fahhh — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | New York Over-Timers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | fahhh | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 2 | 13 | 4 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... Fahhh! Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Wilt Chamberlain on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 216 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them. The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins. Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Ted Bundy, his brother-in-law and a serial killer by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying their chilling method and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Ted Bundy can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the unsuspecting prey to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench. Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
79-123 (L)
LeBron James, this big fella, sets the tone immediately! Eyes in the back of the head from the jump!
This guy everybody knows Wilt Chamberlain misses the mark! A buzzer-beater goes begging facing the rim!
Ted Bundy trips up in the three-point line! A serial killer never trips at work... Right?
Virat Kohli can't contain the drive! Dispatching the leather ball is more containable!
Kobe Bryant, this towering presence, throws the hands up! Exasperated from the left corner!
Players head to the locker room. Kobe Bryant has tape on three fingers. Small detail: Kobe Bryant whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Wilt Chamberlain, this guy everybody knows, pulls the trigger from the left corner but no luck!
LeBron James grabs the shorts! This once-in-a-lifetime player is running on fumes!
Wilt Chamberlain crosses over the orange right to the defense! Costly mistake by this multi-time All-Star!
Ted Bundy glares at the scoreboard! This absolute legend not happy with the situation!
Ted Bundy consoles teammates! The heart of a serial killer in that moment!
Virat Kohli clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Wilt Chamberlain fidgets with his wristband nervously. On my end, I ate peanuts through the entire third quarter. Salt is my drug of choice. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
89-103 (L)
LeBron James, this hall-of-fame lock, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Wilt Chamberlain, this guy everybody knows, comes up empty! An alley-oop off target back to the basket!
This franchise cornerstone Kobe Bryant commits the offensive foul! Turnover from way beyond the arc!
Ted Bundy loses their assignment! Like losing their chilling method in the workshop!
A half-court heave! Kobe Bryant cannot be stopped tonight! This global icon is locked in!
Both teams head to the locker room. Kobe Bryant wipes his forehead with his jersey. Anecdote: Kobe Bryant once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Wilt Chamberlain drops the head after another miss! Lack of consistency sapping the confidence!
A free throw by Virat Kohli in the paint is way off! Tough night for this All-Star caliber talent!
Virat Kohli makes the right read! Saw it coming a mile away, true cricketer!
Ted Bundy misses from fatigue! Tired arms from stalking the unsuspecting prey all week!
Kobe Bryant walks off in silence. This potential GOAT gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Ted Bundy whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Kobe Bryant nods without conviction. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Planet Earth: Exploring the World from My Couch.' Immersive documentary.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
111-87 (W)
Wilt Chamberlain penetrates onto the floor! The crowd roars for this big-name player!
A tear drop from downtown by LeBron James! This beanpole with the long range!
Ted Bundy with a clutch steal! The reflexes of a serial killer catching the unsuspecting prey!
This franchise guy Wilt Chamberlain zips the pass through! Another dime from this absolute unit!
LeBron James, this long boy, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Pure God-given talent!
Off to the locker room. Ted Bundy has already drained two water bottles. Anecdote: Ted Bundy tried to impress the Orlando Magic-Beans players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Break's over, the players take their positions.
Kobe Bryant with another bank shot! You can't stop this man!
Ted Bundy shoots in front of the home faithful! An incredible energy! Beautiful!
Wilt Chamberlain finds the open teammate! This certified bucket making everyone better!
Wilt Chamberlain has found another gear! This All-Star caliber talent shifting into overdrive!
Ted Bundy hangs up the sneakers! Calling it a night, the serial killer is done!
LeBron James and Kobe Bryant do celebratory push-ups. Ted Bundy counts out loud. Definitely cheating. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
122-94 (W)
Wilt Chamberlain rises up with energy from the opening whistle! This multi-time All-Star locked in!
This franchise cornerstone Ted Bundy with a cold-blooded sky hook! No conscience!
LeBron James slides to the passing lane and steals it! Silky smooth technique!
LeBron James reads the defense like a book! Assist at the buzzer! A killer instinct!
Ted Bundy calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's serial killer mentality!
That's a wrap for now. Kobe Bryant dives into the tunnel. Anecdote: Kobe Bryant once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Virat Kohli hits from downtown! Precision worthy of the willow bat at the buzzer!
The PA announcer can't pronounce Virat Kohli's the willow bat! Comedy at the gym!
Virat Kohli draws the attention! Magnetic presence, the cricketer aura is undeniable!
This franchise guy Wilt Chamberlain proves the critics wrong! An All-Star Game worthy play vindication!
Wilt Chamberlain, this absolute unit, celebrates the win! A hug with the coach! What a game!
Ted Bundy and LeBron James run circles around Kobe Bryant who doesn't move. Zen. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. See you soon. And now: '911: My Cat Climbed on Top of the Wardrobe.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
106-116 (L)
Virat Kohli wins the opening tip! Tipping off with cricketer energy!
Ted Bundy forces a bank shot in the paint! This first-ballot legend trying too hard!
Kobe Bryant with the lazy pass! Occasional mental lapses leading to easy points!
This certified bucket Virat Kohli fouls reaching in! Defense that's basically a suggestion on defense!
Wilt Chamberlain with an incredible two-handed slam off the pick and roll! Standing ovation!
Break! Kobe Bryant heads straight to the bathroom moment he hits the locker room. Exclusive: Kobe Bryant was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
LeBron James mouths off and picks up a T! Sometimes predictable game taking over!
Ted Bundy with the contested hook shot along the baseline! No good! Bad selection!
LeBron James reads the defense perfectly! Freakish explosiveness and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Wilt Chamberlain is gassed! This top-tier talent bent over at half court! Ego the size of Texas catching up!
LeBron James, this global icon, takes the loss hard. Shaky emotions under pressure at the wrong moments.
Virat Kohli pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Wilt Chamberlain takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That's all for tonight! Coming up: 'CSI: Underground Parking Garage.' Riveting stuff.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
107-94 (W)
Wilt Chamberlain, this All-Star caliber talent, embraces the hostile crowd! Game on!
Ted Bundy cuts and scores! Sharp as their chilling method, this serial killer!
LeBron James, this basketball god, shuts down the play under the basket! Lockdown defender!
This first-ballot legend Kobe Bryant with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Wilt Chamberlain fires away the ball out of the trap! An off-the-charts basketball IQ under pressure!
Halftime. Ted Bundy wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. Did you know Ted Bundy knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Los Angeles Nursing-Home's colors. By accident, obviously. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.
Virat Kohli, this little firecracker, takes over from mid-range. A pull-up jumper! That's elite!
A hostile crowd as Kobe Bryant, this long boy, is introduced! Goosebumps!
This potential GOAT Ted Bundy tips it to the teammate! A gym-rat work ethic on full display!
Virat Kohli, this scrappy guard, embodies the spirit of competition! What a show!
Final buzzer! Wilt Chamberlain is the hero! This reliable star with a game for the ages!
Kobe Bryant does the robot at center court while Wilt Chamberlain pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
103-119 (L)
The gym welcomes Ted Bundy! The serial killer with the unsuspecting prey has arrived!
Virat Kohli, this franchise guy, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
LeBron James rises up into a trap! Sometimes predictable game when reading the defense!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
LeBron James, this first-ballot legend, sinks a bucket with surgical precision along the baseline!
The players disappear. Ted Bundy has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Did you know Ted Bundy once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Virat Kohli slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a cricketer hits the workbench!
Brick! Virat Kohli misfires in transition! Lack of consistency at the worst time!
Kobe Bryant, this all-time great, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a devastating dunk!
Ted Bundy, this household name, is dragging! The allotted time minutes taking their toll!
Kobe Bryant, this first-ballot legend, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.
Virat Kohli refuses Toronto Border-Patrol's handshake. LeBron James offers a limp one with just his fingertips. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
108-107 (W)
Kobe Bryant, this mountain of a man, takes the court! The standing ovation is electric!
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, covers ground to get the double team! Wow!
Wilt Chamberlain rushes a scoop layup in transition! Limited stamina creeping in!
Ted Bundy attacks at the top of the key and finishes with a thunderous slam! Too good!
Kobe Bryant, this oversized freak, sets a brick-wall screen! Silky smooth technique on full display!
The locker room. Wilt Chamberlain sprawls out full-length on the bench. Locker room anecdote: Wilt Chamberlain talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Kobe Bryant, this long boy, scores the go-ahead! A half-court heave! Heart of a champion!
Virat Kohli drops into help defense! Always there when you need a cricketer!
A sold-out gym on fire spikes every time Ted Bundy touches the Wilson! The serial killer effect!
Virat Kohli with the clutch steal! Quick hands from this cricketer!
This household name Kobe Bryant thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
Ted Bundy and LeBron James chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. I learned that Ted Bundy's father was a cricketer. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
98-107 (L)
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kobe Bryant comes out aggressive! Opens with a finger roll back to the basket!
Wilt Chamberlain attacks and fires but misses everything! Lack of consistency tonight!
Ted Bundy with the backcourt violation! This undisputed superstar under too much pressure!
Kobe Bryant reacts too late to rotate! Limited stamina on the help side!
LeBron James, this giant, carves up the defense for a hook shot! Beautiful!
Halftime whistle. Kobe Bryant has dried blood on his elbow but plays tough. Confession: Kobe Bryant tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Second half! The crowd is on its feet, and so are the players.
Ted Bundy kicks the air! The frustration of a serial killer who knows they can do better!
Ted Bundy can't find the range! Their chilling method has better accuracy than that!
LeBron James, this long boy, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!
Kobe Bryant, this mammoth, looks exhausted from the left corner! The legs are gone!
Virat Kohli looks at the scoreboard one last time! Numbers don't lie for a cricketer!
Wilt Chamberlain refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Ted Bundy watches it and immediately regrets it. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
85-110 (L)
The game begins and LeBron James is ready! You can see an unmatched feel for the game written all over his face!
Wilt Chamberlain, this oversized freak, loses the handle and the opportunity! Limited stamina!
LeBron James with the errant pass! This franchise cornerstone needs to settle down!
Ted Bundy, this small but mighty player, gets dunked on from downtown! Poster material!
Wilt Chamberlain takes off and converts! A pull-up jumper driving to the hoop! Money!
Intermission. LeBron James dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Rumor has it LeBron James does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Here we go again. The players have changed jerseys.
LeBron James blows past angrily after the turnover! This undisputed superstar spiraling!
Kobe Bryant, this generational talent, sends the Spalding wide! The touch is off tonight!
This generational talent Kobe Bryant recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
LeBron James is running on pure willpower! This franchise cornerstone refusing to quit!
LeBron James, this giant, trudges off the gymnasium. Lessons to take from this one.
Virat Kohli stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. LeBron James comes back to get him. I spent the evening standing up and sitting down every thirty seconds. My Fitbit is congratulating me. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
80-113 (L)
This global icon Kobe Bryant comes out firing! A thunderous slam in the first minute!
Wilt Chamberlain, this guy everybody knows, with the shot-clock heave! No good under the basket!
Kobe Bryant, this 7-footer, fumbles the entry pass in transition!
Ted Bundy gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the unsuspecting prey behind their chilling method!
Kobe Bryant, this franchise cornerstone, with the frustrated foul! Occasional mental lapses in tough moments!
Break! Wilt Chamberlain takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Anecdote: Wilt Chamberlain lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The players step onto the hardwood once more. The second half starts now.
This certified GOAT candidate Kobe Bryant with a rare miss driving to the hoop! Even the best stumble!
Virat Kohli jogs instead of sprints! Conserving energy for dispatching the leather ball tomorrow!
Kobe Bryant, this long boy, gets called for the carry! Occasional mental lapses in ball-handling!
This guy with rings on every finger Kobe Bryant hangs the head after the miss! Deflated from the right corner!
Wilt Chamberlain sits alone on the bench. This jersey-selling name processing the defeat.
LeBron James hurls his water bottle at the wall. Kobe Bryant flinches but doesn't react. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
96-105 (L)
LeBron James, this tree of a man, announced to huge cheers! A Finals-like atmosphere!
Virat Kohli rattles it out! Shaking the floor with the willow bat intensity!
This hall-of-fame lock LeBron James forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Virat Kohli falls asleep on the weak side! Tendency to force bad shots exposed!
A two-handed slam from Wilt Chamberlain! That's next-level basketball IQ at the highest level!
Both teams head in. Kobe Bryant has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Exclusive info: Kobe Bryant is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Kobe Bryant, this once-in-a-lifetime player, yells at the coaching staff! Limited stamina causing friction!
LeBron James with a wild attempt! This global icon not finding the range tonight!
Ted Bundy adjusts the tempo! Controlling the rhythm like a veteran serial killer!
Kobe Bryant, this first-ballot legend, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!
Virat Kohli wipes a tear! A cricketer who poured everything into the effort!
Virat Kohli closes his eyes walking out. Kobe Bryant keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. On my end, I ate a hot dog so disgusting I'd classify it as a traumatic experience. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
111-101 (W)
LeBron James takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Virat Kohli pulls off a tear drop out of nowhere! Was that basketball or cricketer magic? Unbelievable!
Kobe Bryant, this big fella, blankets the shooter off the pick and roll! No daylight!
Kobe Bryant lets fly the Spalding with precision! Assist back to the basket! Floor general!
Virat Kohli, this reliable star, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Freakish explosiveness!
Both teams head to the locker room. LeBron James wipes his forehead with his jersey. Rumor has it LeBron James has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
This generational talent Kobe Bryant converts from downtown! A double-clutch layup right on cue!
An electric crowd is electric when Virat Kohli has the Spalding! A cricketer charging the room!
Ted Bundy lifts the bench's energy! Lifting spirits the way only a serial killer can!
The announcers share Ted Bundy's serial killer story,stalking the unsuspecting prey since age 16!
That's the game! Kobe Bryant finishes with a monster performance! This hall-of-fame lock victorious!
Virat Kohli and Ted Bundy share a 30-second hug. Kobe Bryant wants in. Gets pushed away. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
99-109 (L)
Game time! Wilt Chamberlain and this jersey-selling name ready to put on a show at the field house!
This absolute legend LeBron James misfires again! Injury-prone body could cost the team!
Kobe Bryant, this tower, gets the ball poked away! Tendency to force bad shots when protecting the rock!
Kobe Bryant gets crossed over! This household name left frozen back to the basket!
Virat Kohli with the step-back devastating dunk! Creating space like a cricketer with the willow bat!
Both teams head in. Ted Bundy has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. They say Ted Bundy has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Kobe Bryant slams the leather in frustration! Ego the size of Texas on full display!
Wilt Chamberlain steps back the orange right into the defender's hands! Ego the size of Texas!
Ted Bundy communicates the switch! Clear as a serial killer's instructions!
Virat Kohli bends over, hands on knees! Exhausted like a cricketer after the willow bat overtime!
Kobe Bryant had the chances but couldn't convert. This potential GOAT left wanting.
Wilt Chamberlain collapses into the first available chair. Ted Bundy stays standing, eyes glazed over. Did you know that Ted Bundy practices cricketer on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
79-123 (L)
This reliable star Virat Kohli gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Wilt Chamberlain, this colossus, can't finish in the paint! That one stings!
Virat Kohli dribbles it off their foot! The willow bat would never betray a cricketer like that!
Kobe Bryant, this oversized freak, can't keep up with the speed! Injury-prone body exposed!
This living legend LeBron James throws an elbow in frustration! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Halftime. Ted Bundy throws his towel on the floor walking in. Rumor has it Ted Bundy talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
LeBron James misfires from back to the basket! This once-in-a-lifetime player searching for answers!
Ted Bundy digs deep! Deep as a serial killer digs into the unsuspecting prey!
Stolen from Virat Kohli! A cricketer who let it slip through their fingers!
This world-class player Virat Kohli fouls hard out of frustration! Hot head showing!
Kobe Bryant, this towering presence, hangs the head. Tough loss despite freakish explosiveness effort.
Virat Kohli shakes Kobe Bryant's hand in silence. Not a word. Just a look that says it all. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. That's a wrap! Coming up: 'What Would You Do: People Who Say Hello in the Elevator.' Exposing the truth.
fahhh ends the season #10 with a 5W-10L record. Season MVP: Wilt Chamberlain.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... Fahhh!
Yeah sure, it's a team sport, we all agree on that. But when you've got Wilt Chamberlain on your roster, the word "team" basically means him plus four guys who pass him the ball. Standing at 216 cm, a first step more explosive than a rocket launch, and a fadeaway so silky that even the defenders applaud as they watch him score. Scouts had this dude flagged at 14. By 16, he was beating pros. Today? He's embarrassing them.
The scary thing is that the more pressure rises, the more he rises with it. Fourth quarter, down by three, the opposing coach screaming, the crowd roaring... And he just shrugs, takes the ball, and nails a step-back three over three defenders draped all over him like it's a Tuesday morning shootaround drill. This is the kind of player you don't just build a team around, you build an era around him. And tonight, that era begins.
Okay, this is either pure genius or a complete mental breakdown, I honestly can't tell yet. The wild card, the stroke of brilliance or insanity depending on how many beers you've had, is that the coach decided to pull a move never before seen in league history: he signed Ted Bundy, his brother-in-law and a serial killer by trade, on a ten-day contract. The guy showed up to the bench wearing a bucket hat, carrying their chilling method and a cooler, surrounded by 7-foot giants who weigh three times as much. Apparently the coach's theory is that if Ted Bundy can place a basketball with the same precision he uses for the unsuspecting prey to "bullseye" the opposing center's head, we've got the play of the century. So far, the guy's biggest achievement is attempting a three-pointer with an underhand toss and asking the ref where the jack ball was. It's absolute madness, the fans are split between hysterical laughter and total despair, but one thing's for sure: no one's ever seen a timeout with such a strong smell of beef jerky and cheap beer on the bench.
Budget: unlimited. Well technically there's a limit, but the owner decided to ignore it. We're in repeater tax territory, where every extra dollar of payroll costs FIVE dollars in penalties. The front office sweats with every new contract, the accountant has quit three times this year, but the owner keeps signing checks. The result? An absolute dream roster, the kind of team you build in NBA 2K when you turn on cheat mode. The downside? Zero flexibility. No first-round Draft picks, no free agent signings, no wiggle room whatsoever. It's all or nothing. And tonight, it's gonna be all.
fahhh ends the season #10 with a 5W-10L record. Season MVP: Wilt Chamberlain.
💬 💬 Comments & Suggestions (0)
💭
No comments yet. Be the first to share your opinion!
Do you like this creation?
Share it with your friends!
%20(cropped2).jpg?width=200&width=400)
