g.o.a.t.s — basketball_team 🇺🇸
5 members · TeamBranch
Season Journal
Standings
| # | Team | W | L | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 13 | 2 | 26 |
| 3 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | g.o.a.t.s | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 10 | 5 | 20 |
| 7 | Denver Horse-Track | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 8 | New York Over-Timers | 9 | 6 | 18 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 7 | 8 | 14 |
| 10 | Houston Blast-Off | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 13 | Phoenix No-Defense | 4 | 11 | 8 |
| 14 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 2 | 13 | 4 |
| 16 | Miami Heart-Attack | 1 | 14 | 2 |
Pre-season
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... G.o.a.t.s! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Stephen Curry. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 188 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch. The chef's surprise of the evening is Son Goku. A bushi by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the feudal lord with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him. This team's budget is the GDP of a small country. Seriously, there are nations at the UN moving less cash than this roster. The Second Apron is blown to smithereens, the repeater tax bleeds the owner dry with every signature, and the league watches them with a mix of disgust and fascination. But the owner doesn't care. He has a dream, and that dream is a championship banner hanging from the rafters of this arena. Everything else, the penalties, the sacrificed Draft picks, the zero flexibility, that's just details. Damn details.
Matchday 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
81-114 (L)
And we're underway! Stephen Curry touches the ball first! This reliable star looks eager!
This big-name player Larry Bird throws up a prayer at the top of the key! Not answered!
Stephen Curry spins the pill right to the defense! Costly mistake by this world-class player!
Stephen Curry gets burned on the drive! Limited stamina in lateral movement!
Kobe Bryant can't mask the disappointment! This undisputed superstar wearing it on the sleeve!
Intermission. Kobe Bryant dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Fun fact: Kobe Bryant blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Son Goku with the off-balance scoop layup! This diamond in the rough couldn't set the feet!
Son Goku mops their face! Sweating more than when defending the feudal lord!
Jesus Christ, this swiss-army-knife type, gets called for the carry! Defense that's basically a suggestion in ball-handling!
Jesus Christ, this tweener, throws the hands up! Exasperated from way beyond the arc!
Jesus Christ walks off in defeat! Even a messiah's skills couldn't save tonight!
Stephen Curry has bags under his eyes that weren't there before the game. Kobe Bryant has aged ten years in forty minutes. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. We're done! And now: 'The Voice: Office Karaoke After Two Beers Edition.'
Matchday 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
125-80 (W)
Son Goku opens with a step-back three! This unknown gem making an early statement!
Son Goku hits the pull-up jumper! The elevation of a bushi lifting their katana blade!
Jesus Christ with the wraparound pass! Smooth hands from all that messiah work!
A devastating dunk from Larry Bird! This jersey-selling name is putting on a show tonight!
Stephen Curry, this tweener, blankets the shooter from way beyond the arc! No daylight!
Break! Jesus Christ grabs an ice bag and slaps it on his knee. Exclusive: Jesus Christ was caught reading a philosophy book on the bench. It was Nietzsche. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
This reliable star Larry Bird with a picture-perfect free throw! The crowd goes wild!
Kobe Bryant, this franchise cornerstone, wraps it up with a flourish! Total destruction!
Larry Bird, this long boy, gets tangled in the net! This elite player stuck!
This hungry young player Son Goku raises the arms in triumph! An ice-cold stare at the opposing bench! The crowd follows!
This global icon Kobe Bryant is all smiles! The stats back up the brilliance!
Kobe Bryant and Stephen Curry fake a wrestling match. Jesus Christ plays the referee and calls a timeout. During the third quarter, I spilled my soup. Yes, I had soup in the booth. Don't judge. Good evening! Up next: 'Fixer Upper: Renovating a Studio on a Twelve-Dollar Budget.' Challenge accepted.
Matchday 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
130-84 (W)
Son Goku announces themselves! The bushi has arrived and the building knows it!
Stephen Curry, this do-it-all player, takes over facing the rim. A floater! That's elite!
Jesus Christ, this versatile guy, hits the cutter perfectly! Night-in night-out consistency right on time!
Jesus Christ dunks past the defense for a catch-and-shoot triple! Size advantage from this this smooth operator!
Jesus Christ forces the bad shot! Their bare hands intimidation factor!
Off to the locker room. Kobe Bryant has already drained two water bottles. Rumor has it Kobe Bryant does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
A hook shot from Stephen Curry! This guy everybody knows reminding everyone why they're on top!
Son Goku and the garbage time lineup! This total unknown can rest easy!
Is Son Goku dribbling or defending the feudal lord? Hard to tell from here!
Son Goku does a victory lap! Lapping the court with bushi swagger!
Jesus Christ walks off the field house victorious! A messiah who conquered it all tonight!
Stephen Curry pretends to plant a flag at center court. Kobe Bryant stands at attention. Meanwhile, your favorite commentator spilled coffee on the mixing board. Twice. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Matchday 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
132-88 (W)
Stephen Curry explodes onto the floor! The crowd roars for this bonafide star!
Larry Bird, this top-tier talent, operates in the paint with a buzzer-beater! Clinic!
Larry Bird with the no-look pass! This franchise guy has eyes in the back of the head!
Larry Bird, this elite player, reads the play perfectly and delivers a reverse layup!
Larry Bird reads the play and picks off the pass! Transition opportunity!
Intermission. Kobe Bryant dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Little secret: Kobe Bryant has a secret TikTok account with 12 followers. Posts cooking tutorials. Alright, it's time. The second half waits for no one.
Son Goku, this versatile guy, overpowers for a free throw! Size matters!
Son Goku empties the bench! Everyone gets a shift, the bushi way!
Stephen Curry attacks and the rock goes into the stands! Free souvenir!
Son Goku pulls out the signature celebration! The crowd at the temple of basketball goes wild!
Kobe Bryant, this basketball god, soaks in the moment! Victory in the paint! A slide across the hardwood!
Jesus Christ and Stephen Curry attempt an elaborate handshake. They miss three times. Son Goku films the whole thing. Fun fact: my sound engineer fell asleep during the second quarter. I woke him with an elbow. Good evening! Now: 'Destination Unknown: The Roundabout in Scranton, PA.' Total adventure.
Matchday 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
117-88 (W)
Jesus Christ, this do-it-all player, takes the court! The Finals-like atmosphere is electric!
Stephen Curry buries a free throw off the pick and roll! This established star is on fire tonight!
This max-contract guy Stephen Curry forces the bad pass! Unreal swagger creating turnovers!
Jesus Christ whips the pass cross-court! Assist! This do-it-all player seeing everything!
Larry Bird lets fly into the right spacing! A killer instinct and elite court awareness!
Both teams head to the locker room. Stephen Curry wipes his forehead with his jersey. Locker room anecdote: Stephen Curry talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Kobe Bryant scores at will! A tear drop at the buzzer! This hall-of-fame lock domination!
A standing ovation as Kobe Bryant, this beanpole, is introduced! Goosebumps!
This guy with rings on every finger Kobe Bryant celebrates the teammate's score! It's about the team!
Son Goku has found another gear! This dude out of nowhere shifting into overdrive!
This all-time great Kobe Bryant wraps up a sensational performance! Victory is sweet!
Larry Bird and Kobe Bryant slap each other's butts. Jesus Christ declines the invitation. I learned tonight that Larry Bird used to be a messiah. That explains the unique running style. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Matchday 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
105-91 (W)
This once-in-a-lifetime player Kobe Bryant means business! Fast start from mid-range!
This max-contract guy Larry Bird with a cold-blooded devastating dunk! No conscience!
Stephen Curry slides to the passing lane and steals it! Nerves of steel!
Stephen Curry, this headliner, manipulates the defense and drops the dime! Ridiculous creativity!
Kobe Bryant fades away to the weak side! This guy with rings on every finger exploiting the rotation!
Break! Larry Bird rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. They say Larry Bird eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.
Kobe Bryant, this towering presence, posts up and delivers an and-one! Textbook!
Larry Bird rises up and the crowd chants the name! Listen to that noise!
Son Goku feeds the hot hand! Feeding the offense with bushi generosity!
This game belongs to Larry Bird! This reliable star stamping authority in the paint!
Jesus Christ salutes the fans! A messiah's farewell until the next game!
Kobe Bryant and Larry Bird lap the court arm in arm, singing. Off-key. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. We're out! And now, 'House Hunters: Broom Closet Edition.' Cozy open concept.
Matchday 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
121-98 (W)
Son Goku gets the starting nod! A bushi starting with their katana blade confidence!
Stephen Curry goes coast to coast for a fadeaway jumper! This jersey-selling name is relentless!
Stephen Curry with the suffocating defense! This max-contract guy is a wall out there!
Son Goku reads the defense like a book! Assist in the paint! Ridiculous creativity!
Jesus Christ, this franchise cornerstone, manipulates the defense with the eyes! Scary good handles!
Halftime. Larry Bird is holding his ribs walking toward the tunnel. Anecdote: Larry Bird once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. On to the next chapter. The court is just waiting for the ball.
Stephen Curry pulls up the pill with flair and hits an off-balance shot! Sensational!
This franchise guy Larry Bird acknowledges the fans! A Playoff atmosphere of mutual respect!
This multi-time All-Star Larry Bird unites the locker room! Insane court vision captain's mentality!
Kobe Bryant goes to work with elegance and power! This undisputed superstar is the complete package!
Larry Bird grabs the game ball! This bonafide star earned it tonight!
Stephen Curry and Larry Bird pretend to fish Jesus Christ out of the crowd. They pull hard. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. Thanks for being here. Now put down the remote, it's time for 'Wheel of Misfortune.'
Matchday 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
97-105 (L)
Jesus Christ takes the court to an electric crowd! The messiah with their bare hands is here!
Son Goku, this do-it-all player, wastes a golden chance with a wild scoop layup!
Son Goku dribbles it off their foot! Their katana blade would never betray a bushi like that!
Kobe Bryant lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this once-in-a-lifetime player fooled!
Son Goku knocks down a sky hook from the left corner! Ice in the veins!
Time to breathe. Stephen Curry has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Fun fact: Stephen Curry blocked a shot in the finals... And dislocated a thumb celebrating. Classic. Tipoff! The ball bounces, the arena vibrates, we're back.
Son Goku waves off the play! The authority of a bushi in that gesture!
Son Goku rattles it out! Shaking the gym with their katana blade intensity!
Larry Bird, this All-Star caliber talent, orchestrates the delay game! That dawg mentality in action!
Jesus Christ, this versatile guy, looks exhausted from the right corner! The legs are gone!
Larry Bird had the chances but couldn't convert. This reliable star left wanting.
Kobe Bryant rips off his headband and throws it on the ground. Jesus Christ picks up his own and folds it carefully. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Matchday 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
129-94 (W)
Kobe Bryant takes off with energy from the opening whistle! This absolute legend locked in!
Jesus Christ with the step-back fadeaway jumper! Creating space like a messiah with their bare hands!
Stephen Curry with the hockey assist! That extra pass, beautiful basketball!
Stephen Curry scores from the right corner! A bank shot with scary good handles! Brilliant!
Larry Bird, this certified bucket, pokes the damn ball free! Scramble under the basket!
End of the first act. Jesus Christ is puffing like a steam engine heading back. Anecdote: Jesus Christ lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. We resume. Eyes locked in, jaws clenched.
This hungry young player Son Goku punishes the defense with a step-back three back to the basket!
This global icon Jesus Christ shows no sympathy! A buzzer-beater extends the massacre!
Larry Bird shoots a full-court shot and almost makes it! This established star so close!
Son Goku with the finger wag! No, no, no, a bushi with their katana blade says no!
That's the game! Kobe Bryant finishes with a monster performance! This certified GOAT candidate victorious!
Larry Bird performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Jesus Christ imitates it. It's worse. I learned backstage that Jesus Christ also does messiah on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Off to bed! And now: 'Jeopardy: Cafeteria Trivia Edition.'
Matchday 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
108-90 (W)
Son Goku locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a bushi who means business!
Stephen Curry, this elite player, unleashes a buzzer beater driving to the hoop! Bang!
Son Goku slides the feet perfectly and forces a miss! An off-the-charts basketball IQ in every step!
Stephen Curry threads the needle! Beautiful assist from the left corner! Unreal court vision!
Kobe Bryant, this household name, times the cut perfectly! Backdoor for a tear drop!
Break! Kobe Bryant rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Did you know Kobe Bryant plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. We're back at it. The crowd had time to reload at the snack bar.
Kobe Bryant with the tough bucket through contact! This absolute legend won't be denied!
Larry Bird soaks in a sold-out gym on fire! This big-name player living for these moments!
Stephen Curry celebrates the team's success! This big-name player knows together is better!
This elite player Stephen Curry is living their best moment right now facing the rim!
This first-ballot legend Kobe Bryant walks off to a standing ovation! A sold-out gym on fire! Incredible!
Stephen Curry hits a dab in 2026. Jesus Christ does an ironic dab. Son Goku has no idea what that is. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Thanks! And now, 'Neighbors from Hell: The Community Compost Bin Saga.' Episode 1 of 74.
Matchday 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
94-99 (L)
Tip-off! Jesus Christ gets us started! Let's go!
Larry Bird, this tree of a man, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this top-tier talent!
Larry Bird passes to nobody! This max-contract guy with a head-scratching decision!
This franchise guy Larry Bird bites on the fake! Beaten from the left corner!
Kobe Bryant strings together a bank shot from way beyond the arc. Night-in night-out consistency on full display!
Cut! Halftime. Son Goku's jersey is completely drenched in sweat. Confession: Son Goku believes the away locker room is haunted. Refuses to go in alone. Play resumes! The coach set a few things straight in the locker room.
Jesus Christ drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a messiah's spirit has limits!
Son Goku, this swiss-army-knife type, gets the look back to the basket but the lid's on the rim!
Son Goku spins to the right spot! Eyes in the back of the head off-ball movement!
This bonafide star Larry Bird stumbles! The fatigue is real after the contest!
Stephen Curry reflects on what could have been. Limited stamina the difference tonight.
Stephen Curry takes off his shoes and carries them like a ghost. Son Goku follows the same path. I got a text from Stephen Curry after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. That's all for tonight. And now: 'Deadliest Catch: Rush Hour on the Beltway.' Documentary.
Matchday 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
122-102 (W)
Jesus Christ, this versatile guy, announced to huge cheers! A sold-out gym on fire!
A two-handed slam! Larry Bird cannot be stopped tonight! This top-tier talent is locked in!
This franchise cornerstone Kobe Bryant takes the charge at half court! Gutsy play!
This franchise guy Stephen Curry orchestrates the offense in the paint! Maestro!
Jesus Christ uses their size out there! The messiah has a built-in advantage!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Jesus Christ asks for an ice pack. Staff confession: Jesus Christ is afraid of pigeons. Not 7-foot centers, no. Pigeons. Both teams emerge from the tunnel. The second half can begin.
A scoop layup by Kobe Bryant! The crowd erupts! Night-in night-out consistency personified!
Larry Bird, this walking skyscraper, gets the standing ovation! An electric crowd!
Jesus Christ communicates on the switch! Clear as a messiah's directions!
The duality of Son Goku: bushi precision meets the leather artistry!
Stephen Curry, this elite player, with the post-game interview smile! Pure God-given talent all night!
Son Goku jumps into Larry Bird's arms without warning. They both go down. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
108-111 (L)
Jesus Christ steps onto the gymnasium! From competing the game to this, game time!
This reliable star Stephen Curry finishes with authority! A pull-up jumper facing the rim!
This global icon Jesus Christ misjudges the passing lane! Easy assist through!
An and-one from Kobe Bryant catches the back rim and pops out! So close!
Son Goku with the momentum-shifting play! The willpower of a bushi right there!
Break! Jesus Christ has left a puddle of sweat at every step through the tunnel. Rumor has it Jesus Christ has been wearing the same lucky underwear for three seasons. The medical staff is concerned. The arena lights up, the players are back. Game on.
Larry Bird misfires on the potential dagger! This multi-time All-Star lets them off the hook!
Son Goku throws their hands up! Like a bushi when their katana blade breaks!
Every bushi in the crowd sees themselves in Son Goku's battle with the rock!
Larry Bird with the ill-advised pass in the second quarter! Intercepted!
This generational talent Jesus Christ congratulates the opponent. Class in defeat from this generational talent.
Larry Bird claps his hands in frustration. Son Goku clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. Tonight my voice traveled three octaves. Baritone to soprano. Basketball does that to you. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Matchday 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
113-101 (W)
This jersey-selling name Stephen Curry in the starting lineup! Let's see what this jersey-selling name brings!
Stephen Curry, this versatile guy, glides in the paint for a silky double-clutch layup!
Larry Bird, this giant, erases the shot at the rim! Rim protector!
Son Goku sees the floor! The awareness of a bushi scanning the feudal lord!
Larry Bird reads the defense perfectly! That dawg mentality and a sky-high basketball IQ!
The players head to the locker room. Kobe Bryant is sweating like a racehorse. Anecdote: Kobe Bryant tried to impress the San Antonio Skyscrapers players with a warm-up dunk. Hit the rim. With his face. Both teams return. You can tell the coach gave them an earful.
Larry Bird crosses over to the rack for a free throw! Can't contain this big fella!
Standing room only! A sold-out gym on fire as Kobe Bryant takes over at the top of the key!
Larry Bird, this top-tier talent, picks up the fallen teammate! Pure God-given talent beyond the stats!
Son Goku, the bushi from the day shift, is writing their story on the temple of basketball tonight!
This big-name player Larry Bird thanks the fans! The crowd is on its feet! What a ride!
Stephen Curry blows a kiss to the camera. Son Goku blows twelve. Jesus Christ blocks the lens. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. See you at the next game! In the meantime: 'Pawn Stars: Selling a Pen Without a Cap.'
Matchday 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
102-100 (W)
Son Goku sets the tone early! The bushi came to play tonight!
Kobe Bryant, this tree of a man, locks down the attacker! Scary good handles on the defensive end!
A reverse layup from Son Goku goes in and out! Heartbreaking at the buzzer!
Stephen Curry, this elite player, with the exclamation-point layup! Game changer!
Jesus Christ, this versatile guy, exploits the mismatch at half court! Smart play!
Break. The coach is yelling in the tunnel, Stephen Curry picks up the pace. Fun fact: Stephen Curry is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back on the court. The crowd greets them with a standing ovation.
This multi-time All-Star Larry Bird drains the pressure shot! On the decisive possession! That's a superstar!
Son Goku stands firm! Not moving, this bushi is planted!
Jesus Christ throws the shorts to the crowd! Better than throwing the game!
Son Goku with the dagger layup! This unknown gem buries the opposition!
Son Goku has the last say! Final word from a bushi about the feudal lord!
Stephen Curry runs the full court high-fiving everyone. Jesus Christ follows doing the wave alone. During the game, my colleague ordered sushi. It arrived at the final buzzer. Perfect timing. That was beautiful. And now: 'House Hunters International: 90-Square-Foot Studio, Wall View.' A steal.
g.o.a.t.s ends the season #4 with a 11W-4L record. Season MVP: Stephen Curry.
Season Journal
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. Ladies and gentlemen... G.o.a.t.s!
Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Stephen Curry. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 188 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly.
What kills you about this guy is that he makes basketball look easy. You watch him and you think "well yeah, it's simple." And then you realize the defender in front of him is 6'9", runs a 4.4 forty, and he just dropped a step-back in his face like he was dribbling against a traffic cone at practice. It's not ease, it's absolute mastery disguised as nonchalance. And damn, is it beautiful to watch.
The chef's surprise of the evening is Son Goku. A bushi by profession. No, it's not a joke, it's an actual coaching staff decision. The GM nearly had a heart attack when he saw the signing, but the coach said: "Trust me, this guy can handle the feudal lord with surgical precision, imagine what he can do with a basketball." Spoiler: so far, not much. The man spent his first week confusing the free throw line with the sideline, and asked three times if tackling was allowed. But he's got a heart size of a watermelon, he runs around like an overexcited golden retriever, and damn it, the crowd absolutely loves him.
This team's budget is the GDP of a small country. Seriously, there are nations at the UN moving less cash than this roster. The Second Apron is blown to smithereens, the repeater tax bleeds the owner dry with every signature, and the league watches them with a mix of disgust and fascination. But the owner doesn't care. He has a dream, and that dream is a championship banner hanging from the rafters of this arena. Everything else, the penalties, the sacrificed Draft picks, the zero flexibility, that's just details. Damn details.
g.o.a.t.s ends the season #4 with a 11W-4L record. Season MVP: Stephen Curry.
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