Meine Traum-Starting-Five — basketball_team 🇩🇪
5 Mitglieder · TeamBranch
Saisontagebuch
Tabelle
| # | Team | S | N | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Detroit Engine-Roar | 14 | 1 | 28 |
| 2 | Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 3 | Denver Horse-Track | 12 | 3 | 24 |
| 4 | San Antonio Skyscrapers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 5 | Boston Ring-Chasers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 6 | Cleveland Twin-Towers | 11 | 4 | 22 |
| 7 | New York Over-Timers | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 8 | Los Angeles Nursing-Home | 8 | 7 | 16 |
| 9 | Minnesota Ice-Wall | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 10 | Orlando Magic-Beans | 6 | 9 | 12 |
| 11 | Houston Blast-Off | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 12 | Toronto Border-Patrol | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 13 | Philadelphia Injury-Report | 5 | 10 | 10 |
| 14 | Phoenix No-Defense | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 15 | Miami Heart-Attack | 3 | 12 | 6 |
| 16 | My Team | 0 | 15 | 0 |
Vorsaison
Get comfortable because tonight, we are about to witness something special. I can feel it. It's in the air, it's in the eyes, it's in the low rumble of 20,000 people who know they're about to live through a moment. The franchise about to step onto this court has seen it all, lived it all: legendary triple-doubles, buzzer-beating heartbreaks, 15-point fourth-quarter comebacks, and losses that shatter careers. But they're here, still and always, with that burning desire to tear everything apart. The team with no name, baby! Okay, we need to talk about the monster. Because there are players, and then there's Paul George. It's not the same category, it's not even the same damn sport. Standing at 203 cm, with footwork like a ballet dancer and a jumper purer than spring water. The kind of guy who drops 35 in three quarters, sits down on the bench in the fourth because he's bored, and pulls out his phone to check his stats on the Jumbotron. He's not a player, he's a statistical anomaly. His teammate told me something last week that gave me chills. He said: "When he's silent in the locker room before a game, I know we're about to destroy everybody." The man doesn't talk, he executes. He doesn't celebrate, he absorbs. And when the buzzer is approaching and the score is tight, everybody knows. The teammates, the opponents, the refs, the guy selling nachos on the upper deck. Everybody knows the ball is ending up in his hands. And it's ending up in the basket. And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the cherry on top, the plot twist nobody saw coming: the coach recruited Dschingis Khan. A feldherr. To play professional basketball. I'll repeat for the people in the back: a feldherr, with Kampfstandarte, on an NBA hardwood. The guy showed up at his first practice asking where the locker rooms were... And went the wrong way. Twice. But the coach swears on everything holy that Dschingis Khan has "something." We don't know what exactly, but he has "something." In the meantime, the guy runs around like a headless chicken, confuses die Kriegsfront with the basketball, and has already racked up three technical fouls for trying to negotiate with the referee. Financially, we're in no man's land. Not poor, not rich. The kind of team that eyes the trade deadline with longing but knows it can only afford the appetizer, not the full meal. They've built a solid core through smart Draft picks and savvy free agent signings, but don't ask them to compete with the big dogs. Their weapon? Chemistry. And a coach who turns lead into gold. Well, bronze. Okay, silver on a good day.
Spieltag 1 — vs Detroit Engine-Roar
80-124 (N)
Donald Trump steps onto the temple of basketball! From finanzierenning the das nächste Venture to this, game time!
Dschingis Khan misses the open look! A feldherr never misses the die Kriegsfront... But misses the pill!
Jesus Christus coughs it up! A messias's grip doesn't work on the pill!
Dschingis Khan gives up the easy bucket! Easier than versammelning the die Kriegsfront!
Jesus Christus, this global icon, barks at the teammate! Lack of consistency taking over!
The players disappear into the tunnel. Jesus Christus asks for an ice pack. Confession: Jesus Christus calls mom after every loss. And every win. And also on Tuesdays. The players charge out of the tunnel. Smells like a comeback.
Paul George with a wild attempt! This well-respected player not finding the range tonight!
Donald Trump plays through exhaustion! The endurance of finanzierenning the das nächste Venture daily!
Shikamaru Nara double-dribbles! Competing the game doesn't have that rule!
Paul George gets a technical for complaining! Shaky emotions under pressure on full display!
Donald Trump reflects on what could have been. Limited stamina the difference tonight.
Shikamaru Nara pushes away the reporter's microphone with a gesture. Dschingis Khan takes the interview and says 'not tonight'. Your commentator lost his press badge during the game. I had to climb over a barrier. Good evening! Coming up: 'Dancing with the Stars: My Cousin's Wedding Edition.' Open bar.
Spieltag 2 — vs Miami Heart-Attack
96-100 (N)
Shikamaru Nara huddles with the team! Huddling up, the fiktiver ninja strategizes!
Shikamaru Nara attacks past the defense for a double-clutch layup! Size advantage from this this smooth operator!
Dschingis Khan gets back-doored! Didn't see it, like not seeing the die Kriegsfront behind the Kampfstandarte!
Paul George, this player making noise, can't convert the fast break! Wasted opportunity!
Paul George hits another! This hooper's hooper on a personal run from the left corner!
End of the second quarter. Jesus Christus is breathing so loud you can hear it from here. They say Jesus Christus has a ritual where he touches the basket post three times. If someone watches, starts over. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Jesus Christus misses both free throws! A messias failing the game inspection, twice!
Donald Trump slaps the floor in frustration! Slapping harder than a kapitalanleger hits the workbench!
A narrative for the ages: Dschingis Khan, the feldherr who mastered the Kampfstandarte and the pill!
Dschingis Khan explodes and bricks it! Defense that's basically a suggestion in the third quarter!
Shikamaru Nara leaves the palace of hoops with dignity! The dignity of a fiktiver ninja with their bare hands!
Dschingis Khan walks toward the tunnel without a word. Donald Trump stares at the scoreboard as if it might change. I spent this game nervously chewing gum. I'm on my seventh piece. Thanks for tonight. Up next: 'American Ninja Warrior: No Elevator Edition.' Sixth floor, no landing.
Spieltag 3 — vs Orlando Magic-Beans
93-97 (N)
This absolute legend Dschingis Khan catches the orange early and goes to work! Opening salvo!
Donald Trump steps back and scores! Those kapitalanleger hands work wonders with the Wilson!
Jesus Christus gets crossed over! Ankles broken like the game on a rough day!
Jesus Christus can't convert the open shot! Competing the game is way easier!
Donald Trump with back-to-back scores! The kapitalanleger assembly line of the ihr Portfolio-Hauptbuch!
Halftime! Paul George looks in the mirror and shakes his head. I've been told Paul George once ordered a pizza during a timeout. The coach was not amused. Both teams retake the hardwood. Everything is still up for grabs.
Jesus Christus turns it over in the money time! Worst time to drop the Spalding!
Jesus Christus, this all-around player, waves off the play call! Tendency to force bad shots hurting the team!
Watch Jesus Christus move! The footwork of a messias navigating the game!
Paul George with the ill-advised pass in the closing moments! Intercepted!
Dschingis Khan packs up and heads out! Packing the Kampfstandarte, unpacking emotions!
Shikamaru Nara sits down on the hardwood, head on his knees. Jesus Christus puts a hand on his shoulder without saying a word. I got a text from Shikamaru Nara after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Spieltag 4 — vs Philadelphia Injury-Report
99-101 (N)
This undisputed superstar Jesus Christus in the starting lineup! Let's see what this undisputed superstar brings!
Donald Trump banks it in from the right corner! A kapitalanleger's steady hand at work!
Shikamaru Nara loses their assignment! Like losing their bare hands in the workshop!
Donald Trump gets a clean look but shaky emotions under pressure costs the bucket!
Paul George hits in the paint! The crowd is back in it! Game on!
Finally a breather. Donald Trump has calf cramps, the physio rushes over. Did you know Donald Trump entered the dunk contest... At 5'9"? Courage knows no height. Back on the hardwood. The tension has gone up a notch.
Shikamaru Nara, this do-it-all player, gets blocked in the clutch! An iron-wall defense denies this established player!
Donald Trump glares at the damn ball! Like it personally betrayed this kapitalanleger!
Scouts overlooked a feldherr. They won't overlook Dschingis Khan after tonight's the Kampfstandarte show!
Jesus Christus turns it over on the inbound pass! This franchise cornerstone crumbles under pressure!
Paul George walks off in silence. This name that's buzzing gave it all but it wasn't enough.
Dschingis Khan chews his nails on the bench. Paul George stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Tonight I learned Dschingis Khan used to be a fiktiver ninja before basketball. Found out during a timeout. Threw me off completely. Off to bed! Or stay for 'Real Housewives of the DMV.' The line is around the block.
Spieltag 5 — vs Phoenix No-Defense
98-116 (N)
Dschingis Khan, this basketball god, wins the opening tip! Great start for the team!
Dschingis Khan misfires at the buzzer! This absolute legend searching for answers!
Jesus Christus botches the handoff! Even their bare hands exchanges go smoother!
Dschingis Khan gets blown by! Even a feldherr couldn't stop that!
Donald Trump rises and fires! Finanzierenning the das nächste Venture never felt this athletic!
Halftime! Donald Trump has the hardwood pattern imprinted on his elbow. Intel: Donald Trump asked Phoenix No-Defense for their energy drink recipe. They refused. The players are back. The court had time to dry, at least.
Paul George, this oversized freak, shows negative body language! Hot head creeping in!
Shikamaru Nara misses! Even a fiktiver ninja can't fix that shot!
Paul George pushes the pace in transition! Nerves of steel showing in every play!
Paul George is gassed! This next-level player bent over at half court! Lack of consistency catching up!
Shikamaru Nara tips the cap to the winners! The fiktiver ninja's grace with the game!
Dschingis Khan presses his forehead against the tunnel glass. Paul George walks right past without noticing. Did you know that Paul George practices fiktiver ninja on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Thanks for tonight. And now: '60 Minutes: The Secrets of the Office Coffee Machine.'
Spieltag 6 — vs Los Angeles Nursing-Home
95-105 (N)
Dschingis Khan takes the floor with that look in his eyes! He came to play tonight!
Paul George, this tower, double-clutches and misses! Indecision from this up-and-coming baller!
Paul George with the lazy pass! Tendency to rush leading to easy points!
Dschingis Khan gets posted up and scored on! This absolute legend overpowered!
Shikamaru Nara takes off the basketball with purpose! A pull-up jumper! This solid pro means business!
Intermission. Donald Trump dumps an entire water bottle over his head. Fun fact: Donald Trump is unbeatable at arm wrestling in the locker room. Even the center is scared. Back to business. The players bounce around to warm up.
Dschingis Khan walks away muttering! Muttering about the die Kriegsfront under their breath!
This well-respected player Paul George whiffs on a pull-up jumper! The crowd groans!
Shikamaru Nara, this smooth operator, seals the defender for position! Fundamentals!
Paul George grabs the shorts! This respected competitor is running on fumes!
Shikamaru Nara vows to come back stronger! Stronger than their bare hands reinforced with the game!
Shikamaru Nara refuses to watch the replay on the jumbotron. Jesus Christus watches it and immediately regrets it. My wife texted me: 'when are you coming home?' I said 'after the game.' That was two hours ago. Good night everyone! And now, the show nobody asked for: 'Pigeon Hunters.'
Spieltag 7 — vs Toronto Border-Patrol
108-111 (N)
Dschingis Khan sets the tone early! The feldherr came to play tonight!
Jesus Christus with a finger roll! The finesse of their bare hands right there on the gymnasium!
Paul George, this mountain of a man, can't keep up with the speed! Heavy feet exposed!
A two-handed slam from Shikamaru Nara sails wide! This player on the come-up needs to regroup!
Dschingis Khan, this all-time great, with the gutsy play! Clawing back one possession at a time!
Halftime. The doctor examines Paul George's shoulder while the others catch their breath. I've been told Paul George always puts his left shoe on first. The one day he switched, gave up 40 points. Tipoff! The ref blows the whistle, the ball is in the air.
Donald Trump bricks it when it matters! The ihr Portfolio-Hauptbuch accuracy went home early!
Donald Trump drops their shoulders! Deflated, even a kapitalanleger's spirit has limits!
The narrative shifts! Paul George takes control with an off-the-charts basketball IQ!
Paul George, this towering presence, chokes on the big stage! During crunch time miss!
Dschingis Khan gave it everything! Everything a feldherr has, left on the court!
Dschingis Khan chews his nails on the bench. Paul George stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. Did you know that Paul George practices fiktiver ninja on Tuesdays? Builds character, that does. Thanks everyone. Up next: 'Survivor: Open-Plan Office.' Whoever makes it through the 5 PM meeting wins.
Spieltag 8 — vs Minnesota Ice-Wall
88-127 (N)
The game begins and Dschingis Khan is ready! You can see scary good handles written all over his face!
Shikamaru Nara pulls up the pill into the front rim! That's frustrating for this legit talent!
This all-time great Donald Trump forces a pass into double coverage! Picked off!
Jesus Christus gives up the back door! Shaky emotions under pressure when overplaying!
Paul George explodes and kicks the stanchion! This dude putting the league on notice losing composure!
Halftime! Paul George looks in the mirror and shakes his head. Little secret: Paul George watches cat videos between quarters. Says it's relaxing. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Donald Trump can't get it to fall! Gravity treats the rock differently than the das nächste Venture!
Paul George is running on pure willpower! This next-level player refusing to quit!
Donald Trump dribbles it off their foot! The ihr Portfolio-Hauptbuch would never betray a kapitalanleger like that!
Donald Trump stares in disbelief! The look of a kapitalanleger who just lost everything!
Jesus Christus consoles teammates! The heart of a messias in that moment!
Jesus Christus chews his nails on the bench. Dschingis Khan stares at his shoes like they're the source of the problem. My evening? I spent it holding back tears. Of joy? Of exhaustion? Both. Alright, good evening! Now it's 'Love Is in the Parking Lot.' Romance guaranteed.
Spieltag 9 — vs Houston Blast-Off
88-108 (N)
Dschingis Khan bounces the basketball pre-game! Getting that rhythm going!
Dschingis Khan clanks it off the rim! That sounded like the Kampfstandarte hitting the die Kriegsfront!
Donald Trump dispossessed! Couldn't hold on, not the kapitalanleger's finest moment!
Paul George, this tree of a man, lets the shooter get free along the baseline! Costly lapse!
Paul George with an incredible reverse layup from the right corner! Standing ovation!
The players head to the locker room. Jesus Christus is sweating like a racehorse. Fun fact: Jesus Christus tried to negotiate a 'mandatory nap' clause in his contract. Denied. Here we go. Tactical adjustments have been made.
This name that's buzzing Paul George can't believe the call! Arguing with the ref!
Shikamaru Nara, this solid build, gets the look in transition but the lid's on the rim!
This respected competitor Paul George sets the back screen! Unreal swagger off-ball contribution!
Dschingis Khan, this versatile guy, looks exhausted along the baseline! The legs are gone!
This once-in-a-lifetime player Donald Trump tips the hat to the winner. Respect despite the pain.
Dschingis Khan refuses the coach's embrace. Paul George accepts it but his body is stiff. I got a text from Dschingis Khan after the game. Just kidding. Nobody texts me. Good night everyone! Up next: 'Worst Cooks in America: Boiling an Egg Without Breaking It.' Challenge accepted.
Spieltag 10 — vs Denver Horse-Track
102-118 (N)
Jesus Christus blows past with energy from the opening whistle! This generational talent locked in!
Donald Trump rushes a finger roll from the right corner! Tendency to force bad shots creeping in!
Dschingis Khan commits the live-ball turnover! The Kampfstandarte would be ashamed!
Shikamaru Nara, this versatile guy, loses the assignment! Easy bucket over tendency to force bad shots!
Shikamaru Nara drains it! Emptying the tank like a fiktiver ninja on double shift!
Halftime whistle! Paul George grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Little scoop: Paul George logs every game in a notebook. With stars and smiley faces. At that age. Let's go, we're back. The crowd claps in rhythm.
Shikamaru Nara shakes their head! A fiktiver ninja who can't believe that just happened!
Shikamaru Nara misfires again! Having the game-shaped night!
Jesus Christus reads the defense like a book! Perfect play call from this messias!
Dschingis Khan grabs the jersey for air! Needs more air than the Kampfstandarte in the workshop!
Jesus Christus leaves the gymnasium quietly! Quiet as a messias after the game setback!
Paul George punches his locker when he gets to the locker room. Jesus Christus slides down the wall to the floor. Tonight I had a revelation: Jesus Christus runs exactly like my neighbor when he misses the bus. See you tomorrow. In the meantime, it's 'Who Wants to Marry My Goldfish.' Good luck with that.
Spieltag 11 — vs New York Over-Timers
97-113 (N)
Paul George, this colossus, sets the tone immediately! Insane court vision from the jump!
Dschingis Khan bricks it! Not the same accuracy as versammelning the die Kriegsfront!
Paul George, this titan, steps out of bounds with the damn ball! Mental lapse!
Dschingis Khan gets posterized! A feldherr framed by the Kampfstandarte in the worst way!
Donald Trump muscles through for an alley-oop! The strength of a kapitalanleger moving the das nächste Venture!
Halftime. Donald Trump's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Did you know Donald Trump once tried to start an ASMR podcast of sneaker squeaks on the hardwood? One episode. Deleted. Back to hostilities. Faces have changed in the locker room.
Paul George drops the head after another miss! Shaky emotions under pressure sapping the confidence!
Shikamaru Nara can't score in the second quarter! This fiktiver ninja is way off tonight!
Dschingis Khan goes to the post! That feldherr strength is showing!
Dschingis Khan gets the mercy sub! Mercy, like a feldherr begging the die Kriegsfront for mercy!
Dschingis Khan wipes a tear! A feldherr who poured everything into the effort!
Paul George lets out a nervous laugh that sends chills down your spine. Donald Trump decides not to comment. I learned tonight that Paul George used to be a fiktiver ninja. That explains the unique running style. Good night! Up next: 'My 600-Lb Neighbor: He Makes Noise at 3 AM.' Shocking testimonies.
Spieltag 12 — vs Cleveland Twin-Towers
87-122 (N)
Paul George fades away into position! This next-level player not wasting any time!
Dschingis Khan misses the triple! Three-pointers aren't like triple-checking the die Kriegsfront!
Jesus Christus throws it out of bounds! Like launching their bare hands into the void!
Paul George, this absolute unit, fouls unnecessarily from downtown! Shaky emotions under pressure!
Shikamaru Nara can't hide the frustration! Their bare hands frustration meets the basketball frustration!
Halftime. Jesus Christus's hair is completely soaked, like climbing out of a pool. Fun fact: Jesus Christus failed the driving test three times. On the court it's a different story, thankfully. Resetting the counters for this second half. Well, not really.
Donald Trump bobbles and misses! Fumbling the orange like it's a Monday morning!
Paul George, this established player, sucking wind after that sprint! The 4 periods of 12 minutes of battle!
This living legend Jesus Christus with a careless turnover! Gift-wrapped for the opponent!
This undisputed superstar Dschingis Khan fouls hard out of frustration! Tendency to rush showing!
This seasoned vet Shikamaru Nara shakes hands and moves on. In the end, lack of consistency proved costly.
Jesus Christus stands alone at center court as the lights go dim. Dschingis Khan comes back to get him. During the timeout, I tried to do pull-ups on the edge of the broadcast booth. Zero. That's a wrap for tonight. Coming up: 'The Amazing Race: Subway Line 13.' Viewer discretion advised.
Spieltag 13 — vs Boston Ring-Chasers
78-122 (N)
Paul George, this established player, draws first blood! A half-court heave to start!
Jesus Christus, this all-around player, wastes a golden chance with a wild half-court heave!
Paul George spins the orange right to the defense! Costly mistake by this next-level player!
Donald Trump beaten off the dribble! Quicker than the das nächste Venture slipping from a kapitalanleger!
Jesus Christus kicks the air! The frustration of a messias who knows they can do better!
End of the first half. Jesus Christus is beet red but still standing. Did you know Jesus Christus plays better when it's raining outside? Even indoors. Go figure. The players come back running. Did someone set the locker room on fire?
Paul George dishes and fires but misses everything! Injury-prone body tonight!
Jesus Christus can barely run! The 48 regulation minutes harder than the 48 regulation minutes of competing the game!
Shikamaru Nara with the travel! Footwork confusion worthy of a lost fiktiver ninja!
Donald Trump spins away from the huddle! This potential GOAT in a dark place mentally!
Dschingis Khan fought but fell short! Just out of reach, the feldherr gave everything!
Shikamaru Nara claps his hands in frustration. Dschingis Khan clenches his jaw so hard you can hear it from here. I learned that Shikamaru Nara's father was a fiktiver ninja. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Sleep tight! Coming up: 'Forensic Files: Who Finished the Milk Without Telling Anyone.'
Spieltag 14 — vs San Antonio Skyscrapers
89-133 (N)
Jesus Christus takes the court to a sold-out gym on fire! The messias with their bare hands is here!
This league veteran Paul George misses the mark! A double-clutch layup goes begging from the left corner!
This hall-of-fame lock Jesus Christus with turnover number lengths ahead! Lack of consistency is piling up!
This guy with rings on every finger Jesus Christus caught ball-watching! Backdoor cut for an easy score!
Paul George fades away angrily after the turnover! This hooper's hooper spiraling!
Halftime. Shikamaru Nara wolfs down an energy bar in two bites. True story: Shikamaru Nara walked into the wrong locker room during his first game against San Antonio Skyscrapers. Awkward. Play resumes. The DJ drops a beat to hype up the crowd.
A pull-up jumper attempt by Paul George falls short! Sometimes predictable game in the legs!
Jesus Christus labors up the court! Trudging like a messias dragging the game!
Shikamaru Nara loses the orange! A fiktiver ninja would never be this careless!
Jesus Christus mouths off at coming out of the locker room! A messias venting about the game!
Jesus Christus shakes hands through the pain! A messias who respects their bare hands and the game!
Shikamaru Nara closes his eyes walking out. Paul George keeps his wide open, fixed, empty. My chair squeaked the entire game. Everyone thinks it was me. It was not me. That's it. Up next: 'Anthony Bourdain Visits: The Park-and-Ride in Poughkeepsie.' Culture shock.
Spieltag 15 — vs Oklahoma City Treasure-Chest
73-118 (N)
Jesus Christus, this swiss-army-knife type, is introduced and the arena explodes! This all-time great is in the building!
Shikamaru Nara, this up-and-coming baller, fumbles the finish from the left corner! Back to the drawing board!
Dschingis Khan loses the rock in traffic! This hall-of-fame lock can't afford that!
This franchise cornerstone Jesus Christus fouls reaching in! Sometimes predictable game on defense!
Dschingis Khan vents at their teammates! The feldherr who vents about the die Kriegsfront!
Halftime whistle! Shikamaru Nara grabs a towel and collapses on the bench. Rumor has it Shikamaru Nara does 100 push-ups before every game. Or 10. Depends who you ask. The show goes on. Players take position. Silence. Whistle.
Donald Trump forces a two-handed slam under the basket! This all-time great trying too hard!
Paul George blows past but the legs won't cooperate! Limited stamina catching up!
This league veteran Paul George commits the offensive foul! Turnover under the basket!
Shikamaru Nara argues with the ref! The same passion they bring to competing the game!
Paul George, this tower, hangs the head. Tough loss despite nerves of steel effort.
Dschingis Khan's lip is trembling. Paul George dodges the cameras by pulling up his hood. During the break, I tried to juggle three balls. My cameraman filmed everything. It'll come out someday. Until next time! Up next: 'Life Unplugged: A Day Without WiFi.' A shocking documentary.
My Team finishes #16 (0W-15L). Better luck next season! MVP: Paul George.
Saisonjournal
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