My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 5 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Phoenix No-Defense | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 13 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 15 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | My Team | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Wally West on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. The man is massive, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Hulk, his brother-in-law and a scientist by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying their lab notebook and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Hulk can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the hidden truth to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench. Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
86-130 (L)
This guy everybody knows King Kong comes out firing! A euro-step in the first minute!
Jesus Christ attacks but the shot rims out! Ego the size of Texas rears its ugly head!
Jesus Christ loses the orange! A messiah would never be this careless!
Wally West, this swiss-army-knife type, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over heavy feet!
Wally West mouths off and picks up a T! Ego the size of Texas taking over!
The players head in. Wally West slips on the wet tunnel floor. Fun fact: Wally West blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
King Kong gets a clean look but ego the size of Texas costs the bucket!
This multi-time All-Star King Kong calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Defense that's basically a suggestion taking its toll!
Tom Brady, this smooth operator, steps out of bounds with the ball! Mental lapse!
Wally West dishes the towel! This potential breakout star showing hot head!
Hulk leaves the den quietly! Quiet as a scientist after the hidden truth setback!
King Kong walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Hulk drags one foot after the other. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
92-121 (L)
This multi-time All-Star Tom Brady opens the scoring! A tear drop! Early advantage!
Hulk air-mails a catch-and-shoot triple from downtown! Way off for this first-ballot legend!
King Kong loses the orange in traffic! This jersey-selling name can't afford that!
Hulk caught flat-footed! Standing still, the scientist reflexes took a nap!
Wally West banks a sky hook off the glass! Geometry learned from the superhero life!
Break! Hulk grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Quick anecdote about Hulk: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Tom Brady, this tweener, throws the hands up! Exasperated facing the rim!
Tom Brady, this versatile guy, loses the handle and the opportunity! Shaky emotions under pressure!
This guy nobody was talking about Wally West sets the back screen! Eyes in the back of the head off-ball contribution!
This All-Star caliber talent Tom Brady is a warrior but the body says no! This ball game of war!
Wally West vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
King Kong kicks his towel across the floor. Hulk has already left for the locker room, alone. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
89-104 (L)
This guy everybody knows King Kong means business! Fast start under the basket!
Tom Brady, this tweener, bobbles the orange and the chance evaporates driving to the hoop!
Hulk throws it away! A pass worse than a scientist tossing the hidden truth!
This certified GOAT candidate Jesus Christ caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
The technical flair of Wally West recalls their superhero days. A sky hook! Sublime!
Halftime! Wally West looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Did you know Wally West keeps a photo of his dog in his right shoe? It's a Bichon. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Hulk kicks the air! The frustration of a scientist who knows they can do better!
This all-time great Hulk short-arms a finger roll along the baseline! Not enough lift!
Wally West pushes the pace in transition! Silky smooth technique showing in every play!
Wally West bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a superhero after their bare hands overtime!
Tom Brady penetrates to the tunnel in disappointment. This big-name player will learn from this.
Tom Brady pulls his cap down over his eyes. Hulk doesn't have a cap, and it shows. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
107-102 (W)
King Kong, this jersey-selling name, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Wally West, this versatile guy, blankets the shooter from the left corner! No daylight!
This generational talent Jesus Christ rattles it out! So close yet so far back to the basket!
A thunderous slam by King Kong from downtown! Natural-born leadership in every fiber!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Hulk attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!
Halftime whistle. King Kong spits into the trash can walking into the locker room. Did you know King Kong knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Philadelphia Injury-Report's colors. By accident, obviously. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
King Kong, this do-it-all player, comes up big! A free throw at the last second! Legend!
Wally West wins the rebound battle! Snatched it like a superhero on the clock!
A packed arena fills the arena! This newcomer Wally West feeds off the energy!
Tom Brady embraces the moment! A floater with seconds left on the clock! That's why he's here!
Hulk pumps the fist as the buzzer goes! This basketball god savors the win!
Hulk runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Jesus Christ follows doing the wave alone. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
109-106 (W)
King Kong dishes into position! This reliable star not wasting any time!
Tom Brady anticipates the cut and deflects the ball! This jersey-selling name reading minds!
Tom Brady dunks the orange into nothing! Lack of consistency on full display tonight!
Tom Brady goes coast to coast for a catch-and-shoot triple! This multi-time All-Star is relentless!
This established star King Kong adjusts the angle mid-drive! Next-level basketball IQ body control!
Break. Hulk collapses next to the vending machine. They say Hulk has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Wally West nails the free throws to ice it! This dark horse with steady hands!
Wally West deflects the pass! Redirecting with superhero instincts!
Post-game fireworks for Hulk! Brighter than their lab notebook on a perfect day!
This guy everybody knows Tom Brady answers back immediately! A reverse layup in the paint! Resilient!
This franchise guy King Kong seals the deal! Victory with natural-born leadership!
Wally West and Tom Brady slap each other's butts. Hulk declines the invitation. I got a text from Wally West after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Good night! Up next: 'America's Got Talent: Mouth Noises Edition.' The judges are baffled.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
92-115 (L)
Wally West locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a superhero who means business!
King Kong with a wild attempt! This certified bucket not finding the range tonight!
Jesus Christ, this combo guard, gets stripped along the baseline! Heavy feet exposed!
Jesus Christ fouls trying to recover! Desperate as a messiah chasing the game!
King Kong scores at will! A devastating dunk from the left corner! This jersey-selling name domination!
Time to breathe. King Kong has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Quick anecdote about King Kong: apparently he eats pasta with ketchup before every game. To each their own ritual. We're back! The players look fired up.
Hulk pounds the scorer's table! Frustrated! The scientist in them is showing!
Tom Brady, this solid build, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this certified bucket!
Jesus Christ, this swiss-army-knife type, sets a brick-wall screen! Natural-born leadership on full display!
Jesus Christ is spent! Used up like the game after a messiah's long day!
King Kong sits alone on the bench. This headliner processing the defeat.
Tom Brady slams his fist on the bench. Jesus Christ places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
87-107 (L)
Wally West begins their shift on the arena! A superhero starting the their bare hands shift!
King Kong rushes a devastating dunk from mid-range! Ego the size of Texas creeping in!
Jesus Christ forces the pass! Forcing their bare hands where it doesn't fit!
Wally West left in the dust! Even a superhero moves faster than that!
Tom Brady, this smooth operator, takes over from the right corner. A euro-step! That's elite!
Halftime. Jesus Christ's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Exclusive: Jesus Christ was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Tom Brady pulls up and kicks the stanchion! This top-tier talent losing composure!
Jesus Christ, this smooth operator, can't finish in transition! That one stings!
Wally West calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's superhero mentality!
King Kong is visibly tired! This certified bucket needs a timeout badly!
King Kong had the chances but couldn't convert. This world-class player left wanting.
Hulk avoids the cameras like the plague. King Kong gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. Thanks for being here. Coming up: 'Forbidden Zone: Behind the Scenes of a Vending Machine.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
82-110 (L)
Wally West checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
King Kong blows past the orange right into the defender's hands! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Hulk with the careless pass! Discoverring the hidden truth with more care, please!
Tom Brady gets screened out of the play! This headliner lost in traffic!
Hulk attacks from the left corner and finishes with a reverse layup! Too good!
Into the tunnel. Hulk grabs a banana on the way and devours it. Fun fact: Hulk tried to patent a celebration after a three-pointer. The application was rejected. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
Jesus Christ mutters to himself walking back! This undisputed superstar fighting inner demons!
A pull-up jumper from Tom Brady catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Jesus Christ sets up the play three passes ahead! Three moves ahead, like a messiah at work!
Hulk is gassed! More tired than after a full day of discoverring the hidden truth!
Hulk reflects on what could have been. Shaky emotions under pressure the difference tonight.
Jesus Christ stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Tom Brady comes back to get him. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
92-126 (L)
Wally West launches onto the floor! The crowd roars for this diamond in the rough!
Jesus Christ with the off-balance layup! This all-time great couldn't set the feet!
Hulk gets the ball stripped! The hidden truth would have stayed in a scientist's grip!
King Kong overcommits and gets beat! Hot head when reading the play!
Wally West slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a superhero hits the workbench!
Both teams head to the locker room. King Kong wipes his forehead with his jersey. Anecdote: King Kong tried to impress the Houston Blast-Off players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
Tom Brady can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this multi-time All-Star!
Hulk misses from fatigue! This hall-of-fame lock can't get the elevation along the baseline!
This guy nobody was talking about Wally West loses concentration and the Wilson with it!
Wally West tugs at their jersey! Frustrated, but the superhero will bounce back!
This All-Star caliber talent King Kong stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this All-Star caliber talent wanted.
Tom Brady and Hulk walk side by side without looking at each other. The silence is deafening. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
90-110 (L)
King Kong, this versatile guy, sets the tone immediately! An off-the-charts basketball IQ from the jump!
King Kong, this do-it-all player, can't get a free throw to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Tom Brady with a wild pass that sails out! This jersey-selling name giving it away!
King Kong scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Tendency to rush!
Wally West puts it through! The reliability of a superhero with the game!
Halftime! King Kong checks his stats on the board and winces. Rumor has it King Kong talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
King Kong glares at the scoreboard! This headliner not happy with the situation!
This surprise package Wally West misses the mark! A buzzer beater goes begging from mid-range!
Tom Brady identifies the soft spot in the zone! This franchise guy surgical precision!
Tom Brady asks for the ball to slow the pace! This big-name player needs air!
Hulk tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we discovers better, like the hidden truth!'
Tom Brady lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Jesus Christ holds his in. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
83-114 (L)
Hulk lands the first reverse layup! First blood! The scientist strikes first!
Hulk, this all-time great, pulls the trigger at half court but no luck!
Wally West, this smooth operator, telegraphs the pass! Intercepted along the baseline!
King Kong, this solid build, lets the shooter get free in transition! Costly lapse!
Wally West, this solid build, pounds the scorer's table! Hot head on full display!
End of the first act. Wally West is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Exclusive: Wally West was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
King Kong, this established star, comes up empty! A step-back three off target from way beyond the arc!
Tom Brady is gassed! This bonafide star bent over at half court! Occasional mental lapses catching up!
Sloppy handling by Jesus Christ! Competing the game is done with more finesse!
King Kong storms to the bench! This elite player is visibly upset!
Hulk shakes hands through the pain! A scientist who respects their lab notebook and the game!
Tom Brady mutters while walking out. King Kong watches from the corner of his eye, worried. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
93-108 (L)
Hulk, this solid build, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
Jesus Christ heaves and misses! Should have heaved the game instead!
Wally West trips up in the center circle! A superhero never trips at work... Right?
Wally West gets burned on the switch! Hotter than a superhero's worst day on the job!
Wally West scores off the inbound! That's the preparation of a superhero right there!
The locker room. Hulk sprawls out full-length on the bench. Anecdote of the day: Hulk forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Hulk buries their face! Hidden from view, the scientist can't watch!
Jesus Christ misfires from the left corner! Even this generational talent has off nights!
Jesus Christ, this living legend, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Ridiculous creativity!
King Kong, this tweener, with tired legs from the left corner! Occasional mental lapses slowing this headliner down!
Despite the loss, Jesus Christ held their own with the game! The messiah fought!
Tom Brady pulls his cap down over his eyes. Jesus Christ doesn't have a cap, and it shows. I spent the evening explaining basketball rules to my new intern. He still thinks you can walk with the ball. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
85-108 (L)
Wally West stretches center court! Loosening up, the superhero is getting ready!
This big-name player King Kong puts up a buzzer beater but it won't fall! Off night!
Tom Brady throws it into the stands! What was that from this bonafide star!
King Kong gets posted up and scored on! This world-class player overpowered!
What a play by Tom Brady! A free throw under the basket! This established star is cooking!
The players file out. Tom Brady exchanges a tense look with the coach. The staff told me Tom Brady sings in the shower. Badly. Very badly. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Jesus Christ, this first-ballot legend, refuses to high-five! Lack of consistency hurting the chemistry!
Wally West misses from the corner! Back to the basket is no place for their bare hands!
This certified bucket King Kong calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
King Kong, this solid build, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
This big-name player King Kong shakes hands and moves on. In the end, tendency to force bad shots proved costly.
Hulk refuses Boston Ring-Chasers's handshake. Wally West offers a limp one with just his fingertips. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
82-127 (L)
Tom Brady, this versatile guy, is introduced and the arena explodes! This All-Star caliber talent is in the building!
Jesus Christ launches a scoop layup and... Airball! Sometimes predictable game at its peak!
Tom Brady charges right into the defender! Turnover! Hot head when controlling pace!
Wally West beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the game slipping from a superhero!
Hulk gets a technical for complaining! Tendency to rush on full display!
Halftime. Wally West wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Did you know Wally West plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
That one wasn't even close, Jesus Christ! Stick to competing the game!
King Kong is cramping up! This bonafide star trying to shake it off! Hot head!
Wally West attacks into a trap! Limited stamina when reading the defense!
Tom Brady drops the head after another miss! Lack of consistency sapping the confidence!
Hulk, this smooth operator, hangs the head. Tough loss despite an unmatched feel for the game effort.
Wally West scratches the back of his neck nervously. Hulk has the look of someone who has seen things. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
84-127 (L)
King Kong, this established star, embraces the cathedral silence! Game on!
King Kong misses the open look! This certified bucket can't believe it! Occasional mental lapses!
Tom Brady, this do-it-all player, commits the travel! Tendency to rush in the footwork!
Jesus Christ gives up the easy bucket! Easier than competing the game!
This multi-time All-Star King Kong can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
End of the first act. Jesus Christ is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Anecdote: Jesus Christ threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Wally West bricks it! Not the same accuracy as competing the game!
This All-Star caliber talent Tom Brady stumbles! The fatigue is real after the 48 regulation minutes!
This undisputed superstar Jesus Christ commits the offensive foul! Turnover back to the basket!
Hulk drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a scientist's spirit has limits!
Hulk tips the cap to the winners! The scientist's grace with the hidden truth!
Wally West sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Jesus Christ puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
My Team finishes #16 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Wally West.
Season Journal
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby!
Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Wally West on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. The man is massive, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them.
The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless.
Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Hulk, his brother-in-law and a scientist by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying their lab notebook and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Hulk can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the hidden truth to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench.
Budget-wise, we're in the "checked the couch cushions to fund the last contract" category. Seriously, there are high school programs with better catering. The owner watches every dollar like it's his last, and the GM negotiates trades with the anxiety of a guy haggling at a flea market. But paradoxically, that might be their strength: when you've got nothing to lose, you play free. And sometimes, freedom works miracles on the hardwood.
My Team finishes #16 (2W-13L). Better luck next season! MVP: Wally West.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
.jpg?width=300&width=400)
