in frustration! Sometimes predictable game on full display!
Andrew Tate leaves the arena with dignity! The dignity of a mixed martial arts fighter with the mouth guard!
Luka DonÄiÄ's brow is furrowed, lips pressed thin. Michael Jordan breathes through his nose, hard, steady, trying to calm down. I discovered tonight that my mic was off for three minutes. Three minutes of pure genius, lost forever. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 2 ā vs Miami Heart-Attack
117-96 (W)
Jenna Ortega sets the tone early! The philanthropist came to play tonight!
Michael Jordan, this global icon, drops a two-handed slam from the right corner! Pure artistry!
Logan Paul stands firm! Not moving, this movie actor is planted!
Jenna Ortega finds them in the right wing! Navigating the floor like a philanthropist navigates rush hour!
This top-tier talent Luka DonÄiÄ uses the floater over this 7-footer coverage! Smart!
Finally a breather. Andrew Tate has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Did you know Andrew Tate knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Miami Heart-Attack's colors. By accident, obviously. The players are back on the court. Here we go again!
Michael Jordan crosses over and it's a thunderous slam! This potential GOAT proving the doubters wrong!
The building is buzzing! Michael Jordan and a boiling cauldron creating magic!
Jenna Ortega rallies everyone! The rally of a philanthropist rallying around the game!
The story of Logan Paul: a movie actor by morning, a baller by night. The film character would be proud!
This certified GOAT candidate Michael Jordan wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Logan Paul rips off his jersey and launches it into the crowd. Andrew Tate does the same. The coach rolls his eyes. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 3 ā vs Orlando Magic-Beans
114-103 (W)
Jenna Ortega, this top-tier talent, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Michael Jordan, this living legend, drills another pull-up jumper in transition! Automatic!
Logan Paul pressures the inbound! This solid pro with relentless that dawg mentality!
Luka DonÄiÄ with the bounce pass! This big-name player threading it perfectly!
Michael Jordan dribbles into the right spacing! Silky smooth technique and elite court awareness!
Break! Michael Jordan has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. They say Michael Jordan eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Logan Paul knocks it down! Solid as a movie actor with the script binder in hand!
The crowd chants Jenna Ortega's name! A boiling cauldron for the philanthropist with their bare hands!
Jenna Ortega syncs with the lineup! In sync like their bare hands and the game!
Jenna Ortega is having a career night! Better than any day with their bare hands!
Luka DonÄiÄ attacks off the court victorious! This top-tier talent leaves it all out there!
Andrew Tate and Logan Paul slap each other's butts. Michael Jordan declines the invitation. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 4 ā vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
118-77 (W)
Andrew Tate, this top-tier talent, draws first blood! A bank shot to start!
Andrew Tate scores again! When you're a mixed martial arts fighter by trade, the Wilson is child's play!
Logan Paul reads the defense like a book! Assist from downtown! Unreal swagger!
Andrew Tate rises up and scores! Those mixed martial arts fighter hands work wonders with the pill!
Michael Jordan draws the offensive foul! Smart play, great positioning!
Break. Jenna Ortega's socks are soaking wet ā quick change on the spot. Did you know? Jenna Ortega tried to become a rapper before basketball. The world dodged a bullet. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
This big-name player Luka DonÄiÄ capitalizes in transition! A devastating dunk with an off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Logan Paul piles it on! A floater extends the lead! No mercy tonight!
Luka DonÄiÄ goes to work and the damn ball goes into the stands! Free souvenir!
Logan Paul, this player making noise, with the signature fist pump toward the bench! The fans love it!
Michael Jordan tosses the leather in the air! A hug with the coach! This first-ballot legend mission accomplished!
Logan Paul rips the net off the rim. Luka DonÄiÄ wraps it around his neck like a scarf. I tried to take a selfie with the court in the background. My thumb is over the lens. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 5 ā vs Phoenix No-Defense
117-91 (W)
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, sets the tone immediately! Scary good handles from the jump!
Michael Jordan, this potential GOAT, exploits the mismatch for a thunderous slam! Too easy!
Jenna Ortega swats it away! A monster swat with that philanthropist strength!
Luka DonÄiÄ, this All-Star caliber talent, manipulates the defense and drops the dime! Nerves of steel!
Andrew Tate, this combo guard, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Halftime! Andrew Tate walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Did you know? Andrew Tate once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Luka DonÄiÄ spins past the defense for an off-balance shot! Size advantage from this this tree of a man!
This guy everybody knows Luka DonÄiÄ brings a boiling cauldron to a new level! Incredible scene!
Jenna Ortega communicates on the switch! Clear as a philanthropist's directions!
Luka DonÄiÄ is the protagonist tonight! This established star authoring a masterpiece!
This well-respected player Logan Paul seals the deal! Victory with natural-born leadership!
Logan Paul points both hands at the sky. Jenna Ortega points at Logan Paul. Luka DonÄiÄ points at the exit. Tonight I yelled so loud the guy in the next booth asked me to keep it down. Mid-game. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 6 ā vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
124-91 (W)
Michael Jordan fades away onto the floor! The crowd roars for this franchise cornerstone!
Luka DonÄiÄ, this max-contract guy, threads the needle for a layup back to the basket!
Michael Jordan with the touch pass! This all-time great barely had the damn ball and found the man!
Logan Paul with the step-back bucket! Creating space like a movie actor with the script binder!
Michael Jordan, this household name, walls up at half court! Impenetrable defense!
Halftime. Michael Jordan is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Locker room intel: Michael Jordan has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
A two-handed slam from Luka DonÄiÄ! Another dagger! This certified bucket closing the door!
This basketball god Michael Jordan puts the exclamation point! An and-one back to the basket!
This headliner Luka DonÄiÄ celebrates too early! A fadeaway jumper didn't count! Awkward!
Luka DonÄiÄ high-fives everyone on the bench! A slide across the hardwood! The energy is contagious!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, acknowledges the fans! A hostile crowd! A salute to the fans!
Luka DonÄiÄ and Logan Paul run circles around Andrew Tate who doesn't move. Zen. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 7 ā vs Toronto Border-Patrol
114-86 (W)
Jenna Ortega, this scrappy guard, announced to huge cheers! An incredible energy!
Andrew Tate applies the same technique to the leather as to the opponent's guard. A two-handed slam from way beyond the arc!
Michael Jordan, this certified GOAT candidate, pokes the Wilson free! Scramble from mid-range!
This All-Star caliber talent Andrew Tate with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Luka DonÄiÄ, this big fella, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Well-deserved break. Logan Paul looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Intel: Logan Paul once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Luka DonÄiÄ launches the rock with insane court vision. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Logan Paul in a standing ovation! This dude putting the league on notice has been waiting for this stage!
This all-time great Michael Jordan motivates the squad in the huddle! Natural leader!
Andrew Tate is writing the story tonight! This elite player with a catch-and-shoot triple at the top of the key!
That's the game! Luka DonÄiÄ finishes with a monster performance! This reliable star victorious!
Michael Jordan runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Logan Paul follows doing the wave alone. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 8 ā vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
98-93 (W)
Luka DonÄiÄ takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Michael Jordan with the smooth scoop layup! This hall-of-fame lock making it look easy!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, swats it into the third row! A crucial offensive board!
Luka DonÄiÄ, this top-tier talent, drives and kicks! Perfect assist for a step-back three!
Logan Paul makes the right read! Saw it coming a mile away, true movie actor!
Halftime! Luka DonÄiÄ looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Locker room intel: Luka DonÄiÄ has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Luka DonÄiÄ catches fire! And it's a catch-and-shoot triple! Iron discipline taking over!
Post-game fireworks for Logan Paul! Brighter than the script binder on a perfect day!
Michael Jordan makes the extra pass! This franchise cornerstone hockey assist for a devastating dunk!
Andrew Tate dunks with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
This multi-time All-Star Luka DonÄiÄ caps off a special night! A team high-five! Until next time!
Logan Paul launches his shoe into the air. Michael Jordan catches it. Standing ovation. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 9 ā vs Houston Blast-Off
108-112 (L)
Logan Paul huddles with the team! Huddling up, the movie actor strategizes!
This absolute legend Michael Jordan with a vintage reverse layup! The old magic is still there!
Jenna Ortega loses the screen battle! Injury-prone body around the picks!
Logan Paul shoots short! Not enough juice! Even a movie actor would cringe!
Michael Jordan converts the and-one! A bucket! This absolute legend won't go quietly!
The players head in. Andrew Tate slips on the wet tunnel floor. Did you know Andrew Tate started basketball because he was terrible at soccer? Sometimes failure leads to greatness. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
This legit talent Logan Paul misses the free throws! Shaky emotions under pressure at the line!
Jenna Ortega kicks the air! The frustration of a philanthropist who knows they can do better!
Logan Paul, this name that's buzzing, has been building to this all game! On the decisive possession!
This legit talent Logan Paul dribbles out the clock! Sometimes predictable game costing precious seconds!
Logan Paul walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to movie actor life tomorrow!
Logan Paul bites his lip, fists clenched. Andrew Tate shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
Matchday 10 ā vs Denver Horse-Track
105-102 (W)
Andrew Tate takes the court to a cathedral silence! The mixed martial arts fighter with the mouth guard is here!
Jenna Ortega wins the rebound battle! Snatched it like a philanthropist on the clock!
Andrew Tate takes off but overcooks it! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing up again!
Michael Jordan takes off the pill into a catch-and-shoot triple! Ridiculous creativity shining through!
Andrew Tate explodes with purpose every possession! This elite player chess master!
Intermission. Logan Paul dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Fun fact: Logan Paul tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
Logan Paul converts in traffic during the closing moments! A fadeaway jumper! Unreal swagger!
Jenna Ortega shuts down the lane! Closed for business, like a philanthropist closing the game!
Camera pans to Jenna Ortega's philanthropist colleagues in the stands! Philanthropist solidarity!
Andrew Tate with the clutch steal! Quick hands from this mixed martial arts fighter!
Jenna Ortega walks off the den victorious! A philanthropist who conquered it all tonight!
Andrew Tate and Luka DonÄiÄ pretend to fish Jenna Ortega out of the crowd. They pull hard. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 11 ā vs New York Over-Timers
95-110 (L)
Andrew Tate lands the first half-court heave! First blood! The mixed martial arts fighter strikes first!
Michael Jordan clanks another one off the rim! This undisputed superstar needs to find rhythm!
Logan Paul throws it into traffic! Reckless pass, the movie actor got too confident!
Jenna Ortega gets caught flat-footed! This elite player beaten to the spot!
Jenna Ortega scores from the elbow! Perfect angle, the philanthropist knows geometry!
Halftime! Logan Paul looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Little secret: Logan Paul watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
Logan Paul walks away muttering! Muttering about the film character under their breath!
Andrew Tate, this swiss-army-knife type, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this bonafide star!
Luka DonÄiÄ identifies the soft spot in the zone! This max-contract guy surgical precision!
Jenna Ortega grimaces through the effort! The grimace of a philanthropist finishing the game!
Jenna Ortega packs up and heads out! Packing their bare hands, unpacking emotions!
Michael Jordan walks toward the tunnel without a word. Logan Paul stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 12 ā vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
109-97 (W)
This big-name player Andrew Tate in the starting lineup! Let's see what this big-name player brings!
Luka DonÄiÄ, this walking skyscraper, muscles in for a finger roll! Pure power!
Michael Jordan slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Unreal swagger in every step!
Logan Paul unlocks the defense! Picked it apart like a movie actor on a mission!
Michael Jordan slows the pace when the team needs it! This living legend tempo control!
Break. Andrew Tate asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Anecdote: Andrew Tate fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Jenna Ortega with the fadeaway deep three! Smooth as their bare hands in action!
This All-Star caliber talent Andrew Tate silences the hostile crowd! Wild stands shifts!
This big-name player Andrew Tate celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
This certified bucket Andrew Tate proves the critics wrong! A sequence that will go viral vindication!
Game over! Andrew Tate proved a mixed martial arts fighter belongs on the venue with the mouth guard!
Logan Paul takes a bow for the crowd. Luka DonÄiÄ bows to Logan Paul. The nobility of basketball. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 13 ā vs Boston Ring-Chasers
93-112 (L)
Jenna Ortega stretches center court! Loosening up, the philanthropist is getting ready!
Michael Jordan, this giant, draws the foul but can't capitalize! Tendency to force bad shots!
This world-class player Andrew Tate loses concentration and the rock with it!
Jenna Ortega loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
Michael Jordan with the highlight-reel devastating dunk! This hall-of-fame lock owning the moment!
Well-deserved break. Luka DonÄiÄ looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Rumor has it Luka DonÄiÄ tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Jenna Ortega slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a philanthropist hits the workbench!
Jenna Ortega clanks it off the rim! That sounded like their bare hands hitting the game!
Logan Paul reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this movie actor!
Logan Paul is huffing and puffing! Winded, even a movie actor would call it quits!
This established player Logan Paul shakes hands and moves on. In the end, sometimes predictable game proved costly.
Logan Paul sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Andrew Tate winces. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 14 ā vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
78-115 (L)
Andrew Tate locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a mixed martial arts fighter who means business!
An alley-oop from Luka DonÄiÄ sails wide! This bonafide star needs to regroup!
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, gets the ball poked away! Tendency to force bad shots when protecting the damn ball!
Andrew Tate gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the opponent's guard on a rough day!
Logan Paul can't mask the disappointment! This established player wearing it on the sleeve!
End of the second quarter. Luka DonÄiÄ is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. I've been told Luka DonÄiÄ once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Logan Paul misses the open look! A movie actor never misses the film character... But misses the Wilson!
Jenna Ortega calls for the sub! Even a philanthropist's stamina with their bare hands has limits!
This generational talent Michael Jordan dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
This established player Logan Paul throws an elbow in frustration! Defense that's basically a suggestion on full display!
Michael Jordan, this undisputed superstar, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Michael Jordan lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Logan Paul decides not to comment. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 15 ā vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
112-107 (W)
Logan Paul checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Michael Jordan blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Jenna Ortega misses the runner! Stick to the day job, buddy!
Michael Jordan shoots to the rack for an and-one! Can't contain this mountain of a man!
This name that's buzzing Logan Paul adjusts the angle mid-drive! A gym-rat work ethic body control!
Halftime whistle. Jenna Ortega spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. True story: Jenna Ortega walked into the wrong locker room during her first game against Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest. Awkward. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Logan Paul, this swiss-army-knife type, with the clutch catch-and-shoot triple! The building erupts!
Logan Paul times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A monster swat in transition!
The arena buzzes for Andrew Tate! A mixed martial arts fighter who electrifies wherever they go!
Jenna Ortega buries the go-ahead shot! Ice cold, this philanthropist doesn't flinch!
Jenna Ortega, this max-contract guy, points to the crowd! A team high-five! This was for the fans!
Luka DonÄiÄ does a cartwheel at center court. Andrew Tate tries one too and eats it. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
My Team ends the season #6 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Luka DonÄiÄ.
Season Journal
Let's not beat around the bush: tonight is going to be one hell of a show. The arena is packed, the air is unbreathable with tension, and the lights just went out for the pregame laser show. We're talking about a franchise that has weathered every storm: lockouts, star injuries, catastrophic trades, rebuilds that never seemed to end. And they're still here, standing tall, with the same fire in their belly. This club is a survivor. And when survivors bite, they don't let go. The team with no name, baby!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Luka DonÄiÄ. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 201 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless.
The chef's surprise of the evening is Logan Paul. A movie actor by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle film character with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him.
The budget is starting to look sexy. They're over the cap, the owner is coughing up some luxury tax, and the roster has some swagger. There's experience, talent, and that little extra something that makes opponents take you seriously. It's not superteam territory yet, but damn, we're not in the gutter anymore either. The GM built a smart roster with guys who complement each other well. The kind of team that can wreak havoc in the playoffs if the stars align.
My Team ends the season #6 with a 10W-5L record. Season MVP: Luka DonÄiÄ.
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