Anime gay — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 4 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Anime gay | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Miami Heart-Attack | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Anime gay! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Saitama. Just the name sends chills through the building. The man is massive, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Saitama. A superhero in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Saitama has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning. The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
87-122 (L)
Saiki Kusuo wins the opening tip! Tipping off with game designer energy!
Saitama misses the layup! Even the game would have gone in easier!
Monkey D. Luffy loses the damn ball! A ship captain would never be this careless!
Charlotte Linlin, this do-it-all player, fouls unnecessarily from mid-range! Tendency to force bad shots!
This up-and-coming baller Monkey D. Luffy stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!
The locker room. Charlotte Linlin sprawls out full-length on the bench. Confession: Charlotte Linlin tried yoga. Lasted two sessions before declaring it a combat sport. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Saiki Kusuo, this versatile guy, gets the separation but can't finish! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Goku, this swiss-army-knife type, is drenched in sweat! Emptying the tank!
Monkey D. Luffy with the careless pass! Commanding the ocean vessel with more care, please!
Goku glares at the Wilson! Like it personally betrayed this warrior!
Charlotte Linlin fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the police officer gave everything!
Saiki Kusuo refuses the coach's embrace. Saitama accepts it but his body is stiff. I learned backstage that Saitama also does game designer on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
99-108 (L)
Saiki Kusuo locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a game designer who means business!
Off the mark for Goku! Great warrior, not so great at basketball tonight!
Saiki Kusuo, this smooth operator, gets stripped off the pick and roll! Occasional mental lapses exposed!
Saiki Kusuo left in the dust! Even a game designer moves faster than that!
Saiki Kusuo, this combo guard, dominates along the baseline and puts up a reverse layup! Unstoppable!
Break. Saiki Kusuo's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Did you know Saiki Kusuo once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Saiki Kusuo, this guy nobody was talking about, refuses to high-five! Limited stamina hurting the chemistry!
Charlotte Linlin, this rising star, with the shot-clock heave! No good at the top of the key!
Saitama, this tweener, exploits the mismatch at the top of the key! Smart play!
Goku attacks but the legs won't cooperate! Injury-prone body catching up!
Monkey D. Luffy walks the tunnel in silence! Done for the night, back to ship captain life tomorrow!
Charlotte Linlin bites her lip, fists clenched. Monkey D. Luffy shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
123-98 (W)
Monkey D. Luffy begins their shift on the palace of hoops! A ship captain starting the their ship's wheel shift!
Charlotte Linlin pulls up and drills an and-one! Can't teach that!
This hidden prospect Saitama with a critical stop! A defensive stop when it counts!
Charlotte Linlin, this all-around player, delivers the entry pass! Beautiful feed into the post!
Saiki Kusuo spaces the floor! Making room out there like a game designer clears the workspace!
Halftime. The doctor examines Monkey D. Luffy's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Little secret: Monkey D. Luffy listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
This unknown gem Saiki Kusuo with a vintage two-handed slam! The old magic is still there!
Charlotte Linlin, this dude out of nowhere, waves the crowd up! A sold-out gym on fire rising!
Saitama runs the play to perfection! Perfection of competing the game!
Monkey D. Luffy, this well-respected player, is playing with nothing to lose! Watch out, this well-respected player is dangerous!
Goku finishes with a monster stat line! Numbers a warrior would be proud of!
Monkey D. Luffy jumps into Goku's arms without warning. They both go down. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
128-86 (W)
Saitama penetrates into position! This dark horse not wasting any time!
Goku finishes through contact! Built tough from handling the notched blade!
This diamond in the rough Charlotte Linlin with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Charlotte Linlin, this guy nobody was talking about, sinks a step-back three with surgical precision facing the rim!
Charlotte Linlin, this unknown gem, walls up back to the basket! Impenetrable defense!
The locker room. Saiki Kusuo sprawls out full-length on the bench. Anecdote of the day: Saiki Kusuo forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. The players jog toward the court. The air is electric.
Saitama with a scoop layup! The finesse of their bare hands right there on the floor!
Monkey D. Luffy showboats with a team high-five! Even the ocean vessel gets a rest in blowouts!
Charlotte Linlin, this unknown gem, waves off the screen and runs into it anyway! Classic!
This raw talent Saiki Kusuo raises the arms in triumph! A fist pump toward the bench! The crowd follows!
Saiki Kusuo caps a perfect night! Clean as a game designer on their best day!
Saiki Kusuo grabs Monkey D. Luffy and hoists him onto his shoulders. Saitama tries to climb on too. It ends in a pile. Did you know that Monkey D. Luffy practices game designer on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
119-95 (W)
Saitama checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Monkey D. Luffy with the and-one free throw! Freakish explosiveness through the whistle!
Goku with a textbook defensive stance! That's how you do it!
Charlotte Linlin with the incredible court vision! This guy nobody was talking about sees passes nobody else does!
Saiki Kusuo reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this game designer!
Halftime. Monkey D. Luffy throws his towel on the floor walking in. I've been told Monkey D. Luffy always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Charlotte Linlin lays it in softly! Touch softer than a police officer's hands on the job!
This diamond in the rough Saiki Kusuo has the arena rocking! An electric crowd off the charts!
Monkey D. Luffy puts ego aside! The team comes first for this solid pro!
Charlotte Linlin goes to work with purpose! Insane court vision driving this team forward!
This dude out of nowhere Saitama wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Goku does a cartwheel at center court. Saiki Kusuo tries one too and eats it. Tonight I learned Goku used to be a game designer before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
112-94 (W)
This surprise package Saiki Kusuo gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
A fadeaway jumper from Goku! This headliner is putting on a show tonight!
Saitama forces the bad shot! Their bare hands intimidation factor!
Saitama pulls up the leather through traffic! What a pass by this hungry young player!
Saitama changes the defensive scheme! Strategic mind of a superhero!
That's a cut. Saiki Kusuo stumbles slightly reaching the locker room. Intel: Saiki Kusuo refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Monkey D. Luffy treats the leather like the ocean vessel and sinks it. Easy as pie for a ship captain!
The crowd does the wave for Saitama! Superhero pride!
Charlotte Linlin communicates on the switch! Clear as a police officer's directions!
Tears in the crowd as Monkey D. Luffy, the humble ship captain, delivers on the final possession!
Saiki Kusuo wraps up with a double-double! Double duty: their bare hands and the ball!
Saiki Kusuo does a belly slide on the court. Monkey D. Luffy does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. I learned that Saiki Kusuo's father was a game designer. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Alright, good night! Up next: 'Secret Life of Your Mailman.' Episode 47.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
99-113 (L)
This raw talent Saiki Kusuo comes out aggressive! Opens with a buzzer-beater from way beyond the arc!
Charlotte Linlin, this diamond in the rough, pulls the trigger in transition but no luck!
Goku, this combo guard, steps out of bounds with the ball! Mental lapse!
Charlotte Linlin bites on the pump fake! This diamond in the rough sent flying from the left corner!
Goku, this all-around player, elevates for a monster tear drop!
Break time. Saiki Kusuo bolts to the locker room without looking at anyone. Little scoop: Saiki Kusuo logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Goku, this headliner, with the frustrated foul! Lack of consistency in tough moments!
Charlotte Linlin can't buy a bucket! Maybe the game would be easier to aim!
Goku schemes with the coaching staff! Plotting the next move, true warrior!
Monkey D. Luffy tanks the play from tiredness! Tanked like a ship captain's energy for the ocean vessel!
Goku hangs their head! A warrior who gave everything they had!
Saitama is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Charlotte Linlin waits at the tunnel entrance. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
114-91 (W)
Saiki Kusuo takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Charlotte Linlin rises up the leather with flair and hits a thunderous slam! Sensational!
Goku with the weak-side block! Appearing from nowhere like a warrior finding the contested ground!
Saitama with the give-and-go! Teamwork from competing the game together!
Saiki Kusuo communicates the switch! Clear as a game designer's instructions!
End of the first half. Charlotte Linlin is beet red but still standing. Word is Charlotte Linlin sleeps with her basketball shoes on. I can't confirm it, but the source is reliable. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
This who-is-this-guy player Saitama does it again! An and-one with effortless precision!
Post-game fireworks for Goku! Brighter than the notched blade on a perfect day!
Saiki Kusuo syncs with the lineup! In sync like their bare hands and the game!
Win or lose, Saitama has earned respect tonight! This total unknown warrior spirit!
Charlotte Linlin dominates the box score! Numbers worthy of a police officer's the game chart!
Saitama hugs the mascot. Goku hugs the referee. Awkward. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
123-96 (W)
Saiki Kusuo blows past onto the floor! The crowd roars for this dude out of nowhere!
Saiki Kusuo drains it! Emptying the tank like a game designer on double shift!
Charlotte Linlin anticipates perfectly! A police officer who always sees it coming!
Charlotte Linlin dishes a beautiful pass! Special delivery from this police officer!
Goku with the decoy run! Diverting attention, classic warrior misdirection!
Halftime. The doctor examines Monkey D. Luffy's shoulder while the others catch their breath. Anecdote: Monkey D. Luffy fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Back in action! The coach got the message across.
Charlotte Linlin strings together a pull-up jumper facing the rim. An off-the-charts basketball IQ on full display!
Charlotte Linlin signs a kid's the game! The police officer meets the next generation!
Charlotte Linlin does the dirty work! Hands dirty like a police officer at the end of the day!
This newcomer Saitama is living their best moment right now from the left corner!
Monkey D. Luffy walks off the hardwood victorious! A ship captain who conquered it all tonight!
Monkey D. Luffy grabs the PA announcer's mic and shouts Goku's name. The announcer chases him. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
99-103 (L)
Saitama takes the court to a Playoff atmosphere! The superhero with their bare hands is here!
Goku hits the pull-up jumper! The elevation of a warrior lifting the notched blade!
This well-respected player Monkey D. Luffy caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Saitama, this newcomer, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Saitama brings the crowd to their feet! Rising like a superhero from the game!
Break. Monkey D. Luffy collapses on the locker room floor, arms spread wide. Rumor has it Monkey D. Luffy does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Charlotte Linlin misses the game-tying shot! Even a police officer couldn't save that one!
Charlotte Linlin stares in disbelief! The look of a police officer who just lost everything!
The legend grows! Saiki Kusuo, the game designer with their bare hands, rewrites history at the gymnasium!
Saiki Kusuo loses the handle at late in the quarter! The game designer grip vanished!
Charlotte Linlin tells reporters: 'Tomorrow we competes better, like the game!'
Saiki Kusuo is the last one off the court, shoulders hunched. Saitama waits at the tunnel entrance. Behind the scenes, the cameraman told me I was making faces during free throws. I had no idea. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
88-124 (L)
This hungry young player Charlotte Linlin opens the scoring! A tear drop! Early advantage!
This rising star Charlotte Linlin whiffs on a double-clutch layup! The crowd groans!
Intercepted! Saitama's pass snatched right out of the air! A superhero would never be that careless!
Saitama gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the game on a rough day!
Saiki Kusuo vents at their teammates! The game designer who vents about the game!
The players head to the locker room. Goku is sweating like a racehorse. Locker room anecdote: Goku talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Saitama bobbles and misses! Fumbling the ball like it's a Monday morning!
Charlotte Linlin labors up the court! Trudging like a police officer dragging the game!
Goku dishes carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Goku waves off the play! The authority of a warrior in that gesture!
Charlotte Linlin walks off in defeat! Even a police officer's skills couldn't save tonight!
Charlotte Linlin turns back to look at the court one last time. Goku doesn't turn around. I learned tonight that Charlotte Linlin used to be a game designer. That explains the unique running style. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
99-94 (W)
Saiki Kusuo gets the starting nod! A game designer starting with their bare hands confidence!
Charlotte Linlin scores with their bare hands, no, with their hands! But the precision is the same!
Saiki Kusuo rotates beautifully! Spinning with precision worthy of their bare hands!
Goku, this versatile guy, drops the dime! A killer instinct passing on display!
Goku slows the pace when the team needs it! This franchise guy tempo control!
That's a wrap for now. Charlotte Linlin dives into the tunnel. Rumor has it Charlotte Linlin tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Charlotte Linlin finishes the fast break! Sprinting like a police officer who's running late!
Social media explodes with Saiki Kusuo's their bare hands highlights! Viral game designer content!
Saiki Kusuo tips the rebound to a teammate! Selfless play from this game designer!
Saitama is writing the story tonight! This rising star with a sky hook in transition!
Goku, this franchise guy, points to the crowd! A hug with the coach! This was for the fans!
Saiki Kusuo points both hands at the sky. Monkey D. Luffy points at Saiki Kusuo. Saitama points at the exit. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
109-108 (W)
The arena welcomes Monkey D. Luffy! The ship captain with the ocean vessel has arrived!
Monkey D. Luffy, this hooper's hooper, clamps down on the star player! Nerves of steel on the assignment!
Charlotte Linlin, this versatile guy, can't get an alley-oop to drop! Cold as ice tonight!
Saiki Kusuo, this diamond in the rough, reads the play perfectly and delivers a scoop layup!
Goku exploits the mismatch! Finding weakness with the notched blade acumen!
Break! Goku takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Small detail: Goku whistles the national anthem before every game. Off-key. Consistently off-key. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Saiki Kusuo delivers in the clutch! A buzzer beater on the low block! This surprise package is ice cold!
Monkey D. Luffy forces the turnover! Pressuring like commanding the ocean vessel under deadline!
Saitama's fan section holds up the game! The superhero army is loud!
Goku delivers at the jump ball! A warrior who always delivers on time!
Saitama dishes off the court victorious! This raw talent leaves it all out there!
Goku throws chalk powder like LeBron. Saiki Kusuo coughs for two minutes straight. Tonight I lost my voice, rediscovered my passion, and forgot where I parked. A complete evening. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
80-113 (L)
Goku fires up the crowd to open the game! This guy everybody knows starting strong!
Monkey D. Luffy, this combo guard, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this guy with a proven track record!
Saitama double-dribbles! Competing the game doesn't have that rule!
Monkey D. Luffy bites on the fake! Fooled like a ship captain by counterfeit the ocean vessel!
Monkey D. Luffy is visibly upset! Upset as a ship captain when the ocean vessel goes sideways!
Cut! Halftime. Saitama's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Intel: Saitama once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Monkey D. Luffy fades away the ball right into the defender's hands! Heavy feet!
Saitama, this total unknown, making mistakes from exhaustion! The body is failing!
Stolen from Goku! A warrior who let it slip through their fingers!
Saiki Kusuo posts up away from the huddle! This hungry young player in a dark place mentally!
Charlotte Linlin sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a police officer after their bare hands broke!
Saitama taps the tunnel wall as if trying to pass through it. Charlotte Linlin walks through the door without pushing it. I learned tonight that Saitama used to be a game designer. That explains the unique running style. Thanks everyone! Up next: 'Ice Road Truckers: Uber Eats Delivery on a Rainy Night.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
93-112 (L)
Charlotte Linlin, this raw talent, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
The rim rejects Goku! The rim says no! Even a warrior gets rejected sometimes!
Monkey D. Luffy throws it away! A pass worse than a ship captain tossing the ocean vessel!
This hidden prospect Saitama can't recover! Scored on driving to the hoop! Ego the size of Texas!
Saiki Kusuo, this player nobody saw coming, operates at the top of the key with a floater! Clinic!
Halftime! Monkey D. Luffy is limping slightly heading off the court. Did you know? Monkey D. Luffy has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Saiki Kusuo storms to the bench! This who-is-this-guy player is visibly upset!
Saiki Kusuo with the contested off-balance shot back to the basket! No good! Bad selection!
Charlotte Linlin, this hungry young player, orchestrates the delay game! Iron discipline in action!
Monkey D. Luffy jogs instead of sprints! Conserving energy for commanding the ocean vessel tomorrow!
Saiki Kusuo reflects on what could have been. Tendency to rush the difference tonight.
Saiki Kusuo scratches the back of his neck nervously. Monkey D. Luffy has the look of someone who has seen things. Tonight my colleague told me I smell like stress. I told him it was my cologne. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Anime gay ends the season #9 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Saitama.
Season Journal
Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Anime gay!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Saitama. Just the name sends chills through the building. The man is massive, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
But what truly terrifies opponents isn't his highlights, it's his head. Look into his eyes during crunch time. There's nothing there. No stress, no doubt, just a killer's stare that says "give me the ball and get the hell out of the way." Opposing coaches have tried double-teams, triple-teams, zone defense, trash talk, Hack-a-Shaq... Nothing works. The man is programmed for clutch moments. It's genetic, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.
Moment of truth, folks. You see the guy at the end of the bench, the one who looks completely lost among the giants? That's Saitama. A superhero in civilian life. The kind of guy who handles bare hands better than a basketball, and who somehow ended up on a professional roster because the coach "had a vision." A vision, ladies and gentlemen. Probably somewhere between his second and third mojito at the All-Star Weekend party. Saitama has a unique playing style: he runs a lot, understands very little, and has an unfortunate tendency to treat the game and the basketball exact same way. The fans already love him. Not for his stats (he has none) but because every time he steps on the court, it's Christmas morning.
The budget? Look, I've seen GoFundMe campaigns with more money. We're below the salary floor, which means the league is literally going to HAND them cash to hit the legal minimum. It's embarrassing, but it's also a plan: tank hard, finish last, snag the first overall pick, and rebuild. The problem is they've been tanking for three years and never landed the top pick. Bad luck has a name, and it's this damn franchise.
Anime gay ends the season #9 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Saitama.
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