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Chicago Bullsbasketball_team 🇬🇧

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Season Journal

Standings

#TeamWLPts
1Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest15030
2Detroit Engine-Roar12324
3San Antonio Skyscrapers11422
4Boston Ring-Chasers11422
5Minnesota Ice-Wall10520
6Cleveland Twin-Towers9618
7Houston Blast-Off8716
8New York Over-Timers8716
9Chicago Bulls7814
10Denver Horse-Track7814
11Toronto Border-Patrol6912
12Phoenix No-Defense51010
13Los Angeles Nursing-Home4118
14Miami Heart-Attack3126
15Orlando Magic-Beans2134
16Philadelphia Injury-Report2134

Pre-season

Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Chicago Bulls! If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Victor Wembanyama. Standing at 224 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball. You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Diana, Princess of Wales. A philanthropist. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a philanthropist, with bare hands, on an NBA hardwood. The girl showed up at her first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Diana, Princess of Wales has "something." We don't know what exactly, but she has "something." In the meantime, the girl runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the game with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. Financially, this team is operating in another dimension. The salary cap? Never heard of it. The luxury tax? Paid with a smile. The owner sold two of his yachts to fund this roster and he'd do it again tomorrow morning. Every player on this bench earns more in a week than most people do in a year, and not a single one of them is here to ride the pine. This is a team built to win NOW. Not tomorrow, not next season. Tonight.

Matchday 1vs Detroit Engine-Roar

111-110 (W)

Donald Trump, this absolute legend, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!

Diana, Princess of Wales swats it away! A flawless defensive rotation with that philanthropist strength!

This all-time great Diana, Princess of Wales misfires again! Sometimes predictable game could cost the team!

This dude out of nowhere Greifenhagen with a cold-blooded bank shot! No conscience!

Victor Wembanyama lets fly to the right spot! That dawg mentality off-ball movement!

Break! Ben Simmons rips his shoes off the second he reaches the locker room. Anecdote: Ben Simmons once wore his jersey inside out for the entire first quarter. Nobody dared say anything. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.

Ben Simmons with the dagger buzzer-beater! This established player buries the opposition!

Victor Wembanyama, this oversized freak, smothers the ball-handler! No options!

Victor Wembanyama goes to work in front of the home faithful! A packed arena! Beautiful!

This hooper's hooper Ben Simmons answers back immediately! A hook shot off the pick and roll! Resilient!

Donald Trump exits to a standing ovation! The film producer with their loaded checkbook earns it!

Diana, Princess of Wales and Ben Simmons form a tunnel for Greifenhagen to crawl through. Too tall. Gets stuck. I learned that Diana, Princess of Wales's father was a film producer. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'

Matchday 2vs Miami Heart-Attack

104-98 (W)

The game begins and Ben Simmons is ready! You can see ridiculous creativity written all over his face!

This solid pro Ben Simmons converts in the paint! A bank shot right on cue!

Donald Trump with a double team! The reflexes of a film producer catching the risky picture!

Victor Wembanyama with the alley-oop pass! This titan throws it up, teammate throws it down!

Donald Trump executes a dominant inside game perfectly! Precision learned as a film producer!

Halftime! Donald Trump checks his stats on the board and winces. Fun fact: Donald Trump got rejected at a casting for a deodorant commercial. The irony. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.

Victor Wembanyama, this league veteran, threads the needle for a euro-step from mid-range!

Diana, Princess of Wales throws the jersey to the crowd! Better than throwing the game!

Greifenhagen shoots the pick-and-roll to perfection! Chemistry on display!

Ben Simmons is the protagonist tonight! This up-and-coming baller authoring a masterpiece!

Ben Simmons, this long boy, carries the team to victory! MVP-level performance!

Greifenhagen makes a heart with his hands toward the camera. Ben Simmons makes a bigger heart. Donald Trump makes a massive heart. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Thanks for the game! And now, tonight's feature film: 'Fast and Furious 47: The Quest for a Parking Spot.'

Matchday 3vs Orlando Magic-Beans

120-97 (W)

Ben Simmons opens with a floater! This respected competitor making an early statement!

This guy with a proven track record Victor Wembanyama with a beautiful pull-up jumper on the low block! Poetry in motion!

This player nobody saw coming Greifenhagen comes up with a massive steal! Transition time!

Victor Wembanyama with the no-look pass! This respected competitor has eyes in the back of the head!

This surprise package Greifenhagen recognizes the over-help and punishes it!

Break! Greifenhagen takes his jersey off before even reaching the locker room. Rumor has it Greifenhagen does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. We're back! The coach drew stuff on the whiteboard, let's see if it works.

An off-balance shot from Ben Simmons! This respected competitor just keeps delivering!

The energy in this building is unreal! Ben Simmons channeling a boiling cauldron!

Diana, Princess of Wales glues the team together! Team-first mentality, pure philanthropist instinct!

Greifenhagen leaves it all on the floor! This total unknown with iron discipline effort!

Victor Wembanyama pulls up the trophy! This player making noise adds to the collection! A salute to the fans!

Victor Wembanyama performs an absolutely ridiculous victory dance. Donald Trump imitates it. It's worse. I learned tonight that Victor Wembanyama used to be a film producer. That explains the unique running style. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.

Matchday 4vs Philadelphia Injury-Report

132-91 (W)

Diana, Princess of Wales, this do-it-all player, is introduced and the arena explodes! This potential GOAT is in the building!

Ben Simmons pulls up and drills a thunderous slam! Can't teach that!

Greifenhagen with the touch pass! This dude out of nowhere barely had the basketball and found the man!

Victor Wembanyama, this seasoned vet, drops a layup from the left corner! Pure artistry!

Diana, Princess of Wales contests every shot! Relentless as a philanthropist with the game!

Break. Greifenhagen asks the medical staff for coffee. Request denied. Did you know Greifenhagen knits to unwind? Made a scarf in Philadelphia Injury-Report's colors. By accident, obviously. Resumption imminent. The players wrap up their express warm-up.

Diana, Princess of Wales rises and fires! Competing the game never felt this athletic!

This guy with a proven track record Ben Simmons puts the exclamation point! A two-handed slam under the basket!

Ben Simmons trips over the damn ball! Even this hooper's hooper has those moments!

Diana, Princess of Wales points to the sky after a buzzer-beater! This first-ballot legend in the zone!

This well-respected player Ben Simmons seals the deal! Victory with silky smooth technique!

Victor Wembanyama does the robot at center court while Ben Simmons pretends to be an airplane. The crowd loves it. Your commentator broke his personal screaming record tonight. My throat is not thanking me. See you tomorrow! Up next: 'Extreme Reading: The Terms and Conditions.' 4-hour special.

Matchday 5vs Phoenix No-Defense

109-85 (W)

This once-in-a-lifetime player Donald Trump gets the crowd going early! The energy is building!

Donald Trump hits nothing but net! Pure as a film producer's work with their loaded checkbook!

Victor Wembanyama forces the step-out-of-bounds! This next-level player hawking the ball!

Greifenhagen, this total unknown, dishes to the hot hand! Smart basketball!

This player on the come-up Ben Simmons uses the floater over this absolute unit coverage! Smart!

Time to breathe. Diana, Princess of Wales has both hands on both knees, completely cooked. Little secret: Diana, Princess of Wales listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.

Greifenhagen, this combo guard, takes over in transition. A tear drop! That's elite!

The crowd is on its feet! A roaring arena as Victor Wembanyama takes the court!

Greifenhagen finds the open teammate! This surprise package making everyone better!

Victor Wembanyama rises up through pain, through doubt! This dude putting the league on notice transcending!

Diana, Princess of Wales signs off with a step-back three! The philanthropist's final the game of the night!

Donald Trump, Ben Simmons, and Diana, Princess of Wales pose for a group photo at center court. Nobody has a phone. As for me, I powered through three coffees and a gas station sandwich. The glamorous life of sports journalism. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.

Matchday 6vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home

115-105 (W)

Donald Trump starts in the franchise player! Playing the franchise player the way a film producer plays with their loaded checkbook!

Victor Wembanyama, this giant, dominates from downtown and puts up a scoop layup! Unstoppable!

Donald Trump with the strip! Snatched the basketball clean, that's a film producer with quick hands!

Diana, Princess of Wales sees the floor! The awareness of a philanthropist scanning the game!

Victor Wembanyama attacks into the right spacing! Freakish explosiveness and elite court awareness!

Rest. Greifenhagen buries his head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Did you know? Greifenhagen has a personal mini-fridge in the locker room. Nobody knows what's inside. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.

Victor Wembanyama, this mountain of a man, elevates for a monster alley-oop!

The arena trembles! Greifenhagen with the play and an incredible energy follows!

Diana, Princess of Wales trusts the system! Trust of a philanthropist trusting their bare hands!

Greifenhagen, this combo guard, is on a mission! Nothing can stop this dark horse right now!

Donald Trump shares the credit! Team player on and off the court!

Ben Simmons and Greifenhagen stare at each other in silence for five seconds. Then burst out laughing at the exact same time. I learned backstage that Greifenhagen also does film producer on weekends. That explains those reflexes. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.

Matchday 7vs Toronto Border-Patrol

106-108 (L)

Donald Trump locks eyes with the opponent! The stare of a film producer who means business!

Donald Trump pops the jumper! Clean as their loaded checkbook after a polish!

Ben Simmons, this absolute unit, fouls unnecessarily on the low block! Ego the size of Texas!

A euro-step by Ben Simmons from way beyond the arc is way off! Tough night for this solid pro!

Greifenhagen, this versatile guy, drills the momentum shot! The building believes!

Halftime. Donald Trump's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. They say Donald Trump eats honey straight from the jar during timeouts. The bear of the hardwood. The buzzer calls the players. Time for the show, act II.

Ben Simmons, this well-respected player, misses the potential game-winner! Lack of consistency!

Greifenhagen dunks angrily after the turnover! This diamond in the rough spiraling!

Diana, Princess of Wales's transformation from philanthropist to athlete is this clash of styles's best story!

Donald Trump, this tweener, gets blocked in the clutch! A crucial offensive board denies this guy with rings on every finger!

Donald Trump shakes hands through the pain! A film producer who respects their loaded checkbook and the game!

Donald Trump sits on the floor in the hallway. Diana, Princess of Wales sits down next to him. Nobody speaks. My evening in summary: yell, drink coffee, yell again, spill the coffee, yell some more. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'

Matchday 8vs Minnesota Ice-Wall

108-109 (L)

Diana, Princess of Wales takes the court to a cathedral silence! The philanthropist with their bare hands is here!

Victor Wembanyama, this giant, showcases an unmatched feel for the game with a gorgeous hook shot!

This raw talent Greifenhagen gives up the offensive rebound! Injury-prone body when boxing out!

Victor Wembanyama fires a step-back three off the pick and roll but can't connect! Ego the size of Texas showing!

This league veteran Victor Wembanyama ties the game! What a comeback! Unreal swagger at its peak!

Break. Diana, Princess of Wales's socks are soaking wet — quick change on the spot. Confession: Diana, Princess of Wales calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. We're back! The players look fired up.

This guy with a proven track record Ben Simmons with the clutch-time breakdown! Tendency to rush on full display!

This absolute legend Diana, Princess of Wales stares at the ref! That look could freeze water!

Win or lose, Victor Wembanyama has earned respect tonight! This respected competitor warrior spirit!

Victor Wembanyama misses the wide-open look at the last second! This solid pro will regret that!

Greifenhagen reflects on what could have been. Limited stamina the difference tonight.

Donald Trump sits on the bench, staring into nothing. Victor Wembanyama has his head in his hands. Tonight I nearly had a heart attack at least four times. And I'm just the commentator. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.

Matchday 9vs Houston Blast-Off

84-107 (L)

Diana, Princess of Wales, this combo guard, takes the court! The incredible energy is electric!

Ben Simmons launches a tear drop and... Airball! Shaky emotions under pressure at its peak!

Donald Trump coughs up the Spalding! Sometimes predictable game strikes again in transition!

Victor Wembanyama lunges the wrong direction! Fake had this next-level player fooled!

Donald Trump scores again! When you're a film producer by trade, the ball is child's play!

End of the second quarter. Diana, Princess of Wales is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. Confession: Diana, Princess of Wales calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. Here they come. You can read the determination on their faces.

Donald Trump kicks the air! The frustration of a film producer who knows they can do better!

Victor Wembanyama blows past but it's well off! Lack of consistency under fatigue!

This established player Ben Simmons attacks the closeout! Driving past the over-eager defender!

This undisputed superstar Diana, Princess of Wales signals to the bench! Needs a blow! Injury-prone body!

This next-level player Victor Wembanyama stares at the scoreboard. Not the outcome this next-level player wanted.

Greifenhagen's eyes are glassy. Victor Wembanyama mumbles 'we'll get them next time' without believing it. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Good night everyone! Coming up: 'Boot Camp: Supermarket Checkout Line Edition.' Discipline.

Matchday 10vs Denver Horse-Track

93-101 (L)

Diana, Princess of Wales steps back into position! This living legend not wasting any time!

Donald Trump fires and misses from downtown. Should have stuck with the risky picture!

This hooper's hooper Ben Simmons dribbles off the foot! Unforced error!

Diana, Princess of Wales caught flat-footed! Standing still, the philanthropist reflexes took a nap!

Diana, Princess of Wales with the and-one hook shot! An unmatched feel for the game through the whistle!

Rest. Diana, Princess of Wales buries her head in a wet towel and doesn't move. Exclusive info: Diana, Princess of Wales is banned for life from the McDonald's near the arena. The details remain murky. Back on the floor, faces full of determination.

Ben Simmons, this dude putting the league on notice, with the frustrated foul! Sometimes predictable game in tough moments!

Ben Simmons with the contested tear drop under the basket! No good! Bad selection!

Donald Trump identifies the soft spot in the zone! This absolute legend surgical precision!

Diana, Princess of Wales powers through! The philanthropist in them won't quit on the game!

Donald Trump, this living legend, will be back stronger. This defeat fuels the fire.

Diana, Princess of Wales pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Greifenhagen takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. I spent the evening looking for a stat that couldn't be found. It didn't exist. I made one up. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.

Matchday 11vs New York Over-Timers

98-104 (L)

Donald Trump checks in for the first play! Clocking in for the shift, let's work!

Greifenhagen gets a clean look but defense that's basically a suggestion costs the bucket!

Intercepted! Donald Trump's pass snatched right out of the air! A film producer would never be that careless!

Diana, Princess of Wales gets screened out! Stuck behind their bare hands like it's a wall!

A double-clutch layup from Victor Wembanyama! Another dagger! This up-and-coming baller closing the door!

Halftime! Greifenhagen has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Rumor has it Greifenhagen does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. We're off again! The crowd chants the team's name.

This established player Victor Wembanyama shakes the head in disbelief! Nothing going right!

Ben Simmons forces a bad step-back three! This seasoned vet needs to trust teammates!

This hidden prospect Greifenhagen calls the audible! Changed the play and it works!

Greifenhagen is gassed! This total unknown bent over at half court! Limited stamina catching up!

Greifenhagen had the chances but couldn't convert. This unknown gem left wanting.

Donald Trump lets out a big exhale walking through the door. Diana, Princess of Wales holds her in. Tonight I chewed through two pens. The office supply budget is going to explode. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.

Matchday 12vs Cleveland Twin-Towers

91-105 (L)

Victor Wembanyama, this seasoned vet, draws first blood! A step-back three to start!

Greifenhagen takes a tough step-back three and it doesn't go! Heavy feet in shot selection!

This seasoned vet Ben Simmons with turnover number points! Defense that's basically a suggestion is piling up!

Ben Simmons, this absolute unit, gets blown by on the perimeter! Ego the size of Texas in the legs!

Donald Trump with an alley-oop on the break! Running like they're late for work!

Buzzer sounds, halftime! Victor Wembanyama walks head down toward the tunnel. Anecdote: Victor Wembanyama lost a bet and had to wear the center's shoes during warm-ups. Size 16. Back for the second half. The coach slammed his fist on the table.

Greifenhagen, this potential breakout star, barks at the teammate! Injury-prone body taking over!

Diana, Princess of Wales off the back iron! Hard miss, even a philanthropist cringes at that!

Greifenhagen drives to the weak side! This dude out of nowhere exploiting the rotation!

Greifenhagen, this raw talent, with the tired turnover! Legs and mind fatigued!

Ben Simmons, this beanpole, hangs the head. Tough loss despite freakish explosiveness effort.

Greifenhagen clenches his left fist, unclenches, clenches again. Diana, Princess of Wales fidgets with her wristband nervously. During the break, I tried doing crunches behind the console. My back remembers. That's a wrap! And now, the network's masterpiece: 'My Cat, My Battle.' Don't miss the finale.

Matchday 13vs Boston Ring-Chasers

118-100 (W)

And we're underway! Victor Wembanyama touches the leather first! This seasoned vet looks eager!

Victor Wembanyama lets fly the pill beautifully for a layup! What touch!

Donald Trump blankets the shooter! Covering them with their loaded checkbook thoroughness!

Greifenhagen goes to work and finds the trailer for a step-back three! Great awareness!

Victor Wembanyama, this oversized freak, posts up the smaller defender! Mismatch hunting!

That's a wrap for now. Diana, Princess of Wales dives into the tunnel. Locker room anecdote: Diana, Princess of Wales talks to a sock called 'Assistant Coach.' We don't judge. Here they come. Fresh as daisies. Or not. We'll find out soon enough.

Donald Trump shoots and scores! Those film producer hands work wonders with the pill!

This legit talent Ben Simmons draws the MVP chants! The crowd is on their feet for the star!

Ben Simmons celebrates the team's success! This well-respected player knows together is better!

Greifenhagen, this surprise package, has been building to this all game! On the decisive possession!

Greifenhagen daps up the opponent! Respect from this diamond in the rough after the battle!

Donald Trump, Ben Simmons, and Greifenhagen pose for a group photo at center court. Nobody has a phone. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's all for today. Up next: 'Dateline: The True Cost of a Cup of Yogurt.' Deep investigation.

Matchday 14vs San Antonio Skyscrapers

91-101 (L)

Greifenhagen fires up the crowd to open the game! This dark horse starting strong!

This name that's buzzing Victor Wembanyama whiffs on a floater! The crowd groans!

Greifenhagen dunks the leather right to the defense! Costly mistake by this player nobody saw coming!

Ben Simmons, this giant, can't keep up with the speed! Tendency to rush exposed!

Diana, Princess of Wales with the highlight-reel alley-oop! This living legend owning the moment!

The players file out. Donald Trump exchanges a tense look with the coach. Little secret: Donald Trump listens to Celine Dion to focus. I repeat, Celine Dion. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.

Ben Simmons storms to the bench! This seasoned vet is visibly upset!

Brick! Victor Wembanyama misfires from the left corner! Sometimes predictable game at the worst time!

This potential GOAT Donald Trump adjusts the angle mid-drive! Unreal swagger body control!

Diana, Princess of Wales, this absolute legend, is dragging! The contest minutes taking their toll!

Greifenhagen walks off in silence. This raw talent gave it all but it wasn't enough.

Donald Trump walks like someone carrying the weight of the world. Ben Simmons drags one foot after the other. Your commentator survived one game, four coffees, and a sandwich of questionable date. We're signing off. And now: 'Musical Chairs: Subway Seat Edition.' Winner takes all.

Matchday 15vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest

105-106 (L)

Opening possession for Diana, Princess of Wales! First touch, like first touch of their bare hands!

Ben Simmons goes coast to coast for a thunderous slam! This player making noise is relentless!

Donald Trump left in the dust! Even a film producer moves faster than that!

Diana, Princess of Wales misses! Even a philanthropist can't fix that shot!

Greifenhagen takes the lead! A step-back three! The comeback is complete! Unbelievable!

Halftime. The physio pounces on Diana, Princess of Wales to massage her thighs. Intel: Diana, Princess of Wales refuses to play if the ball isn't inflated to exactly 8 PSI. Not 7.9, not 8.1. Eight. We're back! Flushed cheeks and hungry eyes on the players.

Diana, Princess of Wales, this first-ballot legend, commits the late turnover! Tendency to rush with the ball!

Diana, Princess of Wales slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a philanthropist hits the workbench!

This solid pro Victor Wembanyama plays every possession like the last! Eyes in the back of the head burning bright!

Donald Trump, this smooth operator, rattles out the free throw! Occasional mental lapses getting the best of this hall-of-fame lock!

Victor Wembanyama steps back to the tunnel in disappointment. This league veteran will learn from this.

Ben Simmons bites the inside of his cheek. Donald Trump pinches the bridge of his nose. I tried taking notes during the game. My notebook is full of incomprehensible scribbles. Good night! And now, 'The Bachelor: Stray Cat Edition.' Who will find love in this dumpster?

Chicago Bulls ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.

🏀
#9
Rank
7W-8L
Record
+58
+/-
355
Team Score
109.9M$
Salary
Victor Wembanyama
MVP

Season Journal

Shut the hell up for two seconds and listen to that sound. That low rumble, that murmur of 20,000 people holding their breath at the same time. That's the sound of an arena that knows tonight is going to be something. We're here for a franchise that's in the DNA of this league, a club with as many banners in the rafters as ghosts in the locker room. Legends have walked this court, careers have been shattered here, and miracles have been born on this very floor. Tonight, we write the next chapter. Ladies and gentlemen... Chicago Bulls!

If you paid for your ticket tonight, there's one reason and one reason only, and that reason's name is Victor Wembanyama. Standing at 224 cm, marathon-runner cardio, and surgeon's hands. This man catches a ball mid-flight the way you grab the remote off the couch. Except he follows it up with a spin move, a step-back, and a 30-footer that doesn't even touch the rim. Nothing but net. Every single time. Like the basket is magnetized to the damn ball.

You want to know the difference between a good player and a damn franchise player? It's the fourth quarter. When the legs are burning, when the lungs are begging for mercy, when the scoreboard is taunting you with a tight score, that's when he lights up. Like a diesel engine finally hitting its temperature. The first three quarters are the warm-up. The fourth quarter is his hunting ground. And the prey? It's the teams that thought they had a chance.

And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Diana, Princess of Wales. A philanthropist. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a philanthropist, with bare hands, on an NBA hardwood. The girl showed up at her first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Diana, Princess of Wales has "something." We don't know what exactly, but she has "something." In the meantime, the girl runs around like a headless chicken, confuses the game with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee.

Financially, this team is operating in another dimension. The salary cap? Never heard of it. The luxury tax? Paid with a smile. The owner sold two of his yachts to fund this roster and he'd do it again tomorrow morning. Every player on this bench earns more in a week than most people do in a year, and not a single one of them is here to ride the pine. This is a team built to win NOW. Not tomorrow, not next season. Tonight.

🏆

Chicago Bulls ends the season #9 with a 7W-8L record. Season MVP: Victor Wembanyama.

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