My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 15 | 0 | 30 |
| 2 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 3 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | My Team | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Houston Blast-Off | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 13 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Phoenix No-Defense | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby! Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Michael Jordan. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 198 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face. The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Hulk. The man. Is. A scientist. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A scientist. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got their lab notebook and apparently, the technical motion of a scientist and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
85-126 (L)
Hulk steps onto the venue! From discoverring the hidden truth to this, game time!
Hulk rises up but the shot rims out! Sometimes predictable game rears its ugly head!
Michael Jordan dishes carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
Larry Bird, this titan, lets the shooter get free facing the rim! Costly lapse!
Hulk storms to the bench! Heated! This scientist doesn't handle losing well!
The locker room fills up. Hulk has already eaten three oranges. Rumor has it Hulk does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Hulk can't convert! The scientist's touch with the hidden truth deserted them!
Hulk cramps up! Muscles tight from their lab notebook and the Spalding double duty!
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, gets the ball poked away! Sometimes predictable game when protecting the rock!
Hulk buries their face! Hidden from view, the scientist can't watch!
This elite player Stephen Curry congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this elite player.
Hulk's complexion is grey. Stephen Curry's is red. Defeat comes in different colors. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
128-82 (W)
This franchise guy Larry Bird comes out aggressive! Opens with a finger roll from downtown!
Larry Bird, this long boy, dominates back to the basket and puts up a buzzer-beater! Unstoppable!
This global icon Michael Jordan with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Hulk, this swiss-army-knife type, overpowers for a reverse layup! Size matters!
Michael Jordan with the suffocating defense! This all-time great is a wall out there!
Halftime! Hulk is limping slightly heading off the court. Small detail: Hulk wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. Back for seconds. The court is shining, and so are the players.
Larry Bird with the and-one pull-up jumper! Unreal swagger through the whistle!
Hulk fades away and it's too easy! The lead is ballooning! Mercy rule!
Larry Bird dribbles off the foot and into the front row! This established star oops!
Larry Bird, this tree of a man, takes a bow! A bench mob celebration! This bonafide star knows that was special!
Larry Bird, this tree of a man, acknowledges the fans! An electric crowd! A victory dance!
Hulk and Larry Bird form a tunnel for Hulk to crawl through. Too tall. Gets stuck. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
133-90 (W)
Larry Bird drives onto the floor! The crowd roars for this max-contract guy!
This basketball god Michael Jordan with a picture-perfect devastating dunk! The crowd goes wild!
Hulk quarter-backs the possession! Assist for a two-handed slam! What a pass!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, takes over back to the basket. An off-balance shot! That's elite!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, swats it into the third row! A surgical steal!
Halftime whistle. Hulk flops into the first available chair. Rumor has it Hulk has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. We're back! The players look fired up.
The technical flair of Hulk recalls their scientist days. A pull-up jumper! Sublime!
Michael Jordan and the starters head to the bench! Job done, game over!
Hulk asked if points can be converted to the hidden truth credits! No!
This undisputed superstar Michael Jordan rallies the crowd! A primal scream in transition! Deafening!
Hulk is named player of the game! The scientist is also the star!
Larry Bird, Stephen Curry, and Hulk pose for a group photo at center court. Nobody has a phone. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. And now, a brand new episode of 'Desperately Seeking My Cat.' Good night, everyone.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
94-103 (L)
The game begins and Hulk is ready! You can see pure God-given talent written all over his face!
Michael Jordan, this giant, gets stuffed trying an and-one! Denied!
This franchise cornerstone Hulk commits the 5-second violation! Clock management heavy feet!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, gets dunked on facing the rim! Poster material!
Hulk rises up with the precision of a scientist at work. And it's a layup!
Cut! Halftime. Stephen Curry's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Fun fact: Stephen Curry is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Hulk spins away from the huddle! This certified GOAT candidate in a dark place mentally!
Hulk can't buy a bucket! Maybe the hidden truth would be easier to aim!
Hulk creates the switch! Smooth adjustment, scientist-level thinking!
This multi-time All-Star Stephen Curry can't close out! The legs are shot off the pick and roll!
Larry Bird sits alone on the bench. This franchise guy processing the defeat.
Hulk looks like someone who hasn't slept in three days. Michael Jordan looks like someone who won't sleep tonight. My evening? A microphone, cold coffee, and the greatest show on earth. What more could you ask for. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
118-77 (W)
Hulk, this swiss-army-knife type, takes the court! The Finals-like atmosphere is electric!
Stephen Curry hits a floater! Pure God-given talent proving to be the difference tonight!
Stephen Curry with the no-look pass! This franchise guy has eyes in the back of the head!
Stephen Curry scores from along the baseline! A euro-step with unreal swagger! Brilliant!
Stephen Curry with the huge commanding rebound in the paint! This reliable star says no!
Off to the locker room. Michael Jordan has already drained two water bottles. Rumor has it Michael Jordan has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Hulk, this do-it-all player, carves up the defense for a step-back three! Beautiful!
This max-contract guy Larry Bird shows no sympathy! An off-balance shot extends the massacre!
Hulk accidentally yelled their scientist catchphrase during the play!
Stephen Curry throws the finger guns at the crowd! A hug with the coach after a step-back three!
This established star Larry Bird secures the win with silky smooth technique! Another one in the bag!
Larry Bird does a belly slide on the court. Michael Jordan does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
114-94 (W)
Michael Jordan, this tree of a man, is introduced and the arena explodes! This hall-of-fame lock is in the building!
Michael Jordan converts from the right corner! An and-one with trademark ridiculous creativity!
Hulk with the chase-down left-handed block! What athleticism!
Stephen Curry with the touch pass! This bonafide star barely had the Wilson and found the man!
This all-time great Michael Jordan sets the back screen! Silky smooth technique off-ball contribution!
Halftime whistle! Hulk slides down against the hallway wall. Little secret: Hulk has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Larry Bird fades away to the rack for a tear drop! Can't contain this towering presence!
Deafening noise! Hulk penetrates and the building shakes!
Michael Jordan, this big fella, anchors the second unit! This all-time great versatile contributor!
This elite player Stephen Curry flips the script! From struggle to dominance!
Larry Bird goes to work in triumph! The final buzzer sounds! That's a W!
Michael Jordan and Hulk play rock-paper-scissors to decide who carries the ball. Michael Jordan loses. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. We're wrapping up the mics. Up next: 'Chopped: Tupperware Lunch at the Office Edition.'
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
121-99 (W)
Tip-off! Larry Bird gets us started! Let's go!
Stephen Curry, this multi-time All-Star, knifes through for a layup on the low block! Wow!
Hulk times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A clutch steal driving to the hoop!
This bonafide star Larry Bird with the wraparound pass! How did that get through!
Michael Jordan reads the defense perfectly! Night-in night-out consistency and a sky-high basketball IQ!
The players leave the court. Michael Jordan clings to the tunnel railing. Fun fact: Michael Jordan was voted best-looking player on the team. By his mom. In a poll she created herself. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Larry Bird goes to work the damn ball with unreal swagger. And it drops! Nothing you can do!
Hulk spins to an eruption! A hostile crowd! What a moment!
Stephen Curry, this headliner, runs the play exactly as drawn! Execution!
Larry Bird spins with the fire of a thousand suns! He's on fire!
This certified GOAT candidate Michael Jordan seals the deal! Victory with scary good handles!
Stephen Curry and Larry Bird freestyle a victory rap. Michael Jordan does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. Confession: I bet against my favorite team tonight. Superstition. It works half the time. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
103-89 (W)
This franchise guy Stephen Curry opens the scoring! A floater! Early advantage!
Hulk, this combo guard, elevates for a monster bucket!
Hulk, this swiss-army-knife type, covers ground to get the iron-wall defense! Wow!
Larry Bird, this tower, drops the dime! That dawg mentality passing on display!
Hulk uses their size out there! The scientist has a built-in advantage!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Hulk walks head down toward the tunnel. Anecdote: Hulk once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Stephen Curry with the tough fadeaway jumper through contact! This guy everybody knows won't be denied!
A roaring arena as Larry Bird, this towering presence, is introduced! Goosebumps!
Larry Bird, this mammoth, holds the team together with pure God-given talent! Captain!
They said a scientist couldn't play at this level. Hulk and their lab notebook disagree!
Hulk finishes what they started! Finishing the rock like finishing the hidden truth!
Michael Jordan and Stephen Curry slap each other's butts. Hulk declines the invitation. I spent the fourth quarter standing. Not by choice. My chair gave out in the third. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
98-95 (W)
This elite player Stephen Curry means business! Fast start from way beyond the arc!
Larry Bird, this mammoth, walls off the drive off the pick and roll! No way through!
Hulk misfires again! Having the hidden truth-shaped night!
This bonafide star Larry Bird punishes the defense with a bank shot from downtown!
Stephen Curry, this big-name player, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Insane court vision!
Halftime! Hulk walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Anecdote: Hulk lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Stephen Curry comes alive in crunch time! A buzzer beater from mid-range! Clutch!
This bonafide star Stephen Curry forces the bad pass! Freakish explosiveness creating turnovers!
Hulk fires away and the crowd chants the name! Listen to that noise!
Stephen Curry, this max-contract guy, with the clutch monster swat! In the dying seconds stop!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, celebrates the win! A bench mob celebration! What a game!
Hulk and Stephen Curry pound their chests like gorillas. The coach pretends not to know them. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
103-120 (L)
Hulk, this absolute legend, draws first blood! A step-back three to start!
Stephen Curry penetrates the Wilson awkwardly! The touch just isn't there for this certified bucket!
This generational talent Hulk with turnover number buckets! Heavy feet is piling up!
This established star Stephen Curry picks up the cheap foul! Heavy feet showing!
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, unleashes a step-back three off the pick and roll! Bang!
The players file out. Hulk exchanges a tense look with the coach. Exclusive info: Hulk is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Stephen Curry picks up the second technical! This All-Star caliber talent ejected! Injury-prone body!
Hulk rushes a buzzer-beater at the top of the key! Limited stamina creeping in!
Michael Jordan crosses over to the right spot! Freakish explosiveness off-ball movement!
Hulk is spent! Used up like the hidden truth after a scientist's long day!
Hulk tips the cap to the winners! The scientist's grace with the hidden truth!
Stephen Curry takes a sip of water and spits it right back out. Michael Jordan doesn't drink. Throat too tight. Did you know that Michael Jordan practices scientist on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
119-89 (W)
Hulk locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a scientist who means business!
Stephen Curry with another scoop layup! You can't stop this man!
Hulk reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
This global icon Hulk finds the open man! Assist and a double-clutch layup!
This All-Star caliber talent Larry Bird adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
Intermission. Stephen Curry dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Rumor has it Stephen Curry tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Jump ball to restart. Let the second half begin!
Larry Bird, this big-name player, drops a tear drop from mid-range! Pure artistry!
Standing room only! Palpable tension as Michael Jordan takes over off the pick and roll!
Hulk plays their role perfectly! Role player, role scientist with their lab notebook!
A narrative for the ages: Hulk, the scientist who mastered their lab notebook and the damn ball!
Michael Jordan, this absolute legend, high-fives the bench! A slide across the hardwood! Team effort!
Hulk charges toward the crowd. Larry Bird catches him just before he dives into the stands. Evening confession: I'm wearing Hulk's jersey under my shirt. For morale. See you soon. In the meantime: 'Wipeout: IKEA on a Saturday.' Worse than the actual obstacles.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
106-111 (L)
Game time! Michael Jordan and this potential GOAT ready to put on a show at the venue!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, uses every inch to deliver a fadeaway jumper!
Larry Bird gets crossed over! This reliable star left frozen from mid-range!
Stephen Curry, this combo guard, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this multi-time All-Star!
Larry Bird, this titan, energizes the crowd! A sold-out gym on fire! Comeback vibes!
Halftime whistle! Stephen Curry slides down against the hallway wall. Did you know Stephen Curry entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. The tunnel spits the players out. The war resumes.
Michael Jordan spins into a dead end! Sometimes predictable game in late-game situations!
Hulk mouths off at after a timeout! A scientist venting about the hidden truth!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry with a performance for the ages! A moment of pure magic chapter!
This established star Larry Bird gets the look but can't convert! Sometimes predictable game at the worst time!
This established star Larry Bird stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this established star wanted.
Hulk slams his fist on the bench. Larry Bird places his palm flat, as if to calm the surface. I spent this entire evening standing because my chair has been broken for three games. Nobody fixes it. This was your favorite commentator. Coming up: 'Extreme Makeover: Garage Edition.' Don't change the channel. Or do.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
86-106 (L)
Larry Bird takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
This all-time great Michael Jordan short-arms a bucket from downtown! Not enough lift!
Hulk throws it away! A pass worse than a scientist tossing the hidden truth!
Michael Jordan reacts too late to rotate! Tendency to rush on the help side!
Michael Jordan blows past and it's a fadeaway jumper! This living legend proving the doubters wrong!
Back to the locker room. Hulk punches his locker. Rumor has it Hulk talks to his basketball in the locker room. Nobody dares say it's weird. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.
Hulk looks to the heavens! A scientist praying for their lab notebook to work!
Hulk misfires on the floater! Too much float, the scientist touch abandoned them!
Hulk calls the audible! Adapting on the fly, that's scientist mentality!
Michael Jordan, this towering presence, looks exhausted at the top of the key! The legs are gone!
Stephen Curry crosses over to the tunnel in disappointment. This world-class player will learn from this.
Hulk refuses the coach's embrace. Hulk accepts it but his body is stiff. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
106-115 (L)
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, sets the tone immediately! That dawg mentality from the jump!
A floater from Larry Bird sails wide! This bonafide star needs to regroup!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, gets stripped at the buzzer! Heavy feet exposed!
Hulk loses their assignment! Like losing their lab notebook in the workshop!
Hulk, this tweener, showcases a gym-rat work ethic with a gorgeous devastating dunk!
Break. Michael Jordan's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Little scoop: Michael Jordan tried to bribe the DJ to play his song. The DJ agreed. Nobody liked it. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Larry Bird pulls up and kicks the stanchion! This established star losing composure!
Hulk, this swiss-army-knife type, gets the separation but can't finish! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
This headliner Larry Bird adjusts the angle mid-drive! Iron discipline body control!
Larry Bird bends over during the dead ball! This big-name player gathering what's left!
Michael Jordan, this hall-of-fame lock, takes the loss hard. Sometimes predictable game at the wrong moments.
Hulk replays the score in his head on a loop. Hulk tries to think about something else. During halftime, I tried to interview the mascot. It ignored me. I'll recover eventually. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
103-117 (L)
This All-Star caliber talent Larry Bird in the starting lineup! Let's see what this All-Star caliber talent brings!
Hulk, this swiss-army-knife type, loses the handle and the opportunity! Limited stamina!
Hulk double-dribbles! Discoverring the hidden truth doesn't have that rule!
Hulk left in the dust! Even a scientist moves faster than that!
Stephen Curry pulls up and drills a buzzer-beater! Can't teach that!
Time to breathe. Larry Bird has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Locker room anecdote: Larry Bird talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Come on, second half! The best is yet to come. Or the worst. Who knows.
Hulk throws their hands up! Like a scientist when their lab notebook breaks!
Hulk launches from deep and misses! A scientist's range doesn't apply here!
This household name Michael Jordan recognizes the zone and attacks the gap! Genius!
Larry Bird, this multi-time All-Star, is dragging! The four quarters minutes taking their toll!
Hulk fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the scientist gave everything!
Larry Bird avoids the cameras like the plague. Hulk gets caught. Just says 'we'll be better'. Fun fact: my driver has been waiting in the parking lot for an hour. He's sent me 14 messages. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
Season Journal
Buckle up, pull your visor down, and clench everything you've got because tonight we are NOT talking about some pickup game at the park. Hell no. We're talking about an arena shaking so hard the neighbors called the cops three times before tip-off. We're talking about a franchise built on decades of sweat, tears, heart-stopping buzzer-beaters, and Draft picks so bold that half the league thought they'd lost their minds. And yet, here they are, back and hungrier than ever. The team with no name, baby!
Now let's talk about the man who moves jerseys faster than hot dogs at the concession stand. Michael Jordan. Just the name sends chills through the building. Standing at 198 cm, arms that cover half the court, and a basketball IQ so fast that defenders feel like they're playing in slow motion. This man doesn't walk, he glides. He doesn't jump, he launches into orbit. And when he locks eyes with you before a free throw, you feel like YOU'RE the one about to catch the ball in your face.
The opposing locker room before the game, you know what they talk about? Not the game plan. Not the offensive scheme. No. They talk about HIM. "How do we stop him?" "Who takes the matchup?" "Does he look tired?" Spoiler: he's never tired. And even when he looks tired, it's a trap. The man fakes exhaustion in the third quarter and drops 14 in the fourth like a coiled spring being released. Opposing coaches have 50-page scouting reports on him, and every single page is absolutely useless.
And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Hulk. The man. Is. A scientist. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A scientist. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got their lab notebook and apparently, the technical motion of a scientist and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach.
Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
My Team ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
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