2_good_4_U — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | New York Over-Timers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | 2_good_4_U | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 15 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... 2_good_4_U! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Michael Jordan. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 198 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Superman. The man. Is. A superhero. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A superhero. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got bare hands and apparently, the technical motion of a superhero and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach. The budget here is absolutely insane, we're talking stratosphere money. This is Warriors and Suns territory. These guys are so loaded they've triggered the Second Apron: the league literally forbids them from signing free agents or combining salaries in trades. They have zero flexibility, handcuffed by their own damn wealth. It's "championship or crash and burn," no in-between.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
93-128 (L)
This jersey-selling name Larry Bird gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!
Magic Johnson misfires facing the rim! This first-ballot legend searching for answers!
Michael Jordan with a wild pass that sails out! This all-time great giving it away!
Superman, this swiss-army-knife type, can't keep up with the speed! Hot head exposed!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Michael Jordan can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
The players disappear. Michael Jordan has a makeshift neck brace out of a towel. Rumor has it Michael Jordan does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Back on the court. The coach changed the starting five, that'll be a surprise.
Michael Jordan, this global icon, with a contested deep three that misses at half court!
Superman asks for the ball to slow the pace! This guy with rings on every finger needs air!
Michael Jordan with the errant pass! This global icon needs to settle down!
Michael Jordan glares at the scoreboard! This once-in-a-lifetime player not happy with the situation!
Magic Johnson walks off in silence. This first-ballot legend gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Superman has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Michael Jordan has aged ten years in forty minutes. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
103-99 (W)
Superman locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a superhero who means business!
Michael Jordan, this walking skyscraper, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
Superman misfires from mid-range! Their bare hands calibration needed!
Superman, this tweener, posts up and delivers a layup! Textbook!
This living legend Magic Johnson calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!
Heading in. Larry Bird's eyes are bloodshot from sheer effort. Anecdote: Larry Bird once shot at the wrong basket during warm-ups. Nobody has forgotten. Back at it! The players jog toward center court.
Larry Bird dishes for the lead! A step-back three at the top of the key! What a moment!
Michael Jordan forces the shot-clock violation! Silky smooth technique on full display!
Larry Bird, this multi-time All-Star, waves the crowd up! Immense pressure rising!
This first-ballot legend Magic Johnson with nerves of steel! A catch-and-shoot triple when it matters most!
Superman has the last say! Final word from a superhero about the game!
Larry Bird makes the phone sign toward the opposing bench. Spider-Man makes the 'call us' gesture. I spent my evening screaming into a microphone, and honestly, I'd do it all over again. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
123-94 (W)
Magic Johnson takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Larry Bird attacks back to the basket and finishes with a finger roll! Too good!
Larry Bird blocks it and keeps it in play! Heads-up play, what awareness!
Magic Johnson with the lob pass under the basket! This undisputed superstar to the teammate! Boom!
Superman reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this superhero!
Cut! Halftime. Magic Johnson's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Exclusive: Magic Johnson was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
Larry Bird, this max-contract guy, operates at the buzzer with a half-court heave! Clinic!
You can feel a Finals-like atmosphere through the screen! Magic Johnson in the spotlight!
Michael Jordan, this titan, anchors the second unit! This household name versatile contributor!
Larry Bird, this reliable star, has been building to this all game! At the jump ball!
Superman salutes the fans! A superhero's farewell until the next game!
Superman does the robot at center court while Magic Johnson pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. I learned that Superman's father was a superhero. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
109-90 (W)
Larry Bird, this multi-time All-Star, draws first blood! A tear drop to start!
Superman scores a finger roll! Their bare hands by day, buckets by night!
Michael Jordan, this potential GOAT, shuts down the play along the baseline! Lockdown defender!
This franchise cornerstone Magic Johnson with the behind-the-back dish! Highlight-reel pass!
Larry Bird pushes the pace in transition! A gym-rat work ethic showing in every play!
Buzzer sounds, halftime! Larry Bird walks head down toward the tunnel. Locker room anecdote: Larry Bird talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Act two! The bench players are fired up, the starters too.
Magic Johnson buries a layup from mid-range! This household name is on fire tonight!
Chants of 'superhero! Superhero!' fill the palace of hoops for Superman!
Superman sacrifices the body taking the charge! This household name ultimate teammate!
Spider-Man, this miniature missile, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this household name right now!
Magic Johnson steps back into the tunnel with the W! This once-in-a-lifetime player all smiles!
Spider-Man pretends to faint from happiness. Larry Bird pretends to call 911. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're done here. Up next: 'Top Chef: Microwave Edition.' Bon appetit.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
106-97 (W)
Tip-off! Magic Johnson gets us started! Let's go!
This living legend Superman with a beautiful buzzer beater facing the rim! Poetry in motion!
Spider-Man, this lightning-quick little man, swats it into the third row! A surgical steal!
This world-class player Larry Bird exploits the gap! Dime to the corner for a buzzer-beater!
This all-time great Spider-Man adjusts at halftime and comes out sharp! Adaptation!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Larry Bird asks for an ice pack. Staff confession: Larry Bird is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. The players emerge from the tunnel. Stern faces, clenched fists.
A half-court heave by Larry Bird from the left corner! Natural-born leadership in every fiber!
An electric crowd fills the arena! This franchise guy Larry Bird feeds off the energy!
Spider-Man rallies everyone! The rally of a superhero rallying around the game!
The arc of this game bends toward Larry Bird! This bonafide star controlling destiny!
This reliable star Larry Bird raises the arms! The win is in the books! A salute to the fans!
Magic Johnson drops to his knees and kisses the court. Larry Bird pretends to gag. While you were watching the game, I was desperately searching for my pen. Still haven't found it. We're out. Up next: 'Say Yes to the Dress: Budget Three Fifty, Theme: Elastic.' Good luck.
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
116-103 (W)
Larry Bird opens with an off-balance shot! This bonafide star making an early statement!
A double-clutch layup from Spider-Man along the baseline! That's a certified bucket-getter!
Larry Bird rotates perfectly for the charge taken! Nerves of steel on full display!
This household name Michael Jordan creates for others! Unselfish play with an off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Magic Johnson posts up with purpose every possession! This generational talent chess master!
Halftime. Superman throws his towel on the floor walking in. Anecdote: Superman threw up before his first pro game. No more pre-game burgers ever since. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Superman handles the pill like their bare hands. A finger roll from the right corner! The precision of a superhero!
Larry Bird lets fly in front of the home faithful! A Playoff atmosphere! Beautiful!
Spider-Man, this small but mighty player, repositions on defense! Next-level basketball IQ collective effort!
Spider-Man is having a career night! Better than any day with their bare hands!
Larry Bird, this oversized freak, celebrates the win! A victory dance! What a game!
Magic Johnson does the robot at center court while Larry Bird pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
102-92 (W)
This certified GOAT candidate Michael Jordan in the starting lineup! Let's see what this certified GOAT candidate brings!
Superman turns the restricted area into a workshop. A tear drop crafted with their bare hands!
Magic Johnson, this mammoth, with the clutch clutch steal! The crowd is on its feet!
This certified bucket Larry Bird zips the pass through! Another dime from this titan!
Magic Johnson lets fly into the right spacing! A gym-rat work ethic and elite court awareness!
Halftime whistle! Magic Johnson grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Locker room intel: Magic Johnson has a tattoo of a basketball hoop on his butt. That's commitment. There they are. The coach must have found the right words.
Magic Johnson, this mountain of a man, rises above and hammers a pull-up jumper!
Michael Jordan, this titan, commands a standing ovation! The arena belongs to this potential GOAT!
Spider-Man makes the extra pass! Extra effort, the superhero way!
Larry Bird fires away into the record books! This world-class player making memories!
Larry Bird, this colossus, acknowledges the fans! A boiling cauldron! A team high-five!
Spider-Man and Michael Jordan stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks for watching. Coming up: '48 Hours: The Secret Life of Roundabouts.' Essential viewing.
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
125-97 (W)
This once-in-a-lifetime player Spider-Man comes out aggressive! Opens with a bucket from the left corner!
Magic Johnson lets fly the damn ball with purpose! A euro-step! This franchise cornerstone means business!
Magic Johnson slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! Silky smooth technique in every step!
Spider-Man, this little guy, runs the offense with unreal swagger! Beautiful passing!
Michael Jordan sets the screen at the perfect angle! This generational talent cerebral play!
Halftime. Superman throws his towel on the floor walking in. I've been told Superman always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Spider-Man with the smooth finger roll! This first-ballot legend making it look easy!
The energy in this building is unreal! Larry Bird channeling a sold-out gym on fire!
Spider-Man makes the extra pass! This all-time great hockey assist for a devastating dunk!
The narrative shifts! Magic Johnson takes control with pure God-given talent!
That's the game! Magic Johnson finishes with a monster performance! This household name victorious!
Larry Bird and Spider-Man chest bump so hard they each fly back three meters. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
119-81 (W)
Magic Johnson, this mountain of a man, takes the court! The cathedral silence is electric!
A buzzer-beater from downtown by Larry Bird! This mammoth with the long range!
Superman picks apart the defense! Dissecting every move with superhero precision!
Spider-Man attacks and converts! A bank shot in the paint! Money!
Michael Jordan anticipates the cut and deflects the ball! This all-time great reading minds!
Back to the locker room. Magic Johnson's shorts are torn but he couldn't care less. Small detail: Magic Johnson wears mismatched socks every game. Calls it a strategy. The players are back. Some look fresh, others... Not so much.
Spider-Man fades away the damn ball with flair and hits a scoop layup! Sensational!
This basketball god Magic Johnson shows no sympathy! A pull-up jumper extends the massacre!
Larry Bird, this mountain of a man, flexes after a missed shot! This jersey-selling name keeping it positive!
Larry Bird lets fly and celebrates! A raised fist along the baseline! The crowd erupts!
This global icon Spider-Man wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Larry Bird and Spider-Man slap each other's butts. Magic Johnson declines the invitation. Evening confession: I'm wearing Larry Bird's jersey under my shirt. For morale. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
96-118 (L)
Game time! Larry Bird and this big-name player ready to put on a show at the palace of hoops!
Michael Jordan with a wild attempt! This certified GOAT candidate not finding the range tonight!
Magic Johnson coughs up the basketball! Hot head strikes again in transition!
Larry Bird gets burned on the drive! Sometimes predictable game in lateral movement!
Michael Jordan with an incredible alley-oop at half court! Standing ovation!
Halftime. Michael Jordan's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Confession: Michael Jordan calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.
Michael Jordan storms to the bench! This undisputed superstar is visibly upset!
Michael Jordan dunks but the shot rims out! Limited stamina rears its ugly head!
Superman, this solid build, positions perfectly for the offensive rebound! Iron discipline!
Spider-Man looks to the bench for relief! Relief like a superhero relieved of their bare hands!
This global icon Spider-Man leaves the field house with head held high. Fought to the end.
Michael Jordan's gaze is cold, distant. Superman's gaze is hot, angry. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
97-109 (L)
Larry Bird dribbles onto the floor! The crowd roars for this franchise guy!
Spider-Man, this little thunder, wastes a golden chance with a wild off-balance shot!
Superman with the backcourt violation! A superhero going backwards with the game!
Spider-Man gets screened out of the play! This guy with rings on every finger lost in traffic!
Larry Bird dunks past everyone for an alley-oop! This big fella on a mission!
Well-deserved break. Magic Johnson looks like someone who just ran a marathon. Fun fact: Magic Johnson is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back at it! The coach said two words. Two words that were enough.
Spider-Man buries their face! Hidden from view, the superhero can't watch!
Spider-Man, this guy with rings on every finger, fumbles the finish from way beyond the arc! Back to the drawing board!
Larry Bird reads the defense perfectly! A gym-rat work ethic and a sky-high basketball IQ!
Spider-Man, this pocket rocket, is moving in slow motion! Tank is empty!
Michael Jordan, this basketball god, takes the loss hard. Tendency to force bad shots at the wrong moments.
Michael Jordan pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Spider-Man takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. I drank so much coffee tonight I'm going to commentate in my sleep. We're packing up. Time for the late-night feature: 'Unsolved Mysteries: Where Is My Left Sock.'
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
88-129 (L)
The game begins and Michael Jordan is ready! You can see an off-the-charts basketball IQ written all over his face!
A fadeaway jumper attempt by Larry Bird falls short! Sometimes predictable game in the legs!
Larry Bird charges right into the defender! Turnover! Ego the size of Texas when controlling pace!
Michael Jordan, this long boy, lets the shooter get free from the right corner! Costly lapse!
Superman kicks the air! The frustration of a superhero who knows they can do better!
First half is done. Magic Johnson is chugging Gatorade like it's water. Intel: Magic Johnson refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. Let's go. The arena rumbles, the players answer.
Magic Johnson, this beanpole, gets the separation but can't finish! Limited stamina!
Superman is gassed! More tired than after a full day of competing the game!
Larry Bird shoots carelessly and gets stripped! Another giveaway!
This guy with rings on every finger Michael Jordan hangs the head after the miss! Deflated facing the rim!
Larry Bird sits alone on the bench. This guy everybody knows processing the defeat.
Larry Bird walks head down toward the tunnel. Superman drags his feet behind, shoulders slumped. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
84-112 (L)
This jersey-selling name Larry Bird means business! Fast start in the paint!
A fadeaway jumper from Larry Bird goes in and out! Heartbreaking at half court!
Superman double-dribbles! Competing the game doesn't have that rule!
This elite player Larry Bird gives up the offensive rebound! Defense that's basically a suggestion when boxing out!
Michael Jordan, this franchise cornerstone, knifes through for a layup off the pick and roll! Wow!
Rest. Larry Bird buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Anecdote: Larry Bird fell asleep on the bench during an exhibition game. Still got named MVP. Break's over, time for basketball. Let's go.
Spider-Man mouths off and picks up a T! Heavy feet taking over!
A bank shot from Larry Bird catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Superman draws the double team! Attracting attention, the superhero is a magnet out there!
Superman grabs the shorts! This absolute legend is running on fumes!
Superman goes to work past the media. This all-time great not in the mood to talk.
Spider-Man chews his nails on the bench. Superman stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. I learned tonight that Spider-Man used to be a superhero. That explains the unique running style. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
101-108 (L)
Larry Bird, this guy everybody knows, embraces the incredible energy! Game on!
Michael Jordan with the contested catch-and-shoot triple along the baseline! No good! Bad selection!
Larry Bird throws it into the stands! What was that from this guy everybody knows!
Magic Johnson gambles for the steal and pays the price! Defense that's basically a suggestion!
Superman pops the jumper! Clean as their bare hands after a polish!
The locker room fills up. Magic Johnson has already eaten three oranges. Anecdote: Magic Johnson once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.
Magic Johnson slams the basketball in frustration! Tendency to rush on full display!
Michael Jordan, this beanpole, loses the handle and the opportunity! Occasional mental lapses!
Larry Bird, this long boy, exploits the mismatch along the baseline! Smart play!
Superman waves for a timeout! The superhero needs the game break!
This jersey-selling name Larry Bird congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this jersey-selling name.
Spider-Man bites his lip, fists clenched. Superman shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. Yours truly held it together all evening without a bathroom break. That's professionalism. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
99-112 (L)
Spider-Man bounces the rock pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Superman can't convert! The superhero's touch with the game deserted them!
Michael Jordan throws it away! Limited stamina under pressure from downtown!
This certified GOAT candidate Spider-Man caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
What a play by Magic Johnson! A free throw under the basket! This household name is cooking!
Break! Magic Johnson has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Rumor has it Magic Johnson has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
This guy everybody knows Larry Bird shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!
Brick! Spider-Man misfires driving to the hoop! Tendency to force bad shots at the worst time!
Spider-Man uses a triangle offense brilliantly! Strategy from competing the game!
Michael Jordan misses from fatigue! This household name can't get the elevation at the top of the key!
Superman, this smooth operator, hangs the head. Tough loss despite unreal swagger effort.
Michael Jordan bites his lip, fists clenched. Larry Bird shakes his head slowly, in disbelief. Tonight I learned Michael Jordan used to be a superhero before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. Good evening! Up next: 'Criminal Minds: Finding the Colleague Who Steals Yogurt from the Fridge.'
2_good_4_U ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
Season Journal
Holy shit, the arena is erupting and the game hasn't even started. There are 20,000 absolute maniacs on their feet chanting the name of a franchise with more scars than a retired boxer. Seasons of domination, seasons of total demolition, insane 3 AM trades, Draft picks that smelled like either genius or pure madness, nobody knew at the time, and honestly sometimes we still don't. But tonight, all of that is behind us. Tonight is the present, and the present reeks of adrenaline and revenge. Ladies and gentlemen... 2_good_4_U!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Michael Jordan. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 198 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
And because this season couldn't possibly be normal, the coach went out and signed Superman. The man. Is. A superhero. I'm going to let that marinate for two seconds. A superhero. On a professional basketball court. With guys who jump 3 feet off the ground. This dude jumps 6 inches, on a good day, with a running start and the wind at his back. But he's got bare hands and apparently, the technical motion of a superhero and a pull-up jumper are "basically the same thing, give or take 90 degrees." That's what the coach said. The team doctor immediately requested a cognitive evaluation for the coach.
The budget here is absolutely insane, we're talking stratosphere money. This is Warriors and Suns territory. These guys are so loaded they've triggered the Second Apron: the league literally forbids them from signing free agents or combining salaries in trades. They have zero flexibility, handcuffed by their own damn wealth. It's "championship or crash and burn," no in-between.
2_good_4_U ends the season #8 with a 8W-7L record. Season MVP: Michael Jordan.
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