team new1 — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 5 | Denver Horse-Track | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 8 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Miami Heart-Attack | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | team new1 | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Pre-season
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... Team new1! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's LeBron James. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 206 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: jaja. Profession? Amateur. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with bare hands, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into the game could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn. Now we're talking real money. They're above the cap but being careful not to cross into luxury tax territory. They're using their trade exceptions and mid-level to plug the gaps. This is a playoff-caliber team: they've got the goods, a balanced roster, but they're always one big move short of landing a true superstar.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
76-120 (L)
This first-ballot legend LeBron James opens the scoring! A tear drop! Early advantage!
A double-clutch layup from jaja goes in and out! Heartbreaking driving to the hoop!
LeBron James, this tree of a man, steps out of bounds with the orange! Mental lapse!
LeBron James falls asleep on the weak side! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
Jaja picks up the second technical! This unknown gem ejected! Occasional mental lapses!
Halftime! Mark Kerr checks his stats on the board and winces. Rumor has it Mark Kerr talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Kakaa posts up the pill right into the defender's hands! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Mark Kerr misses from fatigue! This total unknown can't get the elevation from the right corner!
This total unknown jaja commits the offensive foul! Turnover from the right corner!
Jaja, this smooth operator, throws the hands up! Exasperated off the pick and roll!
Nikola Jokić, this bonafide star, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Jaja kicks his towel across the floor. LeBron James has already left for the locker room, alone. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
96-113 (L)
Nikola Jokić posts up into position! This reliable star not wasting any time!
Mark Kerr, this tweener, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this who-is-this-guy player!
Jaja charges right into the defender! Turnover! Sometimes predictable game when controlling pace!
This world-class player Nikola Jokić can't recover! Scored on driving to the hoop! Lack of consistency!
Mark Kerr with a buzzer-beater off the screen! Read that play like a textbook!
Off to the locker room. Nikola Jokić has already drained two water bottles. Juicy anecdote: Nikola Jokić was caught dancing the Macarena in the showers. Alone. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
This established star Nikola Jokić shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
A tear drop from jaja sails wide! This player nobody saw coming needs to regroup!
Mark Kerr fades away with purpose every possession! This potential breakout star chess master!
Kakaa grabs the shorts! This raw talent is running on fumes!
This player nobody saw coming jaja congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this player nobody saw coming.
Nikola Jokić watches the crowd file out in silence. Mark Kerr prefers not to look. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. See you at the next game. In the meantime: 'MasterClass: How to Fold a Fitted Sheet.' Gripping television.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
98-113 (L)
Mark Kerr steps onto the court! From slamming the mat canvas to this, game time!
Kakaa goes to work but the shot rims out! Sometimes predictable game rears its ugly head!
Jaja with the errant pass! This raw talent needs to settle down!
Mark Kerr gets crossed over! This who-is-this-guy player left frozen facing the rim!
An off-balance shot from jaja from downtown! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Halftime whistle! Mark Kerr grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Physio's confession: Mark Kerr purrs when you massage his calves. Like a cat. A big cat. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Mark Kerr, this combo guard, pounds the scorer's table! Heavy feet on full display!
Nikola Jokić shoots the Spalding but it won't fall! Cold streak continues!
LeBron James reads the defense perfectly! Iron discipline and a sky-high basketball IQ!
This reliable star Nikola Jokić signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Hot head!
This newcomer kakaa leaves the den with head held high. Fought to the end.
Mark Kerr hurls his mouthguard into the trash. Nikola Jokić keeps his in, chewing on the frustration. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
78-117 (L)
Nikola Jokić takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
LeBron James air-mails a finger roll from the left corner! Way off for this basketball god!
This newcomer Mark Kerr with turnover number buckets! Ego the size of Texas is piling up!
LeBron James, this titan, can't keep up with the speed! Limited stamina exposed!
Nikola Jokić launches and kicks the stanchion! This max-contract guy losing composure!
Off to the locker room. Jaja has already drained two water bottles. Confession: jaja tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Kakaa misfires in the paint! Even this total unknown has off nights!
Mark Kerr plays through exhaustion! The endurance of slamming the mat canvas daily!
LeBron James crosses over into a trap! Tendency to force bad shots when reading the defense!
This guy nobody was talking about kakaa hangs the head after the miss! Deflated under the basket!
This household name LeBron James stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this household name wanted.
Nikola Jokić refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Jaja watches it and immediately regrets it. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
95-110 (L)
LeBron James looks dialed in from the start! Unreal swagger preparation showing!
Jaja gets a clean look but lack of consistency costs the bucket!
Nikola Jokić coughs up the rock! Hot head strikes again at the buzzer!
Kakaa scrambles but can't close out! Open look given up! Lack of consistency!
Mark Kerr converts the and-one! Tough as slamming the mat canvas all day!
Off to the locker room. Kakaa has already drained two water bottles. Did you know kakaa entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
LeBron James storms to the bench! This absolute legend is visibly upset!
Jaja, this do-it-all player, loses the handle and the opportunity! Tendency to rush!
Jaja, this do-it-all player, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! A killer instinct!
Mark Kerr finds a second wind! The wrestler engine roars back to life!
Nikola Jokić posts up past the media. This top-tier talent not in the mood to talk.
Jaja is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. LeBron James waits at the tunnel entrance. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's a wrap! And now, 'The Price Is Right: Why Nobody Answers the Phone Anymore.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
85-113 (L)
This guy nobody was talking about jaja in the starting lineup! Let's see what this guy nobody was talking about brings!
Nikola Jokić, this absolute unit, gets the look but can't convert on the low block!
LeBron James, this 7-footer, gets stripped at the top of the key! Ego the size of Texas exposed!
This newcomer jaja caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Jaja, this do-it-all player, takes over off the pick and roll. A catch-and-shoot triple! That's elite!
The players leave the court. Kakaa clings to the tunnel railing. Anecdote: kakaa fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. We pick up right where we left off. Time to play.
Nikola Jokić drops the head after another miss! Shaky emotions under pressure sapping the confidence!
This guy with rings on every finger LeBron James shanks a fadeaway jumper in transition! That's uncharacteristic!
Nikola Jokić slows the pace when the team needs it! This established star tempo control!
LeBron James is running on pure willpower! This all-time great refusing to quit!
LeBron James had the chances but couldn't convert. This certified GOAT candidate left wanting.
Mark Kerr's gaze is cold, distant. Kakaa's gaze is hot, angry. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
89-119 (L)
This player nobody saw coming jaja means business! Fast start from way beyond the arc!
Nikola Jokić rushes a devastating dunk along the baseline! Limited stamina creeping in!
Nikola Jokić, this titan, gets called for the carry! Ego the size of Texas in ball-handling!
Nikola Jokić gambles for the steal and pays the price! Tendency to force bad shots!
LeBron James with another pull-up jumper! You can't stop this man!
Coach calls everyone back. Nikola Jokić drags his feet toward the tunnel. Confession: Nikola Jokić believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
This guy nobody was talking about Mark Kerr can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Nikola Jokić, this big fella, bobbles the Wilson and the chance evaporates from the left corner!
Jaja blows past the ball out of the trap! An off-the-charts basketball IQ under pressure!
Mark Kerr, this all-around player, laboring up and down! Tendency to rush draining the energy!
LeBron James, this living legend, takes the loss hard. Shaky emotions under pressure at the wrong moments.
Kakaa watches the crowd file out in silence. Jaja prefers not to look. Behind the scenes, I learned jaja was also a volunteer firefighter in a past life. You can feel it in the game. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
87-118 (L)
Game time! LeBron James and this once-in-a-lifetime player ready to put on a show at the gym!
LeBron James, this all-time great, with a contested bank shot that misses at half court!
LeBron James with the backcourt violation! This potential GOAT under too much pressure!
Nikola Jokić, this giant, gets dunked on off the pick and roll! Poster material!
Jaja rises up the towel! This dude out of nowhere showing lack of consistency!
Time to breathe. Kakaa has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Did you know? Kakaa once signed an autograph for a referee. During the game. Mid free-throw. We're back! The players look fired up.
Kakaa, this guy nobody was talking about, comes up empty! A half-court heave off target under the basket!
Nikola Jokić is cramping up! This certified bucket trying to shake it off! Injury-prone body!
LeBron James spins carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
LeBron James slams the ball in frustration! Tendency to rush on full display!
Kakaa walks off in silence. This diamond in the rough gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Jaja unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Mark Kerr runs a hand down his face. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Until next time! Up next: 'Kitchen Nightmares: Corporate Cafeteria.' This is gonna be good.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
84-127 (L)
Jaja fires away onto the floor! The crowd roars for this dude out of nowhere!
Brick! Jaja misfires in the paint! Heavy feet at the worst time!
This headliner Nikola Jokić with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
Nikola Jokić loses the screen battle! Lack of consistency around the picks!
This surprise package jaja gets into it with the opponent! Tempers flaring!
Halftime! Kakaa is limping slightly heading off the court. Word is kakaa sleeps with his basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Jaja fires a bank shot driving to the hoop but can't connect! Injury-prone body showing!
Mark Kerr mops their face! Sweating more than when slamming the mat canvas!
Nikola Jokić dunks into a dead end facing the rim! Turnover! Lack of consistency!
This raw talent kakaa slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
Jaja, this do-it-all player, hangs the head. Tough loss despite natural-born leadership effort.
LeBron James taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Kakaa walks through the door without pushing it. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
89-134 (L)
The game begins and kakaa is ready! You can see insane court vision written all over his face!
Jaja clanks another one off the rim! This total unknown needs to find rhythm!
Nikola Jokić loses the pill in traffic! This All-Star caliber talent can't afford that!
Jaja gets burned on the drive! Sometimes predictable game in lateral movement!
Jaja, this potential breakout star, yells at the coaching staff! Ego the size of Texas causing friction!
Halftime. LeBron James throws his towel on the floor walking in. Fun fact: LeBron James tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
This household name LeBron James whiffs on a pull-up jumper! The crowd groans!
This multi-time All-Star Nikola Jokić can't close out! The legs are shot at the top of the key!
This potential breakout star Mark Kerr commits the 5-second violation! Clock management heavy feet!
This potential breakout star Mark Kerr stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
Jaja sits alone on the bench. This player nobody saw coming processing the defeat.
Nikola Jokić's eyes are glassy. Mark Kerr mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
77-122 (L)
LeBron James, this oversized freak, is introduced and the arena explodes! This living legend is in the building!
LeBron James with the off-balance buzzer-beater! This living legend couldn't set the feet!
Mark Kerr, this tweener, gets the ball poked away! Occasional mental lapses when protecting the rock!
Nikola Jokić gives up the back door! Sometimes predictable game when overplaying!
This unknown gem kakaa fouls hard out of frustration! Occasional mental lapses showing!
First half is done. Jaja is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Small detail: jaja whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Jaja crosses over the basketball awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this hungry young player!
Kakaa shoots but can't sustain the effort! Heavy feet emptying the tank!
Jaja, this all-around player, fumbles the entry pass driving to the hoop!
LeBron James gets a technical for complaining! Tendency to force bad shots on full display!
This basketball god LeBron James shakes hands and moves on. In the end, ego the size of Texas proved costly.
Nikola Jokić sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Mark Kerr winces. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
81-126 (L)
This dark horse Mark Kerr comes out firing! An off-balance shot in the first minute!
Mark Kerr misfires in the paint! The rosin bag calibration needed!
Mark Kerr dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the wrestler's finest moment!
Kakaa gets caught flat-footed! This dark horse beaten to the spot!
Nikola Jokić, this bonafide star, with the frustrated foul! Occasional mental lapses in tough moments!
Both teams head to the locker room. Jaja wipes his forehead with his jersey. Intel: jaja refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
This total unknown kakaa muscles up a buzzer beater but can't get it to fall!
Mark Kerr can't get lift! Legs heavy as the rosin bag after the allotted time!
Mark Kerr with the backcourt violation! A wrestler going backwards with the mat canvas!
LeBron James, this mammoth, sits down hard on the bench! Tendency to force bad shots written all over his face!
This headliner Nikola Jokić tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Jaja kicks his towel across the floor. LeBron James has already left for the locker room, alone. During the game, I counted how many times I said 'incredible.' Seventeen. A personal record. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
81-126 (L)
Mark Kerr announces themselves! The wrestler has arrived and the building knows it!
LeBron James, this absolute unit, can't finish from mid-range! That one stings!
Nikola Jokić throws it away! Tendency to rush under pressure at the buzzer!
This diamond in the rough jaja picks up the cheap foul! Limited stamina showing!
Kakaa, this all-around player, waves off the play call! Limited stamina hurting the team!
Time to breathe. Mark Kerr has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Did you know? Mark Kerr launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
LeBron James launches a deep three and... Airball! Sometimes predictable game at its peak!
This raw talent jaja calls for a sub! Can't go anymore! Lack of consistency taking its toll!
Nikola Jokić with the lazy pass! Shaky emotions under pressure leading to easy points!
Kakaa, this do-it-all player, shows negative body language! Defense that's basically a suggestion creeping in!
Mark Kerr takes the loss hard! Hard as the mat canvas on a bad wrestler day!
Mark Kerr sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Jaja puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. Confession: I nearly fell asleep during the second quarter. The third woke me right up. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
74-118 (L)
Jaja, this newcomer, draws first blood! A bucket to start!
Kakaa, this player nobody saw coming, pulls the trigger driving to the hoop but no luck!
Mark Kerr throws it away! A pass worse than a wrestler tossing the mat canvas!
LeBron James turns the head and loses the man! This global icon napping defensively!
LeBron James glares at the scoreboard! This all-time great not happy with the situation!
Halftime. LeBron James's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Rumor has it LeBron James talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Jaja, this versatile guy, can't get a free throw to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
LeBron James bends over during the dead ball! This hall-of-fame lock gathering what's left!
LeBron James shoots the ball right to the defense! Costly mistake by this undisputed superstar!
Nikola Jokić, this top-tier talent, refuses to high-five! Occasional mental lapses hurting the chemistry!
Nikola Jokić, this colossus, trudges off the gym. Lessons to take from this one.
Mark Kerr lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Kakaa decides not to comment. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'American Idol: Accountant Edition.' Singing, dancing, and spreadsheets.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
77-121 (L)
The temple of basketball welcomes Mark Kerr! The wrestler with the mat canvas has arrived!
Jaja forces a buzzer-beater back to the basket! This guy nobody was talking about trying too hard!
This absolute legend LeBron James forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Mark Kerr can't contain the drive! Slamming the mat canvas is more containable!
Kakaa mutters to himself walking back! This newcomer fighting inner demons!
The players head to the locker room. Kakaa is sweating like a racehorse. Rumor has it kakaa has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Nikola Jokić goes to work the Spalding into nothing! Sometimes predictable game on full display tonight!
Mark Kerr rises up but the legs won't cooperate! Lack of consistency catching up!
Mark Kerr throws it into the stands! What was that from this newcomer!
This bonafide star Nikola Jokić throws an elbow in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Nikola Jokić reflects on what could have been. Tendency to rush the difference tonight.
Mark Kerr sighs so loudly that the reporters hear it. Nikola Jokić winces. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
team new1 finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
Season Journal
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... Team new1!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's LeBron James. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 206 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket.
Hold on tight because the next name is going to make you spit out your beer: jaja. Profession? Amateur. Yeah. The coach saw him on TV, called his agent (who didn't exist), and offered him a ten-day contract "to see." The guy showed up with bare hands, a ham sandwich, and bulletproof enthusiasm. At his first practice, he attempted a dunk and ended up hanging from the net like a cat stuck in a tree. The fire department came. Twice. But he's got heart, the man, and apparently the precision he puts into the game could translate to mid-range shooting. We believe. Well, the coach believes. The rest of us broke out the popcorn.
Now we're talking real money. They're above the cap but being careful not to cross into luxury tax territory. They're using their trade exceptions and mid-level to plug the gaps. This is a playoff-caliber team: they've got the goods, a balanced roster, but they're always one big move short of landing a true superstar.
team new1 finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: LeBron James.
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