My dream starting five — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | My Team | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 6 | Denver Horse-Track | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | Houston Blast-Off | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | New York Over-Timers | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Shaquille O'Neal. Standing at 216 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around. And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Wally West. The man is a superhero. A freaking superhero. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered. Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
102-119 (L)
This franchise cornerstone Batman gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Shaquille O'Neal can't hit the ocean right now! Another miss for this potential GOAT!
Wally West throws it away! A pass worse than a superhero tossing the game!
Shaquille O'Neal, this long boy, can't keep up with the speed! Heavy feet exposed!
Michael Jordan posts up past the defense for a bucket! Size advantage from this this absolute unit!
Halftime. Shaquille O'Neal's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Rumor has it Shaquille O'Neal tried to recruit the pizza delivery guy for the team. The guy was 6'9". Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
This basketball god Michael Jordan slaps the floor in anger! The frustration is palpable!
A layup from Michael Jordan catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Batman sets the screen at the perfect angle! This certified GOAT candidate cerebral play!
Shaquille O'Neal shoots but the legs won't cooperate! Shaky emotions under pressure catching up!
Stephen Curry had the chances but couldn't convert. This established star left wanting.
Stephen Curry whispers 'this can't be real' under his breath. Michael Jordan nods without conviction. During the game, I got a text from my mom: 'Stop yelling, I can hear you from here.' She lives 120 miles away. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
113-99 (W)
Batman checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!
Stephen Curry, this big-name player, sinks a pull-up jumper with surgical precision driving to the hoop!
Shaquille O'Neal times it perfectly and rejects the shot! A monster swat along the baseline!
Wally West dishes a beautiful pass! Special delivery from this superhero!
Wally West adapts to the coverage! Adaptive as a superhero with the game!
Players head to the locker room. Michael Jordan has tape on three fingers. Staff confession: Michael Jordan is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.
Batman scores the go-ahead! A superhero who always finishes the job on time!
Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, plays to the crowd! A crowd fully behind them is contagious!
Shaquille O'Neal celebrates the team's success! This undisputed superstar knows together is better!
Batman, the superhero from the day shift, is writing their story on the arena tonight!
Shaquille O'Neal, this generational talent, soaks in the moment! Victory driving to the hoop! A hug with the coach!
Batman and Michael Jordan freestyle a victory rap. Wally West does the beatbox. It's terrible but magnificent. On my end, I ate three chocolate bars during the timeouts. Sports make you hungry, even in the booth. See you soon. Coming up: 'Extreme Couponing: Family of Eight at Walmart.' Double episode.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
122-96 (W)
Batman stretches center court! Loosening up, the superhero is getting ready!
A floater from Stephen Curry! This max-contract guy reminding everyone why they're on top!
This franchise cornerstone Michael Jordan reads the play and intercepts! Brilliant anticipation!
Batman, this solid build, hits the cutter perfectly! Scary good handles right on time!
Stephen Curry, this franchise guy, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Nerves of steel!
Halftime! Shaquille O'Neal has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Little scoop: Shaquille O'Neal collects Pokemon cards. That Charizard is worth more than his first contract. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
This basketball god Michael Jordan goes to work on the low block! A hook shot drops beautifully!
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry has the arena rocking! Wild stands off the charts!
Batman dribbles the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!
This guy everybody knows Stephen Curry refuses to lose! The will of a champion!
It's over! Shaquille O'Neal delivers the goods! This household name walks off a winner!
Michael Jordan hits a dab in 2026. Stephen Curry does an ironic dab. Batman has no idea what that is. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
107-106 (W)
Stephen Curry takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Batman digs in defensively! Freakish explosiveness when the team needs stops!
Stephen Curry, this smooth operator, gets the look at the buzzer but the lid's on the rim!
Michael Jordan, this colossus, uses strength and skill for a catch-and-shoot triple! Complete player!
Wally West uses their size out there! The superhero has a built-in advantage!
Halftime! Michael Jordan walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Confession: Michael Jordan calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
This top-tier talent Stephen Curry silences the crowd! A bank shot in the paint! Stone cold!
Wally West stands firm! Not moving, this superhero is planted!
The crowd is on its feet! An incredible energy as Stephen Curry takes the court!
Stephen Curry, this swiss-army-knife type, scores the go-ahead! A buzzer-beater! Heart of a champion!
Stephen Curry, this All-Star caliber talent, embraces the teammates! A slide across the hardwood! Sweet victory!
Michael Jordan and Stephen Curry cradle the game ball like a baby. Wally West takes a photo. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. We're done for tonight. And now: 'Ancient Aliens: The True History of the Coffee Break.'
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
118-103 (W)
Wally West bounces the orange pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Stephen Curry, this all-around player, dominates at half court and puts up a tear drop! Unstoppable!
Shaquille O'Neal slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Iron discipline in every step!
This global icon Michael Jordan leads the fast break and dishes! Easy bucket off the assist!
Wally West drives into the right spacing! Scary good handles and elite court awareness!
The players file out. Michael Jordan exchanges a tense look with the coach. Fun fact: Michael Jordan failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, posts up and delivers an and-one! Textbook!
Wally West gets a crowd fully behind them every time they step on the palace of hoops! The superhero aura!
Wally West finds the open teammate! This total unknown making everyone better!
Shaquille O'Neal is writing the story tonight! This global icon with a reverse layup along the baseline!
That's the game! Shaquille O'Neal finishes with a monster performance! This all-time great victorious!
Shaquille O'Neal and Wally West chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
129-83 (W)
Wally West wins the opening tip! Tipping off with superhero energy!
Wally West fires away the rock with purpose! A step-back three! This dark horse means business!
Batman leads the break! Leading the charge like a superhero who runs the show!
Wally West with a free throw! The finesse of their bare hands right there on the hardwood!
Michael Jordan with a textbook defensive stance! That's how you do it!
Halftime! Wally West walks barefoot on the cold tunnel tiles. Anecdote of the day: Wally West forgot his shorts on the last road trip. Played in borrowed shorts two sizes too big. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Michael Jordan penetrates and fires a two-handed slam! This big fella lighting it up!
Wally West and the starters head to the bench! Job done, game over!
Batman, this basketball god, waves off the screen and runs into it anyway! Classic!
Michael Jordan lets out a roar! The emotion is real! A raised fist!
Shaquille O'Neal can breathe! The win is secured, it's over!
Shaquille O'Neal and Wally West act out a movie scene where they reunite in slow motion. The crowd is dying. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
117-75 (W)
Tip-off! Stephen Curry gets us started! Let's go!
A hook shot from Wally West! Another dagger! This player nobody saw coming closing the door!
Shaquille O'Neal spins the leather through traffic! What a pass by this generational talent!
Batman attacks under the basket and finishes with a hook shot! Too good!
Batman with the textbook defense! Written by a superhero with their bare hands!
Time to breathe. Wally West has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Did you know? Wally West launched a basketball podcast. Two episodes. Zero listeners. Still going. And we're off! The energy in the arena just went up a notch.
An alley-oop by Michael Jordan driving to the hoop! Unreal swagger in every fiber!
Stephen Curry steps back to yet another easy bucket! The floodgates opened!
Stephen Curry trips over the basketball! Even this established star has those moments!
Stephen Curry, this headliner, with the primal scream! A bench mob celebration! Raw emotion!
Final buzzer! Michael Jordan is the hero! This once-in-a-lifetime player with a game for the ages!
Stephen Curry mimes popping a champagne bottle. Batman mimes chugging straight from it. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
130-91 (W)
Game time! Michael Jordan and this global icon ready to put on a show at the den!
Batman converts along the baseline! A buzzer-beater with trademark a gym-rat work ethic!
Michael Jordan threads the needle! Beautiful assist on the low block! Unreal court vision!
This surprise package Wally West capitalizes from the right corner! A two-handed slam with nerves of steel!
This headliner Stephen Curry takes the charge facing the rim! Gutsy play!
Halftime. Stephen Curry throws his towel on the floor walking in. Did you know Stephen Curry knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Minnesota Ice-Wall's colors. By accident, obviously. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.
Wally West, this raw talent, drops a hook shot on the low block! Pure artistry!
Michael Jordan explodes and it's too easy! The lead is ballooning! Mercy rule!
This generational talent Shaquille O'Neal does the robot during the dead ball! A fist pump toward the bench!
Wally West does the superhero dance after a bank shot! The game has never looked this fun!
Wally West, this solid build, salutes the faithful! A slide across the hardwood! What a night!
Stephen Curry launches his shoe into the air. Batman catches it. Standing ovation. Your favorite commentator survived. It's not much, but it's honest work. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
117-75 (W)
Shaquille O'Neal, this big fella, takes the court! The sold-out gym on fire is electric!
Batman scores on the putback! Recycling the game is second nature for a superhero!
Wally West feeds the post! Nourishing the play with pure superhero instinct!
Wally West, this combo guard, overpowers for a hook shot! Size matters!
Stephen Curry with the chase-down flawless defensive rotation! What athleticism!
Well-deserved break. Wally West looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Rumor has it Wally West does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. We're back! The DJ cranks the volume, the players charge onto the court.
The technical flair of Batman recalls their superhero days. A pull-up jumper! Sublime!
Stephen Curry penetrates without breaking a sweat! This jersey-selling name cruise control!
Stephen Curry fires away and bumps into the mascot on the sideline! Entertainment!
Michael Jordan blows a kiss to the fans! Cool as you like, a raised fist!
Stephen Curry blows past off the court victorious! This established star leaves it all out there!
Stephen Curry improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Michael Jordan plays the imaginary violin. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'Nailed It: Cakes Ruined by My Mother-in-Law.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
104-86 (W)
Michael Jordan, this oversized freak, announced to huge cheers! An incredible energy!
Michael Jordan dunks and scores! A catch-and-shoot triple! This 7-footer is a problem!
Batman recovers and blocks! That's the hustle of someone who works for a living!
Michael Jordan reads the defense like a book! Assist at half court! That dawg mentality!
Batman outsmarts the opponent! The brains of a superhero with their bare hands!
End of the first act. Stephen Curry is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Intel: Stephen Curry once called an imaginary timeout in the middle of a game. The ref actually hesitated. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
This surprise package Wally West does it again! A thunderous slam with effortless precision!
A roaring arena fills the arena! This potential breakout star Wally West feeds off the energy!
Michael Jordan lets fly the Spalding with patience! This once-in-a-lifetime player trusting the system!
Tonight, Wally West isn't just a superhero, they're a phenomenon with their bare hands!
This newcomer Wally West caps off a special night! A bench mob celebration! Until next time!
Stephen Curry grabs the arena mic and screams. Just a scream. Michael Jordan applauds. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Thanks everyone! And now: 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 312.' They will never stop.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
120-104 (W)
Michael Jordan, this titan, is introduced and the arena explodes! This household name is in the building!
Shaquille O'Neal, this first-ballot legend, reads the play perfectly and delivers a hook shot!
Shaquille O'Neal picks the pocket of the ball handler! Straight robbery!
Wally West connects on the outlet! Long-range passing like their bare hands at distance!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Both teams head in. Shaquille O'Neal has a red mark on his cheek from an elbow. Did you know Shaquille O'Neal plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Wally West hits the pull-up jumper! The elevation of a superhero lifting their bare hands!
You can cut the tension with a knife! A roaring arena as Michael Jordan steps up!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
This undisputed superstar Michael Jordan is living their best moment right now in the paint!
Shaquille O'Neal, this mountain of a man, takes the final bow! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! Dominant display!
Stephen Curry improvises an Oscar acceptance speech. Shaquille O'Neal plays the imaginary violin. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Good night! And now: 'Naked and Afraid: Lost in the Shopping Mall.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
132-90 (W)
This all-time great Shaquille O'Neal in the starting lineup! Let's see what this all-time great brings!
Shaquille O'Neal, this long boy, elevates for a monster devastating dunk!
Stephen Curry steps back and dishes! Gorgeous feed from way beyond the arc! Natural-born leadership!
Batman catches and shoots,a euro-step! Quick hands from competing the game!
Shaquille O'Neal, this certified GOAT candidate, walls up on the low block! Impenetrable defense!
The players disappear. Michael Jordan has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Anecdote: Michael Jordan lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. The hardwood awaits. Here we go for the second half.
Batman carves through and scores! That's what a superhero does best!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan adds another! This is a demolition job!
Is Batman dribbling or competing the game? Hard to tell from here!
Wally West pumps their fist! The fist that grips their bare hands all day!
This raw talent Wally West led from start to finish! Comprehensive win!
Shaquille O'Neal does a belly slide on the court. Batman does a back slide. The hardwood is ruined. On my end, the AC in the booth broke down. I sweated more than Batman. That's it for tonight. Coming up: 'True Confessions: I Put Ketchup on Pasta.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
92-119 (L)
The game begins and Michael Jordan is ready! You can see unreal swagger written all over his face!
Stephen Curry dribbles but the shot rims out! Hot head rears its ugly head!
Stephen Curry launches into a dead end back to the basket! Turnover! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
This living legend Michael Jordan can't recover! Scored on driving to the hoop! Occasional mental lapses!
Shaquille O'Neal catches fire! And it's a double-clutch layup! Silky smooth technique taking over!
First half is done. Batman is chugging Gatorade like it's water. I've been told Batman always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
Michael Jordan explodes angrily after the turnover! This living legend spiraling!
Michael Jordan shoots the pill into nothing! Sometimes predictable game on full display tonight!
Shaquille O'Neal, this absolute unit, uses the jab step to freeze the defender! Crafty!
Shaquille O'Neal is running on pure willpower! This generational talent refusing to quit!
Batman leaves the den quietly! Quiet as a superhero after the game setback!
Wally West has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Batman has aged ten years in forty minutes. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
92-105 (L)
Shaquille O'Neal crosses over onto the floor! The crowd roars for this global icon!
Shaquille O'Neal fires a devastating dunk from the left corner but can't connect! Defense that's basically a suggestion showing!
This hall-of-fame lock Shaquille O'Neal dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!
Shaquille O'Neal, this big fella, fouls unnecessarily from the left corner! Tendency to force bad shots!
Batman spins and scores! Pivoting like they pivot with their bare hands at work!
Time to breathe. Michael Jordan has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Rumor has it Michael Jordan has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Wally West vents at their teammates! The superhero who vents about the game!
Michael Jordan, this long boy, wastes a golden chance with a wild fadeaway jumper!
Batman goes to the post! That superhero strength is showing!
Wally West is visibly tired! This surprise package needs a timeout badly!
Batman walks off in defeat! Even a superhero's skills couldn't save tonight!
Stephen Curry isolates in a corner, back against the wall. Batman tries to talk. He raises a hand to say no. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
94-99 (L)
Batman, this guy with rings on every finger, embraces the packed arena! Game on!
Shaquille O'Neal clanks another one off the rim! This global icon needs to find rhythm!
Stephen Curry shoots carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
This world-class player Stephen Curry gives up the offensive rebound! Occasional mental lapses when boxing out!
This bonafide star Stephen Curry with a picture-perfect euro-step! The crowd goes wild!
The locker room fills up. Shaquille O'Neal has already eaten three oranges. Did you know Shaquille O'Neal plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
This dude out of nowhere Wally West shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Batman can't buy a shot! Wouldn't happen with the game, a superhero always hits!
This guy with rings on every finger Shaquille O'Neal runs the pick-and-pop to perfection! Tactical mastery!
Michael Jordan is gassed! This once-in-a-lifetime player bent over at half court! Heavy feet catching up!
Batman sits on the bench post-game! Sitting like a superhero after their bare hands broke!
Shaquille O'Neal unclasps his chain and squeezes it in his fist. Batman runs a hand down his face. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
My Team ends the season #4 with a 11W-4L record. Season MVP: Shaquille O'Neal.
Season Journal
Good evening everyone and fasten your seatbelts because tonight we are not doing this gently. The arena is already sweating, the DJ cranked the volume so high the hardwood is vibrating, and there's a guy in the third row who painted his chest in the team colors even though it's freezing outside. That's devotion. That's basketball madness. And the franchise rolling in tonight deserves every decibel of this insane atmosphere. They've been through the hell of winless stretches and the ecstasy of Finals appearances, and honestly, nobody ever knows what they're going to pull off. That's what makes this sport so damn beautiful. The team with no name, baby!
If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Shaquille O'Neal. Standing at 216 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.
The worst part? His ice-cold composure. The clock shows 0.8 seconds, the whole building is holding its breath, the ball is burning in his hands... And he flashes a little smirk before draining the game-winner with sickening ease. He's the engine, the brain, and the heartbeat of that locker room. If he sneezes, the whole damn franchise catches a cold. Tonight, he's on a mission, and believe me, he didn't show up to mess around.
And now, the moment nobody was waiting for but everybody is going to love: the coach signed Wally West. The man is a superhero. A freaking superhero. In a league where everybody is 6'8" and runs a 4.4 forty, he rolls up with bare hands and a suspicious amount of enthusiasm. His first instinct walking into the locker room? Ask where the coffee machine was. His second instinct? Try to dribble and bounce the ball straight into his own face. The teammates lost it. The coach just said "that's the kind of grit I was looking for." We still don't know if he was serious or completely hammered.
Now listen up, the owner has pulled out the checkbook and he's willing to eat the luxury tax penalties. We're in the big leagues. Two max contracts, well-paid veterans on every corner. They're all-in. Every extra dollar spent costs them three in taxes, but they don't care: they want to raise that trophy in June and they've got the firepower to back it up.
My Team ends the season #4 with a 11W-4L record. Season MVP: Shaquille O'Neal.
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